The Way Home
by syriana94
Summary: "Crawley's London House robbed. No news from the abductors yet. No ransom asked. Lady Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham, is no where to be found. All the theories inside." •Cobert• (some Baxley here and there) When the light is hidden and the path is lost, how long does it take to come back home? [high T for ch4 & ch19]
1. Chapter 1 - Missing

**NdA** : The next chapter will be released Wednesday 4th. **  
This chapter (with little corrections) has been already posted on my tumblr blog, born as a little drabble. I saw some people were interested so here's the sequel. It's going to be a multi-chapter story, I have a lot of ideas but _if you have any suggestion please share with me_!  
**

 **I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes, reviews are very welcomed! ****Hope you like it!**

 **I wish to all of you a pleasant reading!**

 _P.S. I'm a Cobert fan. So believe me it's going to be a Happry Ending, whatever happens (remember this)._

* * *

Chapter 1

"Papa, she's been missing since Friday and you're not worried?" Mary asked the same question again, not sure if her father had heard the first time. Her voice was sharp and calm, like Violet's, yet it was only a mask to cover her real feelings: she was indeed beginning to worry.

"She's not missing." Robert sighed like he had had enough of those questions, although he's heard it only two or three times, from both his daughters. "She's just mad at me and she went to London. End of the discussion."

"With her maid?" Mary went on "In our London house? Not at aunt Rosamund's?" at those words, Robert turned slowly to face her daughter. There was clearly a lack of information from him.

"I thought she went to your aunt's house." he muttered without showing a single emotion. Mary stepped closer to him, her left fingers tormenting the right ones, like every time she was nervous.

"But I phoned her and she said she dined with mama at the Ritz on Thursday and then mama said she wanted to be alone for the next day so aunt Rosamund didn't worry. But then on Sunday evening she was surprised she still hadn't got anything from mama so she send her a message but mama didn't answer." she spoke without a single pause.

Robert stared at the void.

"She's really crossed then." he said just above whisper, his pen frozen in the mid-air.

"Why did you fight?" Mary enquired, both for concern and for curiosity. Robert sighed loud.

"Actually it was you Granny. It's the same old story.. she was angry for the Hospital and she said out of the blue something about your mama being American- I can't quite recall the conversation. Your mama got mad and said that even you and Edith are half American but Granny denied, saying you two are completely British.." he was rubbing his fingers on his forehead, trying to escape the incoming headache.

"But we are British!" stated Mary with pride, as if being American was a sort of shame. Yes, Granny Violet had done a good job on making everyone think so. "I suppose you didn't take mama's side."

"I did not." he confessed with a small voice. "I suppose I actually made worse." he made a guilty wince at the window, recalling part of the conversation that led to the real discussion.

Mary sighed. Granny was right, of course, but surely mama expected papa to take her side. No doubts she was angry with him.

"You should go to London and-"

"Milord! Milord!" Carson's voice caught their attention in less than a second. Few were the times Robert saw the butler running inside the house, except the time he was announcing the birth of her daughters or something very bad had happened.

"What is it, Carson?!" the woman studied the butler's face: it was red, his eyes full of fright.

"These just arrived, Milord." a letter and the daily paper from London. "You have to read those at once." he ordered with his panting breath. The paper hadn't been ironed which was very unusual.

Robert silently asked what was the source of all that fuss, wondering if he'd had to read the letter or the paper first.. he chose the paper. The front page showed a picture of a house he well knew.

Mary's hands covered her thin lips to suppress a shocked wince.

 **Crawley's London House robbed.**

 **It has occurred approximately on Sunday evening, around 8pm but it has been discovered only late this night.  
The house was occupied by only few people, one of who is in critical condition due to the aggression. No news from the abductors yet. No ransom asked.**

 **Lady Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham is no where to be found.**

 **All the theories inside.**


	2. Chapter 2 - That Sunday evening

**NdA : I'd like to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for showing me so much interest and reviewing with kind words.  
**Expecially I'd like to give my gratitude to witchoesed, Tina, granthamfan, eyeon & Countess of Cobert.

 **Here's what happened on that fatidic Sunday evening.  
It's like a flashback of the first chapter and then from the 3rd on the timeline will be linear.  
Dear reader, _if you have any suggestion -of any kind- please share it with me_!  
**

 **I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes, reviews are very welcomed! ****Hope you like it!**

 **I wish to all of you a pleasant reading!**

* * *

CHAPTER 2 - that Sunday evening  


 _Sunday Morning, 10am_

Cora rolled lazily into the bed. It was way too big for just one person.  
She stared at the empty space beside her, at her left, imagining just for a moment her husband soundly sleeping with his lips parted, snoring. It always been a mystery for her the reason why, but when they happened to be in London for the night, Robert snored louder than at home at Downton. It was always funny when he denied everything, while his cheeks became red.

She smiled, stretching her limbs and yawning, laying her eyes on the pink room that would have hosted her for at least one day more. So many memories were jealousy kept between those walls, romantic nights, whispered chats, endless plans for the future of their daughters conceived before the mantel.

Cora shook slowly her head, covering her face with both of her hands and sighing loudly. She was acting like a baby, a petulant child who got crossed over nothing. After all, it was anything new, nothing she hadn't already heard before.. actually Cora didn't honestly know why she reacted like that. Maybe she just wanted to teach Robert a lesson, maybe she just wanted him to realize how much he would have missed his life without her at his side.

"Milady are you awake?" the soft knock on the door and the shy voice of Phyllis Baxter, her maid, caught her attention.

"Yes Baxter, come in." Cora fixed her eyes on the white wooden door. It opened very slowly and soon it revealed the kind face of the woman, her gentle smile peeking through the slit. "Good morning."

"Good morning Milady." she said, entering the room with a tray full of food in her hand. She placed in Cora's lap and began to fold her robe before opening the heavy curtains to let the bright light of the sun in. "It's a lovely day." she announced.

Phyllis in truth, was very worried for her mistress: she'd spoke with Mrs Hughes when her Ladyship ordered to pack up her things and prepare to go to London and they both agreed that the reason was that something had gone wrong with his Lordship. She was very sad. It was rare for couples like them to be in love and yet they were.. it would have been a terrible waste if their relationship would eventually cracked.

"It is." agreed Cora, taking a long sip from her glass of orange juice. "I think I'll go for walk after lunch." the maid turned herself and without even realizing it, she found herself staring at her mistress with an utterly blank expression.

"What is it, Baxter?" asked Cora concerned. Did she spilled something on her gown?

"I beg your pardon Milady but.." Cora put down the toast she was eating.

"But?"

"Is there something wrong with his Lordship?" Phyllis realized she was going into a minefield as soon as she spoke. It was private, nothing that a Countess would have had to share with her maid. She just pleaded that her mistress would have understood that her question was out of concern and not mere curiosity.

"No." her voice was vague.

"Sorry, Milady. I shouldn't have asked-"

"No it's fine." Cora smiled sweetly "After all, I dragged you here with no explanation." she left a chuckle escape her lips "I got mad over nothing and I wanted his Lordship to understand.. and I honestly needed a break from that Hospital matter." she sighed "But don't worry, Baxter. It's only for one day more, we'll be back at Downton tomorrow before dinner."

"I'm glad to hear that, Milady." Phyllis gave her a genuine smile "I'll warn the cook about your plans." she couldn't hide her relief, learning that the family wasn't going through a dark moment, at least nothing too serious; she was sure that Milady and Milord would have mend fences as soon as they'd returned home. Those two could not simply stay away from each other, it was a well known fact. "Would you like me to accompany you during your walk, Milady?" the woman looked back from a moment, before stepping into the corridor.  
Cora shook her head.

"No, thank you Baxter, there's no need. I won't be very long."

"Very good Milady. I'll come back later to help you get dress."

* * *

 _Sunday Afternoon, 16:30_

Cora was calmly walking in the streets of London. Oddly, within that deafening traffic, screams of merchants who were trying to sell their items, noises and smells so different from the one she was used to, Cora could really relax. It was a so complex, layered world, so far from hers, that only when she was deeply dug in there she could really appreciate the calmness of the Yorkshire, of her home, of how much her work could be useful, there, rather than in a city where everyone was busy and occupied with their own lives. It was good for her.

"Lady Grantham?" Cora jerked awkwardly when she heard a male voice calling her from behind. Her fingers squeezed the wood of the white umbrella she carried with her. "I bed your pardon, I didn't mean to scare you." the gentleman – grey frock and classy hat – bowed a little, showing a bushy blonde hair. Cora thought he was in his late fifty.

"No need to apologies." she smiled as she turned herself to face him.

"My name is Pearce Loyce." he stretched his hand waiting for her to shake it. Cora did, even if a little reluctant. "I work for you daughter, Edith Crawley, at _the Sketch._ "

"Oh." She didn't remember Edith telling her about this man, but maybe he was one of the last purchases – after Granny's butler she wasn't surprise of anything.

"May I ask you some question?" he enquired, holding his breath and begging her with his grey eyes to say _yes_. "Our readers ask often about your Ladyship and his Lordship but Lady Edith never writes a section because she feels she would take advantage of her family but- but if I collect the information, maybe-" he bite on his own lip "Oh forget it- I was impertinent, I'm stealing your time." he removed once again his hat, but before he could say his goodbyes, Cora nodded and shrugged her shoulders.

"I have nothing to do, Mr. Loyce." she confessed "I'd like to help Edith."

"If Lady Edith ever found out I took advantage of her own mother-"

"But you didn't." Cora assured "I wasn't aware of the interests of your readers. I would have helped sooner." she pointed the cobbled path before them, toward the little lake at the centre of the park and soon they were walking side by side, him asking question and doodling on his notebook and her enjoying the sun and a little chat with that colleague of Edith.

"So, what's the reason of your visit here in London? Is there a fancy private party we common citizens aren't aware of?" he was using a dramatic tone, with the only purpose of lighten up the conversation. Cora shook her head with an amused smile.

"Oh no. I'm here on my own just for few days." she answered sincerely.

"On your own?" this time his voice was full of curiosity "Is something wrong with Lord Grantham?"

Cora bite her own tongue as soon as she realized she had given him the perfect start for a gossip section.

"Not at all." she said, maybe a little too loud.

"All-right." he chuckled, erasing with heavy doodles his last sentence "I believe you. Beside, I don't think Lady Edith would have allowed something of the kind." he paused briefly "Tell me something about the Hospital, would you?" he encourages, flipping the page into a brand new one.

"Gladly. News travels fast." she chuckled. That was a safe ground, fortunately.  
So Cora spoke as they walked, happy to have found something useful even there in London.

When she came back at the London house, it was almost evening, she was tired but happy and thrilled, at the thought of the late morning train she would have taken tomorrow to bring her home.  
After all, that punishment was double-faced: Cora was the first one to miss her home and, above all, her half.

* * *

 _Sunday Evening 20:10_

Cora was sitting at her vanity, her braid on her left shoulder, and her hands covered by a thin layer of lotion that smelled of lemon verbena.  
She'd dined very early that evening and she planned to retire even earlier than usual, for a very extended reading, thing she hadn't done in a long time.

"I packed everything, Milady. I'll finish with your night things in the morning." Baxter informed. Cora nodded with a smile.

"Thank you, Baxter." she stood up from the chair and slipped out her robe to approach the bed, her favourite book squeezed between her arm and her chest "Our train is at eleven so we should be ready to leave at ten."

"Perfect, Milady. I'll wake you up at nine." they wished each other goodnight and Baxter left the room.

* * *

 _Sunday Evening 20:30_

Phyllis Baxter's room fell into the darkness. She had tripped the oil lamp on the floor after she'd heard a frightful noise not too far from her room, maybe in the kitchen.  
She carefully peeked out her door, ready to smile in sympathy at the cook or at the young kitchen maid who had made something fall and break but Phyllis saw nothing of the sort.

She held her breath when, instead, she heard some male voice chatting under whisper.

" _Shoot everyone who stands in the way. We only need_ _her_ _."_ the woman covered her lips with her hand, her heart started racing in her chest.

" _Don't screw this up. This is our only chance."_ they were two, Phyllis guessed. And the ' _her_ ' they where talking about was surely her Ladyship.  
Her mistress was in danger.  
She had to warn her.

The woman waited for them to sneak into the other room, probably taking the servants' stairs and then she collected all her cold blood, her courage, and ran, leaving her shoes by the door.  
She clasped onto the handrail to speed her steps, begging for the two to be lost into the labyrinth of corridors and stairs reserved to the employees while she had taken the one reserved to the owners and guests, and she broke into Cora's room, panting, without smalltalk.

"Baxter, what on earth-?" Cora jumped on her bed, tripping her book on the floor. She knew something had happened, otherwise her maid would have never behaved like that.

"Milady you need to get up at once!" she whispered loud, locking the door behind her "There's someone in the house!" Cora's eyes widened full of fright and panic.

"Robbers?" she was on her feet, quickly wearing her robe.

"I-I suppose so. We're just five in this house and Mr. Chase is too old to face them and- and- they have guns!"

Cora covered her mouth, unable to calm herself.

"We need to get out." she stated "If they're after the jewellery we need to bring everyone out and we shall be safe." Baxter lively nodded.

"Take the prime stairs Milady. I'll warn the others and then we'll meet-" a thundering gun's shot made them startled, and they both couldn't help a choked shriek escape their lips.

" _We know you're in there!"_ came the muffling voice behind the door. Door which now brought a horrible black hole. _"No need to fuss, ladies."_ the man sang.

Cora and her maid shared a frightful glance. They both knew it was too late.  
They had only two possibilities: the first in which the robbers were satisfied with the few jewellery Cora brought with her, not wounds and just a big scare; the second.. they would have succumbed, maybe they would have died, maybe they would have been kidnapped.  
It all seemed so absurd.

Another shot, this time the lock blew up and the door flew open.

The two women watched powerless as two individuals, tall and wearing all black, with their faces covered, entering the room with two guns in their gloved hands.

"Take all the jewellery, we won't stop you." mumbled Cora "We won't even tell the police." Phyllis stepped back, nearer Cora, both for support and scare. She wasn't serious, right? He mistress would have for certain warn the police at some point.  
But what if the two sought for more? What if they would have not listened? What if they would have shot? What if they had died there?  
Her mind was racing so fast..

"Sure." he chuckled the first one. "Unfortunately we didn't come for your pearls." with a smooth move, he flipped his gun with his hand, putting Cora in the fire line. "I'm sure Lord Grantham will pay a great ransom, don't you think?" he enquired his colleague, who just nodded with a sleazy chuckle.

"I'll call the police." Baxter simply stated, her eyes determined and full of courage. She couldn't be the witness of such injustice and doing nothing. She had to try, or she would have never been able to forgive herself.. once she made a mistake but twice, no, she couldn't let this happen, not again.

"Baxter.." Cora tried to pull back the woman from her arm, her blue eyes unable to break the contact with the two men.

"Listen to your mistress." joked the second one, letting out a soft chuckle.

Phyllis clenched her jaw, her fists squeezed alongside her hips and then she tried to run toward the door, her goal well fixed in her mind: first floor, the hall, the phone.

Within a second, all the room fell into chaos.

"Shot! Shot!" screamed the taller man; the next thing Cora heard was indeed a shot. She shut her eyes closed. "Take her, quick!" soon enough, she felt two strong arms clenching at her body. Cora tried to scream and squirm away, but she was too shocked, too frightened, simply too weak to fight him back. "Hit her, for God's sake!" one of the two ordered and then she felt the room spinning around her, an unimaginable pain spreading in her head.

Next thing she saw was a blurry image of Baxter lying on the floor next to her, a red pool spreading under her slim body.

" _I thought you were more clever."_ a voice muttered. She recognised a sort of disappointment in that tone; yet it appeared too distant for her to hear clearly.  
A sigh.  
Both were removing the clothes masking their faces, but she couldn't see.. her sight was too clouded, she was too tired.

" _Nice job."_ a laugh. _"We're going to be rich."_

Cora let out a sore moan before her thoughts went black.


	3. Chapter 3 - Too many questions

**NdA: here I am.. sorry for the delay guys! I'd like to thank you all, in particular** **NovaCalla , ****witchoesed , ****eyeon , ****Amiliana Martin , Tina & ****Countess of Cober t who took time to leave a review. I owe you guys!  
**

Here's the 3rd chapter. Back to normal timeline. There are no great things for this one, because is mainly a link for the chapters to come, but I think it's worth a reading (well, at least I hope xD). **  
A lot of Robert drama, a little bit of baxley and a shocking revelation for the ending lines.**  
 **Curious, now? Read to find out!**

I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes, _reviews are very welcomed_!

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

CHAPTER 3 - too many questions  


 **We have your wife.  
Bring 300 sovereigns at the northern entrance of the Green Park. **

**17th of July  
19:00 o'clock on the dot.**

 **Do not call the police.**

Robert emptied the stained envelope and a silver barrette embedded with little blue stones fell on his desk. It was Cora's, without any doubt. It was his first birthday gift, in the distant 1890.

"My God.." he chocked out, completely paralysed by fear.

Flashes of images and moments of his lovely wife ran before his eyes: the first time her met her, so gentle and so shy, her beautiful blue eyes, their dances, the birthdays, her singing during Christmas, theirs children's births, her smile, her kisses, her hold, her face. Oh her face. Was she all right? Was she hurt? Was she scared or cold or thirsty? Was she safe, wherever she was? Cora, Cora, she was so strong, so stubborn and yet so fragile, so precious.

"Is this some kind of evil joke?" breathed out Mary, clenching her nails around the fabric of the nearest armchair, her mama's favourite. "This can't be real."

"The world went insane!" sighed Edith frustrated, coming from the hall. She had her cup of coffee in her hand, now it was unusual seeing her without one. "Can you believe this? My editor just told me the most dumbfounding story about-" she froze on the spot in the moment she entered the small library.

"You know how to be inappropriate even without trying." Mary's cold and flat voice hit her sister like a thunder out of the blue.

"Please tell me it's not true." bubbled Edith on the edge of tears.

"It is." this time was Robert's voice telling her the worst news she'd ever heard; she'd refused to believe her editor when she was only telling the truth, she'd even threatened to fire her if she would have persisted with that nonsense.

"What shall we do?" her panting voice accompanied her steps toward the desk. She read and read those words. It was a typewriter, so no clue could be found in the calligraphy because there was none.

"We'll pay and hope for the best." Robert lips were sealed tight one against the other, his eyes red, his chest quickly falling up and down, his throat convulsing to avoid the need to cry.

"Papa, we need to act!" Edith blurted out. No one of them had ever heard the second-born of the Grantham House raising her voice like that. "We _must_ call the police!"

Robert stood up on his feet, pushing the chair with the back of his legs, which fell nosily on the carpet.

"I will not put your mother in danger!"

"She's already in danger, papa! We can't manage on our own." she drew a sharp breath "I have a paper, I live in London, I know how these things work. Please you have to trust me." she begged, placing her hand on her father's shoulder.. Of course he was frightened, of course his firsts thoughts were directed to follow the kidnappers' instructions.. but it was wrong and she knew better.

She glanced at Mary, who stood still on her feet, in shock. They needed to take the reins of the whole matter.

"What do you suggest then?" Robert fixed his light eyes into his daughter's.

"We're going to London, as soon as possible.. and Mary will take care of the estate." she nodded, supportively, waiting for her sister to regain herself.

"Of course." her voice was flat "Tom will help me." Mary cleared her throat and looked in Carson's direction who had witnessed everything without making a sound, while inside of him the storm was howling. "Please, inform the staff. I'll phone the Dowager House."

"Call aunt Rosamund first." instructed Edith with firm tone. Mary hated it, but she didn't complained. "I shall go with papa, and we need a place to stay over night. Of course our house is not safe."

* * *

The rhythmical noise of the train wheels on the iron tracks was the only sound existing in his mind.  
Robert had his sight locked on the window, where the hills ran alongside the train and the Yorkshire countryside lazily was becoming the ground of small houses and estates, and then villages and cities in distance.

"We should have brought Mrs. Hughes or Carson too." said Edith absent-mindedly, trying to distract her father.

"Molesley is enough. I didn't want to bring anyone but- I know how he feels." for a brief moment, his thoughts went to the footman, nervously pacing in the corridor of train carriage. Robert had bought three first class tickets, thinking that maybe that little taste of unusual luxury could be a balm for him, maybe even to test his true feelings for Cora's maid and his thoughts had been confirmed when Molesley had acted exactly the same. Robert instantly understood that they were in the same condition: with their beloved ones lost somewhere.  
They could have been there on in the third class or even in the coal wagon, their hearts would have continued to worry, to run, to skip beats at every dark thought.

"These things turn out for the best, most of the times." Edith nodded as she spoke, recalling with her mind all the cases she'd read during her life: ransoms, kidnappings of nobles or kids.. all the books ended with a happy embrace. Also in real life, sometimes. Why their case should have been different?

"And the other times for the worst." his voice was awfully flat.

"We'll do everything in the regular way. They're after the money after all, they won't hurt mama." was she talking for her papa or for herself? Edith didn't know, maybe for the both of them.

"I hope you're right." his voice broke at the end, his knuckles pressed on his mouth to prevent his crying moans.

* * *

"What was the last interaction?" the police officer enquired, his pen ready to write more information possible. He'd already noted down a physical description of Cora, some more details given by all the family and now he was focusing on that particular event: it wasn't just a case of a missing person, now, it was an official capture as the papers had hypothesized.

"A phone call." Robert answered, twitching his hat under the desk as he spoke. At both of his sides were sitting Edith and Rosamund, who met them at the station and agreed to be interrogated to catch more clues.

"With you, sir?" the officer asked.

"With me." Rosamund took word, speaking calmly so that the policeman could've taken all the information he needed "We dined at Ritz on Thursday and on that very night I phoned her because she'd been quiet and it's not like her. She said she wanted to be alone for the next day so I didn't bother her. I suppose I didn't worry because I know her and- well, I let her be for Friday and Saturday too.. but then I began to worry when she didn't show up for Sunday either.. She said she would have said goodbye on Monday morning before leaving but- I send her a message anyway. It was around nine and it was already dark outside. My butler returned home around ten and he told everything he saw and then he went to the police."

"Why no one cared to warn me?!" yelled Robert, shocked form those new information. His own sister knew from the previous night and didn't say nothing. The police even knew that his wife was missing and said nothing.. he had to find out from newspaper and from the kidnappers' letter. Why on earth the whole word knew and he didn't?

"I tried, Robert!" cried Rosamund, defending herself "I phoned all night but I just couldn't reach Downton."

"We usually phone the families as soon as news of the kind reach our ears. Something must had gone wrong." said the officer in low voice. "The phone could have been cut off."

"Nonsense!" Edith stumbled in "My sister Mary phoned aunt Rosamund's house this very morning I heard her talking to the butler as we left."

"Mmh.." the policeman tapped his fingers on the desk "There's only one explanation: the kidnappers had a partner or they simply paid someone to make sure that your home would have been cut off from the rest of the world just for the needed time."

"Someone in the house?" blood ran through Robert's veins. A traitor. A traitor in the house. A traitor who put Cora in danger.

"Possible. Or in the village. The communications lines are in common?"

"Yes." he answered vaguely. That could meant everything and nothing. "Is it a dead end?"

"For now, most likely. We need to wait for the witness to wake up from her comatose state." the police officer said calmly "That's all for now. Where can I find you if anything comes up or if I need your reports?"

"My address." Rosamund politely answered. The man nodded.

"Anyway, who's the witness?" Robert asked, both hoping and not hoping to hear a familiar name. The officer searched through some files and hazily gave his answer.

"Phyllis Baxter. She's been brought to the St. Bartholomew's Hospital."

* * *

"Her injuries were severe. The shot hit her near her right lung." informed the doctor as Robert and Molesley entered the white room. It was so quite and peaceful that it was weird thinking that someone was fighting for his life.

"When she'll be awake?" enquired Robert with concerned voice. He wanted Baxter to feel good and he wanted her to tell them something about Cora, for how insensitive and egoistic could it seemed, he wanted to know as soon as possible. She was his only hope.

"Hard to say, Lord Grantham." the doctor sighed "I think within three days."

"Three days?!" he strived not to yell. He only had four until the 17th. "I don't have that much time." he muttered on the edge of another tear crises.

"I'm really sorry sir, but it is not in our hands. It's up to Miss Baxter now." Robert sighed as he watched Molesley approaching at the little bed that hosted Phyllis' body. She was fighting, maybe Cora was too. She had to.. she had to hold on for few more days. Oh much he wanted to be at Molesley's place, holding his beloved one's hand, whispering comforting words, making known his presence.  
Robert only hoped that wherever Cora was, she was fine and she could feel him beside her, protecting her and loving her even from distance.

* * *

"How can you don't know, Mr. Chase?!" Robert was yelling madly at the London House's butler and only Edith prevented her father to grip the collar of the old man.

"I-I'm really sorry Milord." he mumbled "I when I heard the shots I run to call Miss Baxter but she was gone so I thought she was already safe with her Ladyship and- and I called the other maids.." he paused, his bottom lip trembled "I didn't know.." he said sincerely.

"Go home, Mr. Chase." Edith stated politely, taking the house's keys into her hand. "We shall call you when it's all over. Until then it's better leave the house empty."

Robert strived not to fire the man in that very moment. He'd neglected Cora, his mistress! How could he possibly get away with it?

"You let him go?" Edith felt her father's disapproval glance on her body.

"Yes." she sighed "He knows nothing. He's sincere. He's been with us for as long as I remember.. beside the house is always empty.. he's just a guardian, we need nothing more for this house." of course his daughter was right. He wasn't, he _could_ not think straight. His heart spoke for him the most of the time, along with the concern, the anger, the feeling of being powerless. "Are you ready?" Edith shifted her hand into her father's.

"I am." he answered with a shy smile. He was about to enter that house. The last place that hosted safely his poor wife. Where was she now?

He drew a sharp breath. Robert believed he could have found something relevant in their bedroom, something that the police or a stranger couldn't find. A clue, a hint, left by Cora herself. If not, he just wanted to collect what was left of her things, settling in his room at Rosamund's, as if his lovely wife was still with him.

How did he let her go? Why didn't he stop her? Why did they fight? Why didn't he say ' _I love you one_ ' more time? It was all gone, it was too late. He was about to lose her? How could he possibly live with only half of his body, only half of his soul?  
Would he have been able to save her?

"This smells like mama." Edith melancholy whispered, raising a little bottle on the vanity that had fallen, soiling the surface with a little pool of hands lotion.

"It does." said with the same voice Robert, cherishing the little object along with some others, scattered around the room.

"Oh please you two! She's not dead!" Rosamund's voice harshly worked is way through the silence. "Cora doesn't need you like this. She needs you to be positive." she reached for her brother and rubbed a little his back to comfort him.

"You're right, aunt Rosamund." Edith nodded and picked up Cora's favourite coat from the wardrobe, trying not to get too emotional. "We need to go home, eat and rest. And tomorrow we'll make ourselves useful in any manner whatsoever."

"That's my girl." Rosamund's smiled and widened her arm to invite her nephew to follow her. "C'mon, now. Your papa will join us in the taxi."

Rosamund was weird, passionate, too passionate sometimes, but she was kind. She knew her place, she knew how to help people, most of all her family.

Robert smiled, enjoying those short moments of quiet, deeply dug into his wife's world: her scent of lemon verbena was in the air, her dishevelled clothes scattered all over the room. That wasn't the kidnappers work, that was Cora. That room _screamed_ 'Cora'.  
What terrible moments that room had to witnessed? Where was his wife now? How could he had been so blind, so careless, so.. distant, when she needed him most? Did he called for him?  
Robert let silent tears roll down his cheek as he swore to his Cora, wherever she was, he would have bring her back home.

* * *

Cora blinked her eyes, reaching for a sitting position. Her head ached badly and she was cold; the blanket wrapped around her shoulder was full of holes and her nightgown and her robe weren't enough to protect her from the humidity floating in there. She was in a small, dark room, and she could hear some male voices chatting not too far from there.

" _You have to make sure that that maid won't remember anything that matter."_ Cora tried to identified something from their tones. In that first phrase there was concern _._

" _Don't worry. I'll go to her when she wakes up."_ confidence, this time _._

" _How will you know when she'll be awake?"_ and that was doubtfulness, the same voice she heard for first. She guessed there were other two people with her _._

" _I will."_ Confidence again, it was the second man.

" _As you say."_ A hint of scepticism. _"Instead, why don't you go check on our guest? She should be up by now."_ was he talking about her? Cora held her breath.

The door before her opened, revealing a man with a dirty scarf covering his mouth. He bent down, placing a metallic plate at her feet. Water and some bread. She accepted all with no complaints: she didn't want any troubles.

"Sorry, sweety, but we just ran out of lobster. You might settle for this." he teased. Cora didn't answer.  
She didn't understand any of the things the man was saying.

She waited for the little room to be semi-dark again, empty and quiet to begin to eat and drink slowly.  
She was comfortable being there alone.  
After all she didn't know those men at all.  
But as far as she knew, they were kind, sharing food with her.

Several were the questions she wanted to ask: where was she, what day it was, was she in danger, did she do something wrong, was that some sort of punishment.. But she didn't dare to bother anyone. Though, one question was piercing her empty, aching head, dominating all her thoughts: " _who am I"_?


	4. Chapter 4 - Lost

**NdA: To all who reviewed, I'm sorry I didn't answered (I think we all had the reviews issue). I promise I will answer to all of you this tranche AS SOON AS THEY FIX THIS PROBLEM *AGAIN*, so please R &R :)**

Anyhow, thank you all so much for your time and your interest! Expecialy to lulin, lemacd, witchoesed, Tina, Donwtonix, Dream of Ragtime, NovaCalla, Countess of Cobert, Amiliana Martin & eyeon. I've never had so much people in one of my stories *^* THANK YOU!

 **The flashbacks are in italics.** (I had to write little flashbacks because otherwise it would have been too small) **  
Drama for the present & some little terrific fun (not above T) and angst for the past.**

I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes!

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

CHAPTER 4 - Lost

 _15th July (Wednesday morning)_

" _I'm telling you, there's something wrong in her!_ " Cora tilted her head, she got curious over those mumbling, most of all because she'd heard only silence in hours.

She was wondering why no one seemed to care for her, always speaking behind that door, a shy candle's flame for the only source of light, no one to talk to, no where to go but there, on that dirty mattress on the ground in the darkest corner, listening to the slow drops of humidity hitting the dusty floor or the fast feet of bugs or rats running here and there. That place was a nightmare, she was cold and scared, but what troubled her most was her empty head, her questions, what was that place, who were those men, was there someone who was looking for her, someone she knew?

" _You hit her too hard, idiot_!" she heard a thump, like a fist hitting some wood " _Did you have to hit her in the head_?"

" _She'd scream like a banshee!_ " a loud sigh of annoyance " _I had no choice._ "

" _All-right_." a long pause " _Still, no names, no hints, nothing. It could be temporary.. or she could be just faking it. Th_ _e woman is clever._ "

" _I know._ " Cora recognized the noise of guns being loaded, some metallic sounds, perhaps coins. " _We should check on the other one, though I think she's still in the dream world._ "

" _Perhaps. But can't be too careful._ " a little chuckle. Then she heard some flat heels walking further and further away.

Wasn't she alone? Who was 'the other one'?  
Cora straightened her back, glancing around that small place like she could've find out if there was someone else with her in her same conditions. Maybe they kept other women in other adjacent rooms.  
She could have dare to scream to find out, yet, how would those two react?  
The safest decision was to wait. Even if she didn't know what she was waiting for.

* * *

 _8th July (Wednesday evening)_

" _What would you like for your birthday?" Robert's voice was low and drowsy, his breath warm and steady, next to her ear.  
Cora shivered every time that soft air tickled her skin.  
She didn't answer immediately, enjoining for quite, long moments that ultimate peace with her eyes closed, her cheeks on her husband's chest, her fingers toying with the collar of his blue pyjama shirt._

" _Already?" she hummed "We've got almost two weeks."_

" _I know." he chuckled "And don't think I still don't have a present for you because I do. I was wondering if you'd like to go somewhere special, that's all." Robert laid his arm on her hip, holding her closer, smiling when she sighed, nestling on his chest._

" _I rather stay home with the children." she whispered back._

" _Oh. I was thinking about a dinner at the Ritz." his lips brushed her forehead._

" _I'm too old for that." Cora was giggling, yet that quick sharp breath of hers caught his attention._

" _Where is this coming from?" Robert's eyes sparkled into the dark, searching for hers.  
His fingers went to rest on her chin, pulling gently upwards so she could face him._

" _It's the truth Robert." she smiled sweetly "I don't mind. I love being a granny."_

" _And I love being a donk." their soft chuckles filled the air for a brief moment "Still, you shouldn't feel too old for anything."_

" _Why deny it, darling, it's a fact-"_

" _No." he cut her off, tenderly, yet firmly "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Also there's no time to feel too old.. we've got so much to do, you and me." Cora's smile lightened the whole room. The_ _crackling_ _fire simply disappeared compared to her glimmering eyes._

" _Like what?" she wondered. Robert took a glimpse of her bottom lip, discretely chewed with her pearly white teeth._

" _Well.." he cleared his throat, his hand lazily rubbing her back through the thin fabric of her nightgown, collecting all her shivers "I can think of something that would prove to you my theory."_

" _What theory?" she strived to fake her ignorance on the whole matter when it was clear to both of them where Robert wished to getting at._

" _That you're not too old for anything." his fingers slipped on her throat, then on the nape of her neck, drawing her lips to his. Their breaths melted in one._

" _Anything?" she asked, her mouth brushing on his warm skin._

" _Anything." Robert repeated, pulling Cora in a soft kiss, enhanced with growing passion, which they broke only when the need of breathing became unbearable. "As a matter of fact, I still love you like the first time."_

" _And you'll love me forever?" she beamed, humming in delight when his knuckles touched her cheek._

" _I will." he smiled tenderly back at her, dropping his velvety touch on her collar bone, down to her shoulder, brushing away her nightgown, freeing her ivory skin._

 _She was so elegant and graceful he thought for a moment he was in the presence of a fairly creature, untouchable and mystic, reachable only by the one and only elected. Robert felt so happy and honoured and blessed to be that one._

 _Every kiss tasted like heaven, every stroke felt like the softest of the cloud, every breath sounded like the sweetest of the melodies.  
Her eyes were his light, her embrace was his home.  
_

 _If he thought about Cora, he thought about love.  
Love in all its forms.  
He loved her with body and soul.  
He loved her dearly and passionately and he could be himself only if Cora was by his side, in his arms, breathing with him, quenching her thirst with kisses and whispered words.  
There, in the dark of their room, only them, drowning in their love, with all the world outside the door._

 _Her slender fingers ran through his hazelnut hair. She knew her husband by heart.  
She knew every wrinkle, every grey locks, every sensible spot.  
She loved everything about him, she loved how he made her feel young again, every time he touched her, every time she felt his eyes gazing on her figure during the day._

 _He'd always been so strong and so brave, yet with as the years went by, he gained a fascinating wise look that made him seem like a bold hero, or a fairytale knight.  
Only hers.  
A knight with his damsel already saved, many many years ago, a damsel who already loved him fondly; he was a fairytale knight with just his happy ending to live: a wonderful, peaceful life among loving people and a beautiful family._

 _They'd lived wonderful lives, they'd been terribly happy, they'd fought sorrows and adversities side by side, they'd been separated and reunited, they'd toasted to many new years and sang many times under the Christmas tree. They'd had all, and neither one of them could've wished for more.  
What more life had in store for them? Endless strolls around the gardens of the estate in summer, when the sunset ruled the sky, placid sleeps before the mantel, long reading with the background of children laughing and growing under their eyes.  
It was all so perfect. Their love story, growing old among their stunning family, turning back young again, inside, with the enthusiasm for the new day to come and the impatience of a passionate night._

 _Yet now they laid into each other embrace, their minds empty, their hearts racing together, striving to keep pace.  
With their bodies bound, they were dancing a slow waltz, on silence notes made by panting kisses and burning holds._

 _The sweet pain of the rushing motion becoming a contemplative nocturne, the pure delight of the barely grazed cords still spreading delicious waves through their bodies; shivering and twitching, incapable of resting after infinite moments of unbridled run, searching for that instant, that lonely instant where all the world stops and with the blink of an eye it starts to spin, fast, wildly, until it stops once again, colouring the whole space with countless starts and shades, so beautiful and yet so harsh, so rough and yet so peaceful. Blissful._

 _Old or young it didn't matter. She found herself exactly where he found himself: home, in each other arms.  
That was all it counted.  
Robert had proved to her. He'd proved his endless love, his fascination, his total enchantment toward his beautiful wife._

" _I really don't wish for anything else, darling." her smooth voice caressed the air. Her breath tickled his neck skin. Robert smiled, dragging Cora into a firm embrace._

" _You're content with just me?" she nodded silently._

" _So you'll love me forever?" Cora threw herself on top of him, settling on the most welcoming spot on earth, rocking by his breath, heated by her arms "Say it again." she pleaded, striving to fight the drowsiness._

" _I will love you even when you'll be too old to remember your poor husband." he said, faking a tragic voice. Cora giggled, slapping playfully his arm and giving him a kiss right after._

" _I could never forget you, Robert."_

* * *

 _15th July (Wednesday afternoon)_

Her scent was all over the room.  
Her coat smoothly settled on the right side of the bed, there where she would have rested after lunch.  
A book rested on the chair under the window and fresh flower had been settled in the corner table.

It had all been settled to her taste, to Cora's, and Robert spent so many time in that room, pretending she was with him, maybe away for just few minutes.  
His lost eyes wandered restlessly around the room, expecting the tiny, graceful figure of his wife peeking through the door, claiming his hand, pulling him back to life, in a world where the time had never stopped his going.

It was all froze without Cora.  
It was all on hold, mid-air, like that very room, with her perfume everywhere, announcing her arrival, which never came.

Robert's heart was gripped in a cold hold every time he thought about his moments with his wife. The things that would have once made him smile and swallowing his chest with pride and fondness were now the bitter reminder of his half soul, of his missing companion; he felt like his life died the second he knew Cora was lost.

His fist closed tighter around the barrette, not caring if the pins was hurting his skin: wasn't physical pain an evidence of him being still alive?

Death was not yet to be his friend.  
Death could not take Cora's place.  
Death would have never killed his hopes, his pledges, his prays.

Cora was still alive.  
Cora was to be rescued.  
Cora was waiting for him.  
Cora was not lost. Not completely. Not yet.

Robert couldn't surrender at that idea.

He'd been a fool, letting her go. Let her slip through his fingers like sand, doing nothing to stop her.  
He would have given anything to get the clock ticking backwards, to stop her, to hold her firmly in his embrace, to never let her go away.

Now that is was too late, he had to grip to the memory of her face, of her smile, of her laugh. He needed to fight for her.  
He needed to bring her home at all costs.

* * *

 _9th July (Thursday afternoon)_

" _Cora, really, you're getting mad over nothing!" Robert tried to smooth her raging soul following around their room, keeping few feet of distance, just in case she'd stopped all of a sudden to prevent to bump into her – he'd already had a couple of times – and thus enhance her rage._

" _Over nothing?" she sharply turned, facing her husband with her blue eyes glimmering with fire "She insulted me, again, in my house!"_

" _You know her, dear, you bore her for almost four decades." he said calmly, trying to reach for her hand to caress her, to brush away everything that could have troubled her, but Cora swiftly avoided his touch._

" _That's right. I've had enough." she proclaimed, folding her arms on her chest. Robert didn't get his wife's behaviour.  
He'd never seen Cora so angry, so __unreasonable. She didn't want to talk to him, she didn't want to collaborate. That wasn't Cora.  
Her acting made him irritated as well.  
_

" _Let's see then, what would you like me to do, uh? Keep my mother from entering the estate?" Cora clenched her jaw._

" _I can't stand another critique. I'm a grown up woman and I am American. Let's get over with it." she paused just to breath "As you said, it's been almost four decades!"_

" _Cora, my mother was just-"_

" _And you're no better than her!" she blurted out, furiously. Robert's jaw dropped as his brows farrowed.  
How that diatribe had anything to do with him?_

" _You're unfair! I said_ _absolutely nothing!" he yelled, striving to defend himself._

" _That's exactly what you did!" the back of her hand fell on her hip.  
That was the sing: she was crossed, she was furious, she would have not listened to anyone against her point of view.. not that she was wrong, of course._

" _What did you want me to do?" Robert's voice waved on a high note, prove that he was taken aback from that turn of events "You know mama, I can not possibly set myself up against her." Cora's glance flew around the room, a quick movement, from his light blue eyes to the carpet. "I can't just evicted mama!"_

" _Don't bother, Robert." her blue eyes pierced his soul the moment their glances met again "I will save you the trouble." with few long steps, she reached the bell's string to call for Baxter "I'm going to London." she stated, avoiding his look once again._

" _What?" Robert just couldn't believe his ears.  
Cora had never acted like that. Taking the decision of leaving for another city in the blink of an eye. "You're acting like a child!" she'd never escape a trouble, she'd never left her duties just like that. What about the estate? What about the girls? What about the children? What about the hospital? What about him?_

" _I'm acting like a crossed woman, Robert." she went on, diving into her closet, taking out the firsts clothes "Since you like so much doing nothing, be my guest and stay there. Don't even try to stop me."_

" _I won't. Until you decide to face your problems like you always did.. as a grown up!" he clenched his jaw and closed his fists._

 _When he passed her by, leaving the room, though, he could have sworn she looked, somehow, disappointed.  
For a moment, her big, blue, stunning eyes, didn't bear her anger, her annoyance, her fury, just disappointment._

* * *

 _15th July (Wednesday late afternoon)_

Back then, Robert didn't understand.  
But now he did, cursing himself for being so blind, so careless.

Cora was just waiting for someone to pull her back from her wrist, someone to drag her back home, to make her _feel_ at home once again, someone to smooth her rage, someone to go after her, telling her that her home was the only place she could've been safe, loved, respected, supported.

Robert didn't.  
Robert let it all flew away like candle smoke.

He turned on the bed, his eyes closed since hours, both for tiredness and for denying.  
Time ran faster when his eyes were closed and his mind was lost in his darkness, and it was good, because only when the sunbeams moved across the room he could actually realized that the time wasn't frozen; yet also, some other times, it ran slower, and it was better if the clock didn't tick regularly, avoiding the closer and closer approach of the fatal moment: Friday, 17th July.  
Time was against him in every way.  
How much did he hate time.  
Time that hadn't been enough, time he'd lost, time that threatened Cora with every second that passed by.

He melancholy smiled when his nose brushed on the other pillow, that one that should have been Cora's, the one on which laid Cora's gown, soaked with her scent. Lemon and verbena and the perfume of Cora's skin, Cora's hair.  
Why wasn't she there?  
He begged for her to be just in the next room.  
He almost could heard her soft steps in the corridor, making her way to his room.  
He almost could heard her tender voice, calling for him, saving him from that emptiness.

"Robert?" he choked on his own breath. His painful sob dying in his throat.

"Cora?" he whispered, so low he could've barely heard himself. What a stupid thing to say.. yet he had to.  
Cora, Cora.. how could it be possible? Was there a chance he wouldn't ever been able to call her name again?

"Oh, dear Robert." the bed bent slightly under Rosamund's weight. She'd settled herself on the edge, sitting next to her brother, rubbing his arm.  
She knew he'd been crying, but she pretend she didn't notice.  
He brother always had been so strong and bold, even when they were little, the proper English lord without the need of showing emotions.  
Cora had changed him. Cora had changed the whole family.  
Rosamund had always silently thanked her for that.

"What is that, Rosamund?" he sniffled discretely, passing his hand over his face to collect all the signs of tears.

"This just arrived." she moved a little bit, waiting for him to take a seat on her side, stretching her neck to peek at the little paper she'd just handed over. "Is it good news?"

Robert didn't answer.

 **Your presence is required.  
Some noticeable developments have occurred.**

 **Please report to S. Bartholomew's Hospital as soon as possible.**

 **Miss Phyllis Baxter is awake.**


	5. Chapter 5 - Found

**NdA: There we go :) I bet everyone was waiting for this moment, uh?  
Read & Review, feedbacks are very important to me; please, if you have any suggestion, share it with me!  
**

Anyhow, I'd like thank you all so much for the interest you've showed so far! Expecialy to the ones who left me a review Tina, witchoesed, Dream of Ragtime, Countess of Cobert & Amiliana Martin.

Sorry for the delay, I'm writing as much as I can ;)  
I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes!

 _Enjoy!_

{spamspamspam: dear Cobert fans, I edited a video named "50 shades of Cobert" you can find it typing that on Youtube. Yes, it is what it looks like ;) because we all know they still have the _terrific fun_ , check it out if you want to!}

* * *

CHAPTER 5 - Found  


It had begun to rain when the car stopped in front of the Hospital.  
Robert had insisted to go there alone, with Molesley of course, because he knew he would not reasoned otherwise: Baxter was awake, his beloved one, the one who had suffered and who was still suffering, the one who had awoke alone in a hospital bed after being shot, the one who was waiting for friendly faces and comfort, instead of questions and pressure, was awake and she needed him.

"Miss Phyllis Baxter." of course they both knew where to find her, yet Robert thought it was better being escorted to her room by some nurse, since he imagined her room filled with doctors or police officers, or both.

"Yes, Lord Grantham." the nurse smiled kindly at him, taking off her glasses, which now hanged on her neck thanks to a gold string running around her neck.  
Robert thought it was a curious item. An item Cora would have worn. "The visiting hours will be over in fifteen minutes." she informed as her heels hit the floor at a regular pace.

"Thank you." he answered politely as the nurse turned back, retracing her own steps.

Robert pushed gently the glassed door, knocking and grasping the handle at the same time. "May we come in?"  
His eyes rushed all over the room, surprised by all the people crowding that little space. He, of course, was expecting some doctors and some police officers, yet he wasn't prepare for the flock of journalists chatting and taking pictures with their cameras, flipping pages after pages after loopy scrabbles. That room was Hell.

"Ah, Lord Grantham!" the doctor approached him as soon as he saw the two standing at the door. "Mr. Molesley." the footman managed to curve his lips into a half smile and he removed his hat.

"Is this really necessary?" Joseph asked in a low voice, after clearing his throat several times "I think Miss Baxter needs some rest?"

The doctor nodded, running his hand through his remaining hair.  
"You're right of course. Yet the police arrived and those vultures of journalist came right after them.. I asked Miss Baxter and she agreed to speak. Actually she recovered really well. She's just very worried about Lady Grantham, that's why.. she wanted to talk to all of them." he explained, raising his voice every now and then to overcome the voices of all the others.

"Can you please send the journalists away?" Robert spoke politely. He was striving to keep his temper: why everyone seemed to reach information before him? And then the visiting hours were about to end soon, certainly he wouldn't have shared those precious moments with strangers when he had to talk about his poor wife. Also Molesley certainly wished to stay alone with her few minutes before going back home.  
Robert calculated all in his mind. "And everyone who's redundant, please. We-" he turned slightly to his loyal footman and sighed "-would like to stay alone with Miss Baxter, if it's possible." the doctor nodded.

"Of course."

* * *

The room was cleared after several minutes. Reporters had to be pulled out with force and the doctors where the last to leave with the police officers.  
Small talks were exchanged with them and Robert, unfortunately, realized that Baxter's information were not very useful.

"You don't have to worry Mr. Molesley, I shall be good soon." Robert turned discretely his eyes to see those two. He couldn't avoid watching them, their hands close to each other's, his fingers brushing dearly on her knuckles as they spoke.

Baxter was a kind person, he knew. She had been very unlucky, but she was kind; maybe as kind as Cora and he didn't blame her for anything, instead he knew that, somehow he should be grateful.

"It's unfair." mumbled Molesley "I can't believe those men are free and- and they have her Ladyship.."

"I know." she cut him off "The police told me." her eyes filled with bitter tears "It's all my fault, I should have done more to bring her out before-" a painful sob escaped her lips and immediately a soft gasp followed.  
Surely her injuries were sore, even if the only visible one was a blue area on her forehead, which she probably hit when she fell after the shot.  
Other than that, with her wound recovering, she seemed a little paler than usual, but active, her eyes bore a determined look that gave Robert a sense of relief.

"Miss Baxter, I beg you to stop." Robert slowly stepped near the bed, settling behind the footman, still sitting with the woman's hand in his "My wife's still missing but I know we'll bring her back home. With your help and the police's. We will do whatever it takes."

The woman nodded and sighed.  
"I told them everything I knew, Lord Grantham. Unfortunately I remember so little." she shut her eyes closed, images of the dreadful moments flashing in her mind "They were two and they had guns. I wanted to call the police.. I- I thought they would have never shot but they did and- that's all. The rest is blurred."

"Thank you so much, Baxter." sniffed Robert, striving to wipe off the lonely tears escaped from his eyes unnoticed.  
Cora must have been so scared.  
How could she ever lived a similar experience without him by her side? It was all his fault. That was his punishment.. yet Cora was paying the highest price.

"Whatever for, Milord?" Phyllis frowned.

"I know you tried to save her." the woman stared back at him, not confirming nor denying it. It was enough as an answer for him. "I owe you."

* * *

Phyllis had been left alone since barely five minutes.

She didn't know what to think, she didn't know what to do, except blaming herself and her luck. She knew that those men came for Lady Grantham, that their plan was kidnapping her from the beginning, but maybe if she hadn't decided to act so foolishly, perhaps she could have remembered more, she could have been more helpful.

She sobbed sheepishly, clenching her left arm on her chest so the wound wouldn't cause any more pain, though she somehow deserved it.  
Lord Grantham had been so kind with her, and Mr. Molesley too. They didn't blame her. They wanted her to be good and Phyllis wanted to be fine to be able to help them, help the police to find her Ladyship, mending the damage she caused.

" _But I have to talk with her!"_ a loud male voice caught her attention, followed by some blurred figures outside the glass door.

" _It's forbidden, sir! You can come tomorrow during the visiting hours, and you need the police's permission!"_ that was one of the nurse's voice.  
Phyllis recognized it.

" _The police?_ "

The figures fussed a little, then the door opened for a moment and she could have a brief sight of the man standing outside.

" _You know who I am?_ " he almost yelled " _Lady Edith sent me! I work for_ the Sketch _! My car broke so I came late!_ "

Phyllis frowned. Lady Edith? Was that some on Lady Edith's reporter came to ask her some questions? Wasn't someone had already came? And why didn't Lord Grantham mentioned it? Maybe he forgot. Poor man, he had so much in mind.

"Louise?" Baxter rose her voice to let them hear.  
Both stopped talking and fussing.  
The nurse peeked into her room with a shy look.

"I'm really sorry, Miss Baxter, I was telling the gentleman to leave but-"

"Let him in." Phyllis encouraged, nodding and smiling "It's all-right."

"Thank you." the male voice said, finally with in polite tone.

Phyllis watched the nurse opening the door with a resentful look and closing it as soon as the man walked in.  
It looked very elegant with his brown frock, thus he had nothing of a journalist to her view.  
He removed his hat, revealing golden locks and two piercing grey eyes.

"I'm really sorry to disturb you, Miss Baxter." he said, approaching the bed and extending his hand so she could shake it. "I suppose you heard everything." he curved his lips into a contrite smile.

"I heard Lady Edith's name." she confessed "I think Lady Grantham mentioning something about talking with some Lady Edith's reporter on the day she-" Phyllis cleared her throat.

"She did?" the man enquired, frowning his brows.

"Yes. But I can't remember anything more." she partially lied "Anyway, I thought that maybe it could have been a good idea to answer questions properly, without a crowd and- and it's Lady Edith's paper." she shrugged her shoulders.

"It's a very good idea." he pointed out with emphasis. They both shared a little chuckle "Lady Edith expressively sent me here to collect information. The family wishes to have their own information and collaborate with the police."

Yes, that made sense. Also, Lord Grantham mentioned something similar, before leaving: they did trust the police, but they wanted to have their own theories too, even to share with the police, to help them.

"It is not for the paper, then?" she asked vaguely, to get her confirm.

"I doubt it, madame." he said. "But she sent me because I tent to ask detailed questions. Details are important, you know?"

"Very well." she sighed, settling more comfortably on the pillows behind her back, her hands folded on her lap "Shall we begin, mr..?"

The man smiled.  
"Loyce. Pearce Loyce."

Yes. That was the same name Lady Grantham mentioned Sunday evening. She'd told the police, they'd wrote down his name. Phyllis believed he had something to do with her disappearing.. since five minutes ago. He couldn't be so idiot to stay in London, show himself around, come to her giving his name so openly if he wasn't innocent, right?

She had to admit it, he was good in asking questions. He kept urging her to relive that night inside her mind and, as a matter of facts, she found more and more details as she carried on on her story.

"And you're absolutely sure you wouldn't be able to recognize them? Or even one of them? Not even their voices?" he asked, his voice encouraging.

The woman shook her head.  
"Unfortunately no. They're nothing more than blurred figures in my mind." she followed his hands as he noted down some doodles.

"That's a pity." he sighed. "When exactly did you get shot?" he tilted his head curiously on one side.

"When I tried to reach the door, I- I wanted to call the police." she said in a low voice: she said that sentence many times and saw those moment in her mind. It hurt every time. It had been a terrible, terrible decision.

"That wasn't a clever move, I must tell you!" a hint of a laughter hit the air; it was irritating and nasal and hardly funny, as it had to sound in his own mind.

Baxter remained silent, yet that word started to spin in her mind 'clever'. Where had she heard that word before? _'I thought you were more clever'._ It was fuzzy and distorted, yet she remembered something. Something from not long ago.  
She needed some time to think about it: maybe she was remembering an important thing. She had to remember, so she could have tell the police and save Lady Grantham. Everything was useful, right?

"Is that all, Mr. Loyce?" she asked politely "It's 7:15." she pointed out, referring to the visiting hours overran by already fifteen minutes.

"Of course! Terribly rude from me." the man apologized and improvised a goofy farewell curtsy "I'll leave you to your rest, Miss Baxter. Thank you so much for your time."

As the reporter left the room, something tickled her nose, a familiar scent, distant, just a hint, but very real to her: lemon verbena.

* * *

 **Lancashire Ct, the black Mallory's abandoned house.  
Come quickly.  
It'll all be gone by Friday – a friend**

"Sir!" the youngest police officer run down the corridor with one and on his hat and the other stretched forward, squeezing a little note in his fingers. He bumped into several other policemen and didn't even bothered to apologize. "Sir!"

It was late at night and his voice echoed all over.  
At the end, his officer pulled him into his office, urging him to lower his voice.

"What it is?" he breathed out, annoyed.

"Sir! This just had been delivered!" the young man offered him the paper.

"It's an anonymous tip." the man hummed.

"For Lady Grantham?" he asked curiously and excited: that could have been his first action as a policeman.

"I think so. We don't have any other open cases at the moment."

"What does it say?"

"Just an address. It's near the park and it mentions Friday." he sighed loudly, a feeling of relief spreading in his chest "This is it. But we don't have much time: the meeting is set for the day after tomorrow at sunset. We must act now." he paused, opening some files "Alert the squads. Raid at the crack of dawn."

* * *

 _16th July (Daybreak)_

Cora was lying on her soiled mattress as always, her back propped on the wall, regardless of the humidity soaking her light, orange robe.  
She threw some crumbs few feet away from her and, tightening her lids, she tried to count as many rats as possible, with their pink tails and legs. She found those animals disgusting, yet they were the only company granted and she shared her food so they could eat that instead of her during the night - dreadful thought that had haunted down since the firsts moments of her permanence.

She coughed, hand pressed on her lips and curved shoulder.  
Cora was expecting someone's scold for being too loud, but only the fast steps of her rat friends made noise, as they ran away through the wall's holes. She gulped down some of the water, forcing herself to swallow despite the horrid taste and smell of it and placed the metallic glass on the ground again.

Cora drew a miserable breath, clenching her throat with her hand as that could help her to defeat the sharp pain she felt every time she ate or drank. She was cold and she felt lethargic, but she tried so hard not to oversleep, afraid that something or someone might take her off guard at some point.

" _We need to get out!_ "

Cora jerked on the spot and her leg, out of control, hit the glass, which toppled down noisily, spreading the water on the ground. She urged to recollect the cup and stretched her back, all ears.

" _What? Did the maid knew something?"_

Cora strived to follow the noises she heard, but she could only guess they were packing things up, rather in hurry.

" _No."_ a long pause " _They decided to tell the police._ " another pause " _I told you it was better to check on the maid._ " he muttered.

Who was the maid they were talking about, Cora didn't know. What she cared about, instead, was that there was someone looking for her! Cora begged to be so. She prayed and pleaded, with her fists on her chest, as she never had before, to be rescued safe and sound, to be taken somewhere nice and warm, with a good hot soup and a blanket.

" _Are they after us?_ "

Cora's heart clenched for a moment. A sense of guilt spread through her body as her mind wished a terrible faith for the both of them: she wished them to be imprisoned for the rest of their life, to be punished severely. Somehow in her heart she knew she had never wished anything bad to anyone in her life, yet now she did.. was it wrong? Was she finding herself again? Or was she loosing her mind even more?

" _Soon I fear._ "

She coughed again and some words went lost.  
She pushed hard her palm to her mouth as some tears escaped her eyes and she tried and tried to stop and listen.

" _You get her, I'll get the_ _nags_ _._ "

Cora instinctively stomped her back closer to the wall and shortly after she heard the lock squeaking open.

"Time to go, sweetheart." she clenched her knees to her chest "You're going to love your new room, trust me." Cora shut her eyes closed when she felt his strong hand grasping her arm, lifting her on her feet with the slightest effort.

"No, no!" she protested loudly "Leave me alone!" she screamed, ignoring the sharp pain in her throat. She tried to squirm away from the man, but his free arm went on her waist, squeezing hard her middle. He left her breathless.

"Shut up! Or I'll-"

" _Someone's here!_ "

Cora felt her captor going stiff when the other man's voice, distant, echoed up to them.  
She knew it was her chance. She just had to hold on a little more, making impossible for them to leave undisturbed with her. They hadn't much time.

"Little devil!" the man yelled, as she strived with all her might to stay in that place she hated so much. Her fingers locked on the door's frame, then on the table, on everything she could find. It wasn't much, of course, but it seemed working.

" _Leave her! We must go, move!_ " the voice echoed again as some other muffled voices, much farther away from them, started to make themselves heard " _We've got no time left! We'll wait for them outside, in here we've got no chance!_ "

The man behind her back grunted.  
"We'll take you back, sweetheart, I promise you." he smacked a kiss on her cheek and left the room.

Cora fought against her own stomach not to throw up.  
Was she free? Was she alone? Was someone really there for her?  
She suddenly felt her knees weak and couldn't prevent to fell on the ground, dragging a chair with her, which unceremoniously laid beside her in the dust.

She couldn't have told how time had passed before some light caught her attention.  
Sparkling dots of yellow light, so distant, flickering nearer and nearer with voices and barking.

"Is there anyone?" Cora raised wearily her chin, striving to focus on the figures approaching. Were they enemies? Were they friends?  
She closed her eyes once more, for few instants, waiting for the figures to be a little closer.

"Ma'am?" she blinked several times before realizing she was looking straight into some man's eyes.  
His hand on her arm didn't hurt, his voice was calm and set, his breath didn't smell. "Are you all-right?"

Cora stood still, without complaining when another man ran to her side to help her on her feet.

"I told you something was wrong here!" a third man, much younger, spoke up. The first man patted his shoulder.

"Good job, boy. Her family will be very thankful, to you and your dog." with the corner of her eye, Cora took a glimpse of the two men's uniform.  
It was the police.  
She was indeed safe.. and thanks to some random kid. She wanted to hug him, to ask him his name, but her breath and voice didn't allow her.

"Ma'am, could you tell us your name?" Cora stood silent again. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't remember it. "Don't worry ma'am, you're safe now."

Cora cried tears of joy, clenching to the officer's arm not to fall on the ground while her limbs felt so weak that they could've just fallen off from her body.  
Was she really free? Was she really safe?

The first light of the dawn greeted her as the small group escorted her outside. She hadn't felt the fresh air in days, it nearly hurt her lungs and it certainly hurt her throat.  
She was so happy and tired that she almost didn't hear the shots that started a quick gunfight.

Why, why now that she was free?  
Weren't those men defeated? Why didn't they leave for good? Why didn't they leave her alone? Why fight back to the police?

Would the officers have been able to keep their promise to rescue her?

* * *

 _16th July (Morning)_

"Papa, papa!" Edith rushed on the stairs, entering the front door in hurry. She almost bumped into the old butler, but she didn't care.  
Her aunt and father were chatting in the library, aunt Rosamund was comforting her papa for sure and he'd been crying again.  
It broke her heart to see him that way.

Yet in her hand stayed a new card from the police. She'd grabbed from the hand of the young police officer on his bike and ran into the house.  
Were those good news or bad news she didn't know and she wanted to find out as soon as possible: she couldn't stand a minute more of all that, with her dear mama lost and her papa suffering all the time.

"What is it, Edith dear?" aunt Rosamund quizzed her first, but Edith bolted straight to her father.

"Papa, there was a policeman on the door, he asked to give this to you right away!" she said, her heart racing in her chest.

Robert's hands was shaking violently as he unfolded the letter.

 **Lord Grantham, please report to the police dispatch.  
We've found your wife.**


	6. Chapter 6 - Forget-me-not

NdA: Hello hello, happy friday :) I'm going to say something at the end because I don't want to spoil anything but now, as usual, I'd like to thank from the bottom of my heart all the silent readers and reviewers who take time to leave a feedback :)  
So, in particular, thank you witchoesed, granthamfan, Amiliana Martin, Countess of Cobert, Dream of Ragtime, Ju, Mr./Mrs Guest, sinceyoufellinlovewithme & xDivashell24x.

Little reminder: I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes!

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 6 – forget-me-not

 _16_ _th_ _July (Noon)_

The traffic had been awful.  
All the Londoners seemed to have taken the decision of going out in that precision day, at the same hour he was suppose to be at the police dispatch, recollecting his beloved wife, taking her back home, away from the horrors she had to go through.

His heart was pumping in his chest, it was racing, both anxious and overwhelmed, disbelieving everything that was happening: was it all true? Was he about to hold his wife again? Was he about to drown into Cora's eyes soon? Was he about to smell her hair, feel the softness of her skin on his own?  
How the police had found her a whole day before the set date, it was a mystery, but frankly he didn't care as long as he could have hold Cora in his arms once again, as soon as possible.

Robert was toying with his hat, torturing the fabric, squeezing the brim with his finger as his eyes rushed restless over the streets, without caring much of the people crowding the shops or the pubs. He was mentally cursing everyone who just decided to jammed the streets when he was heading to his darling Cora.  
He thought he'd be faster walking, yet neither Edith was familiar with that part of London and the last thing he wished for it was getting lost between the suburbs. Loosing precious time wasn't just contemplated.

"Papa, stop fussing like that." giggled Edith, turning his head to him, smiling "Mama is fine now." her lips curled wider as she shifted her gloved hand into her papa's.  
Edith sighed happily when her touch worked like a balm, calming his father's nerves, even for few seconds.

"I know, Edith dear." Robert smiled back. His foot began to shake nervously out of impatience without him even realizing it. "There's so much I want to tell your mama." he sighed, fighting back the tears that threatens to escape the corners of his eyes "I want to hold her and.. kiss her as I should have done the day she left home."

Edith stared at her father completely bewildered. She had never heard her father talk about her mother in such manners, so devotedly and passionately, like a man speaking of his first love.  
She knew mama had been his first and last love, she knew for mama was the same; Edith knew that her parents were in love and that they shared a unique one, especially for people like them, she knew that their story was rare and pure and all she could do about it was to wish for something similar for herself.  
Yet she and her sister had never heard either of their patents talk so openly about love and feelings, even less about lover's kisses and holds, and maybe for the first time in her life she had the proof that showing feelings, even for an English man or woman, wasn't something to avoid or a sign of weakness, but the precise opposite of that.  
Both of her parents drew their strength from one another, just like flowers absorbed their lives from the sunbeams.  
All the hands holding when they thought no one was watching, every quick stroke of fingers, every glance, every smile had been made for a reason and only then Edith had realized.

"We should be close to mama by now." she smile sympathetically, herself anxious to see her mother again.  
Her papa had suffered so much and yet who better than her could have ever understand? She'd lost her love so many times she'd lost count.

"Edith?" her father was looking back right in her eyes, squeezing her hand dearly.

"Yes, papa?" asked puzzled the blonde.

"I owe you an apology." he nodded when his daughter asked him silently why "I didn't want to call the police. I can't even imagine what would have happened if I hadn't listened to you."

"But you did, papa." she tilted her heard. She resembled her mother so much when she did that. They hugged close. "And everything's going to be fine."

* * *

Edith's hand was securely gripped into his father's. She felt like a child again, when her mother walked her and her sisters to the village's annual fair and her hand was the only thing that prevented her from losing inside the crowd.  
Back then, she was afraid of those people yelling and running around, all strangers to her eyes, so tall, big and dangerous, and now she was afraid of her hopes being smashed like glass. She was afraid of her mother being hurt or sick or frightened; that rock that had been strong and invincible to her eyes turned into a common human being, she was afraid of seeing sufferance in her glance, Edith was afraid of everything she might have to witness.

And she couldn't help but thinking that if she was afraid of all that, her papa must have been petrified.  
Could he bore the sight of his wife's distress? What if she was physically hurt, what would he have done? What if he got angry? What if the police also found the criminals involved, would he have stayed calm? What if he decided to get his revenge toward them? What if he killed those men? What mama would have thought?  
What if mama was still mad at him?

Edith hardly believed so, since they never stayed angry for long time, and usually they faked they anger even when they had already forgiven the other, just out of pride, still, that possibility was real.  
What if mama blamed papa for what had happened?

In her mind, however, she pictured them running into each other's embrace, crying happy tears, telling how much they loved one another; she imagined his father stroking her mother's hair dearly, placing countless kisses on her forehead as mama's fingers clasped his arms, wrinkling the fabric with eagerness.  
She would have watched the scene with watery eyes and then her mother would have called for her and she would have joined them, holding them close, sailing the end of that dreadful adventure.

That was her dream, her hope and it was going to happen soon, very soon.

She smiled instinctively when the police officer approached them with his hat under his arm.  
Robert gripped harder his daughter's hand without even realizing it. Edith did the same.

"Lord Grantham, Milady." he greeted them, smiling with pride and happiness. "Lady Grantham is in my office, we thought she'd like to stay somewhere more quite."

Robert realized only then of the loud noise all around the dispatch: men yelling at phones, others running with papers, others more dealing with common people, from the one who claimed to be robbed to the ones who complained about costumers who didn't paid for some services.

"I don't know how to thank you properly, officer." mumbled Robert, his head filled with emotions and impatience for the incoming reunion with Cora.

"There's no need, Lord Grantham." he shook his hand "It's our job. A husband and wife reunited at last is enough as compensation, believe me."

Robert nodded, striving not to burst into tears.

"Can we see mama?" asked Edith, unable to hide her longing to see her mother again.

"Of course." the man nodded, gesturing them to follow him toward the left corridor leading to a darker area of the dispatch.

"Is she fine?" she dared to enquire.  
She knew her father would have never asked that question, too afraid of the answer she might had.  
However, Edith wanted and needed to be prepared. Maybe her papa would have been more ready himself.

"I'd say so. Even if she was kept in a horrible basement of an abandoned house.. she's very upset but nothing permanent." he sighed sharply "I firmly believe so." he stopped all of a sudden just to smile back to them "You'll judge yourself."

Step after step, they both realized they were leaving the crowd behind them. It was a relief for the ears.  
Also, that peace, that silence, interrupted only by their heels hitting the floor, gave to the all matter a glimmering halo of holiness, almost as if the entire world was preparing for that reunion. At least, for Robert it was so.

When the officer's door came to sight, distance between him and that door seemed awfully big.  
He walked and walked, yet time had frozen, keeping him away from his wife, his long yearned wife, his beautiful Cora, his world, his home, his love.

The door clicked open and he almost flew in, like his feet couldn't touched the floor for how much joy was in his body.

Robert tried to speak and yet no word came out when his eyes laid on the graceful figure sat on a chair, showing him its back.  
She had her chocolate hair down, loosely tied up in a messy braid, her shoulders were covered by an officer's black jacket, and she was slightly trembling.

"Cora?" he said just above breath.

When her blue eyes met him, his heard skipped a beat.

And it stopped when his gazed dropped on her nose, her lips, her neck.  
How could it be?

"This is not my wife." he stated blankly.  
His heart filled up with disappointment, all his hopes crushing down in thousands of pieces. He felt miserable, desperate.

Robert did not listen to Edith confirming what he'd said, he didn't listen to the officer's mumbling and pity excuses and his telling theories of what it might had gone wrong.  
He only could hear his inner voices telling him that Cora was once again gone missing, that she was alone, afraid and maybe hurt, in thrall to her captors and he couldn't do anything but waiting and hope and pray.

Robert rushed outside the building, deaf to all the people calling him back, was is the officer or his own daughter it didn't matter, he just wanted to run away from that awful place. Walls bending down over him, the corridor becoming more and more tight, people's voices stuffing his head.

Why, why was is all happening to him? Why life had to be so cruel?

Was Cora safe? Would she ever have been safe again?

The crowd of London welcomed him as the dispatch door closed behind his back. The cool air, despite it was July, was a balm to his lungs, burning with anger and sadness.

Was is that some kind of an evil joke?

He rested his shoulders on the external white wall of the building, breathing deeply with his eyes closed. His lids were flickering with multiple shades of orange and his ears were listening to all the different sounds around him: merchants promoting their items, people calling friends from the alleys, the cars running down the streets, the horses and carriages and the whips flashing through the air.

Robert pressed his palms to the white stones, hiding his face to the world. Was he going to cry? Like the most common man?  
He clenched his jaw, focusing on Cora, his lovely Cora who needed his help, his strength for a little longer. Just a day more.

"Flowers! Flowers!" he heard the voice of an old woman approaching from his right side.  
Robert turned slightly his head toward that lady, blinking lonely tears away as he spied her movements from under his own arm. He closed his eyes "Flowers!"

Robert felt someone tapping on his shoulder.  
He turned around slowly, meeting the wrinkled face of her. She was smiling with her thin lips and big brown eyes, dark and yet shaded like the forest in autumn "Flowers?" she asked again, yet Robert realized it wasn't a question after all.

She stretched her knotted hand and he did the same, without even realizing it.  
He hadn't even had the chance to thank her, for she continued to walk down the streets right after, like nothing had happened.

Robert sniffed, opening carefully his fist. At the sight of those delicate, blue, little flowers, he couldn't prevented the tears that started to roll down his cheeks: forget-me-not.  
The flower he gave Cora the first time they met.

* * *

 _22_ _nd_ _March 1889_

 _He was standing in the center of his room, his eyes closed and his arms stretched out.  
His valet was finishing his preparation, closing up the silver buttons of one of his finest day frock._

 _Robert couldn't believe at his misfortune: his home, his father's estate was going through some severe financial troubles and he was the only one who could saved everything. He didn't like the task, he didn't like the task at all since he needed a wife with a significant dowry, since he needed to marry and he just entered his twenties._  
 _His plans of visiting the world, travelling in Europe, finding love, all shattered dreams now, that his life was made by evening parties and Sundays picnics and tea and cricket and endless chats with ladies who weren't bearable for more than five minutes._  
 _He belonged there. That was his world and yet he just couldn't fit._  
 _Robert hadn't had any purpose. He was tired, demotivated, but his feelings didn't matter. He had the duty of saving his home and family's reputation._  
 _Mama and papa expected anything less from him._  
 _He didn't choose to be born into the vests of an English lord, with responsibilities and duties and yet he was an English lord, the son of a Count and the whole world was relying on him; not to talk about the ladies just presented to court, all selling themselves to him, waving their fortune under his nose, asking just for a ring and a title in return._

 _Robert felt breathless, like the walls were collapsing over him. And the afternoon hadn't started yet._

" _Is it all milord?"_

 _Robert slipped a finger between his throat and the collar trying to ease that suffocating pain, without much success._

" _Yes, thank you." he whispered, taking a good look of himself in the mirror.  
He seemed the same old boy, impatient to see the wonders of the world, yearning for adventure and love. Nothing was left of him anymore, since he decided to lock all those dreams in a secret part of his heart. 'Maybe one day', he kept repeating himself, maybe one day he would have been able to found that boy again._

" _Are you ready, son?" he turned smoothly when he heard his father calling from the door._

 _Robert nodded._  
" _Yes, I am, father." he approached him and the older man took some time to adjust the jacket on his shoulders._

" _It's Lady Judith's nosh before her coming-out ball. You remember her, don't you?" Robert sighed and nodded._

" _I do remember her." he knew deep in his heart that his parents wanted him to chose Lady Judith. She was quite good-looking, she was rich and she was just had been presented to court: she was the perfect match for him and yet, beside duties, he didn't see anything in that girl.  
And even if she was interesting, somehow, he couldn't see anything of it.  
The truth was that he was tired. So terribly tired of all that.  
Of his mother reminding him about this or that girls, attending to all the parties, barely sleeping at night for the early fox hunting and the endless dancing and greetings and all those names that had to be remembered, all those girls' fake laughs and irritating chirping.  
Was his life about to be like that forever?_

" _What do you think of her?" Patrick enquired, taking a slow step down the stairs, leading the pace of their awfully slow walk._

" _She's fine." he replied vaguely._

" _You could invite her for tea, sometimes. Or for a walk in the gardens." he kept going "You sister said she's a lovely girl and they're good friends." Robert felt the weak grasp of his father on his arm. Their eyes met. "Would you consider it, Robert?"_

" _I will, father." he stated sincerely. He knew that they needed a match soon, to be optimistic by the end of the month, so he could have got married by the beginning of next year. He didn't have much time left to toy around._

" _Good." Patrick dared to smile "Try to get some fun, son. It's just a picnic after all."_

 _Robert nodded. His father was right, of course and yet he knew that even the most innocent tea invitation had nothing innocent in it: in his world, among those people, everything had a second purpose._

 _So there he was, few hours later, at the De Winter's estate, attending to Lady Judith's nosh, feeling his entire world collapsing above him, while he could see his life being settled down without him not having the chance to say a thing._  
" _..And then papa bought me this dress!" Robert startled a little at the high note in Lady Judith's voice. He wasn't pay much attention to her mumbling about her latest purchases, barely focusing on the path they were following toward the lake.  
He found irritating her voice, that day much more than the other days and he found irritating her grasp on his arm as she reached for support during their stroll.  
He couldn't stand that poor girl for half an hour, not that she had done something wrong, but how could he ever stand her for a lifetime?  
Their families would have been terribly disappointed._

" _It's very lovely on you." he lied, striving to keep his smile as that horrible ecru dress swept the ground behind them._

" _Thank you, Viscount."  
He stared blankly at her when she attempted to blink gracefully her lashes. It was blatant that she had been practising the art of seduction as it was blatant her inexperience.  
Robert thought it was the most weird and ugly look he'd ever seen.  
He felt like a monster. What did that poor girl do to him? Did she deserve that treatment from him? What rights did he have? Could he afforded being picky? Among all the girls interested, she was definitely the most pretty one, and she was young, certainly with the years she would have changed.  
Oh, he needed a break. Was that what his life would look like in the years to come? That was it?_

" _Lady Judith, would you like me to take you some drinks? It seems a warm day." he proposed politely, leading her toward a bench under the shadow of a large tree._

 _The girl nodded happily, waiving her fan, maybe too harshly, to hide partially her face and, theoretically, her blushed cheeks._

 _Robert took a bow and returned back to the little tents that kept from the sun the tons of food and drinks prepared for the occasion.  
He decided he knew too much about the feminine world, he knew too much about how a proper lady should have behaved and his knowledge made him a little too selective in his choice. Damn Rosamund and her lessons.  
Maybe if he would have been more ignorant about the whole matter, he would have picked a girl long time ago._

" _What would you like, sir?" the footman enquired and Robert laid his eyes on the plates. What would Lady Judith have liked?_

" _Two cups of tea, please." he said, deciding that the safest option was also the best one._

 _He was about to collect what he'd asked, when his eyes took a glimpse of a figure running toward the mason's gardens.  
He was sure it was a girl running, maybe she was upset, maybe one of the younger lord bad behaved and offended her, maybe some other girl teased her because she was one of those dollar princesses from America, because he couldn't remember he'd seen her before in his life.  
He would have surely remembered her._

 _Robert felt the uncontrollable impulse to follow her, even just to verify that she was fine; after all, all those years comforting Rosamund from mama's critiques could have been useful for someone else._

 _He peeked curiously around the gardens which were unusually empty: no loud chuckles from couples hidden between the jasmine's brushes, no talking, just the fountains murmurs in distance. Where was she?  
After all, that light turquoise dress she was wearing, couldn't have gone unnoticed. _

_Robert followed one of the paths toward the labyrinth and just before entering, that was the time he'd heard a soft sobbing coming from behind one of the entrance's marble statue._

" _Miss?" he whispered shyly, stepping near her as a corner of her blue dress popped out from the statue's base. "Are you all-right?"_

" _Oh." the girl offered him her back, trying to hide more her face as she strived to stop her weeping.  
Even from behind, Robert had a good look of her gracious bare shoulders, her ivory back, protected from the sunbeams just by a translucent shawl, her dark locks resting on her shoulders, combed so unusually for a lady, with a little chignon on the top of her head and the remaining hair down, curled and shiny.  
She had a straw large hat in her hand.  
_

 _Robert bet her face was lovely._

" _What is the matter?" he dared to raise his hand and place it on her shoulder. He felt a flicker on his palm at the contact with her warm skin "It can't be that bad." he stated with a smile, well noticeable by his voice._

 _The girl froze on the spot and, after few seconds, she turned to face him._

 _He'd been right. Her face was indeed lovely, and so much more: her eyes were like two pieces of sky, like two diamonds flickering, two stars stolen from the night, despite the redness and her tears still on her lashes like dew on a petal; her lips so pink and full, her neck long and elegant. She was breathtaking._

" _My apologies." she sniffed._

 _Robert smiled tenderly at her, digging his fingers into his pocket to offer her his handkerchief. Her fingers were so slender and so soft when they touched his._  
" _No need, miss..?"_

" _Levinson." she answered, her voice a little raspy.  
He watched as her tongue moistened her lips. "Cora Levinson." she added, folding back up the handkerchief and handing it to him. _

_Robert shook his head._  
" _Keep it."_

 _The girl stared blankly at him, tracing the letters knitted on the soft fabric with her fingertips. "R. C." was she supposed to recognize those letter?_

" _I must look like a crazy American girl." she chuckled, toying with the corners of the silky item._

" _You look like a beautiful American girl." he replied swiftly._

 _Her cheeks turned immediately red and her eyes lowered right after, blinking with smoothness. She made it all look so natural he think she might not had to learn those things at all._

" _Not all your friends appreciate oversea girls." she tilted her head on one side and her blue eyes met once again his. The sun glimmered in her pupils._

" _They're fools, then." he smiled sympathetically and offered her his arm._

 _She seemed rather reluctant at first, but then her fingers slipped under his elbow and she took a step out from her hidden spot._

 _Robert couldn't help but thought she was more beautiful at every little thing she slowly revealed; she was a treasure yet to be discovered and she was charming and fascinating. He thought that her promised groom must have been a very lucky guy.. he didn't dare to ask her, not to burst into jealousy and into useless competition, she surely had someone after her hand, despite the distrusts about her origins._

" _You didn't tell me your name yet." her sweet voice caught his attention. It had the melodious notes of a harp in an empty room._

" _Robert Crawley." he said with a smile, leading the pace of their peaceful stroll around the main fountain._

" _Well then, thank you, Robert Crawley." she repeated.  
Her accent caressed every letter of his name and Robert's heart skipped a beat.  
If he could have chosen a voice to call his name for the rest of his life, he would have chosen hers._

" _Will you stay for Lady Judith's coming-out ball tonight?"_

 _Cora nodded, tightening her grasp on his arm without even realizing it._  
" _Of course."_

" _Will you dance with me.. once?" he asked and in a flash he remembered his father, his mother, what they would have said, lady Judith, him promising her all the waltz, her jealous tears shw would have cried and he.. he should have felt bad and guilty on that prospective, yet, he felt only happy and proud and he would have felt even happier and more proud if she'd said 'yes'._

" _I would be honoured." she answered and his stomach turned in excitement "But I need a promise. You could retreat. Aren't you suppose to dance with lady Judith?" she had a sly expression on her face which made her even cuter, if possible._

" _Guilty." he chuckled. "But I won't." he confessed. "It's what everyone expects from me. But I want to do one thing just for me. Call me selfish." he giggled and bent down and picked up a small blue flower, placing it onto her fair palm, touching her fingers to urge her to close he fist._

" _This is my promise, miss Levinson." he stated, moving slightly away from her._

" _Forgert-me-not?" she enquired._

 _He nodded, touching his hat to greet her goodbye._  
" _See you tonight. Don't forget me."_

" _I won't."_

* * *

Pleasedon'tkillmeIloveyouall.  
So, _my_ canon is that Cora and Robert's flower is the "forget-me-not" because it reminds me of Elizabeth's eyes, so I wanted to give a little flashback about it, adding something important that you'll notice in the future, maybe?  
Anyway, thank you so much, I'll see you in two weeks (I've got exams, I'm sorry ç_ç), enjoy your summer guys!


	7. Chapter 7 - Broken clock

NdA: I'm sorry I'm sorry, that was a deadful period of exams and it's still not over.. until next week. Forgive me for the lack of updates!  
Nonetheless I tried to write a little in my spare time so in the future I'll publish more often (hopefully).

I'd like to thank from the bottom of my heart all the readers, in particular the one who reviewed the previous chapter: Countess of Cobert, witchoesed, Downtonix, Dream of Ragtime, eyeon, sinceyoufellinlovewithme & Ju. Your interest give me motivation!

[I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes!]

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 7 – Broken Clock

 _16_ _th_ _July (Early Afternoon)_

Edith's heart broke a little more at the sight of her papa doubled over in misery against the wall of the building.

He had his hands resting on the stone, his chin touched his chest and all his body was shaking through vigorous sobs.  
He seemed an old man cracked under the weight of life, all his joy faded away within a few seconds, his strength forgotten, his mask fallen off.

Edith looked at her father like it was the first time: as a child, he had been her hero, with his uniform and his world of duties far away from hers, as a girl, her father had been the symbol of the perfect man, always caring for his wife and children, always strong and wise, always knowing the best thing to do and he had been that her all life but now.. now she felt like the torch had been passed, and no one had cared to ask her first if she wanted it or not.

She felt the woman in charge. It all had changed in a blink of an eye.  
The feeling was frightening and yet so empowering; was that the way her mother felt every day? Whether or not the whole matter would have turned out for the best or the worst, now it would have been thanks to her decision. That was the meaning of being a true adult.  
Her mother's life was basically in her hand, in hers and Mary's, working on the other side to make sure everything would have been all right. Were they a team, with Tom, now? Just about few years ago, she would have believed that impossible.

"Papa.." she called him shyly, afraid that being seen like that would have embarrassed him. It was like she'd never talked to her papa before.  
Edith stepped closer, carefully, trying not to listen to his fathers soft whimper for she would have burst into tears herself. She'd just lost her dear mama for the second time and now she was looking at her father, broke and defeated like never before.  
And she would have had to call Mary to tell her that they did in fact not find their mother. But Mary surely wouldn't have loosened her temper of course, she would have remained cold and pragmatic like always, which made the task a little easier.

"Papa, we should go back inside.." she tried again, sighing heavily, placing her hand over his father's shoulder.

Robert startled, turning his back to her so he could've wipe away the tears still rolling down his cheeks.  
"I don't what to go back inside." he choked up.

"Papa, if that woman is not mama.." she started, clenching her jaw not to let her own tears escaping her lashes. "Tomorrow is the meeting day. Nothing changed."

"Do you really believe it'll be over by tomorrow?" he turned sharply to face her, his red eyes pierced Edith's soul. She knew her father didn't mean to be harsh or demotivated but she knew also that he couldn't help himself. As a matter of fact, she was a little hopeless herself, yet, nothing had had supposed to be happening before tomorrow, that dreadful, unplanned course of event had to be erased from their memories.  
Hope was the key, up until tomorrow.

"We have to believe so, papa." she gave him a sweet smile. "Mama is waiting for us. We have to bite the bullet a little longer."

"Among the three, Edith, you're the last of my children from whom I expected to hear a speech about hope and biting bullets." he sniffed, curling his lips into a half smile.

Edith let out a brief chuckle and nodded.  
"I've leaned a lot, papa, thanks to you and mama."

Robert took her hand in his, rubbing dearly her pale skin.  
"Do you miss her?" he asked, maybe not to feel entirely alone when everybody were busy making plans and hoping while he was crying and thinking and remembering tirelessly his wife.

"More than ever." Edith answered in a low voice "I come here in London quite often, and I stay away from Downton and from all of you for quite some time.. and I miss you always very much. But now it's different."

"I know." he agreed. Knowing someone in a safe place, even far away from home, is a balm for every worrying soul; yet Cora was lost, among evil people and the thoughts of the thing she might had to go through were a torture. Did it make a real difference? A day or a couple of hours?

"But tomorrow she'll be home, for real." she slipped her arm beneath his father's, giving him a hopeful smile and a comforting squeeze.

"You know, Edith dear, I thought you resembled you mother very little. I thought you would become like Granny or Aunt Rosamund.. independent, sharp, resourceful and now you're here supporting me, giving me hope.. just like your mother would do." Robert patted her hand as they walked once again toward the entrance. "You look like your mama very much now."

Edith struggled not to show his father that she was indeed moved by those words. In all her life, she wanted to be like her mother, kind and compassionate, but somehow every time she'd tried, something had happened, preventing her to succeed.  
Hearing her father saying she looked like her dear mama, was the best compliment she could've ever received. Her heart warmed up, despite everything else.

"Thank you papa."

"Here." he stopped, right before the big doors of the dispatch "Take this." he worked for few second on her brooch, settled in the centre of her chest, right beneath the wide white collar, and he framed the little blue flowers in it.

Edith recognized the flower right away and all she could do was smiling, glimmering eyes, happy tears hanging from her lashes.  
"Mama is waiting for us." she stated "We'll bring her home.. we have to wait just a little more."

* * *

"How could this happen?" Robert asked quite furiously although he was striving to keep his temper, that task was definitely very difficult. "Mistaken a woman like Cora with.. _her."_ he pointed out, careful not to hurt the poor woman's feeling.

She had indeed dark locks, she had indeed blue eyes and she was indeed quite tall, more or less like Cora, but she was _not_ Cora.  
Her hands were not soft nor white, her neck wasn't elegant nor graceful, her features weren't delicate, her skin wasn't pearly, her eyes were not gentle nor loving.  
She was beautiful, but she was not Cora.

"I'm terribly dismayed, Lord Grantham.." mumbled the officer "You only showed us a picture of Lady Grantham in her twenties and.." he sighed sharply "We did our best."

"You clearly failed!" blurted out Robert, and only the brief brush of Edith's fingers on his arm prevented him to go further.

It was true, though, that he didn't think of bringing a recent photo of Cora with him, nor did Edith, no one had thought of that. He only had few photos in his wallet, as an old habit inherited from his father, and the all of them were group shot except for one: the first pictured him and his parents just before Patrick died, the second was of Cora with the girls as toddlers and the last with his grandchildren near their ponies. The only sharpen picture of Cora and Cora only was one of the their wedding day and she was so beautiful and young with her white dress. Apparently it hadn't been helpful for the purpose. "Is this changes something?"

"I doubt it, Lord Grantham." the police officer walked toward the room as the unidentified woman was escorted outside into another place.

The man showed him the little piece of paper on which the tip had been written. "It was anonymous and it mentioned Friday." he explained "At first, we only found an illegal liquor distribution and a small hall for gaming. It was an abandoned house and in the upper floor.. well.. women weren't treated very good and they were captured. We requestioned everything, imprisoned the owners and of course freed the women."

Robert felt sick all of the sudden. He was so happy that Cora hadn't been in that dreadful horror house and yet she could have been somewhere worse; bad things happened behind every corner and his wife would have been in the hands of criminals until tomorrow. What sufferings did she have to go through?  
The only thought of someone daring to touch her skin made him shiver, his blood boil, his stomach turn.

"What about that lady?" he managed to whisper, his eyes shut.

"She seemed the finest among the others and she matched the description.. and she was- she _is_ , very upset therefore she doesn't talk."

"No one is looking for her?" asked Edith just above breath.  
The poor woman in the other room was frightened to death and hadn't no family to comfort her.  
Was her mama terrified? Was her mother silent too, scared to talk?

"For the moment, no one asked for her." the officer said sadly.

A long moment of silence followed.

"What are we going to do, then?" her voice was firm again. She needed a little of the pragmatic vibe of her sister Mary. She was going to absorb and use every tiny bit of her family's vibes as long as it was needed, from the scepticism of Granny to the kindness of mama, from the pratical way of thinking of Mary to the adaptability of Tom, and from herself, she needed to bring out her experience and her resourcefulness. Edith was determined to play her part at the best of her ability.  
She wanted her mama back and she wanted also the best chance they had, with everything settled for the worst scenario, in case the meeting wouldn't have gone as predicted. She would have asked for everything and she would have obtained everything, well, that was her grandmother Martha coming out.

"We stick to the plan." the man answered "Lord Grantham will go tomorrow at the park entrance with the sovereigns and a whole police team will supervise dressed as common people. The most important thing is not to scare them away. We only have one shot." he stated with the voice of someone used to command.

"Is it the best we can do, officer?" Robert enquired, his fist pressed against his lips.

"It is, Lord Grantham." he nodded "But I can assure you that it's very successful. Most of the criminals are blinded by gold and they get distracted. Very often we capture them and save all the money too."

"I don't care about the money, I just want my wife back." he whispered firmly.

"I want Lady Grantham back to safety as much as you do, Lord Grantham. I assure you we'll do our best."

* * *

 _17th June (Afternoon)_

" _How's papa?_ " the muffled voice of Mary reached her ear after few seconds.

Her fingers tightened around the phone.  
"I think he didn't sleep at all." Edith answered, turning her back to the sitting room, in which her father and aunt Rosamund were sipping tea in a deadly silence "Actually I didn't sleep neither."

" _Of course._ " came the flat the reply. " _The house has been awake all night too._ "

Edith smiled a little: she knew that was the only hint she would have received about her sister's lack of sleep and worrying state of mind.  
"We're all dressed up since this morning and we went to visit Baxter. She's very nervous too, I think she feels guilty."

Mary didn't speak for few minutes. As a matter of fact, Edith was the first to be surprised by her will to talk to her sister, but after all, it was a good excuse to kill time.

" _How's she?_ " she enquired with a little sigh.

"Better. They wanted to keep her in for a couple of days more but then she'll be free to go."

" _Good_." she made her tongue click " _So, is it everything settled_?"

"Yes. The police will be there trying to catch those men." her voice trembled.

" _It all seems rather on the line._ " commented Mary, her sister nodded, closing her eyes.

"I know. It's all about luck on that, but at least everybody is sure that we'll get mama back." she drew a sharp breath "Mary, we can't tell that to papa what we think." she warned, lowering her voice and bending over her shoulder.

" _I agree_." Mary nodded " _Granny's here. She's complaining, stressing everyone out because she doesn't get enough information._ " she left out a soft chuckle, and the thought made Edith smile too.

"I'm sorry Mary, but we know very little ourself." she sighed "Anyway, I'll phone you as soon as we get back home with mama."

" _All-right_."

A long pause.  
They both were smiling unseen.  
Odd as it seemed, that was their very first quiet talk, the very first talk as sister perhaps.. and they'd needed all that to get there.

"I must go now. We need to go to the police first."

" _Sure. Be careful, the both of you. Goodbye, Edith_."

"Goodbye, Mary."

" _Oh and- Edith..?_ "

"Yes?"

" _Kiss mama for me._ "

* * *

 _17th June (Evening, 18:45)_

Robert was pacing nervously at the entrance of the park.

It was still early, but he'd requested to arrive there at least half an hours before the meeting: for sure he didn't want to be late and miss his only chance to get his wife back.  
He childishly insisted in wearing his finest day frock, a steel blue one, Cora's favourite. He wanted to look at his best for the first reunion with her, he wanted to look in her eyes and hold her to make her feel safe again, he wanted to see her smile and her glimmering eyes.

But now he realized that maybe those men would have approached him alone, asked for the money and only then showed him Cora. Strategically thinking, that what a smart man would have done, including himself, and those men must have been smart for sure, to succeed in kidnapping a woman like Cora, hurting Baxter and, most of all, entering a house like theirs at the perfect time to hit the jackpot.

Robert stroked mindlessly the little bag he hanged on his belt, hidden under his jacket, making the coins clink at every step. He'd spent so many minutes counting them, twice, with the police officer, Edith and the banker who suspiciously provided all the three hundreds golden sovereigns early that morning.

It was all settled and his heart was pumping painfully in his chest.

He carefully eyed all the policemen he knew were there, perfectly blended with the crowd and common people and kids enjoying a pacific stroll in the park: the two behind him reading their paper, the one with wife and son feeding the pigeons, the other three pretending to play cards on the bench and with the corner of the eye he glanced quickly at the car parked at the end of the block, barely visible, in which the officer in charge was supervising the whole thing with Edith safely seated on the back.  
It had been a precaution, because in that case, if something would have gone wrong, the other members of the family could've been the favoured targets and Robert was already in the front line, dangerously exposed to practically everything.

But what if the action would have gone wrong? What about all those innocent people? All the kids and the family returning home after a walk with their beloved ones? What if they would have set off a gunfight? What if someone would have got killed? What if they'd hurt Cora for some sort of revenge?

Things must have gone as planned.

He didn't want anyone to be hurt in vain, most of all the children and the unaware citizens. They could've been warned and yet, that lack of common people would have certainly alarmed the kidnappers. What would they have thought if they had known? Would they have agreed?

The truth was, everything was worth it, for Cora, because for him, Cora was everything.

But what about those others? The one who didn't even know Cora, would have they risk their own lives for her? Did he had the right to put them all in danger? What would Cora have said?

Robert jerked awkwardly when the bell tower of St. James Church stroke the seven, few blocks away, with a soft sound, summoning all the people for the last function of the evening.

It was time.

Robert held his breath, staring nervously at everyone approaching to him, stepping beside him and passing him over, every time, like he was a rock in the middle of the river, bypassed by the water with the minimum effort.  
He felt thousands of tiny beads of sweat on his forehead, on his neck, tediously dropping under his collar, making him shiver, out of distress and discomfort, anxiety and eagerness.

What took so long? Where were they?

Robert felt tears of frustration stinging his eyes as the time passed. Sunset was on the horizon now and the voices crowding the paths of the park seemed fewer and fewer.

He searched again, behind every tree, every statue, begging the under-cover agents to step back because maybe they'd scared the kidnappers away, running up and down the small passage that went from the entrance's gates from the first fountain, analysing every suspicious face, every man or woman with their hat covering their eyes, every figure who walked too slow or too fast in every direction.

His head was spinning, he felt his heart in his throat.  
What had gone wrong? What did he do?  
He turned sharply, panting, asking silently for help to the nearer officer.

"What time is it?" he enquired, his mouth dry.

"Twenty past seven, sir." he replied sadly.

They were still playing their part, but the both of them well knew it was useless.

Robert thanked him with a small nod, before returning to watch all the bystanders, the distant ones and the close ones, some of which returned a weird, puzzled look.

He swallowed hard, fighting back the tears, pacing nervously around the fountain, his eyes lost, running everywhere.  
He could only think about Cora. Why wasn't she there? Why it was all so difficult? Was she all-right?

* * *

Edith stared at the blurry figure of her father with her watery eyes, her slender fingers clenching at the seat before her.

She desperately wanted to ask the officer with her what took so long, why her mama wasn't there, why the kidnapped didn't reclaim their money yet, why everything seemed awfully normal out there and not even a bullet had been shot, from either part.  
She sighed anxiously, biting her bottom lips as a man, commonly dressed, approached the car, removing his dirty hat to reveal perfect polish hair.

"Nothing?" the captain asked.

The other just shook his head.

"What's happening?" breathed Edith, grabbing the officer's arm with strength as he opened the car door.

"They didn't show up." he answered concisely, wearing his hat.  
The man walked slightly back to let her out and then urged her to follow him toward the park.

"What are you doing?" Edith strived to walk beside him. Her sight was blurred, her heart was pumping painfully and her mind was overwhelmed by sadness and frustration and, above all, disappointment.  
All her hope, dreams, all the time spent imagining that scene, holding her mother again, smelling her perfume and feeling safe like a child, all that, shattered. Blown away like a pile of ashes at the wind. "You'll scare them away!" she cried, sniffing, bouncing her sight from her father to the officer.

He didn't answer, walking even faster to reach Robert, who was still pacing nervously up and down the small path.  
The officer stepped closer to him, placing the hand on his shoulder to make him stop.

When he turned, Robert's eyes were on fire.

"What are you doing?" he blurted out, furiously. He'd used the same word of his daughter and yet they seemed so differently. "What are you _all_ doing?" he enquired when he noticed the other agents leaving their fake activities to gather around him.

"They didn't come, Lord Grantham." the captain said. His voice low and flat.

The soft whimpering of his daughter, proving that all he was saying was true, broke his heart completely.

"No. _No_!" he yelled, tears rolling down his reddened cheeks "Get back to your positions!" he pointed out some benches "We still have time! They're here, you'll scared them away! Cora-"

"Papa!"  
Edith clenched to his arm with all her might. Shaking and sobbing over his shoulder as she attempted to hold him to comfort him and herself.  
She hated that situation, that dreadful fate that rose up their hopes only to crush them the minute after. She hated everyone because they seemed incapable of bringing her mama back, she hated herself for being so powerless and she hated that love they shared because it was their weakness, preventing them from thinking straight.

"It doesn't make any sense." a stranger's voice rose up from the silence; it belonged to a young officer with a pair of fake moustache on his upper lips and a folded paper in his hand. "Those bastards never give up a bag full of money." he commented shyly.

"He's right." the captain agreed. "Something must have happened."

"Something?" Robert's voice trembled "Something like what?"

"Like loosing their trade good." he stated severely.

Robert and Edith shared a puzzled glance. That meant that maybe Cora escaped? That maybe she was free?

"Are you positively sure?" he enquired Robert, holding tightly her daughter. That was the first good news in days, the first that maybe had proves, that maybe gave them real hopes.

"It's the only reason I can think for not showing up." the man dared to curved his lips into a half smile.

"Well, but- she must be somewhere." breathed Edith, parting reluctantly from her father's embrace.

"As soon as we get back to the police station, I'll phone every London dispatch and every hospital to see if there is any unconscious woman that matches the description." he declared proudly, spreading a positive vibe among all the officers, who began to smile, proposing things and activities to optimize the searchings.

"Mama is strong." pointed out Edith, her mind running wild along the others "Now it's clearly a race against time. They- the kidnappers could be after her too. Mama's clever if she ran away she could still be outside, somewhere." she drew a sharp breath, wiping the tears away "We must let her know that we're seeking for her. We must let _all London_ we're seeking for her, also we might discourage those criminals if they're looking for her."

"All-right." the officer nodded "It what I was thinking about. We need to make this big."

Edith smiled, turning to Robert.

"Trust me, papa. We'll find her." her eyes glimmered "The papers will be our weapon. I'll phone Mary to get one picture of mama, she'll ship it to us with the night train and the special edition of _The Sketch_ will be released tomorrow morning.. soon the others will follow."

"I do trust you, Edith dear." he sighed, smiling melancholy. "It's your field."  
His daughter had grown so much in the last years, he almost didn't noticed. He was proud of her, truly proud of her and now that her passion and her job could've been the key to the finding of his wife, he couldn't have been more grateful. "I just pray for this to be over soon. Especially for your mother."

* * *

 _17th June (evening)_

"Miss Doe, you should go to your room." the nurse suggested, but Cora shook gracefully her head. She was sore and she felt weak, but all those family chatting, all those kids running in the corridors to their mother and their newborns siblings made her happy, not to mention that she felt awfully lonely by herself in that room, with the emptiness of her mind too.

"When the visiting hours will be over." she pleaded, adjusting the woollen shawl on her shoulder as she rested on one of the armchair of the common room.

"All-right, but please don't get too tired." the nurse smiled.

Cora nodded, smiling sweetly.  
She was in that Hospital since the morning, she had received food, warm clothes, treatments and medicines and she knew she had just a general distress, due to the terrible places she had been kept in. Her throat would have recovered soon, as her superficial wounds, the doctors had told her that even her mind would have healed eventually so she was confident and quiet about that, even if her lack of memories scared her, sometime.

Being in the common area, especially during visiting hours, kept her mind busy and happy and now that they told her that in some special days the families could've stayed longer, until eight o'clock, was a relief. Honestly, she was scare of the night, because she knew she would have nightmares about that horrible experience.

"Bye bye, miss Doe!"

"Bye bye, Tommy." Cora smiled at the young boy waving his little hand at her. He'd been there since the early afternoon to meet his little sister. He'd told her everything about it and she'd listened quietly, trying to remember something as the boy talked, but without much success.  
Yet, his funny voice made her new name a little more likeable: since no one knew her real name, the doctors and the nurses started to refer at her as 'miss Doe', as she seemed to have nothing on her left hand but a defined groove on her finger. She of course didn't remember a thing, thus every one presumed she was a single woman or divorced. Cora however felt like she was definitely missing something fundamental.

Her sight went on the big clock tickling in the corner of the room.  
Twenty minutes more and they would have forced her to return to her room.

Cora sighed demoralized, staring at one of the last visitors heading at the main stairs.

They were two, a fine couple, maybe father and daughter as he seemed quite older than the lady, whose hair were perfectly combed and were gold as the grain. She smiled when they both partially turned, giving their goodbyes to a patient in her room: they were definitely father and daughter because they shared the same chin.

And he looked quite handsome too.

"So the police found the poor lady's family at last?" the woman said, grasping her father's arm as they walked.

"Yes, I saw them hugging just before we left for the hospital." the man answered, wearing a grey hat.

"Well, at least that's a good news." the woman commented and that was all Cora heard before they disappeared behind the corner.

She sighed again, lowering her eyes.  
Some woman had found her family. She was happy and still she couldn't help but envy her.  
Would that have ever happened to her too?  
Maybe soon, the wait would have been started tomorrow.

 _Patience_ , she reminded herself, _don't loose hope_.  
Was someone looking for her?  
How would have done if they didn't even take a picture of her, yet? What were they waiting for? Was the police doing enough to find her family?  
Did she have a family?

"Miss Doe?" she turned when she heard the nurse calling for her. She stood up, sure that she wanted her to return to her room; she offered her hand instead, urging Cora to take it.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, following her.

The nurse grinned.  
"There's someone for you."


	8. Chapter 8 - Mrs Doe

NdA: Hello guys! :) I'm writing as a free woman, finally. I'll have some days before my vacations to write a little, so prepare to be surprised!

Deep gratitude to all who read the chapter, favourited, followed and most of all, who reviewed: granthamfan, lulin, Dream of Ragtime, witchoesed, Amiliana Martin, eyeon, Ju, Countess of Cobert & sinceyoufellinlovewithme. Your fondness is heartwarming.

[I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes!]

We were left with _someone_ who came for Cora, ready to discover his identity?  
Also, a little young!Cobert flashback for the second part, hope you'll **enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 8 – Mrs. Doe

 _17_ _th_ _June (evening)_

"Someone?" Cora asked the nurse, puzzled "I don't understand." she muttered "I thought the doctors said not to expect a thing before tomorrow." she breathed, suddenly out of air.

"I know, miss Doe, but someone just asked for you." the nurse smiled sympathetically, placing her hand on the small of her back, urging her into her room "Now now, don't strain yourself, you're still weak."

Cora had been overtaken by a spontaneous excitement. She felt like a child waiting for unwrapping the presents on Christmas day: someone was here for her, to take her away, to bring her home!  
"Tell me!" she whispered happily, letting herself fall on the bed; the mattress bounced under her weight.

"He's very handsome." the nurse said with a smirk.

He? A man was here for her. Her partner, her husband? At least he was handsome.  
Cora straightened her back, holding her breath and, for a moment, she tried to remember, or _imagining_ his face. She closed her eyes, hands folded next to her chest and a dreamy smile on her lips as a man took form into her mind, tall and with a grey jacket, with a hat and the face.. the face was that stranger's face she just saw leaving with his daughter. She chuckled, thinking that that must have been a bizarre idea, yet he was the most handsome man she'd seen since her memories had been taken away from her body. Cora found herself hoping that the man who was there to claim her was quite as handsome as him, with a kind face and gentle eyes.

"Where is he now?" she asked impatiently, grasping her weary throat with her hand, begging the pain to leave her alone.

"Filling up some files." the nurse replied, smiling sweetly. "Now, save some words for him or you won't be able to answer his questions." the woman was walking closer to Cora with a spoon full of some strange dark liquid, dangerously directed to her mouth.

"What questions?" she asked, childishly trying to avoid that dreadful moment when the slimy medicine would have slipped into her throat with the most disgusting taste.

"You'll have to prove that you'll remember something or that this man is who he claims to be. We can't just let some random guy take you, can we, miss Doe?" she enquired and when Cora tried to answer, the nurse expertly stuck the spoon into her mouth, leaving her not choice but to swallow the drug.

Cora complained with a long moan.  
"I suppose not." she confirmed with a husky voice. The last this she wished for was to end up in the wrong place, that she had to admit. "It'll take long?" she asked again, brushing her fingers on her white gown, following a natural urge to be more presentable.

"Not long if everything goes fine." the nurse reassured "I will be here supervising and the doctor too. If this man is your relative you shall be free to go home with him and I'll pack up some drugs for you.. after all you just need a fine warm place to rest, everything will heal, miss Doe."

Cora nodded, partially convinced by her word, but still, her heart pumped strongly in her chest, up in her head, rhythmically, almost painfully.  
What would he be like? Would he have dark hair or brown eyes? His hand would have been warm enough? His voice would have been caring?

"What if he's not who he says to be?" she enquired, suddenly afraid of her destiny.

The nurse turned to her, sitting on the bed next to her and putting her arm over her shoulders, pulling Cora into a loosen embrace.  
"Someone will come tomorrow and the day after until-"

"My dear!" both the women startled on the spot, tilting their head up in surprise. They didn't hear the door's knob clicking, just the door flying open, followed by some quick steps, all too fast for their minds to process.

Cora's heart skipped a beat and instinctively she leaned closer to the nurse, who tightened the embrace as a natural reflex.

"Sir, easy now." the doctor grabbed his arm, urging him to act more quietly.

The man nodded, kneeling before the bed with watery eyes and an idiotic smile.  
"My dear, it is you." he stated with a voice that sounded trained to Cora's ears.

She was staring at him, quite disappointed by the fact that that man was the exact opposite of the man she imaged before, the one who became her ideal of the perfect man who was there to save her. He had shiny blond hair and two piercing eyes, his features harsh and squared. He was handsome, just not her type of handsome, she thought.. or maybe she just got the wrong idea and her taste in men had been misguided, somehow.

"Sir, could you repeat to miss Doe what you said to me earlier? About that day she lost her memories?" the doctor stepped in, folding his hands behind his back, moving often his glance from the visitor to his patience.

"Of course." the man nodded "We fought that day and- you ran away."

Cora remained silent. Those words weren't foreign to her but yet it appeared all so distant.

"Mr. Loyce, why didn't you go to the police? We haven't any request of people searching for missing people, except Lord Grantham's."

The nurse suddenly felt Cora going stiff, her lips mouthing words without any sound, her eyes were dull.  
"Miss Doe," she shook her he little, gesturing the man to let her have some more space "The name rang?" she enquired, both happy and concerned.

"Perhaps." she mumbled, raising her eyes on the man, who looked overly encouraging, nodding and smiling and torturing his hat with his fingers.

"Do I look familiar?" he asked.

Cora stared blankly at him.  
"Quite." she only whispered, images of him flashing before her eyes "The trees.." she frowned.

"Maybe she's speaking of the park in front of the house: we take a stroll before dinner every day." the man explained to the doctor and he nodded with an indifferent face, turning his attention to Cora.

"Does anything look familiar to you, miss Doe?"

Cora's glanced wandered restless around the room. She felt an unimaginable weight on her chest, the fear of being wrong, the fear of her mind giving her fake memories or adjusting to a reality someone else wanted for her. What if he wasn't right for her? What if he was a bad companion? What if she was changed and his life wasn't hers anymore? And then, was he her husband? Did he love her? Did she love him?

All she could think was that she didn't felt a thing for the man, just a terrible feeling of confusion.

"Stop calling her that, her name is Cora." he angrily said suddenly, leaning over, closer, taking her hands in his.

They were cold and Cora felt that something was terribly wrong with that.  
She heard that name before, she was sure, yet it was something that didn't belong to her, like a friend's name or a distant relative name, not hers.

"Please Mr. Loyce, she's being through a lot and she's upset, don't put her under pressure. Small information, and one at the time." the doctor politely invited him to take a step back and gladly, he did, sighing loudly.

The room started to spin around her, her empty mind screaming her to take a decision, her memories striving to be remembered without any success.  
"Would you mind leaving me alone for a while?" Cora spoke quickly, without breathing, her eyes low as much as her voice.

"Sure." the doctor said, avoiding calling her not to crowd more her thoughts or making her feel someone else forcing a decision on her. He was the first one to leave to room, extending his arm toward the man, encouraging him to follow his steps into the corridor for some time alone in peace.

Cora noticed that the man's forehead was slightly shining because of some pearls of sweat damping his skin; he was nervous and she didn't like that because she felt uncomfortable in his presence and his behaviour didn't work as a balm at all, as she thought it would, rather the exact opposite.

"Wait." the man blurted suddenly, digging his right hand into his inner pocket and offering his closed fist to her.

Cora stared back at him, gently raising her head, tears of frustration gathering at the corner of her eyes. She wanted the man out, for some reason, she did remember something about him, but she wasn't sure what and she was afraid and scared and stressed and tired.

She dared to open her hand, placing it under his fist, hoping that he would have gone soon, and she waited, when he slowly opened his fingers, dropping a ring into her palm. It was gold and simple and Cora felt the urge to hold it tightly between her fingers; lifting the small jewel to her eyes, her gaze dwelt on a precise spot of the inside, like she was used to that movement even without knowing the precise reason why.

" _Fides_ *" she read just above breath. "What does it mean?" she enquired with the same tone.

No one answered for a long moment.

"You will know, my dear." the man said confidently. "Just try it on." he shrugged his shoulders, impatient.

Cora stared at the ring for entire minutes. She had felt like she was missing something but now, with that near, that sensation faded slightly away.  
Was he telling the truth, then? Why her heart couldn't just settled down? What was that feeling of something terribly wrong?  
She moistened her dry lips, swallowing painfully and slipped carefully the ring into her finger.

It was a perfect fit and her defined groove welcomed the metal smoothly.

Like a key unlocking its latch, Cora's heart clicked.

She felt, for the first time, a little more complete and, instinctively, she smiled.

"Cora?" the nurse tried carefully and she smiled back when she turned to her right away: clearly her current state, not totally conscious, lost maybe in some blurred memories, tricked her mind and she unintentionally recognized what must have been her own name.

"Do you trust me, now?" the man asked with a gentle smile, offering his arm. "Let's go home." he proposed.

Cora bit her inner cheek, swallowing, breathing calmly, watching him and the doctor and the nurse, who seemed not helpful at all. She found herself thinking about that man once more, that bold man with kind blue eyes, clung to his daughter so dearly, who stroke his arm fondly; so much was still missing from her life, information that maybe that man would have provided her in the future but she couldn't help but pray for something like that, that unconditional love, not bought nor begged. Was he the one who would have brought her home?

Her blue eyes locked in his, but she saw nothing.  
Yet nothing was the best she could get, for now.

Cora twisted mindlessly her ring around her finger and, slowly, she put her hand in his.

* * *

 _12_ _th_ _March 1890_

 _Robert rolled to his side, vaguely waking up when the guilt and the shame together with the very real sensation of being in the wrong place, became piercing thoughts in his mind, more and more defined as the time passed.  
He wasn't supposed to sleep into his wife's bed over the night, yet he couldn't recollect much of the moment before the slumber, but the undefined wish to rest a little before moving into his dressing room; he did remember Cora clutching to his arm, begging him to stay and him conceding her few minutes before leaving, all that before the warmth of her skin and the steady breath growing heavier on his neck cast the most fatal spell on him, making his lids fall and sleep follow shortly after, without he could've even realized it._

 _He held his breath and with a smooth, quick movement, he sat up on the edge of the bed, searching with his toes for his carpet slippers, in which he crawled his fingers after few unladen tries. Then he stood up, shutting his eyes closed for he knew he may had been a little too harsh, making the mattress notably bounce; he felt more guilty than before: it had been his mistake and he didn't want to wake Cora up from her dreams._

 _He carefully tiptoed toward the chair and wore his robe, curling his lips into a satisfied smile for not tripping into anything. Just before leaving, heading to his small dressing room and no less small bed, he turned himself to take a gaze of his beautiful, sleeping wife._

 _Only then he noticed that the cover, on her side, was undone, the white sheets exposed and the bed totally empty._

 _He stared at the piece of furniture, puzzled, and then he let his eyes wander around the room, from the mantel to the settee, from the table to the chaise lounge where, honestly, he hoped to find her, asleep with her face turned to the window, like she often did during her afternoons naps, but no, that was empty too._

 _He grew quiet only when he heard some muffled noises coming from the wash room and he sighed a little relieved, padding once again toward his room._

 _It was at that moment when he realized that those muffled noises, were indeed sobs, desperate sobs, irregular in strength and yet rhythmical, because he heard one at every breath of his. Was that Cora? Was Cora weeping alone in the wash room?_

 _Robert felt his heart race in his chest and his mind ran wild, searching for a reason: did he do something wrong? Did he treat her bad the previous night? Did he insulted her when he fell asleep in her bed?_

 _He felt immensely guilty and he walked back on his steps, approaching with caution the door, slightly ajar._

 _Robert peeked inside, grateful that the moon was full that night and that its light was enough bright to let him see the strictly necessary inside the small room: the furniture, the wooden chair, the towels, the mirror and the bathtub.  
He felt his heart shrinking painfully when he noticed that his wife was precisely in there, with her knees pressed to her chest and her arms embracing her legs, her face down, hidden, while her dark locks were scattered on her trembling shoulders, completing her ideal nutshell._

 _Robert was afraid._

 _During the brief time together, he grew very fond of her and every time he saw her sad or melancholy, he did everything to bring back her smile, it kept up like that for the whole year of engagement and then the marriage occurred, revealing to him a new world of opportunities, feeling and duties. Cora had became his Cora and he realized he really enjoyed all the time they spent together.  
Yet he felt still a young, inexpert boy dealing with his first feelings and he was insecure and uncertain all the time. With the estate saved, their duty had become to produce an heir to Downton, and just after the wedding, his parents urged him to start thinking about a family. Robert had felt the pressure, and somehow he managed to know his wife, or trying to know his wife, without much success._

 _Did he loved her? Did he take advantage of her? Did he fool her, promising to return her love for him?_

 _He didn't know the answer to any of those questions, yet there he was, not even a month after his wedding day, returned home after their honeymoon with a wife in love he felt as if he'd betrayed her, not loving her back with the same intensity, a wife he adored, a wife who welcomed him in her bed every night, the wife with who he could share intimacy without being shy was the same wife to whom he was afraid to show his true feelings, feelings he'd been denied himself, whether those feelings were of love or not._

 _He silently sighed, moving backwards, biting his inner cheek._

" _Cora? Is everything all-right?" he asked quietly, waiting for her answer._

 _The weeping sound suddenly stopped. It was clear that everything was not all-right, yet he would have found odd stepping in without warning, asking her why she was crying: she surely didn't want him to know and would have been embarrassed. Robert would have, at least._

" _Yes." came her reply shortly after. It was clear from her tone she'd been crying._

" _Are you sure?" he went on, placing his palm on the door, pushing slightly._

" _Yes." this time, her voice was a little more firm "I'm fine, Robert."_

 _He peeked inside once more, noticing her wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands, settling her nightgown smoothly on her knees. "You should go back to sleep."_

" _I was going to." he confessed, hiding his body "But then-" he drew a sharp breath and he heard Cora doing the same "Anyway, I'll sleep in the dressing room, if you need-"_

" _Would you mind staying?" she interrupted; Robert had a distinct gaze of her hand grasping the edge of the bathtub, squeezing it hard. "For a little while." she added then._

 _He didn't answer her, but instead he pushed the door open, watching her as she watched him back, embarrassed, tired, still slightly trembling beside the bathtub._  
" _How long have you been there?" he asked worried, daring to step closer to her._

" _I don't know." she replied just above breath, sniffing, clasping to her own forearms, shrugging her shoulders._

" _What's the matter Cora?" he tentatively reached for her, but Cora moved back, lowering her eyes to her feet.  
Robert watched her toes curling up nervously._

" _It's nothing, really." she said, but her voice cracked, and she shut her eyes closed because she didn't want him to hear her voice breaking, nor to see her lips trembling or her eyes reddening, filling up with tears once again._

" _Cora-" Robert felt terribly guilty, so much that his heart ached._

 _He walked to her, ignoring her sharp movements with which she turned her back to him as he spread his arms to embrace her, and held her tight, trying to smooth her new sobs, shivers, trying to comfort her even though she seemed to complain about it, weakly squirming into his grasp._

" _I miss home." she mumbled, she would have been doubled over if his arms wouldn't been there, supporting her weight._

 _Robert knew he couldn't comprehend her feelings: he had never been far from home, he had never been far from home knowing that his life would have been lived across sea, that what he once called home wasn't home anymore._

" _I'm sorry, my dear." he whispered into her ear, shyly rubbing her skin._

 _Cora turned to face him, her soft cheeks wet and red._

" _I miss_ me _." she added.  
A sentence that, for him, was a total mystery._

 _Robert didn't answer. He lifted his fingers to her face, wiping some damp lock away from her forehead._

" _What do you mean?" he asked tenderly with a smile, not expecting surely her eyes throwing flames at him with a furious glance, her lips going thinner while her tears returned to escape her lashes._

" _You don't understand, don't you?" she shouted, immediately lowering her voice when she realized it must have been around the wee hours. "Back in America everybody knew me and I had a lot of friends and I was sought-after. Here I'm judged constantly by everyone who think they're better than me, they call me 'the American' or 'the dollar princess' or.. God knows what." she drew a sharp breath "And now that we're back at Downton it's not like in our honeymoon and I realize this is my life now and I chose this and I hate myself for it!" she couldn't help but raising her voice at every sentence she added._

 _Robert fought hard the will to hold her once more._

 _Did he neglect her? Was he behaving differently from their honeymoon around Europe? Back in those days, no one knew them, and everyone treated them like a normal couple of newly-wed. He had eyes only for her and she smiled and laughed with no hint of worry in her glance; yet now she was under attack by the critiques of mama and society and he had been absorbed by the estate duties. She must have felt lonely and homesick.. how could he had been so blind?_

" _Hate?" he bit his own lip, hoping that she spoke without thinking properly._

" _You don't love me, Robert." she said, her voice awfully flat. "You don't." she repeated. "And now I have nothing and I am no one."_

" _But I do." he replied, almost angrily. She had spat in his face what he'd feared for months now.  
Did he love her for real? What he did know, was that he was fond of her, he wanted to protect her and make her happy, for all his life, but love? Could he dared to call that love?_

 _Cora slowly shook her head, as if she knew better._  
" _It doesn't matter." she added with a sigh._

" _Cora- I'm sorry if you felt lonely. But I do care for you." he spoke carefully "And what do you mean, you're no one? You're my wife and I cherish you for it."_

" _Your wife." a melancholy smiled curled her lips "Viscountess of Grantham, what more?" she asked ironically "That's not me. Those titles have been given to me." she wiped her cheeks and chin with her hand "That's not me. I'm no one here. Just some doll which has been put to your side and whose money saved your home."_

" _Cora, don't talk like that." he said firmly, holding her despite her complains, pulling her slightly so he could rub her back._

 _Cora was tired from her long cry and, honestly, she needed comfort from him, the only person who seemed to care for her and the only one who loved her, even if, maybe, not n the way she wanted._

" _I'm sorry." she apologized, pressing her face to his shoulder "I'm just tired and a little homesick, that's all."_

 _Robert sighed, placing two fingers under he chin, urging her to look into his eyes._

" _I know you are, but you shouldn't think those things, ever. And I'm sorry if I let you do so. You do are my wife and the Viscountess and also my friend and companion and lover.." at this, her cheeks turned into a crimson red "But most of all you are my Cora, and no one can deny it."_

 _She gave him a small smile, kissing shyly his cheek._

" _Thank you." she simply said._

" _I promise I'll make you happy, Cora." he held her hands, raising to his lips, kissing her palms dearly "Let me. I'll show you everything you can be, here, as my lovely Cora. I'll promise I'll make you feel the most loved woman in all the Yorkshire."_

 _Cora nodded, inhaling slowly from her nose._

" _Show me." she whispered tangling her slender fingers with his._

 _Robert felt like the king of the world: powerful, happy, but with a great duty and responsibility behind the luxury and the glee; yet he was determined in keeping his word._

 _With her soft hand in his warm one, he lead her back to their bedroom, holding her all night, promising to stay there as long as she liked, kissing her, keeping her warm, comforting her into the darkness, making her his wife, lover, companion, and all the other things he'd whispered into her ears, his wet lips brushing onto her lobe._

" _Robert?" she asked, her breath a little panting, before falling into slumber "What am I now?"_

 _Robert smiled into her locks, rubbing her back as she fell asleep._

" _You're my everything, now, Cora and you shall always be everything."_

* * *

*it's a Latin word [Fides, fidei], whose meaning will be revealed further, patience my dear friends :)  
See you soon!


	9. Chapter 9 - Mist comin' in

NdA: Hello my dear ones! Sorry for the late update but I chose to publish this chapter today because on the 20th I'm going to a very long trip that it'll leave me very small time and internet connection. So this is on of my farewell for all of you: **I'm going on hiatus up until late August**.  
On the 19th, however, I'm going to publish a new story, a one-shot, about.. a very peculiar couple, a crack!pairing.. you'll see if you're interested :)

News spreaded, let's talk about this chapter! It's Cora-centric because everyone (including me) was worried about her, so here we go ;)  
Extra point to who's going to guess the movie that inspired me; if you come from tumbrl.. don't cheat! XD

Big thanks to all who reviewed the previous chapter: MontmarayRoyal, lulin, granthamfan, sincyoufellinlovewithme, witchoesed, Dream of Ragtime, Countess of Cobert, Aimee & Amiliana Martin.

[I'm not a native, so forgive my mistakes!] Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 9 – Mist comin' in

 _17_ _th_ _July (late evening)_

She was staring at the window, her eyes and mind lost somewhere behind the horizon of building and chimneys, watching mindlessly the dark flock of birds flying around the Cathedral. It was weird how some things came so clear to her mind, like the white stone of that church, the high stairs, the tickling of pennies and the crumbs thrown up in the air, the laughed she shared and then the other things so blurred and ill-defined, like with whom she was sharing her laughs with, the running kids' faces, the familiar old bird woman's name.

She felt so lost in that city of forgotten streets and buildings, which only few of them were known to her, thanks to specific memories she, sadly, couldn't quite define. There was this blurred one of her strolling down at night to a man's arm, the loud chatting behind her in the bistro they'd just left and she remembered the happiness, how much safe she felt, so different from the loneliness grasping her heart now; then there was this one of a ball, a fancy ball with colourful dresses and delightful music, and again that mysterious man squeezing her hand as he leaded her through the hall. The last one she remembered was about the Cathedral: as soon as her eyes laid on it through the window's glass, that memory came to her, even if unfinished. It gave her hope, because now she knew that everything could have caused her a memory, the most unexpected thing, in the most unexpected hours.

"Mrs. Loyce, you're ready to go?" at first, Cora didn't even answer Louise's call, but when she cleared her throat and said her name again, Cora turned sharply to her, almost falling from her chair, her face crooked into a displeased wince.

That name didn't belong to her, she felt nothing for that name but a terrible feeling; she could almost tell that something was wrong in all of this, yet, looking down to her finger, Cora couldn't honestly tell what.

"Yes." her lips curved into a cracked smile as she stood weary up from the chair "But, please, call me Cora."

Louise smiled sympathetically and nodded, helping her in in the coat provided from the hospital.

"Don't worry. He seems a good man." the nurse's voice was low and comforting while the only thing Cora wanted to hear from her lips was that they would have kept her in few days more. "You'll be fine."

Cora remained silent.

She knew that everyone, since that man showed up an hour earlier, trusted him, that the doctors said that only a familiar place would have helped her, now that her medicine couldn't do anything more for her, now that her mind was the only thing that kept her from her own memories.

On the outside, Cora looked like the most vulnerable patience, that fragile woman with a broken past, the one who needed protection and guidance, the one who would have been safe into the hands of that fine blond man of the upper middle class who brought her her wedding ring and looked to her with fondness, but in the inside, Cora was screaming.  
In her clouded world she couldn't see anything clear except her feelings, in her clouded world in which the others took decision in her behalf for her own good, she couldn't trust her own feelings, thus the only thing she got, became completely useless.  
Her mind betrayed her, her world betrayed her, what about the other people, they would have betrayed her as well?

"Cora?" Louise touched slightly her arm and Cora startled, giving her an automatic smile.

"I'm sorry, I was thinking." she whispered, following the nurse into the corridors.

"That is good. You'll see, your memories will come back." she felt the woman's hand squeezing hers.

Cora trusted her. Leaving her behind to follow that total stranger created the most unsettling feeling in her heart, her throat clenched, her palms began to sweat, her lungs burned.

Not even a day ago she was imprisoned, ill, scared, alone, she had been rescued, cured and clothed, doctors and nurses managed to make her feel safe again, comforting her with speeches of hope, of someone who was looking for her, of her future hope and family once they would have been reunited once again, they told her that those things could took long time and she had all the time to get used to her current situation and Cora did. She did not expect to have someone claiming for her the same day.

It was all so fast and it scared her.

She felt like a doll into a child's hand, joggled around to match someone's taste and she didn't like that.

"Thank you again, doctor." Cora rose her eyes to the man's hand shaking the doctor's. They were smiling "I don't really know how to express my gratitude." the doctor waved his free hand with an embarrassed expression, then left.

She couldn't believe that that was the man who would have take her home, wherever home was, she couldn't believe that was the arm she would have hold during her walks, she couldn't bare the thought of those lips pronouncing her name nor him saying that she was his wife. Cora didn't feel like anything of his belongings and she would have made that clear to him, once out of the public.  
She would have asked time and if he was the true gentleman who he claimed to be and who seemed to be, he would have agreed with no objections whatsoever.

"Take care." Louise's kind voice interrupted the heavy silence it had fallen.

"Ready to go, my dear?" asked him, offering his arm to her.

Cora stared at it for too long before sliding her hand around his elbow, settling her fingers on his bicep. She nodded, making a mental note to tell him to stop calling her with anything but her name.

* * *

Cora pressed her left shoulder on the car's window, trying to be as far as possible from him. She felt highly uncomfortable with having that stranger around, behaving like a common man expecting her wife to show the slightest sign of affection and gratitude, all thing she couldn't provide to him.

Her eyes wandered around the grey streets, dwelling on the people strolling on the side-walks and she often asked herself if one day she would have to start act like his wife, if taking his hand or his arm, smiling at him with adoring look like the couple outside, all those things would have come out themselves; she was wondering if some day, having him around would have become essential for her, or being his wife would be natural as breathing.

For the moment she was scared. She was scared because every single thought with him involved in her life, not to mention her personal space, made her stomach turn.. and yet, what was she supposed to do? Mr. Pearce Loyce, her husband, was the only person in the world she had, the only one she knew about at least. He was about to take her home, he would've take care of her, he would've take her into a safe place where she would have been able to find her memories back, slowly, or a place where she would have start a brand new life with people she knew from her previous one, even if her condition would have lasted for few months more.

Everybody was confident she would have heal, eventually, among familiar places, yet Cora wasn't sure she wanted to, hoping to build a new self with the opportunity granted: her heart and instinct kept telling her that there was something terribly wrong in all of that, maybe she could've learn to trust her husband again, love the live they once had built, growing old happily without regrets.

"If you're hungry I can make some dinner when we get home, dear." Cora turned slowly her head to him. What was all that about? He seemed a fine man, not particularly rich but from the upper society for sure. Couldn't he afforded some staff? Was it going to be her job? Taking care of the house, making dinner.. was she the wife or the maid?

"I'm not hungry." she whispered without emotion "And would you please stop calling me that. I'd prefer if you'd call me Cora." she swallowed "For now." she added then, lowering her lashes. Maybe she was over reacting, maybe if she'd given him the chance to explain their life, she would have understand.

"Sure." he nodded, biting on his lip.

Did she hurt him? After all, he'd been nice to her, he didn't do anything rude and his temper seemed calm and relaxed for the moment.. the opposite of hers. She knew she could've sounded lunatic, yet she couldn't help herself: her mind, spinning wildly, wasn't able to keep her still, constantly on the edge of a nerves wreck, not able to keep pace with all the world around her.

She needed space, time, things that maybe would've kept her distant from the true.

She needed help, but she didn't want it from him.

"How do I call you?" she asked hesitantly, looking him with the corner of her blue eye.

"Pearce is fine." he sighed soundly "I suppose you'd like to go straight to bed?" she noticed his lips curling up into a cracked smile.

"Please."

Cora dared to smile a little, leaning her temple on the cold glass.

She felt tired, terribly tired and yet one piercing thought kept her mind wide awake: if there wasn't any staff, would she have been alone with him in their house?

"Do you need something specific once we got home?" he enquired, a strange look upon his face "I'll make sure you'll have your medicines at hand."

Cora immediately thought of the several bottles of drugs the doctor gave him: some were for her pain, other from her throat and few for her general health. The idea of taking pills every day made her sick, still managing those on her own made her feel rather confidence than having to depend on him.  
She nodded gracefully and the corner of her mouth bent up for a brief moment.

There were so many question she wanted to ask, and it was so difficult for her to organize them into a neat list, so she decided to speak of her worries by priorities.

The idea of sleeping into a dark house made her tremble, she was afraid of the silence since she had to stay for so long into that claustrophobic room with nothing to do and loneliness was clenching her heart with an iron grasp.  
Cora remembered that feeling very well and she remembered how that sensation faded away, in a blink of an eye, not when the police saved her, not when the doctor took care of her, not when Louise clothed her and reassured, but when that sweet boy, Tommy, started to talk to her with her toddler voice, telling her gambling stories, warming her heart; and even before she could realized, her fear was gone.

She remembered how after her complete examination the doctor told her she might have given birth, maybe even more than once, and she remembered how she hoped that was true, sure that children, small or grown up, would have lightened up her life, helping her out from her misplaced mind.

"Do we have children?" her left fingers latched with her right ones in hope. The thought of sharing kids with him made her stomach turn in discomfort, yet having someone to take care of, or even look after from distance made her soul peaceful in some way.

"No." he blurted out and then a deadly silence fell upon them.

Cora dropped her joint hands on her lap. That news was awful.  
How could she ever lived her life without children?

"Why?" she asked shyly, in a small voice, afraid of the answer she would have received. However, time passed and he didn't say a thing. Maybe he couldn't or maybe the problem was her. Why didn't they adopt? Maybe his job didn't allow it? He seemed pretty wealthy.. "What's your job?" she asked soon after, turning curiously her head to him.

The man looked at her with a blank face, he seemed quite bugged by her questions, perhaps he was tired himself or perhaps he didn't feel comfortable in telling her about their life from the bottom, having an empty shell as wife who couldn't even remember his name or face.

"I'm a-" he paused and cleared his throat "Freelance. We just moved in this house, about a month ago for it."

Cora stared at him for rather some time. She thought his answer too evasive for her taste but maybe his intentions were good and he was just helping her: after all, the doctors warned him about giving less information as possible, leaving her the chance to remember by herself.

Cora didn't like that at all.  
Loneliness would have hunt her down for a long time: he was a freelance, so with all the chances he would have been out of the house for the most of the day, they were in that block from so little and surely they weren't close with the neighbours yet. She felt alone, abandoned, left aside by everyone, by the one who should have been her only family; he was cold and coy and she hated it.

"Oh." she sighed on the edge of tears.

"What is it?"

"I guess I'll have some time for myself." she sighed. Cora tried not to sound too sad, because the last thing she wanted was to get on his nerves or making him regret his decision of having a weight on his foot; after all, the life she was about to live wasn't bad: what could she ask for more than a fine husband, all the needing for a serene life and a roof upon her head?

"You won't be alone if that's what troubles you, Cora."

She stared blankly at his hand when his fingers went to clasp her without hesitation and his thumb went to brush her skin.  
What most unsettled her was the complete lack of emotions.

"I won't?" she asked puzzled. Maybe they had a dog? Or a cat?

"No. My cousin Roger came to visit us and.. to help." he cleared his throat and suddenly he withdrew his hand. "And during the day there are the staff to take care of the house. I don't like unknown people walking around at night so you'll have to do by yourself few things.. if that's all-right."

Cora nodded at his words.

She did like that all her life, right? How could she pretend for something different?

Still, something didn't feel right. It was like she had had something for all her life than now was missing, more than just a sporadic husband and a cousin coming to visit. She felt like she always had company in her life, was it from a pet or a friend or a relative she somehow knew she had it.

"Why don't we have children?" she asked again, unable to stop thinking about that. Maybe they had a terrible loss and he didn't want to talk about it.

"We've arrived." he said flatly.

Cora decided it was better not to talk about that topic for the moment and her eyes were delightfully surprised by the sight in front of her: a lane of cobblestones and pink, romantic cherry trees divided two lines of houses of different shapes and sizes, each of which swam into green gardens of roses and ivy; white fences and black railings hosted graceful signs and mailboxes. It seemed a quite rich borough and she smiled when the car stopped in front of a pretty house of red bricks, double-decker, with rounded windows in the upper floor and white iron chairs in the front yard.

"This is it?" she asked gracefully, while stepping out of the taxi that brought them there.

"Sixteen." he confirmed, pushing the small gates so she could enter first.

Almost immediately a man came from the house's front door, slightly limping and leaning heavily at every step onto an elegant black cane.  
He had brown eyes and pretty common dark hair, his smile was friendly and she couldn't deny that having him around soothed her.

"Cora, welcome back." he greeted her, raiding his right hand and balancing himself with a little effort.

"Thank you." she smiled sweetly, taking her time to remember the name Pearce told her "Roger." she sighed, a little relieved, and absent-mindedly let her glance fell onto his leg, wondering what might had happened to him.

All her world was so blurred and new that she felt like a child brought outside his nursery for the very first time.

When she realized she was staring, Cora startled, blushing, drawing her eyes away.

"Right, you don't remember." he chuckled a little and she looked him back quite puzzled. "Peter made a quick call from the hospital and told me." he cleared his throat when Cora's expression didn't relaxed as he was expecting, quite at the contrary, her eyes carried the shadows of more questions.

"Peter is one of my nicknames."

Cora turned her attention to Pearce, who was smiling confident and unstrained.

"Oh." she nodded slowly, trying to record as many things as possible form that conversation.

"He fell from his horse." Pearce added, just before suggesting to go inside.

Cora didn't ask for more. They didn't specify when that event occurred, when he was young or if that was just a fresh wound that would have healed some time soon.  
She felt her thoughts becoming more and more twisted. She needed certainties and what she had were only mysteries no one was willing to explain.

Cora was feeling like something was brewing, she couldn't sure of course if that sensation was just a result of her empty mind, she couldn't tell either if that familiar feeling of being alone with those two was a positive thing.

She entered that house for last, standing for a long time before the door, the terrible impression of being about to live something she'd already lived before.

* * *

Clutching at her own elbows through the silky nightgown, she was pacing absently around the back, her feet brushing against the carpet below.

Cora felt something missing.

She always felt that way, yet there was something in those actions she just made, that didn't seem right: she sat on the small chair, facing the mirror and she brushed her hair, settling down on her shoulder and braiding them loosely, but then.. she just stared blankly at the mirror, almost not recognizing the woman she saw in it.  
She felt the urge to remove jewellery she didn't wear, she rubbed her hands one against the other like she'd do if there was some sort of lotion on her skin, her nose tickled as if she was supposed to smell some familiar fragrance but nothing happened.

Not a single thing happened and she felt lost.

"My dear?"

Cora turned sharply to the door, which moved ajar under Pearce's hand, revealing him in his robe, grinning at her with a half smile she didn't quite get.

"Oh." she gasped. Why was he there, in his robe? Didn't she give the good-nights to both before heading upstairs? "Did you forget something?" she tentatively asked, looking around the room to see if she could identify something masculine somewhere; frankly she wasn't completely comfortable with him around and somehow having him in her bedroom, increased that feeling. She wanted him out to crawl up in her bed and seek some sleep.

"No, I did not." he farrowed, entering the room and closing the door behind his back. He was looking quite puzzled, but Cora didn't change her blank expression. "Don't you..?" he paused, gesturing the bed with a quick glance.

"Don't you have your own bedroom?" she asked, quite rudely, but she didn't mind too much. For as mush as she recalled, gentlemen had their own bedroom and ladies slept in theirs, unless.. "I will not!" she spat, backing, tightening her grasp on herself.

"Of course not!" he replied and he seemed somewhat hurt "What do you want me to do, sleep with my cousin?" he lowered his voice, yet her tone was angry and firm.

Cora tightened her lips together.

"Well, don't you have another spare room for your guests?" she asked then, folding her arms on her chest, shifting her weight from one feet to the other.

"Yes, but-" he sighed "Fine." the door clicked open once more "Goodnight Cora." he whispered, turning slightly his head to her before disappearing into the corridor.

He wasn't sure she'd answered.

Pearce straightened his back, tightening the knot on his robe and he walked in the corridors, led by the light escaping the last door on the right.

He passed the empty guest room and rapidly headed to the other one, knocking on the door. He didn't wait for the permission to step in and smiled, taking a seat next to Roger on the bed, who was busy removing his shoe and complicate boot that protected his wounded leg.

"She kicked you out, didn't she?" he chuckled, utterly amused.

The other man pushed him gently on his shoulder, making him loose balance.

"She did, now but.. well," he shrugged his shoulder, keeling down to help the other removing support in stiff lather. He stared critically at the reddened burnt of the gunshot, still rather raw on his skin and after changing the bandage and deciding it was healing fine, he helped him placing his leg up on the bed "Give her time." he smirked.

"Why are you doing this?" Roger sighed, his voice low. "Do you like her?" he curved his brows.

"She's my wife, isn't she?" he teased, only to gain a playful smack on his shoulder in return "Ouch!" he grinned up at him "I- yes, I like her. She's fascinating.. she seems so lost and defenceless but she's not, I can't control her and this drives me nuts." he tried to chuckle, but the other's expression discouraged him. "What is it?"

"Why don't we just ask for her rental? This whole thing is tiring me." he whispered in a small voice.

Pearce smiled and shook slightly his head.

"We will have some fun, trust me. We have their life in our hand: the master of Downton's, Phyllis', hers.." he turned quickly his eyes to the door "We could ask for so much more then just few pennies if milady trust us. Guilt make people do stupid things.. we will have a great advantage."

The other man stood silent for a long time, then sighed.

"Did you fell in love with her..?" Roger's voice reached a pitch note, surprise curling his features abruptly.

The other burst into a wild laugh.

"Some could say you don't know me at all." he grinned while Roger curved his lips into a melancholy smile. "Besides," Peter lifted his hand to cup the other's face, lowering his voice until only a coy whispered escaped his mouth "You know that I love only you." he smiled again and without any hesitation he pressed his lips onto his.

* * *

Did you expect that? Who are really those men? Is Cora safe?

Hope you liked it :) _See you soon, my friends!_


	10. Chapter 10 - Fourth Estate

NdA: I'm baaack! Oh I've missed you so much! Another year of suffering is coming and I've already found my safe place here, writing and reading.

First things first, I'd like to thank from the bottom of my heart the people who left a review: MontmarayRoyal, Countess of Cobert, sincyoufellinlovewithme, Dream of Ragtime & witchoesed.

*News*: this is my very first revised chapter! My deep gratitude to CountessCora, who agreed to be my beta. What a lovely journey is going to be!

A short **instructions for use** for this chapter: I wanted to give Edith a -very- peculiar moment with her parents, and I like that the scene took the "we will laugh about this some day" turn of events. So don't kill me :), if you don't like it, just skip the entire flashback at any time you want :)

That said, I'll leave you to the chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 10 – Fourth Estate

 _19th November 1892_

 _"Cora, would you like to wear the pink one?" Robert re-emerged from the closet, analysing with a critical glance the dress he'd just picked out. It was one of the latest purchases; he had agreed when Cora choose it from the catalogue but now he didn't like it that much. Still, the dresses she could actually wear comfortably were few: some from when she was expecting Mary as well as the other five that had just been shipped to them._

 _"Don't you hate it?"_

 _He chuckled when he heard her muffled voice from the washroom.  
"I- suppose not that much." he made a face, thinking about whether he should have hung it up back or taken it to her._

 _"I was thinking about the navy one."_

 _Robert smiled happily, burying his head into the closet again to pick the right dress. It was on of his favourites, but he had the chance to see it worn only when she was in her late months of pregnancy, for it was far too big for her otherwise._

 _"Darling, are you quite finished?" he asked, placing the dress on his forearm – like he'd seen so many times from her maid – and he settled two towels one on top of the other, ready to take all to her._

 _"Just a minute."_

 _Robert nodded and sighed, absentmindedly approaching her vanity, trying to guess what scent she would have used after her bath to get ready for dinner.  
He hoped she would have worn her blue diadem and her silver earrings they'd bought during their honeymoon in Paris because she simply glowed with those on. It was as if those two pieces of shiny jewellery could make her eyes shine like diamonds._

Oddly enough, merely two years back they were travelling around Europe with the world at their feet, enjoying the wonders of the continent, tasting the sweet wine and laughing from dawn until dusk, filling their hearts with promises and love in all its forms, simply savouring the life they'd chosen.  
Back then and for several months after, Robert wasn't sure he'd loved his darling wife and the guilt was consuming him from the inside. He was a fool, perhaps in love, too scared of the feelings he discovered. His will to protect her and make her happy all the time was indeed love.  
Foolishly,

 _he had only realized he was in love with Cora, dearly, passionately and infinitely on the day she gave birth to their firstborn, Mary._

 _Cora had been so strong and brave, looking down at their newborn daughter with such pride and happiness that he thought that all her fatigue and sadness and fear of not being loved had been wiped away from her body. His wife had gladly gone through an endless and painful labour just to provide him a beautiful daughter and she'd never complained during the months before. He knew she would have walked through the hell and back to prove her love to him.  
He'd hated himself for having been so blind, but from that day on he swore eternal love to her, eternal devotion._

 _Suddenly he felt the burning will of holding her, just looking at her and smiling at her, as if those gestures could have mopped away the past, so he tiptoed toward the washroom, pushing the door ajar._

 _He smiled tenderly at his wife's silhouette, gracefully propped against the bathtub with her hair down, partially wet, her skin adorned by hundreds of drops, her body surrounded by a cloud of white soap; she was stroking her shoulder with a yellow sponge and she was humming a lullaby he couldn't quite recognise._

 _Robert's heart did a backflip when her hands went to rest on her rounded belly, which slightly popped out from the water._

 _He was quite grateful that he was the only one who could have the privilege of seeing her in such beauty, glowing, radiant, for Cora firmly refused to be attended to, during her last months of pregnancy.  
With Mary, she'd became paranoid, almost embarrassed to even walk out from her room. Despite Robert telling her every hour how beautiful she was, Cora had continued to deny it, insisting on dismissing her maid when wasn't strictly necessary.  
Robert then offered to help her during her bath, glad that she accepted it. She had been so headstrong with her first child and with her second, she hadn't been any different.  
He knew she was happy to carry his child, feeling it growing inside her, but somehow she was shy with everyone else.  
No one had been able to convince her to stop using her husband as a maid._

 _Robert, on the other hand, felt quite special and never urged her to behave differently. It wasn't an impossible task to help her in and out of the bath, helping her drying herself and sometime even choose a dress for dinner.  
He had to admit he actually quite liked the job.  
To take care of his wife was something he'd promised on their wedding day, and again after the birth of Mary._

 _"Don't stare."_

 _Robert startled on the spot, smiling when the corner of her mouth bent up in a curious grin._

 _"Sorry." He giggled, entering with the dress and the clean towels, which he settled carefully down on one chair. "How was your bath?"_

 _"Very nice." She looked at him and smirked. "Until someone sneaked in."_

 _"Oh, that's not fair, Cora." he cooed, faking his hurt, kneeling down to her side and dipping his finger into the water. He started to draw invisible circles with some bubbles and then rubbed her tensed skin with the back of his finger. "I was admiring you." he corrected. "And you deliberately invited me in."_

 _"I did not!" she giggled, failing in her attempt to show her surprise._

 _"All right, you didn't." He sighed dramatically, getting up after smacking a kiss on her cheek. "But we'll be late for dinner, sweetheart." He offered his hand and smiled._

 _"I know." She nodded and turned to him, grasping his hand with a hard hold.  
Maybe it was too hard because his eyes grew wide in worry and his heart raced even more when he saw her eyes close, her other hand gripping the edge of the bathtub, her breath forcefully slow._

 _"Cora, what is it?" He asked frantically, cupping her face with his other hand, trying to get her to look at him. "Cora, answer me."_

 _When her cold fingers moved from the white ceramic to cover his hand, his nerves loosened a bit, but still he was anxious to hear her voice.  
_

 _"I'm sorry, it's nothing." She reassured him, curling her lips into a weary smile that didn't quite convince him. "It's just my back. I have these pains since this morning."_

 _His jaw dropped and his thumb moved on itself on her temple and cheekbone.  
"Darling, why didn't you tell me? I would have sent for the doctor and-"_

 _"Precisely." She chuckled, relaxing again with a long sigh. "It's just a backache, nothing to trouble the doctor with." Cora turned her face slightly to kiss his palm._

 _"Well, just tell me if you're not feeling well." Robert caressed her lips and kissed her forehead._

 _"Promise." She added with a nod._

 _"All right. Let's get you ready for dinner." He offered both his hands this time, ready to help her out, but when she didn't take either of them, he knelt back down._

 _Her eyes were staring somewhere behind him._

 _"Cora?" He inquired again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that she was adjusting her legs as the water jerked awkwardly around her._

 _"I'm not sure," was her only reply in an awfully small voice._

 _Robert started to feel rather uncomfortable with her enigmatic tone and answer. The news of her backache that had troubled since morning made him wonder if her small appetite during luncheon and tea were other pieces of the puzzle. Was their family about to get bigger any time soon?_

 _"Cora, let's get you out from here first." He waved his hands, sighing in relief when she finally grabbed them. "I want you to lay down for a while." Hearing no complains from her, he was both eased and worried because she was admitting something may be wrong.  
Robert pulled the drain plug, making it easier for her to get out. He couldn't hide his smile when he finally had his wife safe and sound with him.  
Somehow having Cora standing beside him made him feel better._

 _Robert took the larger towel and laid upon her shoulders, starting to rub her skin to get her dry quickly. She was awfully quiet and he didn't talk, he wanted to have her on the bed as soon as possible._

 _"Robert, I-" He froze when he felt her fingers dipping into his flesh and saw her eyes growing wide._

 _"Cora?" Robert asked, puzzled._

 _With terror, he followed her gaze until he noticed a transparent puddle at her feet, obviously not originating from the bathtub._

 _"Oh, God." Robert muttered blankly "What is that, is- is that normal?" His lips seemed to be unable to close._

 _"It is, if you're ready to welcome a new screaming family member soon."_

 _"Oh God!" He repeated and his voice reached a pierced note._

 _Was it really happening?_

 _Robert gasped several time, incapable of letting a single word to take form.  
Should have he called for someone? Should have he fetched the doctor? And what about his wife? She should have stayed in bed!_

 _"I need to sit." She proclaimed, her voice flat and her eyes low._

 _"Of course, of course." Robert nodded, awkwardly trembling, as if his neck was having some spasm. He left her there without thinking of what he was doing, running to take the chair on which he laid the dress and the remaining towel. He dropped nearly everything on the floor._

 _"Cora? Wh-what are you doing?" He cried out, taken aback he saw his wife lowering herself beside the bathtub, her fingers clenching at its edge, knuckles nearly as white as the ceramic._

 _"Robert, the baby is coming." She panted, resting her forehead on the tub as well._

 _He dropped the chair and tried to swallow, focusing on his breath and his wife. Most of all, he tried to be helpful, but just didn't know how._

 _"Come, darling-" His breath was too short to let him finish the sentence, so he gestured that he wanted to lift her up, coming nearer and nearer with his fear increasing at every step he took. "I have to take you to bed and-"_

 _"No!" She shook her head furiously, eyes shut, her left arm waving in the air to ward him off._

 _Robert started to panic. What was wrong? Why did she say that? Wouldn't she be more comfortable in her bed?_

 _He drew a sharp breath, kissing her shoulder and draping the towel as best as he could on her back, so she should haven't been too cold._

 _"Cora, don't worry, I'll ring for-" He was already on his feet when he felt her strong grasp around his wrist._

 _She was pulling him toward her, hard. She was so strong that he felt immediately guilty.  
But what else could he have done?_

 _"You can't leave me here alone!" She yelled desperately, letting his wrist go only to grasp his jacket with growing eagerness._

 _"Cora, I just- I have to call someone!" He stuttered, looking down at her hand closed in a tight fist. She'd gained so much strength that it almost scared him._

 _"Robert, I'm telling you.." Cora paused to draw a husky breath, turning her face to him as her eyes threw flames. "Your baby is coming. Now!"_

 _"Cora, you can't be serious.." He mumbled in shock. What was he supposed to do? Assist his wife during the delivery?  
What did just happen? Only ten minutes ago, he was fine and happy with a healthy and quiet wife and a sleeping baby in the other room. Now his world was spinning so fast that he couldn't follow the pace._

 _"You're unbelievable!" She snapped. "I'm here about to give birth. In the washroom. On the floor. And the only thing you can do is complain!"_

 _Robert urged himself to breathe more regularly. He pressed his hands to his head, scratching nervously at his hair. What to do, what to do?_

 _He bit his inner lip, focusing on his panting wife, their baby and the best way to help her without ruining everything. Most of all, he focused on keeping himself sane as he tried not to panic, pushing the fear deep inside, even if he knew in his heart that he was already failing a little._

 _He was a man._

 _His task was to worry, as he had with Mary._

 _But the worrying thing had to be done far away from his wife, maybe in the library with a glass of liquor in his left hand and a cigar in his right one, staring at the clock and straining to hear every movement and sound. When it would have been time, he would have rushed into Cora's bedroom.  
He had to live all those moment as a man, panicking on his own. It was certainly not his place to be on the front line with a towel in his hands and his mind wandering wildly, making him imagine the horrible things he might have to witness._

 _He wasn't prepared. He wasn't prepared at all for that._

 _Why did no one come?_

 _Why did no one seem to hear Cora's cries?_

 _Did he do enough? Was Cora comfortable enough? He could only imagine how her knees screamed for her with only a towel between her skin and the cold floor._

 _What if he dropped the baby? Was he supposed to catch it?  
He knew so little and his thoughts were becoming ridiculous. _

_He shut his eyes, shook his head, getting nearer Cora and rubbing her back, whispering encouraging words into her ears._

 _He wasn't sure if she was listening over her moans but he kept talking, taking brief pauses only to check if anything had changed._

 _It had all happened so fast. Was it right? Was there something terribly wrong?_

 _His wife was twitching, squirming, panting and all he could do was watch her, powerless._

 _"Cora, it's just a matter of seconds. We need some help." He whispered again, rubbing her back with more confidence. "With Mary... we waited hours and- and-" Robert was about to list all the things they could have done since it all had started. He could have put her nightgown on, settled her in bed, rang for someone and sent someone to fetch the doctor. But, no, she didn't let him. It couldn't possibly be so fast!_

 _"Hush!" She growled._

 _The next thing he knew, Cora had thrown herself into his arms, digging her chin painfully into his shoulder. Her nails dug into his back.  
She was strangling him but he knew he better not complain. He just held her back, kissing her neck, rubbing her back and hips, hoping to ease her pain._

 _Robert shut his eyes when Cora screamed, a low cry from her throat.  
If only he could have closed his ears as he'd closed his eyes. _

_He waited with impatience, fright and agony until a small cry, so different and light, filled the room._

 _Cora's tensed body relaxed upon his chest and her breath grew more and more steady as he helped her to lay her back on the side on the bathtub, his mind running empty as he tried to decide the best thing to do._

 _Did he just witness his baby's birth? Did he just help his wife to deliver a baby into the world?_

 _He hurried to wrap the baby into a clean towel, gently rubbing its reddened skin as he slowly came back to his senses. This was his baby. His newborn baby. His newborn screaming baby._

 _"Cora, I-" His words died in his mouth when he turned to face his wife. Her pallor was fading away, her brows relaxing, her eyes glowing as she watched the little bundle in his arms. "I don't know what to say." He said sincerely, grinning with a bizarre expression that made her chuckle. "I can't quite believe what just happened."_

 _"Come." She said simply, just above her breath, as she stretched out her arms to welcome her baby. "What is it? Boy or girl?" She asked with the same tone, her eyes locked upon the baby's wrinkled face as its cries became soft whimpering and then quiet coos. "Robert?"_

 _"I didn't actually check." Robert confessed, his giggling contagious as Cora soon followed._

 _"Come on, darling, your papa just forgot the most important thing." Cora murmured to the baby, adjusting the towel so that the baby wouldn't be cold._

 _"So?" Robert asked curiously, but she remained silent, continuing to lull the baby with an absent smile. "Is it a girl?" He asked._

 _When Cora noticed the excited note in his voice, she dared to look in his direction.  
"Aren't you disappointed that it's another girl?" She tilted her head, holding the newborn close to her chest._

 _"Not at all." He declared proudly. "Since she has my colouring."_

 _Cora took a closer look at her daughter and giggled when she noticed Robert was right: blond hair, long lashes, gentle features._

 _"She has your chin." Cora beamed, touching her soft skin with the back of her finger._

 _"You did great, my darling." Before she realized it, her husband's lips were on her forehead. She closed her eyes, enjoying that tender kiss._

 _And that was it; their life was changing again. Once they seemed to get used to something, then things changed and upset their routine. First it was their marriage, then Mary and after that, the deaths of their beloved fathers. Now there was a new baby. What life had planned for them was a real mystery and they were both yearning to find out what it might become._

 _"I suppose Patrick Isidore is off the table, then." Cora chuckled, toying with the baby's little fist._

 _"I never liked it, anyway." Robert grinned, his finger ticking unnoticed a little foot that popped out from the towel._

 _"So, why did you suggest it, Robert?" She looked quite shocked. "I've always hated that name and I accepted only to make you happy. I almost gave my beautiful baby that dreadful name, Robert Crawley!" She poked him with her elbow, faking a hurt pout while he laughed happily._

 _"I'm sorry... I really don't know, my darling."_

 _"All right, then. Her nature is quite clear." Cora nodded to herself and then watched the baby as if that topic was meant only for them._

 _"Is it?" Robert enquired, snuggling his nose against his wife's warm neck. His arm went to rest on top of hers, holding the baby and his wife at once._

 _"She's quite a fighter." Cora paused and sighed. "For her rights and ideas."_

 _"How do you know?" he asked, sincerely puzzled by that statement._

 _"My, Robert. She had me give birth on the floor!" She stated, the obviousness in her voice._

 _"Correct." He agreed with a smile. He knew that well enough._

 _"She'll do things her way." Cora whispered, proud of her little blond girl running around the gardens with her pretty dress covered in mud, her happy face grinning at her, stretching her little arms to fold them around her neck._

 _"I don't think I can handle three stubborn girls." he teased, gaining a playful poke._

 _"Not that kind of stubborn, Robert." She giggled. "Headstrong stubborn, full of good deeds... I can see that. She's going to do great things... as long she'll do in her way."_

 _"All right, all right." Robert chuckled, realizing he couldn't quite comprehend what she was actually saying. It must have been the exhaustion talking for her. "Now we'll do things my way." He kissed her cheekbone and scooped them both up, carrying his wife and new daughter to bed._

* * *

 _18th July (3:00 am)_

Edith took the last sip of coffee, placing the mug on her desk. Her eyes were sharply focused on her typewriter, on which her fingers flew from letter to letter, fast and precise. The pads of her fingers hit the right buttons rhythmically, creating a relaxing, mechanic melody, interrupted only when her left hand rose up to push the cart back in position.

She was writing a letter to her publisher, saying that it was vital that her paper had the best material and the best ink. If the photo didn't appear clear, she begged him to print everything from the beginning. Money was not an issue at all. She would pay any amount, she specified, calling upon his good natured heart: a good, innocent woman was lost.

When she was satisfied with her letter, she removed the white sheet and folded it up, sliding it into an envelope, signing on the back with the loopy writing she'd inherited from her father.

"Laura?" She called, peeking out from her office, impatiently turning her head several times until she saw her co-editor running toward her from the corridor. Laura's open coat flapping behind her, along with her short heels hitting noisily the floor, her mouth gasping for air.

"I'm sorry ma'am!" She panted, reaching out for support, almost doubling over beside the wall. "Audrey is ill and-"

"Audrey is ill?" Edith asked in shock. The other woman nodded. "That isn't good." Edith growled, pressing her hand on her forehead.

"We have to rearrange the paper." Laura swallowed hard, shutting her eyes, trying to speak normally. "Just the two of us and then... I'll take the draft to the publisher so he'll can print it."

Edith nodded, led Laura into the office, showing her the empty chair under the desk.

"You're absolutely sure that it'll be ready for tomorrow morning?" she frowned "I have the photo, but I need the article and I still have to do some changes." Edith took a deep breath, shifting her weight from one foot to another. "Are you sure you can write a complete and detailed article about what happened, in time?"

"Positive." Laura glanced up at the tickling clock above her head. "We have one hour, after all."

Edith sighed. One hour.

It seemed a long time but she knew it was barely enough. They raced against time every day, yet this challenge was the most difficult task she'd had to deal with. But what else could she do? It was important that her next day's paper would show her mama's photo and her story, the dreadful news that had fallen upon the Crawley family. What if mama didn't know where to go? What if mama was too scared to talk or ask for help? What if someone saw mama and decided to take her safely to them? What if those criminals saw the picture and decided to back off for good?

Edith saw only positive things as outcomes from the article. With this kind of news, the other papers would have started to investigate themselves. It was a world of profiteers, but she couldn't care less if someone would eventually find something.

She needed all the help she could get and she would obtain it one way or another.

* * *

"I'm done." announced Edith after half an hour. "We have the front page and all you need for your article." She stated with a satisfied glance.

She was typing fast, her glasses on her nose and a cloud of white smoke constantly escaping her lips.  
"Terrific." Laura said blankly but Edith knew she meant it. She was just too focused to show her true happiness. "I'm almost done."

Edith nodded, wondering if she should have checked on her father, who was resting in the other room. She'd left him a couple of hours ago, urging him to take a nap on the couch in the break room since he categorically refused to go home when his daughter was preparing the paper that could save his darling wife.

She even asked herself if she'd done wrong, leaving him alone with the liquor cabinet on hand, but she thought it best to allow him to deal with his troubled soul as he wished. Maybe he could even be able to sleep for few hours.

Edith lost herself in her mind, lulled by the familiar sound of the intense typing, which filled her ears almost everyday. She mindlessly brushed her finger to the cheap paper they used as draft. She'd taped the article in the front page. Under the date and the paper's name stood the title, all in capital letters. 'HAVE YOU SEEN HER?' and right after in bold 'Lady Cora Crawley, Countess of Grantham is missing.' just above her mama's picture, big and neat, with some information and the linked page in the inside, currently empty as it waited for Laura's writing.

"I'm done." Laura proclaimed happily, pulling her sheet out from the typewriter, handing it to her boss, who proudly settled it in the blank spaces.

The draft now boasted a unique front page, impossible to ignore even among the other newspapers. It contained around seven pages of articles, one of which was the detailed story of her mother's disappearance.

"What do you think?" Edith asked impatiently, without raising her sight from the paper-to-be. "This could be our most daring edition..." She mumbled, resting her hands on her hips. Frankly, she didn't care.

"Are you afraid that the authorities will disapprove?" Laura asked, biting her lips. It was actually a risk to have the whole front page containing only one article. But it was an announce for a missing person, and she couldn't ignore the fact that the missing person at issue was also the boss' mother. Someone could said that Edith was using her paper for personal profit and they'd be charged with a penalty.

"Tomorrow they'll come here for sure." Edith nodded, without hesitation. "We'll have to pay a fine. But I honestly don't care." She turned on her heels, pouring another cup of hot coffee in her mug. " _The Sketch_ will be published and tomorrow morning it'll be in every London's news stand. The name Crawley is always news since my father married my mother in 1890, it's a safe approach."

"Wouldn't be easier to spread the news all over the London's papers? We could've sent Lady Grantham's picture all over and all the newspapers would have an article about her by tomorrow." Laura collected carefully the first draft, placing it into her bag to get ready to take all to the publisher. "You want the exclusive, don't you?"

Edith didn't like her tone at all. She had a grin on her lips, the sly grin of someone who wanted to show her approval around something that would not usually be approved of due to morality or other reasons.

Edith's eyes threw flames.

"I do want the exclusive, but not for the purpose that you're thinking, Laura." She hissed.

The woman had a mortified look upon her face. She had sounded particularly venal and frankly she couldn't reply.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"I don't want this to be common news." Edith cut her off. "We risk making it a big thing for a couple of days, tops, and then it'll fade away. If we publish this first, the other papers will start a race to find the newest details, photos, theories... They'll investigate on their own, trying to outdo the others. Instead of having us and the police searching for mama, we'll have the entire city: the papers, the envoys, the journalists, even common people that wish to sell what they could have seen to us. I couldn't care less about who's going to find her first but, trust me, this way, we will find her."

Laura was looking at her boss with pride. She was happy to work for her: she was smart and strong. Even if Edith didn't look like the best career woman, she had the best spirit inside. She'd grown so much, they both had. Now they could see the strategy beyond their business. After all, they were women. Who better to create the most powerful trick to get the men to their feet without them even knowing?

"We will find her." She repeated, daring a smile which Edith hesitantly returned.

"Fine, now go." Edith strived to keep her temper. "From now on, we'll do my way."

Laura nodded with a confident smile. With her bag securely on one shoulder, she headed to the publisher's office.

* * *

Edith woke up from her dreamless sleep with a curse on her lips that she didn't pronounce. Apparently she had moved in her slumber on her desk, and with her arm she'd knocked over her mug, spreading its contents all over her documents.

She did her best to save everything that could be saved and she frowned when she noticed that the only thing slightly ruined was one of the copy of the draft she always stored in her archives, the one she was supposed to show her papa as soon as she'd finished her job with her assistant Laura.

Edith sighed when she noticed that it was barely six o'clock and the papers wouldn't be sold before seven that morning. Had Laura made it in time? Why hadn't she called? Had something had gone wrong? Did the publisher refuse to print the copies? Did he want the money before?

She couldn't think about those questions now or she would go mad.

Edith rested her hand on her forehead, collecting the draft to take it to her papa. After all, she hadn't checked on him for quite a while.

She walked down the corridor, listening to her heels hitting the pavement until the trembling light of the mantel inside the room appeared on the floor right before her, partially shielded by the opaque door's glass. Edith didn't bothered to knock, for she could distinctly hear her father's snoring.

She smiled tenderly, as her mother's voice was sweet in her mind. Cora would complain when she didn't get to sleep because papa snored after drinking too much, usually after a birthday, Christmas or New Year's.

Edith tiptoed toward him and removed the half empty glass of liquor dangerously held in his hand, on the verge of being dropped on the carpet at the lightest breath. She curiously sniffed its content, taking a small sip before placing the glass on the table with a wince.

"Let's call her Edith..."

She jerked awkwardly when she heard her father mumbling her name in the silence of the room, interrupted only by the crackling fire.

"Edith." Robert whispered again and his lips curved for a brief moment into a happy smile. Then he frowned as Edith took a step closer.

When she was little, she often pleaded her mama to tell the story of the day they chose her name. She was charmed by Cora's voice, the way her papa choose that name, the way mama cuddled her, the way her newborn self giggled in agreement.

Edith cherished that story deep in her heart, remembering every detail that her mama told her over the years.

"What do you mean 'what does it mean'?" Robert's lips were slightly parted and Edith chuckled, silently mouthing the next words along with him, who was mumbling ridiculously. "It means 'prosperous in war', of course." She tenderly shook her head. Then mama told her how papa faked hurt feelings, remarking that it was Cora had first said that Edith was independent and a fighter. She always felt special when her mother told her they had almost fought about her name but she was equally happy they picked the right one: she didn't feel a proper warrior, of course, but in her little word of papers, news and selling, she did feel like a fighter.

Robert smiled again, bending his lips as if he was about to give a kiss to someone. Maybe to her newborn self, maybe to mama.

Edith heart tightened at the idea of waking up from that beautiful dream only to be thrown into that dreadful reality. Yet she had no choice.

She sighed, walking over him, taking a seat on the arm of the chair on which he was lying unceremoniously.

"Papa?" She whispered. When she didn't get any reply except for a single louder snore, she touched his shoulder. "Papa?" When even that failed, she shook him with both of her hands.

Robert jolted awake, blinking in confusion while his eyes ran wild around the small room, settling at last on his daughter's face. He seemed mad at first, but when his sight laid on Edith's face, he smiled and his hand went to cup the woman's chin.

"I was having the best dream." He whispered, his voice a little husky.

"I know, papa, I heard." Edith giggled a little when his cheeks turned bright pink, not because of the fire or the liquor. "I can't get why you're dreaming about me when you have a lot more lovely memories with mama alone." She sighed quietly, propping her back against her father's shoulder as she handed him the draft.

"Because you're doing so much, my darling girl. I owe you... everything."

Robert's hands were shaking as he held up the copy in front of him.

A white and black photo of his wife had been taped on the front page, Cora's name had been typed, along with her physical description, so accurate, perfectly matched with what she looked like in the image, one of his favourites, of Marigold's last birthday.  
He smiled, remembering her complaints when she realized he had the photographer take a picture of her when she wasn't paying attention, gracefully laid into a garden bench. Cora's eyes were lost somewhere, her lips curved into a lovely absent smile, maybe because she was watching her family playing in the grass.  
She was so beautiful.

She was so beautiful even in picture, he almost couldn't believe he hadn't seen his wife in more than a week; her eyes so blue, every time he closed his own.  
Her voice was so gentle, which he heard in every song on the radio.  
Her skin was so soft, which he pretended to rub while he laid in his bed, Cora's coat on the empty side.

"So what do you think..?" Edith asked anxiously, biting on her bottom lip.

"I think it's perfect." Robert whispered, clearing his throat so that his sobs wouldn't escape. "It'll work." He nodded, tightening his lips together as Edith's hand settled on his shoulder.

"It will, papa." She took a long breath. "Starting tomorrow, I have plans." Edith was about to tell Robert that his presence wasn't strictly needed, that maybe he needed to rest perhaps in Rosamund's company, but she bit her tongue in time. Deep in her heart, she knew her father would have never stayed away, not when mama was out there somewhere, just waiting to be found.

"We'll do it your way, won't we?" He took her smaller hand into his, rubbing her skin softly with a mysterious smile.

Edith didn't comprehend the words but soon her heart filled with pride because she knew how much her father hated to put his fate in the hands of others. He didn't believe in luck and he'd fought hard when his plans didn't match his colleagues' ideas. But now there she was, in charge of their future, his marriage, her mama's destiny. With the happiness of feeling trusted and important to her family, the great weight of responsibility followed.

* * *

 _18th July (morning)_

"Are you sure Lady Rosamund doesn't mind?" Phyllis lowered her lashes shyly. She was healing well. All was left of that dreadful night was a bruise on her shoulder and a not-so-working arm. The worst was behind and all she needed was rest and patience.

Of course Robert suggested that she and Molesley return at Downton to get a proper recovery, since none of them were needed to attend to only two members of the family, but both of them refused passionately.

"Yes." Joseph nodded, his fingers tangled with hers. "I asked her personally. I imagined you'd wish to stay for her Ladyship's return, which I feel won't be long now."

"I still feel a little guilty, you know?" She breathed. "I can't help it." A lonely tear escaped the corner of her eye and Joseph didn't think twice before collecting the shiny drop with his thumb. He smiled shyly, with an embarrassed chuckle and crimson cheeks.

Phyllis wanted to thank him. Still, deep in her heart, she knew that that strange sensation wasn't born out of mere gratitude, it was something more.  
She smiled tenderly, biting her inner cheek as he got closer, their hearts running and breaths broken.

"Miss Baxter?"

The sudden knock on the door made them both startle.

Molesley settled back on his chair, his face wrinkled due to the missed opportunity, embarrassment written in his eyes.

Baxter sighed, dismayed, a half smile curving her pink lips, hope sparkling in her dark pupils.

"Come in." She said kindly.

The door revealed a nurse carrying a tray.

Louise was one of the few kind people from the hospital. She liked her job very much and she loved dearly her patients. Phyllis recognised her gentle soul from the first instant and they became friends very soon during the days succeeding the operation; she also asked about Lady Grantham quite often.

"Good morning, how are you today?" The nurse said gently, placing the tray on the table. "Eggs and milk."

"Better, thank you so much." She replied.

"Good. As soon as you finish your breakfast, there are other two visitors for you."

Phyllis frowned. She knew that she was a difficult patient for everyone, having visitors at every hours of every day, police officers, journalists. An Earl and his daughter were a special case. Baxter never complained about having her small room crowded by people. She quite welcomed it, in particular when it was Lord Grantham paying her a visit.

No doubt Louise told them that only one visitor should see Baxter at a time. Surely they'd send Molesley in without a second thought as she ate her breakfast. Even in a time of deep sorrow, Lord Grantham understood love – the blooming ones, also – and now more than ever, he gave space to that feeling.

"Let them all in, Louise, please." Baxter omitted to tell her nurse that she would have been willing to eat later. The nurse sighed and nodded.

"Well, I have to set up the new bandages." Louise informed her with an ironic bow, heading to the small closet that kept everything she needed.

"I don't mind." Phyllis smiled, then she turned to Joseph. "Be an angel, Mr. Molesley, go on and call them in."

Molesley's eyes shone for a brief instant, his lips pecked a quick kiss on the back of her hand. Then he shot up, rushing through the door to the corridor, leaving the door half open.

Louise and Phyllis exchanged a look, the nurse watching her patient slyly over her shoulder. Baxter wore an elusive smile, her cheeks blushing.

"Good morning, Baxter." Robert smiled widely at the maid, but still something in his eyes was dark. His light blue iris had gained an everlasting shade of sorrow and despair. No matter how much he tried to smile or see things positively, with hope and faith, he failed. A shadow of misery that turned off the light in his spirit.

"Good morning, Lord Grantham." Baxter said kindly "Lady Edith." She showed them the chairs around the small room.  
Soon afterward, Robert, Edith and Molesley were settled around the bed with hopeful looks. "I guess you have some good news at last?"

Edith chuckled a little and offered her the folded paper.

"This is one of the first copies of _the Sketch_. They started to sell this early this morning." She instructed, bending expectantly toward the woman as she opened the sheets. "We thought you would want to see it."

Robert nodded along with his daughter, mirroring Baxter's smile as her eyes ran to the front page and the article's lines. It was almost as if he could see them all over again. He'd learnt every word by heart, every dot that composed his wife's image.

"The police officers are working in their field and my daughter is working in hers." Robert stated proudly "And I firmly believe that her way is more efficient now that... now that her Ladyship is somewhere out there." For a brief instant, his eyes wandered onto the sight of London outside the window.

No one said a thing.

They all left him alone when he had moments of deep melancholy, during which he just got lost in his thoughts; usually they didn't last long.

"What do you think, Baxter?" Edith broke the silence, squeezing her father's hand absentmindedly.

The woman nodded with a brooding face as she examined all the article word by word, willing to clarify if something was missing or incorrect, since that was the only thing she could do now.

"I think it's very accurate." She smiled.

Edith didn't quite get, though, why she was turning the pages several times like she was looking for a specific part.

"Is there something wrong?" The blonde asked impatiently.

Baxter shook her head.  
"Well, no, but-" Baxter turned the page again. "I think your employee did a good job but I can't find his name anywhere." Her dark eyes were puzzled.

"What do you mean?" Edith frowned and stood up, pointing Laura's name typed at the end of the article. "It's right there."

"No, no." The other woman shook her head, her heart squeezed in a sudden grasp. "The interviewer, that light-haired man. Loyce!"

A deadly silence fell in the room.

It was crystal clear that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

"Miss Baxter, no one with that name works at the paper." Edith's words sounded like hundreds of needles stabbing everyone's hearts.

"He was here and he knew things-" Phyllis' eyes were watering, copious tears dampening her cheeks. Did she help the bad guys again? Had she had been tricked again by the same man? "He said things, too-" Suddenly her nose trickled.

New tears rolled down her lashes at the memory of Cora's hand lotion, its smell so calming and familiar, reaching her nose, light and fast, as that man left the room.

She shut her eyes, hiding her face behind her hands.

"Baxter, what are you saying?" Robert spoke up with a weary voice. "This Loyce guy has my wife? He was one of the robbers? One of the kidnappers?" He was almost yelling now, his lips tight and his eyes were red. "Speak, for God's sake."

"Please, milord." Louise jumped in unexpectedly, swallowing hard, trying to protect her patient and friend. She understood the situation, as well as everyone else's feelings, too, and she couldn't quite blame them for their reaction. Still, she couldn't allow all the yelling and crying in the hospital. "I'm sure that-" Four pairs of eyes rose to her as the nurse held her breath, her sight locked to the front page of the paper, lying on the bed's cover "Miss Doe..."

"What did you say?" Robert enquired, his voice flat and commanding.

"Miss Doe." Louise repeated hesitantly. "She... she was here." She paused and took a deep breath, her voice crackled. "I thought I'd heard that name before, but I guess I was mistaken but now. That man, Loyce, came the other day to claim Miss Doe and he took her away."

"You're saying that my wife was here?" Even though Robert's eyes were shut, squeezed hard, everyone knew that that question was directed to the nurse, who smartly stayed silent. "You let her leave?" He yelled this time, making Edith and Louise startle; he'd became a ticking time bomb.

"We had no choice, milord." She cried, the weight of the guilt on her shoulders. "He knew things and he made her remember-"

"Remember?" Robert's eyes flamed as the dots connected. It was the explanation for not getting a call or news from Cora yet, why the nurse called Cora that curious title in the first place.

He couldn't believe his fate and didn't dare to pronounce his thoughts.

"It's all my fault." The muffled cry of Phyllis was the only sound audible for a long moment.

Molesley felt the strong urge to hold her, console her, yet his feet were glued to the ground. His ears rang and his head ached as he tried to process the great amount of information. It all seemed so absurd.

"We need to go to the police and give them his name." Edith spoke first in a low voice. "After all, this was useful in one way or another." She shook her head. "It is not your fault, Baxter." She whispered at last.

Robert followed his daughter, his thoughts spinning in his head fast as galloping wild horses, pumping into his temples, burning his eyes.  
How could anyone have been so blind and naive? How could Baxter let them fool her? How could she not recognise her torturers? How could the doctors let a random stranger take a patient? How could have shown that patient to him if they knew he was looking for a missing woman who was certainly looking for someone searching for her?

Robert felt like his head could burst.

"I thought you were more clever than this." He whispered between his teeth. No one in that room was certain to whom that sentence was directed. Maybe it was directed to everyone, including himself.

Edith shifted her hand on her father's arms when Phyllis' voice caught their attention.

She stood in the middle of her bed, her eyes wide and rimmed in red, tears still wetting her cheeks, her knees up, her fingers curling around the sheets, that phrase spiralling in her head again and again.

"It _is_ my fault." She barely breathed out, the shadow of an awful realization sparkling in her eyes. "Give me a pen."

Edith and Robert shared a puzzled glance.  
Louise and Joseph had the same look in different corners of the room.

They'd never heard Phyllis Baxter talk in such a tone, nor ever seen a similar expression painted on her kind face.

It was only when a pen was placed in her hand and the paper turned that everyone walked toward her, bending in a circle upon her fragile figure.

"What are you doing?" Edith enquired curiously.

"I know the name you have to tell the police. The right one." A lonely tear escaped her lashes and she wiped her cheek with the back of her free hand. "This is why it's entirely my fault." She sobbed lightly and scribbled something on a small empty spot on the paper. "He said his name was Pearce.. but- but it's just a nickname. And- and just switch the 'l' and the 'c' and you'll have your man." She drew a crackled breath and turned the sheet once again so that everyone else could see.

 **Peter Coyle**

* * *

 _What will happen now?_  
 _Leave a review and wait for the next chapter! See you soon! **  
**_


	11. Chapter 11 - Sins of the past

NdA: Hello Cobert fans, how are you? I'm happy to tell you that I'm working on two new stories. Well, the first one is quite obvious because we still miss a sequel of a certain trilogy and the second... it's not going to fit this fandom, but a very close one. _Try to guess!_ :)

As always, big hugs and thanks to all the people who reviewed (wow, you were so many *^*): Dream of Ragtime, Emma, granthamfan, lulin, Amiliana Martin, Countess of Cobert, eyeon, witchoesed, Mr./Mrs. Guest, sincyoufellinlovewithme & CountessCora, who is also my beta and to whom I owe the biggest thanks.

I know, it's a shorter chapter and it's Baxter-centric... tell you what, I'll make it up to you with the next chapter (I hope)! Title at the end of the page ;)

Tell me what you guys think & _enjoy_!

* * *

Chapter 11 – Sins Of The Past

"'Peter Coyle', miss?" The police officer studied the little piece of paper, trying to find any connection to that name. It did somehow ring a bell.

"Yes." Phyllis sighed.

"How can you be sure?" The man enquired with a critical look that was shared by everyone else in the room.

Robert's mind was racing wildly, trying to sort things out before the others, decoding whether the information would been useful to find Cora, whether she was safe it not, if their searchings were hopeless, after all.

"Because I know him, from a very long time ago." Her eyes slowly closed and tears escaped her trembling lids.

"What do you mean?" Edith's voice filled the air for a brief moment. Her brow was curled up into a fearful, angry expression in which Phyllis could read silent questioning.

"I am the reason why." She drew a sharp breath, sobs painfully trapped into her throat. "I met him when a was a young woman, during my first job as a lady's maid for Mrs. Benton and- he ruined my life since then. Lady Grantham's lost because of me, because of me knowing him."

"Are you involved with this?" A cold hiss that escaped Robert's lips and made her blood freeze into her veins.  
She shook her head violently, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"No! No, I swear! I would've never done such thing. Lady Grantham has been so kind."

"Then what?" urged Robert.

Edith readily enclosed her father's upper arms into her fingers, shooting him down almost instantly. It was a gift that only her mama had.  
Neither of them noticed that the officers had formed a small group in a corner of the room and that they were chatting closely, listing all the cases they could remember, involving kidnappers, blackmailers and every criminal charged for transgressions against the upper society, assaults, robberies…

"Peter Coyle!" The youngest voice of the group rose on the others and the room feel into an eager silence. The young man's eyes were shining with pride and happiness. "He has been processed not too long ago for an old crime. Remember?" He paused, waiting for his colleagues to show him any sign of memory concerning that case. "It was an odd trial. He declared himself not guilty until a witness arrived; the guy then change his version and announced himself guilty without even let the witness being presented to the court."

"What a mind, my boy." The officer in charge patted him on the back, nodding. "I do recall."

"Doesn't he belong in jail, then?" Edith was speechless, her eyes glassy as if she was reading a book, a fantastic novel of ironic games and mocked fates.

"If he is a runaway, we will have the files opened for sure. Now that we know that Pearce Loyce and Peter Coyle are the same man, Lady Grantham is one step away from being found. We just need to find the address and-

"This is unbelievable." Robert hissed, his yell floating into the room. It fell on a deadly silence that no one dared to break. Other searches, other 'maybes' and 'perhaps' just to wait longer and wait while Cora had been there, just few feet away from him. She'd slipped right through his fingers once more, so close and yet so distant. "You're just a bunch of fools! I'm going to find my wife on my own."

No one made a sound.

* * *

 _23th September 1892_

 _Her slender fingers smoothed the black fabric of her uniform. Even though it was an impersonal dress, the same as every maid, Phyllis always tried to arrange it to her taste, adding some lace and small ornaments that could have gone easily unseen. She fixed her hair, tightening the chignon that kept her brown, waved curls in place. She always liked to be impeccable, whether it was a common day of work or a special one where the Benton family had guests._  
 _Phyllis had worked there for no more than a couple of months. Despite her youth, she was assigned to the job of lady's maid, her first position of that calibre, having worked as a simple maid for her entire life for various families around England.  
She was a kind girl, loved by everyone upstairs and downstairs, which gave her the motivation to serve the family to the best of her ability, as well as to help her colleagues. Phyllis was friendly and tireless, the perfect worker in every account._

 _Phyllis reached the common room and smiled at the two footmen enjoying their free time before the preparation of the dinner. It would have been quieter that day because only Mr. and Mrs. Benton were at home, as the children were spending the month in Switzerland._

 _She looked up at the old clock and realized with a relieved sigh she that she still had a lot of time before her mistress would need her. Phyllis made a note in her mind to remind herself to ask the cook if she could help with something later._  
 _In the meanwhile, wishing to not interrupt anyone's free hour with talking about work, she decided to take a small walk in the gardens and enjoy some fresh air._

 _Her smile grew wider when she saw the two people with whom she bonded the most. They were about her age, perhaps a bit older. The two footmen stood still, leaning against the brick walls, one facing the other, smoking a cigarette, laughing and chatting heatedly._

 _Phyllis could foretaste the joy of taking a stroll with them while discussing funny things about the richest men in the surroundings. They always made her laugh with their stories. Sometimes she firmly believed they invented some of them, but she frankly didn't care because she just loved being in their company – especially the company of one of them._

 _She carefully approached them from behind, biting her bottom lip as she prepared the best way to scare them both, when their talking became more audible._

 _"Before Phyllis brought her up her tea this morning, I put some ash over her biscuit." said the taller one._

 _"Oh you didn't!" the other one burst into laughing. "Well, after all, it's nothing compared to what we'll do tonight.."_

 _Phyllis froze on the spot, her eyes growing wide and her heart pumping fast between her ribs. They were playing games on their masters, dangerously putting her in trouble. She felt a sense of protection toward her mistress as well as toward her job, she didn't know to react._

 _"Peter! Roger! You should have never done that!" she yelled furiously, her fists tight at each side of her waist._  
 _The two footman almost instantly stopped to laugh, jumping straight on their feet, tossing their cigarettes simultaneously aside._

 _"Phyllis!" Peter's hand flew to his chest. "Dear Lord, you gave us a fright!" They started to chuckle one again._

 _"This is not funny!" Her face was serious, which didn't produced the least change in the men's behaviour. "How could you do this to Milady? To me?"_

 _Roger sighed, still smiling, walking nearer her with a fake apologetic expression._

 _"C'mon, Phyllis, I'm sorry. It was just a joke." He put his hand on his heart to show his regret "We all know she never touches those biscuits."_

 _Phyllis made no sound. It was true. Mrs. Benton disliked those cookies but the cook insisted to serve them with her tea every day, so Phyllis accommodated her. Little did the cook knew that most of the biscuits ended up into some bird's tummy._  
 _"I could've gotten into trouble because of you." She muttered under her breath, crossing her arms on her chest._

 _She was younger than them, but they still sometimes seemed like immature children who didn't know when to stop their games._

 _Phyllis sighed._

 _"You're right, of course." Peter sighed louder than her, a fake, annoyed look on his face, that caused a small smile on the woman's lips. "No more tricks to anyone of the family."_

 _"Cross your heart?" Phyllis inquired, her chin slightly up. They could tell that her anger was already gone._

 _"Cross my heart." he repeated, drawing a small rood on his chest with his finger, readily mirrored by Roger._

 _Phyllis nodded._

 _"Well," she walked right between them, throwing a playful and fond glance at each of them, just before letting her hands slip under their arms. "Now, you must beg for my forgiveness, which I will allow only if you'll tell me some of your stories."_

 _"Good!" Peter shared a complicit glance with the other lad. "Roger, tell her about the Wilkes."_

 _"What about the Wilkes?" Phyllis asked almost instantly, her eyes shining with curiosity._

 _"Another couple of cousins are getting married this winter." He said under his breath, a malicious chuckle escaping his mouth as he spoke._

 _"Oh, tell me more!"_

 _It was a strange family with generations of couples formed by cousins in love, and yet the news of another marriage of the kind was always a little scandalous between the lower classes, who of course never wasted the chance to talk down the richest members of the society. It was a fun, harmless hobby, popular since the world had been created. Phyllis thought that nothing of great evil was hiding behind it; yet she did not know that it was just the tip of the iceberg._

 _Phyllis was feeling terribly tired that night. Her eyelids threatened to fall at any moment, her feet seemed to burst inside her little shoes and her limbs were terribly slow and heavy. Yet she was walking, or better climbing and dragging herself on the stairs to reach the upper floor, where she might find what she was seeking._

 _The butler called for her during break time before the night routine, informing her that Mrs. Benton was cold and wanted her shawl to be brought to her in the library, where she and her husband loved to entertain themselves for a while after dinner. Often they just sat quiet looking into the mantel, or reading two different books that Phyllis and the valet would've brought up into their rooms, but that night was the night of Phyllis' first mistake._  
 _She hated it and she felt guilty._  
 _Her heart pumped in her chest, her mind scolding her, asking her why she didn't think of that before. Why did she let the mistress have to ask for the shawl when Phyllis should have provided it in the first place._

 _She ran and ran through the corridors until Mrs. Benton's room._  
 _Phyllis wasn't certain where she saw the shawl last. Her mistress habitually carried her favourite one around the house; many times she found it in the most peculiar places. She was sure that she had folded it up just before the 5 o'clock tea and put it into the closet. Yet it wasn't there._

 _A curious feeling began to spread inside her and tears started to gather at the corner of her eyes. She was scared of failing her mistress, of her disappointed glance even though she knew it was only about a shawl. Deep in her heart, Phyllis knew that no one would punish her for not finding it. Yet her mind kept telling her that she would fail at her job if the shawl was not found. It washer only job to take care of the mistress of the house, the kind woman who gifted her with the highest of the honours and trust._  
 _Phyllis couldn't let that happen._  
 _She started to search in every closet and drawer, behind the extra blanket folded at the foot of the bed, in every spot it could've fallen until she found it._

 _She looked at the fabric with blurred eyes, incapable of explaining why all of that mattered to her so much, the reason why a simple piece of misplaced cloth could upset her like this, bringing tears to her lashes, making her fingers tremble. Whose fault was it? Her own for taking her job too seriously?_

 _"Miss Baxter, did you find-" The butler's severe voice called to her from the corridor. Phyllis turned sharply in that direction, just in time to see the man's shocked glance wandering around the room, which had been totally turned upside-down._

 _"I couldn't remember where I last put it." she sobbed, handing over the shawl with a mortified look._

 _"Clean up this mess at once, before milady comes here." He ordered just before walking back into the corridor._  
 _Phyllis drew a sharp breath and closed her eyes for an instant, listening to her heartbeat slowly settle down before she started, folding and accurately putting everything away. It didn't take her much time to bring the room back to its normal appearance, and she thought she could've spent some extra time rearranging Mrs. Benton's jewellery box, since her mistress often complained about its clutter. Maybe she could make up for her mistake with the shawl by tidying the jewelry._

 _She piled up rings and bracelets, paired the earrings and dusted the necklaces, until she saw a forgotten velvet choker at the bottom of the box; its stone so shiny that it looked like a mirror in which Phyllis could easily see her face! At its sides were rows of waved little diamonds that created a flower design. It was truly beautiful, but she had not seen it at her mistress' neck even once._

 _"You would be beautiful with it."  
_  
 _Phyllis startled, her fingers almost loosing their grip on the jewel.  
"Peter!" She hissed. "What are you doing here?" It was so odd for a common footman to be on the upper floor, especially at that time of the evening._

 _"I was- looking for you." He said, leaning against the doorframe. "You seemed upset before."_

 _"I forgot her shawl." She said in a small voice._

 _"Her shawl?" Peter inquired._

 _Phyllis nodded, lowering a guilty face._  
 _"Yes, I know." She paused and took a breath. "It's silly but I can't help myself. I can't let her down."_

 _Before she could've even realized, Peter was with her in that room, his warm fingers beneath her chin, wiping away the remaining of her tears._

 _"You can't go on like this." His voice was caressing and she couldn't do anything but get lost in those grey eyes._

 _"What should I do, then?" Once she had shaken the fright off, Phyllis' voice was ironic now. She rolled her eyes and turned herself to the vanity, placing the necklace back in the box. But in an instant before her fingers opened to let the item fall back to its place, Peter's hand covered hers, reinforcing her grip._

 _"Keep it." He said simply, his breath brushing her ear._

 _"What?" Her eyes grew wide in shock, her throat went dry: he wasn't joking, she could see it. "What are you doing?"_

 _"I bet she almost caused you a heart attack." His voice was flat and Phyllis didn't dare to speak. "This job doesn't suit you. It's all about taking care of others and letting them down is a real issue. It can happen and you must accept it."_

 _"But I can't." She clenched her jaw, her eyes about to blur again with new tears._

 _"Then leave this job." Peter was smiling now and his smile was reassuring and beautiful. "Follow me, I can give you the escape you need. I can't witness your undoing." His voice trembled for an instant._

 _"Peter, what are you asking me?" Her brow wrinkled. She would've followed him to the edge of the earth but she still feared the consequences of her actions. Her heart was screaming inside her ribcage, yelling her to follow Peter because they were both young and thirsty for a life they would never have inside a house as servants. Yet her brain shouted back, telling her that it was a bad idea, that a doubtful future was never the answer, that an infatuation could've been often mistaken with love._

 _"Come with me. We'll run away, tonight." He took her hands in his, the necklace between their palms. "Come with me and I will give you anything you want."_

 _Phyllis remained silent for a long period, not knowing what to do. Was she really going to throw her life away in a blink of an eye, in the name of a dream of love, which of her naïveté persuaded her of endless possibilities and fates?_

 _"But this is my life, Peter. Taking care of people is what I do, a maid is what I am." Her sight became clear again, her eyelids wiping the tears that had gathered inside away out with quick blinks._

 _"You can take care of me." he readily answered and with a smooth and gentle motion, raising both her hands to kiss her skin. "Will you come?"_  
 _Phyllis was silent, yet her hopeful and shining eyes talked for her._

 _"When?" She shyly asked._

 _"Take some of these and meet me at servant's door. I'll take the loot and I'll wait for you at the port. You need to attend Mrs Benton for the night so she won't be suspicious, and I'll have some time to arrange a clean escape."_

 _"Stealing from her?" Phyllis shook her head, her mouth opened in shock, unable to cope with the suggestion. "Oh, Peter, you can't ask me that. Anything else, but not that!"_

 _"You have to!" His hand went to grasp her shoulder, without pain but still very rough. "We need something to start. I swear it to you, we will never do something like that again after tonight. The Bentons are filthy rich and these jewels are nothing but trinkets for them, we will bring no harm."_

 _"Peter.."_

 _"You served others your entire life, Phyllis, as I did. It's time we do something for ourselves." His hand brushed her skin gently up to her neck. "Maybe we'll fail and within five months, we'll serve another family, but we could say we tried. This is our chance." Their eyes locked for a long time, their heartbeats melted at once, or so Phyllis thought as she looked at his face, smiling back at him "So, will come with me?"_

 _"Miss?"_

 _Phyllis looked down toward the voice. Her sight was blurred because of the rain and tears she was trying to ignore. She almost didn't understand that the person who was talking was nothing more than a child; he must have been around eight years old. The worn and damp jacket lifted up to protect his head betrayed his poor origins. "Miss Phyllis?"_

 _She nodded, a puzzled expression spreading on her face._

 _"Yes?"_

 _"A man told me to gave you this." The boy raised up on the tip of his toes, showing a piece of paper folded into his palm._

 _"A man?"_

 _"Yes. There were two men but just one talked to me about an hour ago." he explained. "He said I would have to wait an hour before giving this to you, that you would have been here the entire time."_

 _It was clear that the man was Peter. But what about all that mystery? Maybe he had troubles. And what about the other man? Could have been Roger, come to pay his farewell?_

 _Phyllis thanked the boy, her hopeful smile colouring her pale lips as her cold fingers tried to open the paper._

 _ **You were comet out high revel.**_

 _She stared at those odd words which reminded her of happy times with him, nights of secret dances and chats. She thought about the word 'comet', a passing star, becoming a melancholic image flashing before her eyes._

 _He had taught her so well, during those game nights, that her mind quickly solved one of his beloved anagrams in a heartbeat._

 _He'd tricked her, betrayed her and she was an idiot._

 _Phyllis could almost heard his sardonic laugh in her ears, laughing at her, at her foolishness._

 _What would she have done, now?_

 _Rain was pouring into her open hand, washing away every letters drop after drop._

 _All alone, Phyllis swore she would have never let anyone make fun of her again. Those words were still swirling into her head._

 _ **I thought you were more clever.**_

* * *

Poor young Baxter... Now, ready to see how's Cora doing?  
Wait the next update to find out, in the chapter called 'Echo from the past'.

Leave a feedback please, thank you! :)


	12. Chapter 12 - Echo from the past

NdA: Hello hello :) quicker update this time! I thought that the previous chapter would have been a flop becuse it was all about Baxter but I'm happy to say that I was wrong XD anyway, back to our Cobert storyline; hope you'll stay tuned because we're close to the core of the story, but first..

Big, big thanks to all the people who reviewed the previous update: Emma, Dream of Ragtime, witchoesed, sincyoufellinlovewithme, Countess of Cobert, ohtobealady & granthamfan.  
And of course thanks to CountessCora, for being such an amazing beta!

 _Enjoy_!

* * *

Chapter 12 – Echo From The Past

Two days had passed since she first walked inside that house, right after the accident.  
She had been treated kindly ever since and not once had she thought about complaining over anything. The house was rather small. It had two floors with three bedroom upstairs. There was also a dining room with the kitchen hidden behind it, a small door, a library which also displayed art - quite cheap, she could tell, but still with a charming design - and a music room that also served as a sitting room for guests. Not that any guests had been there in the two days she had been there. The lack of guests seemed rather curious: didn't they have any friends at all? Hadn't they been able to make some friends in the neighbourhood? She couldn't marine being alone in the house for all that time, surely she had made some friends... And even if she was mistaken, what about their friends from their previous house? Surely they had to know someone. Was not even a distant relative asking for her?

Cora felt lonely.

Even if she was often was surrounded by servants, maids during the day, Pearce and Roger during the evening, she still felt forgotten.

The men were out all day, doing God-knew-what and the maids were too busy keeping the house to stop and talk to their mistress. The only person Cora spoke to was Mrs. Russell, the housekeeper. She was a brunette woman with gentle brown eyes, at least ten years younger than Cora herself. Mrs. Russell looked at Cora quite enigmatically, even though Cora didn't know why. It was getting really frustrating.

Her life came down to a peaceful but boring routine, hours spent embroidering or reading the same book over and over in the library – the only one that created the slightest interest in her – eating her meals at the grand table with lots of empty chairs, sipping her tea in the garden, under the rosebush - rather neglected to her taste - while comfortably leaning on a white iron settee, nestled into a bunch of soft pillows of the same colours.

She was waited on hand and foot by everyone. They treated her nicely and she spoke with grace whenever someone talked to her. On one hand, she was like a princess and yet she felt so empty, miserable, without a purpose. She missed something desperately.

"Do you need anything else, Milady?" Cora startled when the voice of the housekeeper interrupted the absolute silence in the room.

"No, thank you." Cora smiled gracefully, yet her eyes were full of a sadness that no one seemed to notice.

"Pardon me if I scared you, Milady." Mrs. Russell attempted a shy bow as she handed the needlework to the countess. The younger woman's face was significantly preoccupied as she studied Cora's face before stepping closer to the door.

Cora stood still, breathing quietly. She wanted to asking why Mrs. Russell was acting so mysterious. Didn't she have the right to ask?  
"Mrs. Russell?"

The woman turned hurriedly. Could she be frightened? Had Cora treated her unkindly before the accident?

"Yes, Milady." The other woman was perfectly still, only her eyelids were moving, quickly up and down.

"I was wondering why you kept staring at me." Cora began, blankly. "Is there something wrong?" She tried so hard not to sound too harsh, but these words seemed nearly impossible to speak in any other way.

"I beg your pardon, Milady." Mrs. Russell attempted a shy smile. "I didn't mean to offend you, I'm just worried for you."

Cora frowned.  
Was the housekeeper the only one that truly cared for her?

"Oh." She smiled tenderly. "There's no need, I'm perfectly fine now. Just a little confused because of my complete lack of memories."

The other woman smiled sympathetically.

"I'm glad, Milady." She paused. "But, frankly, my worries about you, are far older than that. I never saw you until about a month ago. Mr. Loyce told me you were sick in bed and I wasn't allow to enter your room. No one was, and I was really worried; I have been for a long time. Seeing you up and well after that horrible accident and after that whole month in bed shocked me. I think I am still concerned now." She chuckled. "I think I'm afraid of you falling sick again, Milady, and I do not want that."

Cora was left without words. It was the spontaneous and sincere sentiment for which she longed. She didn't care if it was from a maid, because she felt loved again. Someone wanted to protect her.

It was nothing like her husband or Roger, who smiled at her and demanded nothing more than a kiss on the cheek when they came home every evening.

"You're a kind woman, Mrs. Russell." Cora's eyes were watery and she tilted her head in a sign of her deepest gratitude. She would have held her hand if it hadn't been an inconvenient gesture. "Thank you."

"Milady." The woman bowed again, but this time her face bore a relieved and happy smile. "Lunch will be served in half an hour, Milady."

Cora nodded with a tender smile, watching the woman leaving the room.

The truth was that Cora had left her work in the library on purpose, just to have the chance to speak with someone, even for few moments. It allowed her a chance just to ask someone to bring it in the music room and her prayers had been heard.

She felt a warm, familiar sensation in her heart. Had she seen Mrs. Russell before, despite what the housekeeper said? Could it have been someone similar to her, who once cared for her the way Mrs. Russell did? Perhaps her dreams and reality were melting into a one big skein of knotted crewel from which it was impossible to untangle.

She missed so much of her life that if she thought about it too much, her heart was gripped into a painful hold of fear and emptiness. She didn't remember anything about her parents, family, or childhood. There was no recollection of the time of her engagement, nor of London or her previous house, nothing about the people she'd met before the accident.

She was starting a brand new life, as a newborn might, with the only difference being age. Cora's memories and past were hidden deep in her head, right behind some invisible wall of indestructible material. It was a twisted thought, but it was the truth.

Cora was the only one stopping her only chance to remember, and yet nothing of that remained inside. All felt new and foreign.

She felt wrong.

It was wrong when she walked down the stairs in the morning, for her feet remembered a different path along the steps. When she ate by herself, had her tea alone with biscuits she didn't quite like, prepared for bed, all felt wrong. She searched without a solid reason for her missing earrings, necklace, or missing braid on the pillow behind her head. It was unfamiliar when she stretched in the bed, when it felt so terribly big and empty... yet she felt repulsed at just the thought of her husband next to her.

Cora felt wrong in all the ways in which anyone could feel it.

She felt peace only a few times during the day, when her activities were hauntingly familiar. Sewing relaxed her, reading distracted her, walking in the garden filled her lungs with positivity and warmth. She had thought about having a walk in the park behind the house one day, but having no one to accompany her always discouraged her from trying. It didn't seem right to walk she would have felt wrong in walking without a strong arm to hold.

If only she could have changed these things! She had all the solutions in her own head.  
She didn't know from where they came from, they just existed.

Cora was able to embroider a pillowcase in less than a day of work, without even knowing nor remembering how. Her fingers worked so smoothly when she didn't think about sewing, they followed a path that her head didn't recall, creating flowers and patterns a birds and things that made it hard to believe it was her own work.  
It was all inside her, somewhere.

Just as in the case of embroidering, she knew she would be able to regain some of her life. She knew that. She hoped so, with all her being.

She got the chance to remember when she least expected it.  
While her hands were working quickly and precisely on her embroidery, she let her eyes wander over the room, the piano and the paintings which might have shown a relative, as with the stately torso that could be of a famous commander died heroically during some war. Cora discarded any idea of trying to play the piano because she couldn't recall knowing any songs. She continued to look through the room, but it felt like a museum dedicated to a forgotten artist instead of the music room in her own house.  
And she felt lost and lonely again until she saw what a beautiful day that gloomy Sunday 19th had become.

What had started as a rainy and chilly day despite being the high season had turned into a quite warm day with a wild wind that shook the tops of the trees with powerful strength. Outside the window, there was a storming ocean of green leaves and flowers. Cora wished she could smell the sweet perfume of the cherry tree blossoms as she followed the two lines of pink flowers along the road with her eyes gazing upon them.

Cora sighed and laid her eyes upon the light blue house that stood next to hers on the same side of the road. The music room was in front of the other house's library, for what she could see: high shelves full of volumes that vanished beyond the window's length, up to the ceiling, next to a big table scattered with other books and papers.  
It took Cora quite some time to notice the little figure that completed the painting.  
It was a little girl, about six years old, with bouncing blond curls and a pretty yellow dress. The girl was waving at her direction with vigour, her little face frowned, as if she was losing hope of being seen. She had probably taken a break from her studies and let her childish curiosity work to get Cora's attention.

Cora looked around carefully to make sure the girl wasn't waving at someone else. She might have waved at friends in the streets. She raised her right hand, shyly waving back at the girl.

The girl instantly smiled brightly, mouthing the word 'hi'.

Cora thought she was very cute and friendly and immediately mouthed the same word herself. Then the girl ran away in a hurry.

She imagined the girl's mother or tutor had called for her. Cora was left alone yet another time, with a bitter taste in her mouth. For some absurd reason she liked the sudden interruption of her routine and dark brood. Perhaps if she hadn't spotted the little girl, she would have drowned in a land of emptiness and sorrow, giving up hope… perhaps that girl had saved her from herself.

Cora looked to the window again to silently thank the girl, surprised to see her again. She held a squared paper proudly in her hands, pressed to the glass with eagerness. She'd written 'I'm Wendy'.

For an instant, Cora saw a similar paper in her memory. It was blurry but she could see a childish drawing on it, that bore a woman, man and tree in smaller figures. It faded when she blinked.

Cora looked for a piece of paper and a pen big enough for the girl to see.  
She didn't know exactly why she found that game quite amusing; she felt like she had to play with the girl. To neglect her would have been like ignoring her own child. Cora couldn't stand it.

Cora thought about Wendy during her lunchtime and she went to rest that afternoon with her face in her mind. That little girl communicated something to her; her smile was peaceful, her innocence relaxing and calming with a spirit quite energetic and happy, her bright eyes had had the power to sweep away all her troubles even for a while.  
Cora hoped she would have seen Wendy again before tea. Maybe set would have the opportunity to sneak into the neighbour's house and invite the child and her parents for tea.

Stealing a child who wasn't her own made Cora quite desperate and lonely but still she couldn't feel completely guilty about it. She needed that kind of thoughtless love, pure and bright.

Yet afternoon came, and her yearning eyes didn't lay upon anything more than the empty library, perfectly tidied up.

When Mrs. Russell came to call her for tea at five, she hadn't had any choice but follow the housekeeper into the garden and let herself fall into the settee under the rosebush. She had to admit that the taste of the tea and the smell of the flowers calmed her down.  
Her half-asleep mind wandered through the day; the kindness of the maid, the spontaneous behaviour of Wendy as she spoke through that papers and barely readable letters, telling her she was studying maths and was good at drawing before showing her her stuffed animals and her favourite teddy bear.

Cora felt like Wendy was giving her with a part of herself, while Cora had nothing to give in return but a smile and a chuckle as Wendy proudly declared herself the best singer ever.

Cora smiled absentmindedly, falling into a soft slumber. But a second later, her lids fell down completely as a high-pitched voice came from behind the fence and caught her attention.

She awoke straight away. With a smooth movement, she placed both her feet down in the grass, placing the cup on the little iron table next to her. It was coming from Wendy's house and Cora imagined that the girl was talking, or better begging someone for a reason she didn't quite comprehend.

She didn't think twice before stepping toward the house's dividing fences, until she found a tight section where the plants didn't grow, which let her see everything that was going on inside.

"But you promised!" Wendy said, crooning on every syllable, her hands pulling a man's jacket. He was around thirty, probably her father.

"I know I did, love, but I can't. The work-" He hadn't been able to finish his sentence before a footman, elegantly dressed up, called him to pick up the phone.

"But it's the perfect time for my kite to fly!" added the girl, wisely using a hurt voice. "It's just a quick stroll to the park, papa, please."

Cora could heard a peculiar shadow in Wendy's voice, the one that a child would have used to convince a parent to do as they wished. She didn't know how she knew, but she did.  
And she wanted to help. Mostly because she felt sympathy for Wendy, but also because she knew how sorry her father felt. After all, she didn't have anything better to do...  
"I can take her." Cora raised her voice so that they both could hear her.

Wendy and her father both turned toward Cora. The girl with an amused, bright smile and the father with a more confused and cynical one.

"Cora!" Wendy squealed happily her name, running toward the fence, her sadness and disappointment faded away all at once.

The woman smiled back to the child and lifted her sight to the man, showing him one of her best reassuring and kind smiles.

"May I ask who are you, ma'am?" He frowned.

Cora sensed he didn't want to offend her, that his question was made out of curiosity. It must have been quite strange having his daughter calling to a total stranger with such energy.

"My name is Cora." She said, stretching out her arm as much as she could. "Loyce." She added, the word slipping out of her mouth with the same pain of a knife pulling out of her flesh. She felt guilty. Poor Pearce did nothing bad to her and yet she felt some kind of repulsion at the thought of him.

"I've never saw Mr. Loyce's wife." The man commented, raising for a moment his eyes to her house, to her window in particular. "It's always has been closed."

"I've been sick." Cora said automatically, recalling Mrs. Russell's words. She wanted to add something about her kidnapping and her stay at the hospital but she didn't want to upset Wendy. "Anyway, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." she said gracefully.

The man took her hand, shaking it since it was impossible for him to kiss her or salute her in any other way.

"Pleasure it's all mine, ma'am." He was finally smiling. "So, how did you two meet?" He asked, picking Wendy up in his arms in order to address the question to her as well as her new friend Cora. Wendy started to chuckle, while Cora renewed her smile.

"It's a long story." She sighed with a chuckle.

"Mr. Banks!" A male voice came from inside the house. "The phone!" Wendy and her father both sighed in yielding, as a scene they were both used to.

"I have to go." He said sadly. "Your nanny just left. Perhaps tomorrow, love."

The girl nodded with a long breath.

It broke Cora's heart.  
"I can really take her to the park." She interrupted. "I was.. just about to take a stroll to the park myself."

"Oh please, papa, let me!" Wendy immediately caught the occasion and started to plead her father once again.

"We will be back in an hour, won't we?" Cora reached for the child's hand, pulling out yet another kind smile which was quite impossible to ignore. Mr. Banks seemed on the edge of saying yes.

"Please, papa." Wendy's pleading eyes were too much for him. Cora couldn't resist that face herself.

"Mr. Banks!"

The man nodded.

"All right, you two." He sighed, placing the child down once again. "Come home before dinner or your mother will be very disappointed. Don't forget your aunt Jane is coming to visit." The girl nodded with enthusiasm. "And behave well."

"Mr. Banks!"

"Coming!"

As Wendy's father ran inside the house, both Cora the girl had reached the gates of the home and walked hand in hand with the kite's tale sweeping the road as they headed to the park.

Cora contentedly watched the girl playing happily with other children. She laughed and chuckled with them, even if from a distance, trying to avoid conversation with their nannies, who were chirping on a bench nearby. She heard that they were talking about her, inquiring whether she was Wendy's mother, or aunt, or friend.  
Cora let them talk, asking herself that exact question. What was she? Clearly Wendy's friend, but what more, when the only thought of labelling herself as her husband's wife gave her chills? Was she really nothing?

She sighed, a terrible weight pressing on her chest as fear and anger assaulted her in waves. She tried to calm herself down, raising her chin, letting her eyes wander on the blue sky, white clouds, leaves, all so small and so far away, dancing at the wind's will. Then there it was, the yellow kite, chasing others with loopy flips.  
It was calming. For a moment she wished she could turn into a kite, free from the troubles of the earth, free from that string that kept her from flying away. Cora was tied down by her own mind, her missing memories, her now blurred past.

"Wendy!" she called for the girl without even thinking, her lips moved on their own. She wanted to go home, even if that place was just a safe place were she could drown her problems in some needlework or some books, forgetting all about her wobbling life without past and unknown future. "Wendy, darling!"

The girl recognised her voice only at Cora's third try, but as soon as she understood, she ran to her, waving her farewell to the other thought she was an obedient child.

As Wendy ran happily to her, her curls flopping on her shoulders, Cora didn't see the London's park anymore. In its place, she saw a big, green hill, with tall grass, yellow in flashes, with beeches and oaks all over, majestic and protective as the girl hopped, her kite in her hand. Instead of her yellow dress she was wearing a blue one, the skirt over her knees, her socks white and thick to cover her bare legs.

For a moment that lasted no more than an instant, she felt that the girl she was seeing was hers. She would have run into her open arms, holding onto her neck as she lifted her up to bring her home. The dream child's name tickled on the tip of her tongue, without being able to pronounce it correctly. She saw a temple and an ochre castle before a squeeze on her hand made her blink that thought away. It faded into the air like a breath and she hadn't been able to catch it back.

Wendy was looking up at her, her tiny hand gripped steadily into hers.

"I'm ready." The girl declared and Cora nodded, absentmindedly, asking herself if the images were just the product of her imagination or if they were indeed memories of a previous life. She had children? She had had a child? Why wasn't she there anymore? That thought scared her more than her ignorance on the subject. Cora promised herself to not think about children anymore because perhaps her lack of memory was a blessing that bore the loss of a child.

She began to walk slowly, following the girl's pace, nodding happily and smiling when Wendy started to tell her about her games, the other children she met. It distracted Cora from the deep abyss into which she was often about to fall. Cora felt constantly on the edge of something, whether it was good or bad. She was scared of remembering something she would not want know, remembering something false, twisted by her own mind, discovering truth and secrets that would have put her in danger or into a darker place where she wouldn't been able to find the dots to connect.

Cora increased her speed without even realizing it, but Wendy did not complain, taking that challenging race as a funny game.

By the time they reached the park's gates, Cora was out of breath, as was the girl. But Wendy chuckled and her smile infected Cora in the best way.

Her heart slowed down as the both of them started to walk again, toward the road that would bring them home.

It was nice until a chill ran along Cora's spine, making her stop suddenly, so strangely that Wendy stared at her with puzzled eyes, not knowing why her friend bore such a blank expression on her face, her pale lips parted and her shining blue eyes that looked like diamonds the most of the time had turned into a delicate grey with only the reflection of the sky colouring them.

"Cora?" The girl pulled shyly her hand, first slowly, then with strength when she saw that her action didn't make any difference. "Cora?"

"Yes, darling?" Her voice was flat as a flitter.

"What is it?" Wendy added her friend, but she received no immediate answer.

Cora seemed to stare at the void, back into the park, where dozens of children, men and women were walking peacefully minding their own business; it was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Nothing." She said with the same tone, then attempted a smile which was nothing like her usually warm kind.

Wendy didn't say a thing, she just walked by her side, holding onto Cora's hand as they crossed the road.

* * *

His sister told him to take a walk outside, free his mind, hold to a regained hope, sweep all the negativity away. Even if he thought it was all a bunch of nonsense because he, at this point, was beyond help. But Robert did take a walk along the chaotic and crowded road of London, that big city of opportunities that was nothing more than a cage to him. Oh, how he longed to come back home, how he desired to sleep in his own bed, to sit down on his chair in the library with his dog to keep him company. Yet his heart broke every time he thought about home, a home without Cora.

She wouldn't be at his side, under the bedsheets at night. She wouldn't be there in the library, pleasantly surprising him with a quick kiss on his cheek as she passed by. She wouldn't be with him in their home, and that idea was the worst of all.

Edith still had hope, Rosamund too. Why couldn't he trust his family? His world had fallen into a black hole from which it was impossible to escape.

Only Cora could've been able to drag him out. Only Cora, with her melodious voice and her soft hand, only Cora with her shining eyes and warm hold that screamed home.  
Robert tried not to let the tears stream down his cheeks as he thought of her, constantly, dearly, essentially.

He drew a deep breath, closing his eyes. When he realized he'd walked too far from Rosamund's house, he found himself walking down a block in which he didn't recognize a building or a shop. His eyes flew around to look for some landmarks, but he didn't find any.

He decided to hail a taxi on the other side of the small park that was across from him.  
The sound of people talking comforted him, as did the children's laughter that was ringing in his ears, melting with the birds chirping and barks of happy dogs. It was an idyllic place and yet he couldn't catch the beauty in it. He felt terribly sad and hopeless.  
It reminded him of Downton, somehow, with its green garden, full of children during the fairs, endless games and vendors with drinks and sweets to eat. Some of the passersby even looked like the people who lived in Downton with him.

That comforted him, too, making him feel nearer to his house. It reminded him of times when there was a festival, wisely organized by Cora, his sweet Cora, with the footmen serving the food and the maids playing with the children, the village and the ladies... his daughters, elegantly seated on the benches, talking and laughing as the warm wind caressed their skin. There was even a woman that looked like Cora in the distance, walking calmly down the path. She was holding hands with a little girl, and in his mind, he imagined her to be a servant's daughter. Cora held the girl's hand in hers as she told the little one stories to make her eyes open in wonder.

Robert smiled tenderly, feeling the softness of Cora's hair under his fingers, dark and curly like the woman in the park. He didn't even blink when she turned, revealing his wife's gentle and beautiful face, for his mind had played so many tricks on so many faces when he thought about Cora so intensively for a long time.

He waited for the image to blur away. He waited for that graceful face to fade and to turn into yet another disappointment, into yet another common face that was foreign to him... but the seconds passed and nothing changed.

The woman bore Cora's preoccupied expression, her magnificent blue eyes lost somewhere in his direction, but without spotting him.

He was petrified. Could it have been his Cora?

He tried to call her, but his voice was so weak that not even the person next to him could heard him.

Robert didn't even question the blond girl at her side.

That must have been Cora.

 _Cora, Cora, Cora._

For how long had he not used that name?

He'd seen her, after all that time. He'd lost her, found her and lost her again. And now there she was, beautiful and safe, right in front of his eyes.

Robert started to run, as fast as he had ever done in his entire life, his wife the only thought in his mind.

He jumped over a bush, ran into a group of people without making any excuses, as Cora grew more and more real in front of him as the time passed by with every stride he'd made.

"Cora!" He yelled again, desperately, but a car's honk covered his voice with a perfect timing.

Robert stepped back just in time: the car had missed him by a hair.

He held his breath, his eyes now eagerly still on the road, waiting for the traffic to vanish. Once it was over, he would see his wife again on the other side of the road. His lips moved quickly to mouth the words "Let her be Cora." Because he'd found her now. He'd seen her with his own eyes. He might be able to take her hands for the first time in days, make her remember, bring her home.

Because he'd found Cora and he couldn't possibly lose her again.

* * *

 _Cameo hidden in the chapter from a movie I deeply love :) bonus point to who guess which (?)_  
 _Wait for the next chapter ' Justice be done'. Yes, it is what it looks like!_

 _If you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)_


	13. Chapter 13 - Justice be done

NdA: Hello hello :) I guess everyone's waiting for this chapter in particular. Yes, it's going to be satisfying - oh well, I hope at least.

First of all, I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed the previous chapter: lulin, Emma, Dream of Ragtime, eyeon, CarlisleandEsme, witchoesed, Amiliana Martin, Countess of Cobert, granthamfan & sinceyoufellinlovewithme.  
Of course many many thanks to **CountessCora** , who took care of this chapter!

The cameo was from Mary Poppins, kudos to everyone who guessed right! Also, yesterday was Julie Andrews' birthday so I feel particularly happy :)  
Since we've almost reached the 100 reviews (wow *^*), let's play a little game, shall we? The 100th reviewer will get a spoiler for the next chapter!  
 _Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favour!_

 _Enjoy_!

* * *

Chapter 13 – Justice Be Done

Everyone was taking good care of Phyllis Baxter, which made Molesley very pleased. However, at the same time, the other servants were utterly and envious of her special treatment. She was the one who let the Countess be harmed, as the gossip said, still the fooling the family who cared for her in such a manner, such as providing her with the best medicines, offering her the best room with the most comfortable bed to sleep in. The footmen and maids highly doubted that she was the only one who could've saved the Countess.  
But, after all, desperate times required desperate measures, such as completely relying on a maid with a dark past who was quite likely the cause of all the trouble.

Hatred was spreading on the lower floors of the house like a plague. She who once was the most loved maid in all the houses in which she worked was now was the most detested.

The family knew, but couldn't care less.  
Rosamund had threatened everyone with a certain sacking for every slanderer. As a result, in a very short time, the whispers against Baxter had been confined to dark corners, late at night, for mere chatting.

The mistress of the house cared much for the kind Baxter and she couldn't deny that she felt a sort of liking for that misunderstood woman.  
When Edith suggested having a chat with her, just the three of them in the living room, Rosamund didn't complain. She allowed the inured maid take a seat on the armchair near the mantel, while she and Edith were on the couch in front of Baxter.

Baxter's arm was in a sling, tied up around her neck to let it heal in the best way possible. She was propped on the big chair with her legs straight in front of her, running along the curves of the chair itself, appearing like a child waiting for her punishment.  
She wasn't at ease; it was blatant that she felt guilty and unworthy.

"Miss Baxter, you don't have to feel unconformable." Edith spoke with a low voice, offering her a cup of steaming tea, which Baxter refused with a polite smile and a shake of her head.

"Don't think I'm ungrateful, milady." She replied. "But I feel like I'm abusing your kindness. Unfairly, utterly unfairly." Baxter added sincerely.

"Oh, will you stop, Baxter?" Rosamund cried out. "You're boring me." She took several sips from her cup and put it on the silver tray on the table between them. "My brother's sanity and my sister-in-law's life depends on you. At the moment, you're the missing link between them. You're injured. As far as I know, Lady Grantham was- _is_ very fond of you, not to mention that I'm in charge in this house and I can do whatever I want. So please stay still, recover and tell us everything we need to know."

Phyllis stared at the woman with a mortified look. She knew, deep inside, that Lady Rosamund hadn't meant to scold her. On the contrary, the lady of the house was perhaps even trying to encourage her.

Edith nodded reassuringly, giving Baxter a smile that soothed her distressed spirit.

"Of course, but I've told you everything I know, milady, I swear." Baxter said in truth, begging for the women to believe her. It would have been much easier for everyone to just accuse her of collaboration with her old enemy, even more so after what she'd told the police.

"There's just one thing." Edith put down her cup, shifting on the edge of the couch to be closer to the maid, her elbows resting over her knees in an unladylike manner.

Rosamund rolled her eyes – she'd told her niece how much her manners resembled that of a man as time had passed and she grew mire independent through her job and behaviour. It was a low class one, but Edith did not want to listen, so Rosamund had just given up.

"What thing, milady?"

"Well," her brows furrowed as she wished she had her notebook at hand to jot things down and eventually connect the dots. "This Coyle knows everything about us, while we just discovered him." She stepped up, starting to walk slowly around the couch as her mind worked. "Supposing he is the same man who kidnapped my mother the first time, we missed something very important about him."

"I'm not following you, milady." Baxter confessed, slightly shaking her head and searching Rosamund, who appeared as puzzled as she was, for any indication of understanding. But she had no clue as well.

"He asked for a ransom, didn't he? It's the main reason why we are here, my father and I." Edith stopped walking, leaning both her hands over the back of the couch. "Where's the ransom this time? Why is he keeping my mother with him, without asking for money, trades or whatever he desires?" She paused, shrugging her shoulders. "It just doesn't make any sense. Why is he doing this?"

"I have no idea, milady." Baxter drew a deep breath, fighting back tears that stung her eyes. "That man is unpredictable. Maybe he's just taking his sick revenge out on me."

Edith let a frustrated sigh escape her lips. She genuinely couldn't stand another speech about guilt and victimization from that woman.

"Where's my father?" She added with a whisper, glancing up at the clock. Since he'd decided to conduct the searchings by himself, with his family, he too often he wandered along the streets of London, only to come back home hours after the fixed time. "I hope he has found something this time."

"He better not," commented Rosamund under her breath, but still not low enough for Edith to miss it.

"What did you say?" Edith immediately enquired, staring at her aunt with a glance of fire.

"He- may.. he could find-" the red-haired woman stuttered, avoiding eye contact with her niece.

"Aunt Rosamund, do you know something we don't?" Edith's voice was flat and demanding. The woman tried to change the subject, but she just couldn't find anything important enough to succeed. She felt trapped, even if, she knew that she was completely on the right side.

"I was simply-"

"Aunt Rosamund." Edith spat, walking in front of her, grasping her shoulder with her fingers. " _Please_."

"It's a hopeless case, my dear." Rosamund's voice had changed completely from her usual enthusiastic pitch to a low and sorrowful tone. Her eyes had begun to shine in a pale grey. "At least for now. I think it wiser to wait for your mother to gain her memories back, because-"

"Aunt Roz, what are you talking about?" Edith clenched her jaw painfully, her lashes moving quickly to wipe out the tears escaping the corner of her reddened eyes.

"You don't want to know, dear, not now. I promise the matter will sort out itself." Rosamund's eyes too went watery as she patted her niece's hand with her own.

The blonde shook her head, a disbelieving expression spreading across her face.  
"I won't let you be until you'll have told me everything. Everything." Edith's grip grew stronger.

The woman sighed, closing her eyes with an absentminded smile across her thin lips.

"You look more and more like your Granny." She said with half a chuckle, then took a bitter breath. "There," she tilted her head to her side, gesturing to the bureau under the window. "First drawer. The key is under the inkpot." Rosamund instructed, unable to open her eyes, which were hidden behind a hand placed on her brow in a movement slow and dramatic.

Edith rushed toward the desk, trembling from head to toe, trying to imagine what sort of dark secret her aunt was hiding.  
"I cannot believe this." She muttered under her breath as her fingers attempted to insert the key in the tiny hole.

"It arrived this morning, and-" Rosamund sighed bitterly, moistening her dry lips with her tongue. "It leaves very little to the imagination." She swallowed hard. "This Coyle knows what he's doing. He wants Cora to be his safe passage into society and your mother will provide it for him. Robert can't do a thing or he'll be exposed and ridiculed. He set us up." Rosamund finished as Edith read the letter, her eyes running over the words.

"Mama would never-" She gasped, but the evidence was too much.

"Your mother is nothing but a pretty doll now. He convinced her that she's _his_ wife." The red-haired woman spat. "And you can only imagine Cora disobeying her duties with her husband. She simply can't, whether she remembers who she is or not. She'll do whatever Coyle will ask her, it's in her blood." A solitary tear was streaming down her cheek now, carrying with it a small trace of rouge. "What if your father does find her?"

A deadly silence followed before Edith crumpled up the letter into her fist, raising her eyes to her aunt, only now realizing what she was saying, why she kept that secret.  
"Mama could reject him."

"And then all will be lost." The woman added, her voice awfully flat. "We need to be patient, as painful and absurd it may sound. Unless Cora gets her memory back, we're stuck."

There was no point in pouring salt in the wound. Robert was a lost husband with no power over the matter. His own family had to lie to him for his own good, enhancing his hope of finding her, while the real hopes were only for her to regain her memory as soon as possible.

Phylllis Baxter had been there the whole time, but just as a tongueless phantom in a corner of a room, torturing her very soul. She cried silently over her spoiled life that had affected so many others. It was all because of her.

She should have known that Peter had aimed for something more than money. She should have known that if Peter had the chance, he would never loose it. If he was even a foot away from entering society, stepping over others being the easier way, he would have thrown away all his previous plan and catch the opportunity of ruining lives for mere fun and having, as a reward, a better life for himself.  
As long as Lady Grantham would have been useful, as long as she played along, she would have been safe.

Phyllis feared for the moment when she wouldn't be useful anymore. The moment surely would come. Was it a race against time? Was it a race against Coyle? How could they win if the weapons were not in their hands?

"We're powerless, then?" whispered Edith, just above her breath.

"If your mother would have been another woman, of course, your father could just force her to return home." She paused "And we both now that it's not the right way to get her back."

Edith wished that that was the solution to their problem, yet Rosamund was right. They couldn't have risked the beginning of another sinking marriage in the family just for a mistake of timing.

"Papa mustn't know." She breathed out, exchanging quick glances with the other woman in the room.

The deal was sealed: they would not speak of that letter from Coyle to anyone.

The grandfather clock barely had struck seven when the door flew open, much to the surprise of the butler and the women in the room.

Robert appeared, his coat in his hand, cheeks flushed and breath short as his lips bent into a bright smile that hadn't crossed his face for a very long time. He rushed into the room and stopped in its centre, the words almost bursting out of his mouth as he had no control over himself.

"I found her!" He shouted. "I found her and I'm going to get her back!"

* * *

"Slow down, Robert!" Rosamund stuttered, panic spreading inside of her.  
She tried so hard to delay as long as possible, but there he was, yelling about his newfound wife, telling them about his plans to bring her back home.

"I came here to take you, Edith, dear." He spoke as enthusiasm rushed as a river in flood stage in his voice.

"Take _me_?" Edith stared at her father as if she was seeing him for the first time. He was no longer the man who cried every night over his wife's coat or stared into the void with an absent smile while he remembered the past. He was no longer the angry man who yelled at everyone, hiding behind a thick armour to cover his fragility and broken pieces. Robert was reborn now, thanks to the vision of his wife.  
He'd seen her for a moment, but it had been enough to lighten up the dying flame of his forgotten hope. Just when he'd thought that everything was lost, he'd found her.

"I want that bastard in jail." He clenched his jaw, shaking his head to focus only on the brighter side: Cora would soon be in his arms again.

"Robert, you can't-" Rosamund stammered, hurrying to make eye contact with her niece.

"Papa, please." Edith placed her hand on her father's shoulder, gripping it until he finally stopped his frantic movements, taking a seat on the closest chair. "Mama won't remember us." She said, her voice as cold as ice as she turned her deepest fears into spoken words.

"I-I know." Robert nodded, a grave voice escaping his lips. "That's why I need you to come with me. She was with a little girl and... I bet she reminds her of you." His words got lost in the air as his mind flew back to the image that was still vivid before his eyes.

"What if it doesn't work?" The blonde woman's voice trembled awfully.

"Well, it's at least worth a try!" Robert barked, his mood suddenly changed, his once pacific eyes now throwing thunder.

Silence followed for several minutes.

"If Coyle's with her, he will never let us speak with her." Edith mumbled, returning to her pacing back and forth on the carpet behind the sofa.

"Why not? She is _my_ wife!" he yelled again. Robert's hands were trembling furiously over the fabric of the chair, his nails digging into the cushion every now and then. He was shaking out of anger and frustration, appearing to be on the edge of falling apart, yet he was determined and lucid.

No one had the heart to tell him the truth, that Cora – for now – was not his wife, but somebody else's. She had to be reclaimed with patience and trust, not with an act of force. But how could Edith tell her father that he needed to wait for his wife? Wait even longer when she was in an other man's home, playing his wife? Wait because his lost wife was the only one who could solve the situation?

"Papa, we can't waste this chance. It's the only one we have."

Robert stared right into her eyes. They were both on the edge of crying, fighting back tears in the name of something greater. It was not the time for despair, but for action.

He had been wondering why Edith was not bursting with joy as he did, upon learning of his discovery of Cora. She was alive and they were only a step away from bringing her back home. Yet now he understood and was happy that Edith had the pragmatic side of the journalist, the bigger picture all inside her head. She would prevent him from messing things up with poor judgement.

Edith had done an amazing job with her paper. She knew everything about London, with all its tricks and weaknesses, and he relied blindly on her... he had to.

"So what are you planning to do?" He asked, anxiety growing inside of his heart.

"I know you won't like this, but we need the police." She stated carefully, but even her most polite voice was not enough to stop the wrath that invaded Robert.

"That's out of the discussion, Edith!" He shouted, rising onto his feet. "I will never ever involve those idiots again-"

"Papa!" She raises both her hands, furrowing her brows. "How do you plan on arresting him?" She paused, drawing a deep breath. "We need them."

"Look what they've done, Edith!" His face was turning into a mask of sheer desperation, tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. "They'll blow everything up again..."

"This is different, papa." Edith's voice was now full of hope and a small smile was hidden behind her lips.

"How- how's it different?" He questioned, taking her warm hands into his cold ones, begging her silently to think on his behalf, to show him the right path.

"Mama's out there, you saw her." Edith whispered, almost if saying it too loud could've brought bad luck. "We need that man out of the game. We can't spoil this. We need him in jail first." She spoke calmly, pausing between every word.

"You don't have enough proof." Baxter's weak voice raised like a shattering glass over the room. "Peter's smart, he won't let you take him... nor the police." Her brown eyes were frozen on the black ashes of the mantel, cold and empty. "You shouldn't underestimate him."

Edith turned her head to the woman like a fury, almost throwing flames through her eyes.

"I think he's underestimating _me_."

* * *

Edith spent the whole evening and night at the newspaper office. She was neither writing nor setting up the next morning's paper.

She was in the great hall, usually designated for meetings with her staff, the strategist of a world built on mysteries, news and tales written and told in the most charming way possible. The journalists were the silent owners of the whole city, the best minds on the market, passionate storytellers of daily thrillers. They hungered and thirsted for the sound of the typewriters noisily hitting the paper, ringing under some expert's fingers.

They planned and shared their ideas all night, as the room filled with cigarette smoke and piercing smell of alcohol. But no one was drunk or unfocused. All they could hear was their boss when she spoke with knowledge.

Only adder the night had passed and the sun was about to peek from behind the highest buildings of the city had Edith reached her conclusion.

She picked up the phone as Laura took charge over the paper for the day, telephoning the youngest member of the London police, the only one who was smart enough to support her plan.

As in the way she ran her paper, she wanted only the best. She would not be satisfied until she got it. Getting her mama back was her priority. Once again, everything was was in her hands. She would never forgive herself if that one last move, so close to her mama, failed. Even the slightest mistake, from her colleagues, or especially from the police, could cost her family everything.

She'd learnt from the last source that Coyle was not a fugitive. He'd served his time in jail for the Benton's robbery. They needed a more refined plan to frame him, which they eventually found together, but it proved to be complicated and hazardous. But it was their only chance of success.

They set up the meeting at 16 Cherry Tree Lane, the same day, which was the 20th of July at five o'clock on the dot. Edith, her father and the police waited by a paddy wagon with bars, because they were absolutely sure that it would be needed.

* * *

 _20th July, 5:00 p.m._

Edith grasped her father's jacket at his elbow.

They'd rung the red brick house's bell for a couple of minutes and even from the street they could hear the movements coming from the inside. It was easy to imagine a butler informing Coyle of someone at the door, then they saw the man standing and discussing it, maybe torturing his soul and then staring himself in the mirror to show the guests all his cold blood. They didn't dare imagine Cora, maybe leaning against a couch like she had every day at Downton, a sewing work between her hands. She would tilt head gracefully to one side as her eyes and fingers moved accurately over the fabric.

They held their breath when the door flew open and a man who corresponded to Baxter's description walked casually over the path of stones toward them.

He was dandyish, an elegant appearance and a friendly smile painted across his lips.

Robert needed all of his strength and good will to not to punch the man in the face and rush into the house to take Cora back.

Edith knew, so she stayed with him the entire time, tightening her grip to make sure that her father followed the plan without a single hitch. It was so vitally important.

"How can I help you?" Coyle said with a joyful voice, smiling at them both with an irritating expression of superiority. He was used to winning, it was clear... but did he know who he was talking to?

"I believe you have something in your house that you shouldn't have." Robert replied calmly, chanting every word. He was striving not to yell at the man, to keep himself on the polite side, as Edith told him, and his effort was clear and sincere.

Coyle immediately changed his expression, his smile turning into a smug grin while leaning his elbow on the fence.  
"I believe you should go now." He whispered back, making an ironic wince.

"I won't leave, Mr. Coyle." Robert stated, stressing his name wisely "Give me my wife back now and I promise-"

"Get off my property." Coyle cut him off, stepping toward them with a jump, forcing them to back up.

Edith swallowed hard. Things were not going as well as she had thought. Their first priority was to keep Cora safe and unaware of the whole situation, as upsetting her could have been fatal. So far now, Coyle hadn't given them any choice.

Robert and Edith stood still as the police arrived from both sides of the streets, four in all, with the younger officer in the first line.

"Mr. Coyle, you're under arrest for trespassing, fraud and kidnapping." He declared, showing him the handcuffs.

Coyle attempted a little chuckle of incredulity, backing into the garden.

"This is ridiculous." His eyes darted between all the people in front of him. "You have no rights!" He yelled.

"Mr. Coyle, we simply tried to save more trauma to the woman whom we believe is now inside your house. You would have been arrested anyway. You're accused of being the man behind the Crawley kidnapping case, occurring on Sunday 12th." The policeman briefly stated, but Coyle shook his head, a nervous laugh escaping his mouth.

"You have no proof!" Coyle declared, a wave of regained confidence inside his voice.

"We have testimony, actually, who was shot and passed out due to the wounds. The victim claims to be able to identify the criminals, having clearly seeing their faces."He paused, approaching him and lifting the handcuffs. "You will be presented to court and processed."

"That's impossible! She's lying! I was not in London that day, I can prove it."

Edith sighed relieved, the enormous rock lifting off her chest and shoulder as her fingers loosened their grip on Robert's sleeve: her plan had worked.

"You'll be escorted to the Wandsworth Prison on hold for the trial." The policeman declared victoriously, binding up his wrists before Coyle could even said a word.

"You're making a mistake!" Peter cried, dragging his feet as the two other officers pulled him toward the van.

Edith and the policeman shared a satisfied glance. They'd spent hours trying to find a way to use Coyle's own strength against him. The best way to succeed was to put the squeeze on him, so they faked their advantage by telling him he was already under the law's custody, even though it was a little lie. If he thought he was already proven guilty, when he tried to defend himself, he would provide the evidence in giving to the neutral witness the policeman had talked about the feminine pronoun. It was sufficient proof to testify that he was the one who shot Baxter, the one who was in the Crawley's house that night. He would end up in jail after Phyllis Baxter – and hopefully, Lady Grantham herself, once she regained her memory – would testify in front of the court. The nightmare started more than thirty-five years ago would come to an end.

"Search the house." The last order was given and the remaining officers didn't hesitate to rush inside while Robert and Edith stood quietly beyond the fence.

Robert stared at the building with his heart in his throat. He waited and waited for Cora's graceful face to appear, perhaps behind a window or behind the front door, with her swirling coat around her body. Maybe her hair would be down, combed into a loosen braid like when they were in bed as her shining blue eyes looked right at him. Bedtime was the exact moment when he knew her beauty blossomed in simplicity in the weak light of the candles. No fancy clothes, not elaborate hairstyles, no jewels... just her and her smile as most precious accessory.

He waited, with his lips parted and his broken breathing ragged in his threat, until the front door flew open again. Up came the officers, their arms gripping a man, furious in his wiggling and twisting.

"He's injured!" A policeman yelled loudly so that the officer in charge could hear him.

"It must be the other one! The Elbridge Unit* said there was a shooting on the 16th, someone had been hurt." He replied back. That was the night when Cora had been found in the filthy basement of the abandoned house. All the dots had been finally connected properly.

There was just one thing left behind. But, sadly, no one had the ability to rectify it.

Some people were yelling, while still others repeated laws and rights. Passersby chatted and gathered at the corner of the street, lured by the great hustle.

Yet, through all that noise, a gentle voice, weak and melodious, was capable of rising above all.

"What's going on?"

Robert immediately turned his head back to the house to see the slender figure of Cora coming out from the door. She was wearing a coat over a long, purple dress, the hem above the ankle, very similar to the one she had during the war. Her waistline wrapped into a belt of the same colour and her hair was combed in a loose, low chignon that let her natural waves to show on one side. She was truly stunning.

Robert felt like he was laying eyes on her for the first time.

Oh, how much he missed her.

He had to call upon all his will and self control not to run to her and take her into his arms and hold her forever, never let go again.

How much he hoped for her to look at him! By the shining of her eyes, it was clear to Robert that she found her memories. Like in a dream, she might have rushed toward her family to go home, once and for all, leaving that nightmare behind.

Her eyes, however, weren't for him.

She wasn't running to Robert but instead to that other man. Her expressions weren't of happiness but despair and confusion and fear. Maybe her world was once again being turned upside down.

"Roger?" she cried, chasing the three men who clumsily approached the fence.

"Sorry, love," The man chuckled, a wicked grin crossing his lips as he was dragged into the van with Coyle. "At least we tried."

Cora froze in the middle of the yard, her fists grasping onto the lapels of the brown coat she was wearing, untied and flapping behind her in the wind.

"Officer?" She shouted, ignoring both Edith and Robert, who stood still in front of the fence. They were unable to talk, as their minds were suddenly blank, fogged up by the mix of happiness and the fear of having found her but in a state they didn't expect.

The policeman shared a quick glance with Edith before approaching Cora, removing his hat and placing it under his arm.

"Ma'am, you should go inside. Those who claimed to be your family were actually your captors." He spoke calmly, giving her time to process his words. "I know it's upsetting, but I can assure you that it's all over now." He dared to place his cold hand upon Cora's shoulder, giving her a reassuring squeeze. " _They_ are your family. Your husband and daughter." He said, turning a little and indicating Robert and Edith with his arm.

Cora said nothing.

Neither did the policeman. He just put his hat back on, gave her his farewell and joined his colleagues into the van. After it was gone, the streets were quickly clear again.

* * *

She was staring at the man and woman before her. They looked so familiar and the memory of them, walking hand in hand out from the hospital, came to her mind with a wave of emotion. Cora remembered how she wished they were their family, she remembered how much she wished for a man like him to be her husband and for a woman like her to be her daughter. And there they were, claiming indeed to be her husband and daughter.

But for however much she wished all of it was true, they were nothing more than strangers to her.

Robert couldn't hold it any longer. Profiting from a moment of Edith's distraction, he easily freed himself for her weakened grasp. He stepped with a few long strides toward Cora. He held her without thinking twice about his action, smelling her sweet perfume for an instant as he slipped his arms around her body, over her hips, where they belonged. It was a perfect fit, two pieces of a puzzle that had been together for over 35 years, separated but now reconnected. Everything seemed back in its place.

However, it was soon unlike anything from their past. It was nothing like he imagined. Cora was stiff as a piece of wood. Her tiny hands were pressed on his chest, trying to push him away. Even if she wasn't screaming with her voice, her frightened eyes did on its behalf.

He stepped back, his arms empty once again.

Robert knew that the woman before him wasn't his Cora. She was just a person who looked like his wife. While her spirit was trapped inside, just like when she was captured, and striving to find the light, she was gone.

"Cora," Robert began, but he found himself incapable of speaking. A storm of emotions crowded his thoughts with the eagerness to tell her everything. He wanted to fall onto his knees, beg for her forgiveness and implore her to come back home. Couldn't she remember at least something about their love? Robert didn't care if he made a fool of himself if only it would have been useful. The fear and the horror spread inside of him because he knew he could have spoiled that moment, his only chance, forever. "Please." He whispered, swallowing hard. "Trust me, _us_. Come home." He begged, stretching his arm toward her, his palm facing up, longing for her fingers to tangled with his.

Edith was witnessing the scene with a painful grip upon her heart. She'd sensed her father's suffering for so long, as she herself had suffered. Edith had long hoped, prayed and begged for help... she'd worked so hard and now she was seeing the results.

It was all up to them. Their responsibility was clear. It was in their hands whether or not Cora would decide to come home, or otherwise, or if her life would have been rosy, from that moment on, or if she would have gone to ruin.

Edith was so afraid of spoiling everything now that they were so close. She couldn't help but think that a misplaced word could have been the tiny line between the success and tremendous defeat. And most important, had her father already spoiled everything? When he had hugged Cora, at least she hadn't screamed. It must have meant something, after all; or so she hoped with all her heart.

Her mama hated to be forced into anything. Aunt Rosamund was right about that one thing.

"Please.." The blonde spoke without even realizing. She gasped when her lips caressed that word and her heart skipped a beat when Cora's blue eyes rose to meet her own.

Edith could feel Cora's confusion, fears, the dark memories linked to her experience that now was the only background she had. Oh, how much she yearned to hear her mama's voice, just for an instant. How she hoped for her mama to pronounce sweet words, telling them she would come, she would follow them, she would trust them blindly because her heart was telling her to, like in a play or in books. How many stories had she published into her novel section of the newspaper, where lovers and family reunite based upon the power of hidden thoughts and sentiments.

How much she wished for the real life to be the same.

They were both eating out of her palm, waiting for any sign from her, positive or not. They were just wishing for something, be it joy or a fight... so they would realize how to act accordingly.

Robert held his breath when Cora's lips parted, and an oh-so-weak sound escaped them. But that surreal moment moved so slowly that it might as well have been destined to be shattered like glass when an unexpected voice rose on the silence that had fallen on them.

"Cora, your tea is getting cold!" A little girl came trotting down the yard, her golden curls tied up with a ribbon.

Edith instantly knew that it was Cora's doing, as it was a simple but recognizable braid that she had worn at; the girl's age. It felt stupid, but Edith felt jealous. She stared speechlessly as her mother seemed to not know her but instantly turned to that child, smiling warmly as she should have done with her family. Was that girl her family now? Was she the replacement for her and her sisters? Was that child the only good memory and interaction her mother had since the accident?

"Mama-" Edith stuttered again, unable to finish the sentence.

Cora gasped a little, hearing that word distinctly. It was something familiar that rang inside her ears, feeling very odd. Had she been called that? How much of the joy of being around little Wendy was it because she'd been used to that feeling before? Had it been just instinct or there had been something more behind her natural approach with that little girl?

She looked around, tightening her grip on her coat as her eyes wandered to the people surrounding her.

There was indeed something about them, something that felt, finally, right.

Wasn't that a good sign, after having felt so wrong with Peter and Roger in that house?

And yet her judgement had been so poor since the accident. What if she was mistaken again? What if her hopes and prayers had mislead her?

"Come home."

What a sweet and tender voice, coming from a man like that. He was kind, Cora could tell, just staring at his eyes. How much she wanted to say 'yes' and leave that nightmare behind her for good; how much she wanted to know that it was the right thing to do, how much she wanted to be sure enough to avoid second thoughts.

"I-" Cora gasped, looking despairing, waiting for those people to respond. They were so confident, hoping and yearning for her answer. It frightened her.

"Are you going away?" Wendy spoke again, looking up. She seemed so small in the middle of that group of adults, without comprehending their words. She had no fear in speaking out loud, making her voice heard. The little girl was quite the opposite of Cora, who she seemed to have forgotten how to speak.

Cora smiled, bending her knees so she was at the child's eye level.

Could she be sure that the man and woman would have given her what she wanted? How could she have been ready to give up even that little piece of life she'd gained with her hard work, fighting the fear of the unknown and her inner demons?

"Cora?" she felt her sleeve being pulled. Apparently she'd remained silent for too long.

Cora smiled again, her head spinning like a top.

"No, poppet." She muttered. "I'm not going anywhere."

Wendy smiled wildly, shifting her tiny hand into the woman's bigger one.

Cora barely noticed the hurt expression of the blonde woman, who had just witnessed to the awful scene of her mother calling a random child with her own pet name, the one her mother had chosen for her when she was little. That dreadful night had stolen everything from her.

"Cora!" Robert called, in the exact moment when Cora and Wendy turned around to go back to the house. Without even realizing it, he had gripped her wrist with his right hand. He had no intention of letting her go.

Once again, he imagined a positive reaction from her. He hoped to see her blue eyes sparkling like diamonds just for him, one last time. It would have made his heart return to beating its ancient tune. But his hoped were crushed once again. Her blue irises were watery, pale, the weight of the painful decision stinging her very soul.

"I'm sorry." She barely breathed, shaking her head.

The truth was that she needed time. Cora wasn't yet ready to lose the only thing she yet had to know, to remember. Deep down in her heart, she knew that sooner or later, they would have been back. She would meet them again in some way.

"Cora," Robert yelled again, after she walked a couple of steps away from them, the girl happily holding her hand, just like they used to do. He'd was incredibly, irrationally jealous of a little girl who had stolen his wife from him. She took his place.

He clenched his jaw, angry with fate, determined in not let his whole life walk away from him in the blink of an eye. He had all the intention to chase them, stop Cora from entering that house, tell everything she needed to know. If it was necessary, he'd even drag her home, to show her family and the place where she lived. The place where she promised to grow old at his side.

However, when he was just about to start his desperate run, he felt the strong grasp of Edith tugging his sleeve, preventing him from following his impulse, begging with her eyes him not to move.

"Edith, what are you doing?" He yelled furiously, trying to get free.

Tears were now streaming down the woman's cheeks, silently and yet so powerfully disarming.

"This is not how you'll get her back, papa." She whispered with difficulty, her voice irregular. "Mama's safe now.. she's-"

"What do you want me to do?" Robert asked desperately, taking his hat off just to have something in his hand to hold in order to ease his pain and frustration.

"The only thing we can and must do." Edith said, sniffling. "Wait." She said blankly.

"I can't go on like this." He sighed loudly. "She doesn't know who we are.. she doesn't know that we love her. She doesn't know... she loves me."

"Then you'll make her remember." Edith said with a half smile, reassuring him while she wiped the tears from her cheeks, which hadn't yet been replaced with new ones. "You'll make her fall in love with you once more, from the beginning. You did it before, you can do it again. Just like when you and mama met the first time."

* * *

*Elmbridge is the first subdivision of the Surrey county. It can be a historical (and technical) inaccuracy, but 'the Elbridge Unit' _here_ is a police unit that works upon this area. Being near London I thought it could be possible that the abandoned house where Cora was kept was in this subdivision, but of course this is pure fiction.

* * *

 _Will Robert see Cora another time? Will he be able to make her fall in love again?_  
 _Coming next: " Cinderella's Midnight"  
_

 _If you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)_


	14. Chapter 14 - Cinderella's Midnight

NdA: Happy Thursday the 13th guys! Hope you're doing fine. So, here we are with a _COBERT_ chapter, finally! Hope you'll like it :)

Thank you all, reviewers, readers, and who followed/favorited this story of mine, you made my day! In particular, my big thanks and hugs to granthamfan, Countess of Cobert (who also wrote the 100th review *^*), eyeon, Crawleyfan, Dream of Ragtime, Mr./Mrs. Guest (x2), witchoesed, lulin & Ethelthayerfan.  
The biggest, always to my awesome beta **CountessCora**.

Little note: since the next chapter will be shorter, be prepared for a quicker update for the future, that said... _  
_

 _Enjoy_!

* * *

Chapter 14 – Cinderella's Midnight

Cora sighed loudly, closing the book with a soft thud.

She was in a house that wasn't hers, sleeping into a bed that wasn't hers, reading book that didn't belong to her. She owned nothing in that place, nor did she feel like she even owned herself.

Thousands questions roamed inside her head, depriving her from her sleep and killing her appetite. How did those men fool her for so long? Why did they keep her in that house if they never intended to ask for a ransom? How did two criminals own a place like that, with so many things that only the wealthy people could afford? Did they steal every single piece of the furniture, food, cloth?

"You should really try to eat, milady."

Cora lifted her chin when the Russell's voice reached her ears. She was wearing her black maid dress and was carrying a tray with a cup of tea and a piece of cake.

"Thank you." She whispered, her eyes confused. "But you shouldn't call me that." She added with a sigh. The woman had told Cora everything she knew about her identity. When the police arrived the previous day, Russell had tried to gather as much information as possible. Being a London maid for a long time, she knew something of the mundane life; the names of Grantham and Crawley had certainly reached her ears more than once. However, her knowledge on the subject was limited to gossip from dubious sources. Her job, of course, didn't let her much time to read papers even if she had access to them.

"I wouldn't feel right." Russell said with a kind voice, putting the tray on the table beside Cora.

"And you should really look for a job, like the others did." Cora shook her head, an everlasting defeated expression painted on her face. "I can't really pay you."

"My service is already paid for the next two months." The other woman shrugged her shoulders with a chuckle. "As is this house. It would be silly not to take advantage of that."

Cora smiled shyly: it was exactly what she was doing, taking advantage of it, all because she didn't know what to do with her life. She knew that her fate was entirely in her own hands. How much she wanted to call that gentleman back, the one who was her husband. He had looked so desperate and willing to have her back, so kind and strong. How much she yearned to be his wife, to satisfy his wishes and end his pain.

How much she wanted to avoid another mistake. Every decision she'd made had been proven wrong. Peter had fooled her with pretty words and stories well told, as well as his kind manners and his perfect mask of a lord.

Cora knew deep in her heart that her so-called-husband wasn't lying. It was like she could look right into his soul, like her eyes knew his by heart, every shade, every blink, every tiny vein. His face soothed her. During the previous night, just a moment before falling into slumber, she could have swore she'd felt something under her fingers. It was something similar to the softness of a skin... a skin she well knew, every imperfection, every wrinkle created by time.

"Milady?"

Cora startled a little, digging her fingernails absentmindedly into the fabric.

"Yes?" she attempted to smile, her sight lifting again to face the maid.

"I almost forgot." The woman chuckled, rifling through her pocket to pull out a little paper folded in four. "Mr. Banks sent you this. That poor lad of a butler is waiting outside." A little amused chuckle escaped her lips.

Cora took the note in her hand, curiously opening it.  
The moment her eyes laid on the white surface, marked with sketches and letters of different shapes and sizes, her face lit up.

"It's from Wendy." She said and Russell nodded. She somehow knew that inside the dark place that Cora woman was living, that blonde little girl was her only safety net. "Russell, could you please tell Mr. Banks' butler that I'll go?" Cora added enthusiastically.

"Of course, milady." The woman bent her knees in a small act of reverence.

She was already at the door when Cora jumped on her feet, digging her head into the small closet to choose a dress to wear; she currently owned four.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hughes."

" _Russell_ , milady." The maid chuckled, turning back and grasping the knob in her hand.

"Yes." Cora emerged from the closet with a mortified and puzzled look. "What did I say?" She enquired, furrowing her brow, striving so hard to remember.

"Doesn't matter, milady." The woman shrugged her shoulders, smiling, as she left.

* * *

Edith climbed up the stairs at a slow pace. It was barely six o'clock in the morning and she had just finished her breakfast, which consisted of a big cup of coffee and buttered toast, before taking her bag and heading to the paper.

She was now used to the lonely hours since she spent so much time in her apartment. Still, eating all alone in the kitchen with no one to keep her company except for the young kitchen maid, brought her a melancholy feeling that was very difficult to ignore. The big house had once been crowded with people, guests coming and going during the afternoon, and animated chatting during the evening with endless dinners and card games. Parties were organized every weekend and Rosamund was always cheerful, a woman that hated a gloomy day. But now empty rooms and silence had replaced the music of the past. The house and its inhabitant were beyond recognition.

Edith knew that everything was still and silent during the ordinary days, but since the accident, the days were even more blue and bittersweet. She had trouble sleeping every night. On this particular one, Edith had spent the dark hours staring at the ceiling, thinking about life at Downton not so many years before. Everything seemed so difficult and debatable but in truth had been so simple and right. She had her entire family and everyone had their place. They fought, yelled and messed up, but they saw the light at the end of the tunnel and came home before it was too late.

Edith's life had been disheveled and complicated, with lots of secrets and mistakes. Yet Robert and Cora still loved their lives together at Downton, like always, and it gave her enough courage to take risks. Downton was her anchor. Now she felt like a boat adrift in the middle of the ocean, striving to find something to hold onto.

Edith knew that it was a sentiment she shared with at least one other person in the house: Rosamund.  
She was sure she'd heard her aunt rolling and sighing all night in her bed, pacing noisily back and forth around her room. She was equally sure that her father had felt the same way.

So Edith didn't fear waking anyone when she knocked on the door that divided the corridor from her father's room.

"Papa?" She shyly peeked inside the room and her eyes immediately caught the trembling light of a dying candle.

She could already see through the semi darkness of the dawn, searching for her father's shape inside the bed. But it was both empty and untouched. For an instant, the thought that he could've left, perhaps to go to her mama's current house crossed her mind. Her heart jumped into her throat. But then she spotted Robert lying in an armchair which he'd moved in order to face the window. He awakened and Edith saw that he was wearing his robe, barefoot.

"You know what day it is?" After a that long period of silence, her ears almost cringed at her father's weak and raspy voice.

"It's Tuesday, papa." Edith answered in a voluntarily flat voice, as she tried to avoid the thought that had been tormenting her since midnight. She entered the room with a purposeful stride, heading straight to the bedside table to change the candle with a new one.

"It's her birthday." Robert sighed.

Edith swallowed, freezing on the spot, her eyes still on the dancing flame.  
"I know."

A cold silence fell inside the room, as the memory of Cora almost tangible as their minds flew back in time. A collage of different images with the same protagonist blurred into flashes of their happy lives melting with the gloom of the present, which made the day look like the most terrible nightmare possible.

"I see no point." Whispered Robert, his eyes still fixed on the window. "I need to see her, I need to talk to her, I need to-" He hid his face behind his palm as his elbow dug into the arm of the chair to support his head, heavy as a rock. "If I can't be with her, not even for a moment.. I can't bring her home."

Edith startled when his fist hit the chair fabric hard. Although it was a soft thud, muffled by the fabric, it was loud enough to still scare her. She was tense and frustrated beyond words. As much as she wanted to help, she was powerless, without weapons.

"Mama won't follow us. She needs to trust us first." The woman walked closer to her father, lowering to his side to give him a gentle squeeze on his still stiffened fist. " _You_ , at least."

"I don't know where to start." He confessed, clenching his jaw. "You and I both know that your mama won't fall in love again with me if I force her. Do you have a better idea than showing up in front of that damn house out of the blue?"

Edith drew a deep breath and swallowed, moistening her dry lips.  
"Mama is not the type to stay at home all day." She muttered. "Perhaps she's planning to attend that fair. She always loved the fairs."

"What fair?" Robert reluctantly lifted his eyes to meet Edith's, wrinkling his brow with hope and a bit of curiosity.

"Today, at Green Park, the one you were supposed to-" Edith shook her head, fighting off the memory. "There's a Summer fair, nothing fancy. I bet a lot of people will be there, it's a big event."

"What if she's not there? That park is awfully vast, also, how could I-"

"It's worth a try." Edith cut him off. "Why don't you take aunt Rosamund there? It'll bring no harm... and if it doesn't work, she will surely find some clever idea to share."

* * *

"My dear brother, that shouldn't be hard for you." Rosamund's punchy voice would be able to rise above the melted buzz of thousand voices and chatting without an effort. She was eagerly grabbing Robert's sleeve, striving not to trip over something or someone. When she nearly did fall, she blamed children who sneaked out from nowhere chasing each other. The woman hated the city fairs: too many people, too much noise, nothing healthy to eat, nothing pretty to buy... A practically useless endeavor.

"What?" Robert asked with a vague tone, his eyes lost, constantly searching for Cora.

"Win Cora back." She replied.

Hearing his wife's name, Robert immediately drew his attention to his sister.  
"It's been more than thirty-five years, you know?" He said faintly with a loud sigh.

"Yes." His sister nodded. "And you loved each other more and more, longer than anyone I've ever known, you still do! The fact that Cora doesn't remember is not important. You need to focus on her sentimentality. It's like... making her fall in love again, and you've got a head start." Rosamund talked calmly with the pitch of someone who knew her subject; she always had been a catty person with advanced talent of persuasion. Yet Robert though that she was outdoing herself in this moment. He was even starting to deeply believe her words despite feeling like the most hopeless man on the whole planet.

"Do I?" He wrinkled his brow, stopping his walk for a moment.

"Yes, because you're soul mates." Rosamund was not the romantic type, and the sentence emerged from her lips with the same emotion by which she would have planned tomorrow's dinner. "And soul mates find each other under every circumstance."

"You're babbling, Roz." Robert almost chuckled, shaking his head. "She doesn't even know who I am."

Rosamund rolled her eyes.  
"You clearly listen, but don't understand a single word I'm saying." The red-haired woman scoffed, scolding him silently with her piercing light blue eyes.

"What do you mean?" Robert asked blankly, slightly pulling at her arm in order to urge her to restart their troubled stroll, but she seemed stuck to the ground.

"Robert-" She tightened her grip on his sleeve, her eyes lost somewhere beyond his shoulder.

"I need facts, Roz, enough with these-"

"Robert!"

He sharply turned, annoyed but suddenly shocked when he saw a distant figure slowly walking the path, approaching them: it was Cora.

* * *

"It's a pity your father couldn't make it." Cora fought the strong impulse to sweep the girl up in her arms to prevent people from tripping over her or making her fall. It was too crowded for her taste. It seemed quite disorganized, with boys and girls of every age running everywhere, groups of people gathering in the middle of the path that kept the others from moving forward. They stood at every corner with no logical order. Tumblers and fire-breathers throwing flames without warning, appearing to risk setting fire to innocent children every two seconds.

"He promised me a big dinner tonight." Wendy beamed contently. "And I like going out with you." She tilted her head up, showing a big grin that brightened her whole face. Cora couldn't do anything but smile back.

"So, what would you like do to first?" Cora asked kindly, looking around to spot some rides that the girl might enjoy. "There's a quite big slide over there, or you prefer the ball throwing, I think I saw one for children somewhere..." She frowned, trying to remember the right path to take.

"The slide." Wendy beamed. "Then can we eat some ice cream? And some candies?"

"Wendy," Cora chuckled. "Your father said just one sweet." She lifted one finger to emphasize her point. "And remember, you have to be careful with the money your father gave you, you've got enough for everything."

The girl nodded with enthusiasm, staring at her banknote and swinging on the spot.

"I'm going on the slide and then I'll buy ice cream for us both." She stated. "And then the carousel before going home. And oh- I'll buy some flowers for mommy." She clapped her hands together and silently asked Cora if her money would be enough for the things she'd listed. Cora nodded with a smile, gripping Wendy's little hand to lead her to the slide, warning her not to run away or wander off too distantly while she played with the other children.

Cora sighed, her heart both swelling and shrinking for the kindness of the little girl, so happy and enthusiastic about life. She felt lucky to have the chance to spend time with the girl. Cora was also a little jealous because Wendy wasn't hers. Sometimes she just desired to steal that girl's love for herself but it made her feel terribly guilty. She had nothing to offer in exchange.

She leaned her hand on the temporary fence made of ropes around the slide as she locked her eyes on the shaky structure crowded with children having fun by running up the ladder on the back of the striped tower and sliding down the metallic spiral wrapped around it from the top to the bottom.  
She smiled when she saw Wendy waving at her, ready to crawl under the small tunnel before the drop; when she came out, Cora had to blink several times to believe what she saw. Wendy's undefined face – because of the speed – had changed, and although she had different eyes and features, oddly she seemed more familiar.

Cora frowned, her smiled fading quickly as she saw another girl waiting for her at the end of the slide. This girl was taller and had long brown curls and a dress of the same colour. For a moment, both girls turned to her, waving and laughing before a random boy ran before her eyes, taking away the image. Cora blinked and saw the girl she knew, Wendy, climbing up the ladder with thrill.

The woman smiled for a moment, but as soon as the girl stepped out from her sight, she put her hand on her forehead, slightly brushing her fingers against her brow. New questions were crowding her head. Who were those people? Could that blond girl she kept seeing when Wendy was around be a younger version of the woman she saw the other day? What about that brunette girl who seemed so close to the first one? Were they siblings? Had they have been hers in some different time? The child's drawing that she had imagined when Wendy had shown Cora her own picture... Had the family painted on the white paper been hers? How was that even possible? How many children did she have?

She closed her eyes hard, fearing she would go mad anytime until a gentle touch on her shoulder made her startle and sharply turn.

"Good morning."

Cora worked to focus on the man's face before her. Heart pumping wildly in her chest, her eyes grew wide and she became short of breath.  
"Good morning." Cora answered automatically in a whisper.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Robert took off his hat, showing one of his best smiles. He'd practiced that very morning in front of his mirror. He'd learnt to appear calm and charming, locking up his basic desire to hold her deep inside him, along with the fear that continuously made him suffer a cold sweat; he kept the evidence of his fear wisely covered under his shirt and jacket.

"You didn't-" Cora drew a small breath, staring right through his eyes, gasping few times as she tried to say his name but couldn't.

"Robert. You can call me Robert." He smiled tenderly.

"Yes." Cora's heart clenched a little when she saw his eyes going watery for a brief moment. She could sense his suffering and she didn't want him to feel that way. Cora felt, deep inside, she owed him a debt as she felt her world stop spinning when her eyes were locked with his.

Was he her husband or not? Cora felt something _good_ coming from him; she trusted him, she loved those gentle eyes. His voice soothed her, yet her mind always curbed for her.

"I was wondering if you'd like to join my sister and I for a stroll." He proposed nonchalantly, calling for Rosamund with a quick gesture of the hand.

The two women studied each other for a long time before smiling at one another.

Rosamund was biting her lip the whole time. Only now did she understood how difficult the situation was, knowing Cora wasn't herself. Years of chatting, laughs, special moments spent together had disappeared. Her sister-in-law didn't remember her face, voice or the walks in the Abbey they shared during the period of engagement to her brother. Cora couldn't remember them spying on Marmaduke and Robert as they talked in the forest. She didn't remember their games or the times when Cora cried over her shoulder and vice verse. Rosamund was standing in front of her best friend of almost forty years and she didn't even remember her name.

They shook politely their hands and the red-haired woman was glad when Cora turned away so she was able to wipe away a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'd love to, but I'm with someone." Cora said, searching for the girl inside the crowd.

Robert drew a sharp breath. The fear that she might be with another man assaulted him with a wave of nausea and disgust. Was Edith right? Was Cora trying to rebuild her life? Was he too late? He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not to see the little girl trotting in their direction, immediately grabbing Cora's hand.

Wendy pulled Cora toward the next game, angrily frowning once she spotted Cora's company. Pulling at Cora with all her strength, the little one well remembered that the man was the same person who had tried to steal her friend away only a couple of days earlier. Wendy was determined to not let it happen again.

"Wendy, be a good girl." Cora warned, looking down at her. The girl stomped her feet to show her discontent, but at a second scolding glance she settled at Cora's side, still looking angrily at Robert.

"You know, dear child." He'd sighed and without any warning, knelt down in front of the girl. Cora watched the scene with careful eyes, taken aback by a turn of events she never expected to happen. "I'd do the same." He smiled melancholy. "If someone would have tried to take Cora away from me." He looked up for a brief moment at his wife's face, bright eyes and lips slightly parted into an absentminded smile that gave him strength. "But what what would you do if someone had stolen your mama to from you and your papa? She wouldn't be happy without her family, right? And you wouldn't be happy either without her."

"No." Wendy gasped in fear, gripping hard Cora's hand.

"You do care for her, don't you?" Robert nodded slowly and Wendy, after a short period of stillness, did the same, looking up at the brunette woman.

"Yes." She whispered.

"So do you want her to be happy?" Robert smiled, brushing the back of his fingers on Wendy's cheek. "In a land far, far away from here, there's a big yellow castle, which is my home... and also hers. Cora's the queen of that castle and I'm its king... our whole family is waiting for her to come back." He then winked at the girl, getting closer to her ear. "Will you help me to get the queen back in her castle?" He whispered.

Wendy stared at him for quite some time, then smiled up at Cora, then looked back to him, nodding enthusiastically as the new and real life fairytale took form in her young head.

Cora watched him get up on his feet, completely befuddled. She knew he claimed to be her husband. Robert radiated goodness with all his being. He was the man she yearned to have by her side, yet she couldn't remember. She was almost sure she'd already seen him in that position, talking to a girl as she held some little hands, but the memories were once again too blurred to be clear.

So when he offered her his arm, giving her one of his best reassuring smiles, she just stared at him, blankly, not knowing what to do.

"I will make you remember, Cora." He whispered firmly. "And if I won't succeed, I will make you fall in love again with the man you once knew. I haven't changed, my dear, and neither have you." As much as courting his own wife sounded odd, he was ready to do it. After all, he'd never stopped courting Cora, bringing her flowers, flattering her whenever possible, watching her with alluring eyes as she dined in front of him, telling her things through just one glance.

Now he realized they never stopped being the two lovebirds that met in the distant year 1889. Nothing on earth could prevented them being the same now. She just had to trust him. Cora just had to answer positively and that was it; he would have still have a chance. "Please, let me show you who you are." His voice was tranquil, yet his light blue eyes were screaming and begging her to accept.

Cora breathed deeply, trying to imagine what her life would have been if she said _yes_. She couldn't find any answer but to follow her instinct.

Once again, against all odds, she forced herself to forget, bury all the fears and doubts inside her, just to be able to start all over again. This man had maybe, in the other life, been her husband. Cora smiled and shyly shifted her slender fingers above his elbow, gripping his arm.

* * *

They walked for a while, letting the little girl lead the group from one game to the other, happily witnessing the couple quietly chatting about this or that, while she could do most anything as the funny red-haired lady joined her everywhere: rides, games, unexpected snack stops...

Robert was walking on the moon as he held his wife's arm, his warm hand smoothly covering hers, patting it slightly every now and then as he told her about one of his latest trip to Egypt or what had happened during his college or military training. It was just as he had first done during their first encounter that now dated back of almost forty years. He avoided taking about trips and places where they'd been together, creating the atmosphere of a first meeting, like his daughter had suggested. At first thought, he wouldn't bet a penny on its success, but now he was definitely restoring his faith on Edith's crazy ideas.

Cora was listening to him, totally captured by his voice and presence. Quite frankly, she wasn't listening to the words he was telling her but more precisely to the sound of his voice, so warm and charming, capable of dragging her into the most beautiful and enchanted places on earth. It was hard to realize that they were even still staying in the same London park. He was putting a magic spell on her. Cora, for the first time after the accident, didn't feel frightened. On the contrary, she desired more of this wonderful enchantment that made her feel so young and naive in the most delightful way.

Years back, Cora had been able to laugh and chuckle at the right times, giving warm smiles as she looked into the man's eyes with her piercing blue eyes framed in long and black lashes. She didn't know that her coloring made her that made her look like a doll, the most beautiful doll on the planet. Robert well remembered that, back when he first met her, the way they danced, the way he yearned for her to become his fiancé and then his wife. Robert remembered her tactics of flirting, so perfect and natural. He recalled how she flirted with him, how she flattered him without even knowing it.

Everything was happening all over again. Deep inside, Robert knew he was going in the right direction. He hoped to be in the clear, at least, with all his might.

Of course, many things came to his mind to impress her or give her joy, from a cup of tea in a tranquil café to a quick visit at a museum or art gallery... but nothing suited that day or that park. He was on balance though, as she hadn't rejected him. Rather, she had taken his arm and laughed at his stories, smiling with her shining eyes that lingers over his. Oh how he'd dreamt about all that, for how long...

And yet, like every fairytale and dream, even that day had to end. So when Cora's voice reached his ears, it was like hearing the fantasy breaking as it was glass, her words as harsh and fatal as the midnight's strike for Cinderella.

"We need to go." Cora said sadly, exchanging a quick glance with the girl.

Wendy sighed, shifting her eyes to Robert. Cora wasn't quick enough to see what the two communicated, but she could sense that they had planned something to make her stay longer.

"One last ride, Cora, please." The girl whined, swinging on the spot with her arms behind her back. "And then we'll go home." She begged her with her eyes, pouting a little to complete the picture.

Cora sighed, nodded as she yielded.

Alone with Robert, she couldn't do anything but smile back at him. She was happy just to be able to stare into his eyes, studying his features, lines, more and more familiar as she stayed beside him.

"What will we do while we're waiting?" Cora asked curiously, spotting an empty bench, pulling him slightly in that direction.

Robert grinned and guided her in the other way. Then he took out his pocketwatch, humming a little tune as he read the hands moving on the face. Of course he took longer than was necessary, just to give her the chance to admire the piece she herself had given him for one of their anniversaries, but his gesture didn't get the intended effect. He didn't lose heart, though.

"We need to hurry if we don't want to miss it." He said, a playful sound in his tone.

"Miss _what_?" Cora asked curiously, before being grabbed by her wrist and dragged through the growing and unruly crowd until they came to an open space in the grass where they reached a wooden gazebo, wide and big, with a small orchestra in one corner.

"It's a- dance competition." Robert announced with a wince, sure that it was nothing compared to the dances and balls at Downton or any other places of the higher society. But he knew she wouldn't be able to recall any of that, so he was comfortable.

"Lovely." she said in a whisper, her eyes sparkling due to the lights.

Robert thought she was more beautiful than ever. After that dreadful day when she left home, he'd never seen her completely happy. In fact, until now, she hadn't been serene. It was the first time in weeks she had been free of her troubles, the first time she was so close of being herself, like when she had been at Downton with her family and enjoying everyday life as they peacefully grew old in her house full of children and bright futures. In that moment, Cora had found herself again. And he knew that, because he'd seen that look so many times in his life.

"Happiness looks stunning on you, Cora." Robert murmured, loud enough for her to hear, but low so that could have been a secret just for the two of them to share.

Her cheeks turned slightly red and she lowered her chin, leaning her free hand on the railing around the dance-floor.  
"I don't know what to say." She said sincerely, biting her bottom lip shyly and refusing to meet his eyes again.

"But you don't have to say anything, dear. Just enjoy the moment." Robert instructed, a deep sigh escaping his lips. "So, what do you think of this?" He inquired, patting the back of her hand to get her attention. "The competition is about to begin." Robert added, noticing the first couple entering the tent with their numbers well displayed on their clothes.

"I think we have a decent view from here." Cora commented, locking her eyes on the people before her, trying to make her flattered but embarrassed smile to fade from her lips.

"But we're not going to _see_ anything." Robert announced with a grin. After half a minute, he produced a ribbon and he readily stapled it to his jacket on the left side. At Cora's surprised and quite shocked expression, he just chuckled lightly. "Rosamund insisted that I sign up this morning. She wanted to distract me, so she convinced me we should dance together." He explained briefly "It's just one dance, Cora. The judges get rid of the worst couple while the music plays and the last couple dancing, wins." He let go of her just long enough to offer her his hand. "We can't lose with this number." Robert stated proudly, trying to convince her, pointing at the ribbon with his finger. "Sixteen."

"February." she whispered, just above her breath, her lips moving without her commanding them.

"Yes." Robert looked at her with a befuddled look. Cora couldn't remember his name, Rosamund's, she couldn't remember any of her children, her house, what her life was before the accident and yet... she remembered the day they got married.  
He smiled in bliss, knowing that there was still hope. Everything was inside her. He just had to pull it out step by step. He would succeed.  
They stood silently for a minute. Sensing her discomfort, he forced himself to put aside that magical moment in favour of an another one. "So would you like to dance?"

Cora blinked away her bafflement, chuckling lightly as she shyly shook her head.  
"I can't dance." She mumbled, joining her hand with his, tangling their fingers together.

"Of course you can." Robert promptly replied, wrinkling his brow for a moment and then urging her to take his hand. "I'll guide you."

Cora stared at his hand reluctantly at first but once her palm touched his, a new, special sensation spread inside her as a cold chill completely emptied her crammed head. Suddenly the only things that existed were Robert and the light music playing in the background.

Robert was completely speechless, busy thanking every star he could name for the privilege and great fortune of having the possibility of dancing with his wife again. He was holding her so close this soon. It was beyond his most beautiful and daring dreams.

"I don't know where to start." Cora whispered frantically, her eyes wandering around to get the slightest clue from the others couple surrounding them. They were all much younger, except for a few couples, but no one seemed to care. Yet the determined look upon their faces made Cora even more agitated.

"Don't think about it." Robert suggested, placing his hand on the small of her back, pulling her slightly toward him – oh, it felt so good to hold her like this again – and lifting her other hand in position. "It has always been natural for you."

Cora breathed in, the will of trusting him completely growing bigger and bigger inside her chest until she had no choice but dance, for the music had started to play.

As they swirled around the dance floor, following the flow, Cora's eyes saw images that didn't belong to that place; she saw feathers and shining clothes, flutes of champagne, chandeliers of crystals and gold and music of various kinds playing inside her head. It was a swirling of clothes, laughs, pearls, jazz with waltzes stuffing her mind, suffocating her with oppressive smells and sounds until a hint of nausea hit her strongly, forcing her to stop dancing.

She found herself in the middle of the wooden building, couples still spinning around them, her eyes shut tight and as her cheek pressed against Robert's jacket, her hand gripped the fabric with eagerness, wrinkling it.

Robert held her close, worried, until her weight became lighter and lighter in his hold and her face returned to his eyes.  
"Are you all right?" He asked her with concerned, studying her expression.

"Yes, just felt dizzy." She murmured, smiling when he led her outside, away from the crowd as they searched for a lonely bench upon to rest.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Robert asked her again, taking her hand between his, rubbing it to warm her cold skin.

"Sometimes I remember.. things." Cora confessed with a broken smile. "But I can't link the dots."

"One day you will." He smiled reassuringly, waving at Rosamund and Wendy when he saw them coming to them.

"It's been a beautiful day." Cora murmured, standing up to take Wendy's hand in hers.

Robert took his hat, its hem between his fingers to salute Cora and Wendy. Just when she was about to leave, he ran after her, tapping her shoulder with his finger. He felt like a young boy with his heart in the throat, dealing with his first sweetheart; it really was like that, actually, but Cora was his first and last.

"Can I see you again?" he asked, excitement and happiness hardly hidden in his voice.

Cora smiled, blushing violently as she shyly nodded.  
"Yes. We could take a stroll together."

It was Robert's turn to nod.  
"Cora?"

The woman turned toward him once again, following with her eyes as Robert's hand searched for something in his pocket. Then he laid a small dried blue flower in her palm, a forget-me-not.

"What's this?" Cora asked, puzzled and oddly intrigued by the unexpected gift.

Robert simply smiled, taking his sister's hand and guiding her away.

"Happy birthday, Cora." he yelled, waving her goodbye with his hat.

* * *

 _Will fate be benevolent with them, this time, or not?_  
 _Wait for the next update " Shortcut to Hell" to find out.  
See you soon!  
_

 _If you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)_


	15. Chapter 15 - Shortcut to Hell

NdA: Good day everyone! Hope you're doing fine :) here we are with the mysterious chapter.  
Let me tell you: never judge a chapter by its.. title? After all, it could be good.. or not. Just don't panic *angel face*

First of all, I need to send lots of love to all the people who reviewed the previous chapter: Dream of Ragtime, witchoesed, eyeon, Countess of Cobert, Dr. Serpico, Crawleyfan, sinceyoufellinlovewithme, granthamfan, Ethelthayerfan & Mr./Mrs. Guest.  
And also to my awesome beta **CountessCora** , I'd be lost without you!

Now, I won't say more and leave you to the chapter.. _  
_

 _Enjoy_!

* * *

Chapter 15 – Shortcut To Hell

It was the first night that Robert could get some sleep.

With her letter in his hand, under his pillow, as its closeness brought good dreams and sleep to him, her sweet but faint perfume on the paper. Cora's delicate hand had written those words; nothing was more beautiful than owning something from her next to him, something that proved that what he'd lived was not only a dream but reality.

He'd found Cora and she trusted him. They'd danced, he'd looked into her eyes, so sparkling and beautiful... he'd held her body, touched her fingers, heard her voice, given her flowers. Cora had promised him to see him again. He was holding the proof of that between his fingers.

The dreadful Green Park, which once he hated with all his heart was now redeeming, being the place of their first encounter after the accident. It was there that they talked and danced and promised each other trust, if not love, yet.

Robert was determined to win Cora back in the best way possible. He finally convinced himself that rushing toward her, pressing her or even forcing her would have never done any good. After all, what had happened when he begged her to come home? She'd turned away from him, leaving him with nothing.  
But when Robert tried to just enjoy time with her, talking calmly, even pretending they didn't know each other like two strangers eager to make their dim sentiments grow, she opened herself, slowly letting him in.

Robert decided then that he would try to win his wife back one step at the time.  
He could help her trust him again and only then he could make her remember. Robert would wait for her to tell the story of their past. He'd wait for her eyes to sparkle yet another time at the slightest clue that made her mind click.

During the entire evening, Robert pondered Rosamund's speech about love and soul mates. She'd spoken with no emotion, yet her strong words carved into his very soul.  
Making Cora remember everything was not important.  
He just wanted his wife back as the woman she always had been and would be, with or without memories. If it was true that soul mates find each other no matter what, bringing her memory back or making her fall in love again was of no consequence.

Soul mates fall in love a little more every day despite adversities, sorrow, or even cheerful or happy times. It was no difference from the everyday at Downton.  
Hadn't he fallen in love with Cora every day? Didn't she look at him with devoted love in her eyes every time their gazes met?

Nothing changed.

Robert would have made sure to reunite the two broken pieces of a heart born several years ago because it was a heart they shared, one that would never stopped beating.

* * *

" _Don't spoil this, papa._ " The long sigh coming from the other end of the receiver was a blatant plea, yet Robert knew it was not for lack of trust but for a deep wish to bring everything back to normal.

"I won't, Mary." He replied with a firm voice.

" _It's everything settled then?_ " Mary spoke again, clearly moving back and forth in the small space around the table that held the device, as was the usual.

"It is, darling. I'm going to meet you mama at the park and then I'll take her to get a cup of tea in one of our favourite cafés." His voice faded a little at the end of the sentence. He really hoped that bringing his wife to a familiar place where he'd taken her thousands times could help her memory.

" _And then you'll bring her home?_ " Mary asked impatiently.

Robert shook his head, almost forgetting that his daughter couldn't see him.  
"I really don't know. That depends on her." Robert said sincerely, his good intention well fixed into his mind.

" _Papa, we need you here, both of you._ " Mary sighed loudly. " _Tom and I feel guilty making decisions without you now. The hospital is lost without mama... not to mention that I miss her-_ " She scoffed. " _We.. miss you two very much._ "

Robert smiled tenderly. They were both grateful that the other couldn't see through the phone.  
"I know, darling, just hold on and do whatever needs to be done." Robert said reassuringly. "I'll bring mama home as soon as possible."

" _Good_." Mary spat, her voice naturally flat. " _Because the children are getting impossible._ "

Robert chuckled a little, the pretty faces of his grandchildren flashing before his eyes; oh how much he missed them, their games, their stories...  
"They are?" he inquired curiously, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Mary shook her head before starting to speak, knowing that hearing about Sybbie, George and Marigold would be a balm for his troubled spirit.  
" _They are indeed._ " Mary sighed. " _Sybbie is complaining every single night because her granny doesn't kiss her goodnight. While she knows she's in London, of course, and therefore she's mad at her because she hasn't called her yet._ "

Robert laughed quietly, imagining the little one cringing her pretty face and stomping her feet on the ground, like her mother had at Sybbie's age.  
"And George?"

" _George just got a new pony from the people of the village, so he's quite distracted. But he has his moments, too._ " Mary said emphatically. _"Yesterday he demanded to sleep in mama's bed and dragged Sybbie and Marigold with him, so they ended up sleeping in her bedroom, pretending it was a pirate ship or something._ "

"I taught him that once." Robert chuckled proudly.

" _So you're behind all that mess?_ " Mary gasped, utterly displeased. " _Anyway, I was thinking about sending Marigold to London with the nanny because she's becoming impossible, calling for Edith every five minutes._ " She whined, her voice showing that she was completely fed up.

"Oh not yet, Mary, please." Robert shifted impatiently his weight from one foot to the other. "It's going to be terribly complicated for us if Marigold is here."

" _That girl keeps everyone up during the night. We can't go on like this, she's terribly petulant._ " Mary stated firmly, memories of her childhood well vivid in her head. " _Just like-_ "

"Give me more time, Mary." Robert replied "Please."

Mary nodded, looking at the ceiling and sighing.  
" _All right. But try to be quick, I'm going insane._ "

"I'll try my best." Robert chuckled for the last time, before giving his farewell and hanging up the phone.

* * *

"You sure you'll be here for dinner, milady?" Mrs Russell inquired, pinning Cora's last strand of hair into a tighter bun in order that her hat wouldn't get lost during her walk.

"Of course, I'm sure." Cora answered in hurry, glancing at the clock at her back by the mirror "Why?"

"What if Lord Grantham invites you to dine at his house?" The maid said, striving to make one of her hats decent enough for Cora, since Cora had none. Russell even loaned Cora her white Sunday white gloves, which were a little too big for the other woman's tiny hands but still acceptable. Cora was beyond grateful.

"I haven't thought about that." she frowned, freezing for an instant, her blue eyes lost somewhere in the room. What if Robert would really invite her to dinner? She could see him proposing such a thing. Being at a table with him with his sister and his daughter wasn't a dreadful thought at all. On the contrary, it made her heart swell with a sentiment she couldn't quite identify; it made her feel right and happy.

"We'll manage." Mrs Russell touched Cora's shoulder, giving her a gentle squeeze to stir her from her thoughts.

Cora looked up for a moment, bending her lips into a half smile.  
"Oh, I'm going to be terribly late." Cora sighed, sorrow in her eyes, as she helped the other woman to buckle her shoes "Do you know a short cut to get there faster, Mrs. Russell?"

"I do." she said happily. But after a moment, she fell silent again, a dubious expression painted on her face.

"Yes?" Cora urged her to talk, rising to her feet and smothering her dress. She was incredibly nervous but being late would make her feel guilty. She didn't want to disappoint him or make a bad impression, although it seemed impossible that this could happen with Robert, since he watched her with devotion every time their gaze met.

"It's not exactly the safest path, milady." Mrs. Russell drew a sharp breath. "The quickest way to get there is very not advised." They began to walk out from the bedroom to reach the lower floor, approaching the front door with a hurried pace. "I don't go there often myself."

"Mrs. Russell, please tell me. I wish to not be late today." Cora begged, tightening her coat onto her waist. While it was a warm day, she hated the wind. "I've got nothing of value but my wedding ring." She unconsciously closed her fist, brushing the smooth surface of the ring with her thumb.

She'd associated too many men with that ring, first Peter, then Robert. Sometimes she feared that it was something false and wrong rather than something that belonged to her old self.

"Please be careful, milady." Russell swallowed, trying to smile as she explained the correct streets and alleys that Cora needed to take on order to reach her destination in the fastest way possible. Once again, the maid really hoped nothing bad would happen Cora.

* * *

Robert had just arrived to the park when his stomach cringe with a thrill. That faint sensation had accompanied him during all of the journey from Rosamund's house to the exact location of their meeting. But now that he was near the bench that welcomed the both of them after their waltz, that tickle had burst in all its glory, making him feel like a boy about to give his sweetheart his first kiss.

He looked at his watch, brushing the cover with tenderness as he recalled the day when Cora gave it to him. He could recall her eyes, laugh and impatience. He'd made her cry because he'd stayed silent for too long, his lack of adequate words to tell her how much he loved his gift mistaken for dislike; in truth, Robert was rendered speechless by its beauty.

He chuckled as the memory faded away. Once he closed and pocketed the watch, Robert realized that he couldn't wait any longer to see her. He couldn't wait there with nothing to do except to pace back and forth in that small space, shooing couples and men with their papers away in order to keep his chosen bench unoccupied.

Robert smiled, deciding that he could have reached her house and walked her to the park in the time he'd been waiting. After all, wouldn't it be more romantic to appear at her door with his hat in his hand, offering his arm to escort her wherever she wished to go? He could offer her tea, talk about her beauty, whisper about how much he wanted to kiss her, make her blush. Then when the sun went down, he'd take her back home with a promise of another future meeting.

He could have made it if he'd hurried, catching Cora before she left her house.

Robert knew very little about London and its streets. Yet on the day he'd found Cora with Wendy, Robert had memorized the path in no time and had even found a shortcut while he ran back to Rosamund to give his family the news. He'd intended to get there as fast as possible, since cabs were apparently not available in the area.

He'd paid little attention to his surroundings but he well remembered thinking it was a very nasty place, filled with thefts and bad people animated by hunger and a tough life. However, he didn't fear the place because he was a man – quite tall and big-boned – and even without proper training for that kind of situation. But Robert had been a soldier and he did know how to protect himself.

So Robert put on a straight face as he walked firmly, with wide strides along the sidewalks, wisely avoiding stepping into puddles of stagnated water. He was sure to keep from making eye contact with anyone and sometimes he had to hold his breath to not to smell the awful scent of rotten woods or the discarded food that was obviously in every corner. It was a mystery that London could be so beautiful and so ugly and poor from one street to another. The houses in this area looked like they were about to fall down. They felt as if they were shoulder to shoulder with modern buildings of bold white stone... the poorest shop sat almost next to the boutique that sold French clothes of the finest brands. Sometimes he felt like he was going into a whole different world by an invisible portal just around the corner.  
Just to one side was the brightest place of all, full of life. On the other side was the dark fog of deprivation where people fought every day tooth and nail to survive.

He felt sorry for them, yet now his only goal was to avoid an assault on his way to Cora. He'd ring her bell, feel her arm around his, talk to her, admire her... Robert had shortened his travel tone by at least twenty minutes. After all, it was worth a little anxiety to get the result he desired.

He'd almost reached the end of the disreputable block when he lifted his eyes and saw something that made his heart stop and caused his blood to freeze in his veins.

It was Cora. Why was Cora there? Her brightness stood out among the ugliness surrounding her. She was like a lonely star on a dark night.

Robert could see her from a distance. He cringed to think that other men, way less benevolent than him, could see her, too.

Why on earth had she did she walked here? Who had told her to come here? She was a defenceless lamb walking into the den of wolves.

He started to hurry his pace, trying to keep his head down so that he would haven't become a target as soon as she was, his ears tensed and his heart pumping wildly. As soon as he heard some men talking, carelessly splashing in the puddles as they approached the end of the road, passing him and gathering around Cora.

Robert tried to study the situation in order to make as little fuss as possible. On one hand, he desperately hoped they were just kids playing around, scaring women for fun. But on the other hand, he knew that every little game in that place was as dangerous as a bank robbery.

He tried to reach Cora before the group started their mockery and assault. He wanted to take Cora by her wrist, drag her out, keep her safe... but he was too late, barely, but still he was late.

It was some other man gripped Cora's wrist, one with all the bad intention a man could have. Robert ran.

"Hey!" Robert yelled furiously, stopping at last when he was in front of the man who stood at Cora's back. "Leave her." He said firmly, pointing at the man with his finger. "I mean it." His wife was pulling back, a determined expression on her face, but in the moment that she heard and saw Robert behind her shoulders, she froze, her lips parting, her wild heart losing a beat.

"Keep out of this, pretty face." The man hissed, tightening his grasp, making her yelp in pain.

Robert stepped forward, pushing him away. Even though Robert didn't push him with much force, the surprise and the determination in that quick stroke made that man lose his grip. He clenched his jaw as his friends merely grunted and left, running inside a building whose door stood open.

"We want no troubles." Robert spat gravely, dragging Cora next to him, protecting her with his own body.

"And I want your money." The man replied, pulling out a gun. It was an aged weapon, maybe from even before the war. Though Robert doubted it was still working, he chose to not underestimate the power of a gun with its barrels in pretty decent condition.

Robert frowned, taking a deep breath as he stepped in front of Cora so she was completely covered.  
"I'll give you the money if you put that gun down."

The man seemed to consider his offer but in the moment when he moved his thumb above hammer and presses it down, Robert knew that he was about to shoot. It must have been more alluring to take the money with the echo of a shotgun blast. It must have been more appealing to be rich for a couple of weeks, knowing that he'd taken a life and broken some wealthy woman's heart... but Robert was surely not of the same idea.

He had thrown himself on the man, grabbing his arms to deflect the firing.

Cora's grip on his sleeve had been useless, as were her screams and tries to keep Robert near.

In a tangle of bodies and grunts, Cora's ears cringed painfully at the echoing roar of the shot.

* * *

She was afraid.

Cora was shaking from head to toe because of the hard knock of the door, the regular hits that threatened to break down the wood.

The images were blurred.  
Yet she knew it was exactly like something that happened to her not very long ago. It was something she'd forgotten but now was coming back, like a little bird escaped from its cage, now was returning home. It was so light and unreal that she feared that she was yet again imagining it. But then she heard a bang and saw the door flying open as two men with their faces covered cane out. Cora saw the woman before her falling down as she felt the pain behind her head, sharp and concrete as something hit her hard, right there in that moment.

Cora brought a hand to her forehead, partially covering her eyes as other memories started to gather in her mind... memories of hunting and marvellous places with green hills and sweet-smelling flowers. She remembered laughs and smile as Robert, much younger, led her through the forest, yells and guns firing all over, while he had eyes only for her.

She did remember something. Something about Robert.

She remembered being happy with him, she remembered feeling right with him, and always safe.

She remembered the fear of not being able to see him again on the night of the incursion. She remembered the fear of not being able to see any of her family, much less scares of death itself. She remembered the fear of not being able to see the children grow and she remembered holding on to the face of her beloved as the men approached. She remembered her daughter's face and she remembered falling into the darkest place with Robert's name upon her lips.

She did not remember everything, but she remembered something. But now something was enough.

When the images blurred away, the crumbling building and the smell of that place brought her unfortunately back to reality.

She heard screaming and yelling along with the nickering of horses approaching the end of the road. Cora looked around frantically, her mouth dry and her heart pumping furiously against her ribs.

With horror she laid her eyes on the two figures still on the ground, faint movement coming from the web of limbs and torn up clothes. Cora begged for Robert to be safe, pleading for him to be alive and hear her words. He needed to hear that she remembered something of him, that she cared for him, that being beside him filled her empty heart.

And yet he stood there, without moving.

Cora fell to her knees as the mounted police approached, lured by the noises, asking everyone what happened, until someone answered them, pointing where the bastard had run off, telling them to call for some help for the wounded person.

Because Robert _was_ wounded.

Her fingers went to grip to his jacket, shaking it desperately as the tears blurred her sight.

"Robert, please wake up." she begged, letting her eyes wander along his figure to find any sign of injury.  
With a choked gasp, she noticed his right hand upon his stomach and his white shirt covered in blood... red and bright, just like with Phyllis Baxter when she had been shot trying to protect her. It was the same story repeating itself.

Were they both dead because of her?

She shook him again, her hands trembling like her whole body. Despair melted with dread as her heart burst with hope as she'd now finally found him but her lungs cringed with the terror of the future lost, once again shattered in front of her eyes.

Now that she'd found the most important parts of her life, she'd lost what had been her life itself; she'd lost Robert, her husband.

Cora gasped as she became more frightened, covering his damp hand with hers, pressing a little with a faint reminiscence of how that motion could be helpful to stop the bleeding; it seemed to work.

And she smiled when Robert's trembling lids flickered open along with a choked yelp coming from the deepest corner of his throat.

"Cora?" Robert panted.  
He wanted to ask her if she was safe and unharmed, but apparently the air in his lungs wasn't enough, so he ended up mouthing those words.

"Robert..." Cora smiled, relieved to see the light blue of his eyes, but her concern was tremendous. "Hold on." She whispered, begging him with her steady gaze.

"Why?" Robert bent his mouth into an enigmatic expression, his brow wrinkled as he tried to steady his broken breaths.

" _Why_?" Cora frowned, completely befuddled by those words. Was she about to witness his departure? She couldn't. "What do you mean, why?" She sobbed, striving to keep a clear head.

"I need to know why." Robert whispered so low that she had to lean down to catch what he'd said. Those words carried the heartbreaking strength of someone's last speech upon the Earth. The idea made Cora cringe with fright; tears were now flowing, a mere representation of what was storming inside her body.

Cora understood the meaning hidden behind that cracked sentence was that Robert needed just a good reason to survive. Perhaps deep in his heart he knew that his future could have been lost again. His last wish was to know if she could have been the answer he was looking for. He'd told her in his letter how happy he felt just be at her side, how his life had gained a new meaning since she was back, even if not completely.

Cora well remembered how suddenly she realized that Robert had given her purpose in a way she didn't believe possible.

Being able to bear even the slightest memory of Robert in her head made her empty life worth living. She questioned why she was still breathing every morning since the accident, but now that she'd found even a portion of her memory, she couldn't stand the thought of losing it again.

Robert must have felt the same way.

He had become her anchor in the exact moment when her memories came back in a breathtaking wave of emotion. How powerful, how beautiful, how full their lives had been. Only these crumbs of what she'd been were able to make her tremble with passion!

How mighty was the bond that linked them? How pure? How true?

Cora needed to let him know that all the time he spent searching for her, his wife, had not been a waste. Their lives weren't worth living without being side by side. Now that she remembered and was able to reunite the two broken halves into a whole, big heart, they owned the key to restart as their old selves, nothing was lost. Nothing, if he just resisted.

Cora knew there would be no life without him.

"Because... I don't want you to leave me." She answered, barely above breath, as if she was afraid to say those words aloud. "I don't want to be apart from you, ever again." She leaned her hand on his cheek, supporting his heavy head, tears pouring down from her lashes to his cheekbone. She couldn't believe it could end like that. She kept brushing the drops away with her thumb, but soon enough they were replaced by new ones. Cora had to put aside all her inhibition, thinking about Robert and him alone. Life was so fragile. She couldn't believe that the perfect dream was falling over a hill, in a matter of minutes, like a superior will had snapped its fingers and cursed them. Her mouth went dry, her heart beating fast: it was now or never. "Robert, I can't live without you."

With those words, her husband smiled. He was so beautiful and peaceful.

Cora's stomach shrank with the heartbreaking feeling of losing everything that mattered, everything that made her miserable existence worth living.  
Her blue eyes were rimmed in red. Her sight was blurred and yet that couldn't even prevent her from watching Robert's fingers slowly tangle with hers.

But when she lifted her head to smile at him and tell him that everything was going to be fine now that they were together, Robert breathed and then he closed his eyes.

* * *

 _Ohh I'm cruel. Sorry :)  
Do not despair, nothing's lost for good.. you'll see what is going to happen in the next chapter. Believe me, it won't be long!_ _  
_

 _See you soon with the next update: " Fides"._

 _If you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)_


	16. Chapter 16 - Fides

NdA: Heyyy happy friday everyone! Hope you're all well :)  
As promised, a quicker update.. and here we're going to find out what _really_ happened. Is it the other guy's blood? Is Robert fine? Is he dead?

As always, I'd like to thank Mr./Mrs. Guest (x2),Dream of Ragtime, Emma, CarlisleandEsme, witchoesed, eyeon, granthamfan, Izzy & Countess of Cobert for the support and the reviews. You guys are awesome! And of course, the biggerst hug my lovely beta **CountessCora**.

Nothing more to say, for now.. _  
_

 _Enjoy_!

* * *

Chapter 16 – Fides

Cora shook Robert furiously once again, her fingers mercilessly wrinkling the fabric of his light jacket as she held onto him for dear life. He'd been her anchor for so long, even when she didn't even know who he was. He was the only thing keeping her sane, protecting her from the oblivion... and now? Now all was lost?

She couldn't believe Robert had just gone like that in an instant. It couldn't be true, it couldn't be possible. Live would be truly meaningless.

"Robert, please wake up." Cora begged again, her voice cracked by tears pouring down her cheeks. Moreover, she was unable to stop them from coming out of her eyes.

Yet what she could hear was silence. This silence hurt her ears, tore her heart in two and made her lungs burn as if she wasn't capable of breathing anymore.  
In this silence, she was angry with everything and everyone. Then Cora heard a dim yelp coming from his parted lips. She didn't know how much time had passed, but for her, it was an eternity of waiting, hoping, praying. Her world had stopped turning as yearned to know if her husband was safe.

* * *

All he could see was black. A dark limbo of spinning nothing without sound, smell or a single sensation. Was he dead? Was Cora safe?

Robert didn't care if all the time searching and finding had been a waste. Nor did he care if his life had ended as if with a snap of scissors cutting his life's wire. None of it faxed him if Cora was still alive, safe and sound. He would gladly have given his own life in exchange for hers. He would have done it years ago, upon their first falling in love, and he would do it now. Cora was still inside of the woman he'd known over the recent past. She was maybe hidden, but it was still his job to protect her and bring her safely home.

He wanted to cry because he would have given anything to know beyond any doubts that Cora was alive, that he had protected her with success. He only wanted to see her sparkling eyes again, touch her face, kiss her smile, so pure and beautiful. How much he would have paid to be in her arms again, feel her soft skin under his pads, smell her hair, hear her voice. How much he would have given to say her name again, to hear her sweet voice saying his... to take care of her, as it should have been, as they promised each other so many years before.

Robert fought the pain, even with the nothingness he felt, he fought tooth and nail to come back to her, even for an instant, even to say one last time that he loved her, with all his might...

* * *

After what appeared to be an eternity to both Cora and Robert, he parted his lips into a weak smile.

It all felt like a dream.

Robert wasn't dead. He'd never been dead. Cora wasn't alone. She'd never been alone.  
"You're..." Cora mumbled in shock, her knees getting wobbly, letting her fall with her bottom flat onto the street.

"Don't worry." Robert gasped, lifting his hand to reveal a cut that ran on his palm; it was nothing too deep nor too serious, but it had been enough to lose some blood and stain his shirt. He was unable to stop smiling with relief and happiness of having been able to protect her from all of that.

Robert had feared for his life for the entire time. When he felt the punch in his weakest spot, his sight went black and the pain took over his mind with a scary and oppressive grasp. If he was going to die, on the sidewalks of one of the most ugly places in London, he would have done with his wife by his side. Nothing would have been more sweet and beautiful to know that Cora wanted him, cared for him and cried for him. If even her mind had forgotten, her heart remembered the old love for him and knew that they were soul mates.

It broke his heart to see her so scared. Her trembling hand pressing onto her chest as if the gesture would cast away all she had seen. He'd caused her so much pain in the past. Cora had suffered since her wedding day for so much different reasons and the last thing he wanted was to start it all over again. They had been gifted with a new chance and Robert had no intention in wasting it. Yet was it still possible? Had he already spoiled their new beginning?

"Cora, I'm so sorry-"

"That was really unnecessary." Cora spat, enraged, her mind still wandering through all the possible outcomes, most of them anything but good. "You almost killed me." She attempted to stand onto her feet, putting as much distance as possible between the two of them but her legs were still so weak that she failed miserably. Everyone just kept telling her lies and manipulating her, and Cora could bear this no more. She was angry. "Why did you fake like that?" Cora asked sharply, wiping away the tears and the dampness over her chin and neck.

"I didn't." Robert mumbled faintly, trying a couple of times to sit up, his hand still on his abdomen. He'd failed. But somehow he also felt that nothing was lost yet. "He knocked me down." He sighed, taking deep breaths to get rid of the remaining pain. "But I'm fine, now, don't worry." Robert attempted to reach her hand to squeeze it, he even thought of kissing her on the cheek to show her that everything was fine, but Cora was evidently not of the same opinion.

As soon as he tried to lean closer to her, she turned on the other side, crossing her arms over her chest. She was still trying to get away but she didn't seemed to have control over her own body.

Maybe it hadn't been his fault, Cora reasoned. Maybe he had thought life was about to be cruel with them again. As much as she knew that being angry with him wasn't necessary, partly because she couldn't bring herself to feel that way, Cora wasn't furious with him anymore. The frustration she felt at the beginning was slowly being replaced by a new sentiment of happiness because he was alive, breathing next to her.

New tears of joy and relief started to stream down her face. He was safe. She would get to tell him those things. She was so utterly happy that she had him back. Maybe this was the proof that they weren't cursed, after all, just unlucky. Cora was bursting with joy because she had part of her life back but was also trembling with ardent anger because his first instinct was to laugh at the danger while she'd cried her heart out.

Cora was so glad and so furious with him. She felt something for that man whose very life had been in her hands. It would have killed her if he'd died.  
There was a bond that no one could ever be able to break.  
Perhaps they were not cursed at all, neither unlucky, but blessed.  
"You..." Cora gasped, taking deep breaths, shutting her eyes tight.

By her voice and her expression, Robert could tell that she was trying to be angry with him, but the joy was as overwhelming for her as much it was for him.

Robert thought her adorable as his love for Cora burst inside his whole body, making the tips of his fingers tickle with excitement. He had succeeded in making her fall in love with him again.

"I'm really sorry." Robert whispered, trying to touch her upper arm to brush it with all the tenderness he was had. "See, you may not recall, but not long time ago, I had an operation because of-"

"You're such... you're such a _donk_!" Cora yelled, slapping his hand as soon as it got too closer to her.

Robert froze, his eyes wide as his heart skipped a beat. That couldn't be true, unless...  
"What did you say?" He inquired, lifting his hand as if he could have been able to catch that word, the proof of her memories coming back.

"I said that you're a donk." Cora repeated firmly.

Robert was speechless. He started to gasp in excitement, peals of incredulous laughter escaping his lips as his left hand flew to his head, his fingers brushing through his own locks, his nails scraping his scalp. The pain was real, so he was hearing the truth. It was not just the present Cora talking, but it was his Cora, the old one, the one he knew, that was the mother, the granny.

"Do you remember?" He asked, his whole body tensed with waiting. He wasn't even sure if he was still breathing nor if his heart had stopped pumping blood inside his veins. And was it really blood rushing inside him? Wasn't it fire?

"Yes." she said faintly, a half smile curling her lips.

Robert felt like he could burst; maybe he was even able to fly in that moment. He just wanted to hold her and kiss her because the body that he would hold and kiss belonged to his wife, his Cora, his love.

"Ah!" He gasped once again, unable to stop grinning, as he held her, ready to kiss her passionately on the lips. Yet her tiny hand was once again pressed on his chest and although it was gentle, the area was still sensitive. He lifted his eyes to hers, asking her silently why did she stop if she truly remembered.

"But not much." Cora added shyly, lowering her chin and breaking their eye contact.

"Don't worry, darling." he chuckled, pecking her cheek with the lightest kiss ever. Robert stood up steadily; in that moment, nothing on Earth could lower his spirit. "Everything's will be fine, I promise." He offered her his hand, emphasizing the last word.

For a terrible, long moment, he feared she wouldn't take his hand, but after a wince, she gripped hardly at him until he pulled her up without any effort.

"Do you?" Cora asked with a fading smile, shifting her fingers on his upper arm, wrinkling the fabric as she used to. Even that tiny detail proved him that his wife was slowly coming back.

"Of course I do." He replied tenderly, locking his eyes on hers as he led her out from that place. "I'll show you the way back." Robert covered her gloved fingers with his and smiled.

* * *

"So, what exactly do you remember?" Robert asked curiously, carefully looking around them to avoid being hit by cars. They were heading to the park, that blessed park where it had all started, making him hope, making them reunite, pulling them almost apart; Robert wasn't sure if he hated that park or loved it. Frankly, it was the only place he could have thought for them to go in order to speak in peace and quiet.

"I remembered being with you in a beautiful place." Cora answered with a suffering sigh. "It was a hunting expedition, I think, but you couldn't care less about the shooting." She lowered her lashes and her cheeks immediately turned red at the memory of him, trying so hard to steal a kiss from her. "We were young, I suppose."

"Ah," Robert nodded, slowing his pace as soon as they reached one of the cobbled paths in the park. "I remember that day." He said with a grin. "It was the summer before we got married. You were just being presented to court and I invited you and your mother to attend a hunt. You were so breathtaking beautiful, Cora." He sighed, tilting his head up and breathing some fresh air. "You still are, of course." Robert added, both scared and pleased that the incident had done something good for her memories, even if he had almost risked his life.

"And then, when we danced the other day..." Cora continued, focusing her sight on their feet, pleasantly realizing how their steps were so similar. "I remembered so many waltzes and cakewalks, and cotillions... but it's all so confused. The only thing I'm sure of... is your face." Cora smiled shyly, locking her eyes with his for an instant. She had no idea how could she know the names of the dance names so well while having no clue how to perform any of them. But when Robert led her, Cora felt she could do anything.

Robert's heart skipped a beat. Her world could spin, just like in a ball, and yet she'd just told him that her only anchor was him, his face. That must have meant something in general, but to him it meant the whole world.

"And what else do you remember?" He inquired impatiently, unable to stop staring at her face, her beauty, her eyes, glowing with a thrill that he'd seen in her only few times.

Cora was slowly coming back, right under his nose. He had the privilege to witness it; Robert felt so unbelievingly lucky and proud of her.

"Nothing more." She whispered, biting her lower lip with a wince of guilt. "I'm so sorry."

"You remember only me?" Robert chuckled, both flattered and sad, because she still missed so much: her children and grandchildren who adored her. She couldn't recall their engagement nor their wedding, all the vacations together, the happy and sad moments in her life. But there was still time and she would recall it all, both the bright and the dark sides of life.

Robert would be by her side to support her forever because he'd sworn he would have never left her again.

"Come." Cora frowned at his chuckle, pulling him toward a drinking fountain. Before he could ask her what she intended to do, she gripped his left hand with a firm hold, forcing him to hold his wounded hand inside the basin full of clear and cool water. When the blood floated away, leaving just the open cut free of any other obstacles, she started to wash his whole hand, carefully removing all the dirt around the sensitive area.

Robert clenched his teeth the whole time, determined to show her his straight face and high pain threshold, but at the end he started to feel some tears stinging the inside of his lids.

"Is this your vengeance because I scared you before?" He hissed, looking sheepishly at his damp and hurting hand once she finished.

"Maybe." Cora spat, a sharp sigh escaping her lips as she saw the horrible state of her dress and, most of all, her gloves. Cora took them off, placing them carefully inside her coat. "I should buy new ones for Russell." She mumbled, hoping that the woman didn't have a particular affection for them.

"Who's Russell?" Robert asked absentmindedly as Cora stole his handkerchief from his pocket to turn it into a bandage for his hand. "Thanks." He mumbled, opening and closing his fist, trying to guess how painful that wound might become.

"She's the housekeeper and also the maid. So does everything... she's a good woman." Cora answered with a gentle voice at the memory of the woman, the first one who ever truly cared for her – when Cora still had no one.

"Does she takes good care of you?" He questioned, leading her to an empty bench, suddenly feeling tired. Or perhaps the simple desire to sit beside her, giving himself a good excuse to hold her, was simply too much.

"She does." Cora replied with a nod, sitting gracefully on the green bench first.

"I'll buy her a whole wardrobe, darling." He chuckled happily.

The sound infected Cora almost immediately: it was one of the sweetest sounds she'd ever heard, not to mention that made her heart rush.

"I'm so sorry I can't remember more." She admitted truly, not fearing at all the process of remembering. What could have happened in her life with a man like that by her side? He was handsome, caring, loving, funny and everything a woman could dream of... and she was truly lucky to be his wife.

"Give it time." Robert joined her few moments later, turning slightly so he could face her, leaning his elbow on the back of the bench to easily support his head.

It was so strange and familiar, the tickling he felt in his fingers. It was a sensation he well knew meant that his hand yearned to touch Cora's. So he tried, shyly at first, to get close to her slender fingers that gracefully leaned on her lap. His heart swelled with bursting joy when he felt their fingers tangling together, more like if she'd felt that sensation, too. Was she going along with her instinct? Was she totally conscious of the gesture? He didn't know, but it didn't matter, either.

"I can't even remember the day we married or.. the day I fell in love with you." Cora sighed, her eyes shining, so blue and stunning, locked with his. Was she really talking about love? Did she even know what love really was? Maybe she was just babbling nonsense. "You were ready to sacrifice your life for me."

"Of course I was." Robert promptly answered, tenderly squeezing her tiny hand in his, tracing invisible paths on her skin, paths he'd learnt thorough the years as the lines increased and the wrinkles appeared, lines she hated and he loved, proof that their love was everlasting and growing with them. "I'll always protect you, Cora." He said just above breath, as images of a distant past flickered in front of his eyes. A past he'd never forgotten and which he cherished every day "It's a promise." He added, trying to repeat the exact same words he'd used the first time.

And it seemed to work, because even if her smile was cracked and melancholic, her eyes glassy as if she was about to burst into tears, her hand was telling him that it was not long now.  
With her left hand, she was brushing her ring, without even realizing it. She knew, her heart knew.

"I don't think I deserve you." Cora whispered with a broken voice, trying so hard to avoid the slightest whimper.

"Don't ever say that." Robert's tone was caressing and loving. "You know everything, see?" He added, almost if he was singing a soothing lullaby to her as he showed what her finger was doing. "Take it off."

Cora frowned, puzzled, with a heavy heart she didn't know she still had, but she obeyed, trying a little to remove the golden ring and leaning it over her palm.

"You want it back?" She asked terror in her voice, her mind running wild, not able to catch a single thing that was happening in that very moment.

"Heavens no!" Robert chuckled, covering the back of her hand with his. "Didn't you notice?" He said with a grin, pointing at the inside of the jewel.

Cora drew a relieved breath, tightening her eyes to see what the carving said. She'd read it the first time when Peter brought it to her, making her believe that he was her husband; but he didn't tell her what it meant, maybe because he didn't know it himself.  
Was she about to solve the enigma? She brushed her fingertip tenderly over the inscription, dark and slightly ruined by time, but still legible.

"Fides." she read in a whisper.

* * *

 _16th February 1890_

 _She wasn't paying attention at all, now, as the Reverend spoke. She'd done her job, reciting all the formulas by heart, with loud and clear voice, she'd heard as Robert did the same, until the cold golden ring took place on the finger of her left hand as the Anglican minister declared them husband and wife._

 _It was a magical sensation, holding his hand now that she knew that he belonged to her as much as she belonged to him. What a marvelous sensation to be bound for life to the man she loved._

 _Her mother had never explained marriage like this. On the contrary, she always given her the impression of it being something inevitable, a duty that every girl, sooner or later in her life, must go through. Cora felt immensely lucky to be so unbelievingly happy and thrilled to finally grasp what she'd fought so hard to conquer._

 _When she first arrived in England, never in her life she would have thought she'd win Robert's heart, heir of Downton. Neither had she expected to love him in the most pure manner. Although she wasn't completely sure he loved her for who she was, or if her fortune was more alluring to him than her soul could have ever been, Cora knew that he was a good man, full of emotion he was eager to give and share. Why not her? The only girl in the country who loved him for real, the one who promised devotion and loyalty the first time he laid eyes on her? That day, at the ball, she had sworn to herself that if she was going to get married, it would have been to someone exactly like him, if Robert Crawley had refused._

 _Oh, how much she wanted to kiss him, right there, in front of all the people of Downton, in front of their mothers, to prove them she'd done it. Cora needed to show her own mother that she'd chosen the right man and to be her husband, to prove to the harpy that all her tries to make her yield had been lost forever._

 _She had fought so hard against everyone, even with polite manners, to discover for herself a little at a time, that she could charming Robert, and make her love for him visible. Eventually she'd won._

 _And there she was, down the aisle with him, holding his hand, just transformed from her fiancé to his forever wife. There were no words to describe how she felt in that moment._

 _When the music started to play again, Cora blinked, making her stunning blue eyes sparkling like diamonds of the finest cut. Her lashes danced around those bright pools of emotion where Robert got lost for an endless instant until his feet begun to move by themselves, leading his young wife down the aisle, with their back at the altar, as their family, friends, and all the guests scrolled at their sides, smiling and whispering loving words they couldn't catch. Someone even cried for them, but the real joy was storming inside Cora's chest with a bursting strength._

 _They began to laugh as soon as the light sunbeams greeted them along with the cool breeze of February and the celebrating smiles from all the citizens, gathered outside the church to be able to see the couple leaving for the honeymoon._

 _It was a special event, not just because it was the son of the earl of Grantham getting married, but because his spouse was a girl coming from the other side of the ocean. Despite everyone loving her friendly spirit and beautiful face that expressed pure grace and kindness, it was still a strange event to which everyone felt the need to attend in particular._

 _In a storming sea of white flags waving at the newlyweds, Cora and Robert, Viscount and Viscountess of Downton, climbed into the carriage pulled by grey horses, festively decorated with red feathers and ivory tulle, the big wheels covered in roses of the same colour, as the petals coming from every garden in the village flew high, covering the couple with a rain of candid softness. The sweet smell of the flower which blossomed only in that time of the year forever stuck into their minds._

 _"Are you happy, Cora?" Robert asked, a bright smile enlightening his whole face._

 _Cora stared at him for a long time, unable to answer his question. They'd left the celebratory crowd for a minute now, heading to the station to take their train and start their voyage in Europe. Yet she couldn't think of a better place to be than right there, beside the man she loved so deeply, her husband, about to live a perfect life._

 _"I'm ecstatic." Cora beamed, mirth in her voice. How much she loved seeing him so happy and thrilled, his hair brushed by the wind, his cheeks so pink and full, his lips constantly smiling._

 _It made her feel utterly flattered to know that she the reason for his happiness, the fact that they just gotten married._

 _"I want to show you something." Robert said excitedly, taking her left hand and lifting it a little, his thumb unable to stop brushing her soft skin. At first, he had been worried because he noticed that she hadn't brought her gloves with her. With the chilly weather, her skin would have turned red really quickly. But on the other side, he was tranquil because he was there for her. Actually, deep inside, he hoped that she might choose to not wear gloves to show the world the ring that declared her his wife._

 _"What, Robert?" Cora asked curiously, locking her eyes in his lighter ones._

 _"Take it off." he said, maybe a little more harshly than he intended._

 _Cora looked mortified and extremely sad when she retracted her hand, wrinkling her brow.  
"But I don't want to." She in a voice similar to a whisper._

 _"Just for a second, please." Robert's voice modulated his tone and now it seemed to be again caring and thrilled._

 _Cora smiled shyly, slowly obeying, with a cynical expression curving her features.  
"It's a beautiful ring," she sighed, caressing its cold and polished surface with her finger. "You chose this?"_

 _"I did, actually." Robert said proudly, leaning against the back of his seat, crossing his legs and fixing his sight on his wife, so beautiful, young and innocent. To his eyes, she was nothing but a precious creature to cherish from head to toe. "I made them put something inside it for you."_

 _Cora shifted he glance from Robert to the ring a couple of times her until the curiosity took over, making her narrow her eyes to read the inscription on the inner side of the precious jewel._

 _"Fides?" Cora read with a fading confidence. She'd always loved all the ancient languages, and back in America she was a good student of Latin and Greek. But now her happiness was completely filling her mind, making her question everything, even what she knew better than to doubt._

 _"Do you know what that means?" Robert questioned her with a frown, getting nearer to her, his face dangerously close to hers._

 _Cora parted her lips, a strange heat growing from her core._

 _"Faith?" She tried, biting her lower lip. "Oh, Robert, I'll be faithful, I promise." She said, swallowing hard and her tiny hand went instinctively to grasp his thigh to show him that she truly meant those words._

 _Robert blushed._

 _"No, not that." He whispered with a flat voice. "It means promise." He drew a short breath, then smiled, when her lips bent up into a touched expression. "I want to make you happy and I want to keep you safe, Cora, always. That's my promise." He nodded and, for the second time in less than and hour, he made that ring shift smoothly onto her finger. "I don't want you to ever forget this." He said sincerely, lifting her hand and kissing her knuckles. "As long as you wear this, my dear, I'll be there watching over you."_

 _Cora was speechless, unable to stop staring at him, her eyes watery and full untold words of love and devotion for him and him only that weren't for his ears to hear yet._

 _Why a man like that would have done something so romantic and special for his wife if he didn't love her?_

 _She felt her heart pumping painfully in her ribcage, her torso screaming for a little peace since it had been shrunken up into a corset of traditional whale bones that made her loose her breath. And now Robert was playing his part of stealing her air with gestures of fondness she didn't know he had._

 _"It's a forever promise?" She asked, closing her fist to protect the most precious object she owned. It was as precious to her from that moment on as the first flower he gave her, his handkerchief with his initials sewed in one corner, the card of the balls filled with his name._

 _"Forever, dear." Robert said gracefully, his cheeks turning red when she leaned over him to kiss his temple as a thanks._

 _Cora knew that maybe she wasn't going to get real love from him, but nothing would ever stop her from trying for it and believing in it. Robert was a gem already and she simply adored him; if that was the closest thing to love she could get, Cora was happy and would be happy for as long as she lived._

* * *

aaand everything went well. We're getting closer and closer to the ending; will it be a happy one or not? Will she remember, eventually?  
In the meanwhile, wait for the next chapter named "Ready".

If you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)


	17. Chapter 17 - Ready

NdA: Hellooo hello! Sorry for the delay guys but, you know, life happens and.. well, anyway, I hope you're all well and _ready_ for this new chapter. I wanted to let you guys know that I'm on my way to write the last chapter of this story, so I can tell you that "the way home" is going to be 20 chapters long (and the 19th it's the longest I've ever written I mean I'm so proud of myself XD).

I'd like to thank all of you, even the silent readers, but in particular the people who left a review. It means so much. Big kisses to Emma, witchoesed, lemacd, Countess of Cobert, granthamfan, Dream of Ragtime, Dr. Serpico & sinceyoufellinlovewithme.  
The biggest to my wonderful and caring beta **CountessCora**. I'd be lost for real without you!

Sorry if I digress with things but I've got some news for you lovely people:  
News1: I'll join the _#Cobert holiday fanfic exchange_ project as an author _._ I'm very thrilled and I can't wait to start.. I'll try my best!  
News2: some of you might know this, but for those who don't, I'm working on another fanfiction "Expecto" which is going to be a crossover with Harry Potter. The prologue will be published on Christmas hopefully, all info on my tumblr page.

Allright, I've talked enough for today :) I'll leave you to the chapter.. e _njoy_!

* * *

Chapter 17 - Ready

Cora spun her ring around her finger for the whole taxi ride.

So much had happened in the last hours that she hardly believed she was awake instead of dreaming. Her her mind had been assaulted by a rash of disunited memories. The images she'd seen in the previous days started to combine with the new ones, giving new meanings that were cradled by the constant presence of Robert and his voice, slowly shaping that part of her life that she wasn't able to knead on her own.

She had been silently playing that awful scene of the night of the accident in her head, like a broken record, terror hitting her damaged heart in painful waves. Had she witnessed a murder? Was Robert really going to sacrifice himself as her maid had done? Cora felt so powerless... everybody felt the need to put their own lives in danger for her. Cora felt she was not worthy of all that loyalty. Their lives now were far more important than hers. If the maid was dead, Cora felt in her heart she would have never been able for forgive herself.

"How's Phyllis?" Cora asked with a sharp sigh, her voice cutting the air inside the car. She'd closed her eyes, fearing the answer. Only then she realized that Robert was gripping her hand the entire time but she had been too caught up in her own mind to notice.

"Phyllis?" Robert locked his eyes to her face, studying her scared expression.

"Baxter. My maid?" She added with a wince, now unsure if that name really belonged to a woman they knew. Had Cora really had a maid, one whose name belonged to the woman whom Cora was imagining? Could it be the same person of whom she was thinking?

"Oh." Robert nodded shyly. "She's fine. She has only an injured arm and she's very concerned about you." He sighed profoundly, smiling when he saw her lashes gazing up and her sparkling irises brightening at the light of the dying sun. "Do you remember her?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

Cora nodded and lowered her chin.

How curious was the human mind. It could remember a common maid but leave out an entire family, a love, a home, a childhood. Cora was lost in so many places, with enormous gaps everywhere that prevented her from remembering all what mattered. Robert felt a little hurt because she knew Phyllis Baxter but not her life with her husband nor her daughters.

"She threw herself toward those men, protecting me in the meanwhile." Cora whispered, words coming out from her mouth like a knife pulled out from the flesh. How horrible that experience had been, now that she remembered what happened, how frightful she had been, how lonely she'd felt. "Just like you did."

"You're a kind soul, Cora. You've been good to her. I love you and I promised I would always protect you." Robert lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles "You're worth it."

"I don't know about that." Cora breathed out, a broken smile appearing on her lips.

"She helped us in her own manner." Robert added, ignoring that last comment, basking in the little detail that proved that his wife was coming back to him, slowly and discontinuously as a broken clock that however keeps running. Cora had always been a humble one. As much as he wanted to tell her otherwise, to make her think a little better of herself, he chose to stay silent. Robert's heart beat quicker because they were drawing closer to Rosamund's house, to Edith, to Baxter, to the people with who he shared that hellish adventure, with the two lost parts of their souls finally reunited.

Robert paid the taxi and exited first, offering her his hand to do the same.

The grey house stood gloriously in front of them, its squared facades that gave the block of stone a modern elegance with just a hint of tradition. The building just screamed the owner's name. Cora had met her for a short time at the fair, but somehow she felt she knew Rosamund far better that she thought; maybe her husband's sister had been a dear friend of hers.

"Are you ready?" Robert inquired, taking his hat off and leading her toward the small steps of white stone before the front door.

Cora nodded shyly, internally revising all the things she knew about that family that had once been hers.

Robert was so proud of Cora's bravery, her will and curiosity to discover what was hidden inside her heart. The trust she was putting in Robert made him extremely happy because he knew that she was now dreaming of a better future, the manor of Downton, the glorious life about which he had told her. She dreamed with no restraints, as long as he was by her side telling her stories and memories she didn't recognize anymore, and that she would have, one day – he was sure about that.

He was about to pull the cord to ring the bell but suddenly Cora stepped back, her face a mask of terror.

Robert feared she was about to call herself out from all that.

Her eyes were wide open, she was gasping and slightly shaking her head.  
"Wait." she breathed out, lines forming on her temples as she was striving to remember something, something that was on the tip of her tongue, but couldn't speak of.

"What is it?" He asked, puzzled as he shifted in front of her, putting his back to the door. His hand went to grasp her tiny shoulders, giving her a reassuring squeeze as his eyes studied her expression.

"I can't- I don't-" Cora mumbled vaguely, pressing her hand to her brow. She shook her head again, sighing sharply, her memory working without success. She had no choice but to ask him... for how bitter, embarrassing and wrong could it be to ask "What's her name?" Cora avoided his look for she knew tears would surely start to pour.

"Whose name?" Robert was puzzled. She just told him she remembered the maid. He had introduced her to his sister at the fair. No one was missing from the list, except for...

"Our daughter's." She murmured. The mother inside her cringed at the thought that she had to ask her husband to remind her of the name of her child. She'd remembered her little face a few times, thanks to Wendy, imagined the girl running to her arms, knowing what it felt like to hug her and carry her little toddler body to their house. How could Cora, as her own mother, recognize only the little girl and not the gorgeous woman she'd become?

"Edith." Robert said with a reassuring smile, softening his worried features. "She'll understand, Cora." He added, trying to comfort her whenever something inside her head would fail to process correctly.

"Edith." Cora repeated, the sound so familiar in her ears. "You chose it?" A hint of a smile graced her lips as the memory flicked before her eyes, even though she couldn't properly catch it.

"I did." He replied, a tender laugh escaping his lips. "You didn't like it at first." Robert shook his head, his wife's figure flashing before his eyes as she held their newborn in the birth bed. "But I guess we're even since I didn't like Mary, either, the first time you suggested it."

"Mary?" Cora's blue eyes blinked in surprise. She remembered seeing another girl with Edith when that memory came to her mind as she watched Wendy at the fair. "How many children do we have?" She asked, her cheeks turning pink for no apparent reason. Cora felt quite thrilled by the news, although she didn't know why. However, she had a special place in her heart for children. Maybe it was her motherly instinct or it could have simply been her nature. But knowing she had had children made her feel cheerful.

Robert swallowed, looking back at his wife with a blank expression. He'd made a mistake and surely he didn't have the courage to rip her happiness apart. What was he supposed to say? Two or three? Was now the right moment to tell her that they'd lost their youngest daughter?

"Come." Robert sighed with a cracked grin, placing his hand on the small of her back to urge her inside. "All in good time, my dear." He said and since they agreed to not speed things up, it felt like a good excuse to change subject.

Cora thankfully didn't complain.

* * *

When the door flew open, dim candlelight welcomed then in the great hall. Cora felt quite suffocated by the massive furniture of heavy marble and hardwood that rested on a wide carpet of intricate patterns. For a long moment, she seriously considered turn right around to run away; yet, when she lifted her eyes, she met Roberts gaze. That meant everything. He gave her strength and courage and love to face everything with a simple glance.

"Welcome back, Milady." Cora startled a little, turning her befuddled face to the butler, who was staring higher, somewhere behind her. "Milord."

"Good evening, Phillippe." Robert smiled vaguely at the man, who always seemed terribly cold to him, unlike Carson, but he hadn't time to complain and point out how rude his conduct was. He'd seen Cora for the first time, after all, but he still greeted them like nothing had happened. "Will you please call Baxter, please, and send her to the library? And tell the cook that Lady Grantham is dining with us tonight."

"Of course, Milord." The butler clicked his heels and after a little bow disappeared in one of the darker corridors.

In a moment of total confusion, Cora asked herself if she was about to meet another guest or if that mysterious other lady was indeed herself. She had heard Russell say that name while telling what she knew about her story, but she couldn't be sure, not until Robert's comforting smile and the gentle squeeze of her hand told her that she was safe and that everything was fine.

"Are you sure I won't be a problem?" Cora asked, her curious eyes wandering restlessly around, willing to peek inside the first room with the door ajar.

"We are all so fond of you, darling, everyone will be happy to hear you're back." He grinned, brushing the back of his finger over her cheekbone. "Now, help me surprise my sister." Robert led her through the corridor, pushing the first door open with his palm.

The bright light of an electric chandelier hit them both like a wave, making them blind for an instant. They both grinned at the surprise, entering the room with a chuckle ready to escape their mouths but they fell silent and grave when they saw Rosamund standing in the middle of the room, staring back at them. Her piercing blue eyes were watery and her lower lip was trembling slightly.

"You really brought her back, brother." The red-haired woman attempted a step toward them, but she stopped, gasping, her hands both pressed on her heart. She'd missed her best friend so much. She'd felt lonely in silence because she didn't feel worthy of showing pain regarding a sister-in-law, when her brother and niece had lost much more than that. But Rosamund had suffered, too. Now she couldn't keep that a secret anymore.

"I keep my promises, Roz." Robert smiled with a proud wince, as he helped Cora out of her light coat and took her hat, like a butler would do. He was happy about it because now he knew that no one but himself and their family would stand so near to his wife. Now Cora was like a simple puppy to guide, protect and cherish. He wanted to take the responsibility personally; it was his duty as her husband and it was his will as the man who loved her.

"I missed you, Cora." Rosamund walked closer to her in the meanwhile and she hugged Cora, instantly shying away when she felt that her sister-in-law didn't hug her back the way she used to. But Cora was happy to see Rosamund. It made Rosamund so gloriously happy to see that shimmer of hope in Cora's eyes that had not been present at the fair, a glow that only Robert's love could have woken up.

Cora didn't know how to answer but she smiled brightly, squeezing her hand when Rosamund held hers.

"Thank you for letting me stay for dinner." Cora said politely, letting the other woman drag her toward the couch.

"Nonsense, dear." Rosamund huffed. "You're always welcome here." Cora was about to join her on what appeared to be one of the most comfortable sofas she'd seen in a while, but the door of the library slowly opened with a squeak. Her world had its light back. In her memory, Cora could see Robert walking from that door in so many different jackets, in so many different times. Her heart started to beat faster. Cora been in that room before, she'd waited for Robert to fill the emptiness. How strange could it be to feel alone even while surrounded by people, while Robert had the power to wash away that sensation, without saying a word?

"Edith's not home yet, isn't she?" Robert smoothed his shirt, mumbling in dislike when he noticed that it wasn't exactly the right outfit for a such important dinner. "I should change."

"My God, Robert! What happened?" Rosamund rose to her feet, scolding her younger brother with a glare. She surely was worried, too, but she wasn't able to show it because of her features and her English training on how to hide emotions.

"Oh, it's really nothing." Robert looked down to the stain of blood on his stomach "It's a long story, anyway. I'll tell you later." He mumbled, thinking about the best moment to ring for Molesley without missing too much quality time with Cora.

"Here they are," Rosamund sighed with a shake of her head, looking first to Robert, then Cora, her red locks bouncing on her shoulders. "The happy couple of Downton back together, messing up and causing troubles and anxieties since 1889." Rosamund scoffed playfully, letting herself fall upon the sofa at Cora's side.

Robert grinned, a proud look bending his features; he almost beamed when he looked at Cora, whose face was low, cheeks red and eyes glimmering. Maybe her heart was clicking along to new information from recalled memories. Were her heart and mind going to unlock any time soon?

"But you love us so, Roz." Robert sighed with a grin, sitting on his favourite armchair, leaning the nape of his neck on the back pillow of soft and warm fabric.

"You said so." Rosamund replied with a chuckle, turning her head when the door opened again, revealing the delicate figure of Phyllis Baxter as she emerged from the dark corridor, revealing that her arm was still in the sling.

"Oh, here you are, Baxter!" Robert welcomed her in the small room, standing up on his feet as it was custom. It was not, however, the custom for maids, and particular, but Robert was so happy that he couldn't care less about ranks.

Phyllis was clearly overjoyed to see her master and wife reunited. To see Cora safe and sound before her eyes! What Phyllis had done served to something at the least... all the guilt and the sleepless nights, all the thinking.

"I'm so glad to see you again, milady." Phyllis beamed, seeing on the spot with her own eyes that the dreadful adventure was finally coming to an end.

She wanted to hug her mistress because Cora was now the proof that an ordeal of mistakes and bad choices, started years ago, had been defeated. Even through suffering and a malevolent fate, everyone had won their little battles.

"Thank you, Baxter." Cora smiled warmly at the woman, barely holding herself back from hugging her because the maid had done so much for her since that night. "For saving my life." Both women silently shared the memory of the accident and a cold chill ran down their spines almost simultaneously.

"I better return downstairs." Phyllis murmured, her cheeks on fire. "It's good to have you back, milady." Phyllis attempted a little bow and then exited the room after Rosamund gave her the permission with a warm smile and a nod.

Rosamund just told them that Edith had go to to the paper. Edith wanted to be the first in town to give the people the happy news of her mother being found, putting the words 'the end' to a story that had hooked a lot of people.

Edith often talked about adding a little section in her paper with an episodic story based on what happened. During the day, she'd even interviewed some talented ladies who were also storytellers. It was all still a new project, so Rosamund thought it better to not bore them with something Edith might want to tell her parents herself.

They were all enjoying a little moment of quiet when the bell rang. Then the door to the library opened for the fourth time in less than thirty minutes. This time, the person who came through the door didn't only carry happiness and enthusiasm but also showed thrill and relieved tears.

Edith kept all of the emotions those rose within her to herself as the person stepped inside the room because she had to ask herself whether or not she was dreaming.

"Mama?" Edith breathed out, so low that Robert himself – a few steps away from her – had trouble hearing her. She was staring in her mother's eyes with a gaze full of hope and good thoughts... yet she was so scared that she would receive another rejection that she wouldn't be able to bear.

Mama remembered her father, her aunt, probably her maid, but what about her daughter? Edith had not spent enough time with her mother lately, which she bitterly regretted. She'd been so caught up with her life and job that she took her mother for granted. Now that she'd lost her, Edith feared that the piece of her mama's heart that once belonged to her was now completely gone.

Cora had risen to her feet, her eyes incapable of breaking contact, for she saw something familiar in those hazel eyes, the enigmatic smile and the soft dimples in her chin that reminded her of a place that had the distant warmth of home.

"Hello, Edith, dear." She whispered.

The other woman's face lit up immediately with a wide smile despite the tears that had streamed down her cheeks only seconds earlier.

Edith held her mother into a tight embrace, her eyelids closed as she smelled the familiar scent of her mama. While her hair didn't exude the essence of lemon verbena, it was still mama. She inhaled deeply, smiling tenderly when they parted. It was not like one of her mother's usual hugs. It was colder and stiffer but still she could not expect much from a woman who didn't remember her, a woman that probably knew the only the bare essentials about her – yet it was so much more than the icy indifference of the first time they met after the accident, when she tried to call her mama but Cora had barely tensed her body. It was a big improvement from then and Edith couldn't help but hope for the best.

"Are you going to stay for dinner?" Edith asked and Cora shyly nodded.

"If you'll have me." Cora smiled tenderly, looking for everyone's approval as Edith shifted into her father's warm embrace, tears secretly wiped from their faces. It was a silent hold that bore all the shades of victory, happiness, and a broken family that finally was slowly getting back together.

Cora watched the tender scene with an absent smile, only guessing what it meant for them to have her back in their lives. Being in a familiar house was only a step away from bringing her home and back to her old life. It was a scary thought, but yet Cora knew that she would have to continue searching for that missing piece. She needed to decide to act and trust the people who declared themselves her family, the only one with whom she'd felt right after that night.

"I must make a call." Cora piped up, leaning toward Rosamund to avoid spoiling the perfect father-daughter moment that warmed her heart.

"Of course." Rosamund beamed, leading her toward the main hall. "Take all the time you need. We'll be in the library. I'll leave the door ajar, my butler keeps forgetting to change the candles." She rumbled and then left, mumbling about installing the electricity in all the rooms of the house and not just in the most important ones, as her husband had suggested years back.

Cora smiled, happiness spreading inside her body. Everything felt so familiar and natural that it was almost scary – was it really possible to feel so right among those who were practically strangers?

"I'd like to make a call." Cora said politely as soon as a voice spoke on the other end of the phone. She waited for instructions and then gave the Banks' address, sure that she hadn't seen a device at Peter's house. Cora asked for Mrs. Russell and waited patiently for the woman to come to the receiver, making a mental note to herself to remember to thank Wendy's family for all their troubles as soon as possible. They'd all been so kind to her.

" _Milady_?"

Cora almost startled when she heard the woman's voice into her ear. She sounded worried.

"Mrs. Russell?" She paused to get confirmation. "I just wanted to tell you that I'll stay at Mrs. Painswick's house for dinner." Cora bit her lower lip, shutting her eyes tight. Did anyone tell her Rosamund's last name or had she just remembered that by herself?

" _I'm glad, milady. Very glad_." Russell's voice came from the phone, sweet and happy as always. " _So, how long will you stay?_ "

Cora stood silent for a while. That question upset her in some way, making her heart beat faster, her lungs to cringe without feeling enough air to speak.

Her eyes were locked at the door from where the bright light came, and the dim laughter of the people inside the room reached her ears. They were all so beautiful, her family.  
She was thinking about them, saying 'her family' to herself. For the first time in days, she felt closer to belonging to something than before. It was frightening but warm, alarming but yet so beautiful that it left her speechless.

" _Milady? How long will you stay?_ "

Cora could sense the little smile that curved Russell's mouth as she spoke, like if she knew more than Cora herself. Somehow she always did.

The woman smiled, her cheeks burning and her heart pumping almost painfully inside her throat. She knew that the question was not just about the dinner, but so much more. What if Robert asked her if she wanted to go home with him? What she would say?

She shook her head slightly and inhaled deeply, her eyelids closed.

"I don't know, Russell. I don't know."

* * *

What was she was doing there, without knowing what to do? Why was she so dubious about knowing the truth about herself, when on the other side there was another daughter and maybe someone more, even grandchildren? There was a house full of people who knew her and loved her deeply... what was holding her back?

She'd built so little in those days, yet that little was her whole. Little Wendy was the closest thing to family she had during those lonely days Russell was her only friend when no one had been there for her, to take care of her, to talk to her and comfort her.

Cora felt so ungrateful to leave everything behind and erase that little she'd created. She felt selfish and evil to wish for what she'd lost, for better or worse, to wish for her previous life when she was about to build another one there.

And, yet what else could she hope for when Robert warmed her heart with just one glance? When Edith made her heart jump every time she smiled, when Rosamund made her cheerful any time she spoke? Somehow Cora knew all of these people deeply. She belonged with her family.

"What are you thinking, Cora?"

Hearing her name, the woman stirred on her chair and the fork tumbled on the ceramic with a pierced clink.

"I'm sorry." Cora looked around, blushing slightly and lowering her chin. "I got distracted."

"That's fine, mama." Edith held her breath when her mother immediately tilted her head. It seemed to have the power to wake her up from some sort of dream, yet there was always something that didn't feel completely right in the way Cora looked back at her. "You probably won't even remember what I was talking about." The blond woman gasped, taking a long sip from her glass of water, striving not to cry. She felt guilty for the way she'd talked to her mama, but couldn't help herself.

"I'm very proud of your paper." Cora mumbled.

Edith immediately put down her glass, blankly watching the woman in front of her with a mortified look. Did her father tell mama about her job? Did she remember?

The young woman looked for her papa's glance to get some information, yet he seemed more befuddled than her.

"You know _the Sketch_?" She inquired, her voice broken.

"Russell- the housekeeper, had one of your papers back at Peter's." Cora explained, a bright smile appeared on her pale lips. "I think you do an excellent job." She said sincerely, nodding reassuringly when Edith smiled back at her with watery eyes as if she was about to cry.

"I'm sorry-" Edith gasped, but Cora shook her head, telling her that everything was fine. How could she be mad if she was the first one reacting strangely about everything? How could everyone expect to behave normally when that very situation was totally unconventional?

There was a long pause where only the dim noises of the cutlery hitting the ceramic filled the air. It was not too tense, just a quiet moment where everybody reveled in each other's company.

Robert decided he'd waited long enough. He could not dine another time without his wife beside him. Now that she was there, he had to take action and speak. He would do everything to fix the situation, his heart and his family in the first priority.

He sharply turned toward her, the legs of his chair squeaking with the friction of the waxed floor.

"How do you feel?" Robert's voice was strong and demanding while his eyes bore a shade of desperation. It took all his strength not to take her hand in his and squeeze it abs beg her to return home with no restraints of any sort. He would implore her to kiss him because he'd longed for her taste for so long. He missed her so much. Robert wanted his wife back, body and soul. Maybe if he'd tried hard enough, he would have won.

"I'm feeling good," Cora chuckled falteringly, puzzled by the unexpected question. "I suppose." She frowned a little, looking at Rosamund out of the corner of her eye for support. The only man in the room was behaving quite strangely from everyone's point of view, his purpose still not clear.

Robert shifted on the edge of the chair, getting closer to her, locking his eyes on the blue diamonds in her irises.

"But are you happy?"

And suddenly, there were just the two of them in the room.

There was no food, no daughters, nor sisters, no yesterday nor tomorrow, but just them, living the moment, longing for answers and certainties. Their world wasn't settled yet. All was in the balanced and it would have been simple to fall over onto the wrong side. They were both holding onto a breath of air.

"I-" She gasped, without really know what to say. "I don't know."

It was then that Robert stretched his arm to her, grasped her hand with a smooth movement. His thumb went immediately to brush her skin, so soft and familiar under his finders. How could he have gone to sleep that night, knowing she wouldn't be at his side?

"Because I promised I'd make you happy," he whispered low, "and I always keep my promises."

Cora saw his eyes fill with tears. It broke her heart to see him that way, the man who was ready to sacrifice his life for her... the one who had told her so many things and helped her remember. He made her feel right as the only one who was able to understand her and save her from the oblivion.

"I know you do, but-" she gasped, her own voice becoming unsteady. She tilted her head and shut her eyes tight. She wanted to accept him right away, yearning to just remember and get rid of all the fear, restraints and the blindfold that covered her eyes, ears and heart.

"The last thing I want is to fail with my own wife." Robert's chin was trembling and his breaths became sharp and painful as his grip became stronger.

"I don't want to disappoint you, Robert." Cora whispered, fearing he might lose hope. She was scared that he might give up on her at some point, even if his eyes told her otherwise.

Robert lowered his chin, a sharp sob escaping his lips as the desperation hit him in a big wave of sorrow and discomfort. What if she rejected him? What if he'd spoiled everything? What if he could've saved all if just he'd waited a little longer? But now it was too late. He would either have nothing or everything. There was no in between.

"Come home with me, Cora," Robert stated, louder than he intended, slightly pulling both her hands toward himself. "At Downton, I'll make you happy." He promised, his eyes unable to unlock from hers. "Happier than you'll ever be."

How many times had he ignored her, not cherishing her like he should have? How many times had he suspected his wife wasn't completely happy but had just waited for the moment to pass? Never again, he would not let that happen.

Cora swallowed hard. With the next blink of her sapphire eyes, the dark faded away and the room returned to its original view, with the table set, food, smells, the candle burning and two people in perfect silence in waiting for her final answer.

She was suffocating.

It was true that she didn't have a proper life there, not like the one he were offering. She didn't have a loving husband, nor a daughter or family at all. She owned no house or real clothing. Cora didn't even have a hat that was her own! The decision looked so simple, now, yet she felt frightened. But why, when everything she always wanted was there waiting for her with open arms?

Changes. Changes scared her more than anything. Since since that night, all the decisions she'd made had proved wrong, _so_ wrong. What was it that every time she seemed to find her balance from one change to another, something happened to upset her entire world? For the better or worse, she didn't like changes. What if, once she arrived at Downton, life might turn out to be like nothing she'd imagined? What if she couldn't find her memories even there? It was her last resort. If it turned out to be useless, she might not be able to cope with the disappointment of it all. Cora doubted she'd have the strength to even stand up again.

"I don't think I have enough courage for that," Cora gasped again, bending her lips into a fake smile that didn't belong to her. "I am sorry." She was about to riseonto her feet, but Robert just wouldn't let her go.

Cora had no other option than to remained seated, his eyes calling desperately for hers.

"I'm begging you, Cora." He sighed deeply, letting that word, that he had tried so hard not to use, escape from his lips. "Please, you've got nothing to lose."

Cora didn't like the hint of assumption inside his voice, but she also had to admit that Robert wasn't wrong at all.

Was she about to embrace a change one more time? She knew it might be her last. Cora needed to take the risk. She realized that she was going to do it anyway, at some point. What not here and now?

"So, will you come home, mama?" Edith asked her, hope glimmering in her hazel eyes. "With us?"

Cora smiled.

She wanted so much to be what they wanted: a wife, a mother, and why not, even a daughter who was about to return home. _Home_ , yes, because she hadn't felt at home in such a long time. Something always felt wrong or out of place, but not when Robert was beside her. Not when Edith talked or smiled at her. Not there, not then, when she was surrounded by people whom she didn't know, yet her heart did.

"Yes." She said, her voice so weak that Cora herself doubted she'd even spoken in the first place. "Yes. I will come with you."

* * *

Robert had insisted on buying train tickets for the next morning, so they had used the night to pack everything in both houses. Robert found the time to restore their London House, declaring it safe again so that Mr. Chase could come back as the keeper of the manor. They didn't sleep at all until the wee hours, when everything was settled, but the thrill kept everyone awake even then.

Cora was with Russell and Edith, discussing the latest arrangements. The house had been given to a nun association that helped the poorer kids of London to get a good education. The maid would go to Edith's apartment as soon she moved permanently to the city – and Russell even agreed on being Marigold's nanny. But that didn't reach Cora's ears since they all agreed to let her gradually acquaint with the family.

The last thing Cora did was to visit Wendy at her house to thank the little girl and her parents for everything they'd done to help her. The woman had so much feared that moment because she wouldn't be able to bear the girl looking angry and disappointed. But nothing of the sort happened. Wendy just smiled and hugged her contentedly, for her real life queen was going back to her castle.

Cora had to call on all of her strength to not cry from happiness. How kind that girl had been with her! At Robert's suggestion, she gave Wendy and her family a forever invitation to Downton as the most honourable guests.

Robert was feeling over the moon, and he would have given the world to all the people who made it real, having his wife at his side, if that had been possible.

* * *

When they finally arrived at the station, the white smoke surrounding them and the high whistle of the trains rang in their ears. His heart felt as though it would stop because maybe it was only then that he realized how lucky he was to have a such brave woman gripping his hand.

If only she knew how scared he was. What if something went wrong? What if all his wishes turned out futile? And what had given her the strength that she hadn't seemed to have before? What if she lost it at some point? Would he be able to restore it for her?

When their train approached, Robert stood in front of the first class door without getting aboard. He wanted to taste every bit of that moment where Cora was so beautiful and thrilled for everything that was waiting for her at the next stop! She was climbing onto the train as one woman and would leave as a totally different one with a world to conquer. Robert he would be there by her side, like always, as he promised.

"Ready to go home?"

Cora smiled brightly to him, all her fears suddenly disappearing. The fears had been firmly locked inside her, but now held captive between their tangled fingers. As long as her hand was in his, she felt strong and also thrilled, for a little tickle was prickling the bottom of her stomach.

Robert was her rock in a spinning world of unanswered questions, fears, lights, better futures and tormented pasts, endless ifs, buts and maybes that kept hitting her in a powerful wave. Robert was her anchor, the only thing that was sure and right, the only one who she would follow because he was her better future, she could feel it.

"I am," Cora whispered, taking a small breath. "ready to do anything, as long as you're holding my hand." She looked away, sharing a brief moment with Edith, too, as the two joined their hands with a smooth and tender movement.

They were all together now, like the family they were, the family she'd lost and now found again.

Robert smiled with his heart, his eyes watery as he kissed his wife's knuckles, reinforcing his grip on that bittersweet memory. Of course, she didn't remember the time after the accident that took their unborn baby away. He was glad, thanking only that aspect of amnesia. Robert smiled at her words that now had taken a whole new meaning, with the taste of a better and rosier beginning.

* * *

I needed some fluff. Didn't you?  
There's never enough fluff, so try to imagine what will happen next, with the chapter called "Left Behind".

Also, if you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)


	18. Chapter 18 - Left behind

NdA: Hello guys! I missed you :) Sorry I'm late, the holidays really messed up with my schedule, but now I'm here, ready for a new year of Cobert. I hope this chapter is worth the wait, anyway.

First of all, I'd like to wish everyone a lovely year (even if I'm a bit late), and as always thank the people for leaving a review: witchoesed, Emma, granthamfan, Countess of Cobert, Dream of Ragtime, Amiliana Martin & eyeon. The biggest hug to beta **CountessCora**.

For those who are interested I'm currently writing _"The Lost Child"_ , third and last story of the horror trilogy, featuring young Cobert.

That said, e _njoy_!

* * *

Chapter 18 – Left Behind

 _Early September 1888_

 _Cora fidgeted in her seat, the clean window of the train before her working almost like a mirror, creating a bothersome blaze that prevented her from admiring the landscape. It was so different from both America and even London, unlike all the other surrounding estates she'd visited so far._

 _When she was invited to have tea at one of her new friend's London houses, the manor was big and the woods around it bore the sweet smell of tress and flowers. Surely she loved escaping the crowded city to visit the country with all the mighty houses of different styles and_ _nothing was comparable to it. Cora had to take the train, heading north to Yorkshire with her mother to spend a day at Downton Abbey. Lord Grantham's heir and first son, the kind man who invited her to dance during so many coming-out balls of the season, had issued the invitation. It was the longest trip since the one from America and Cora was happily nervous._

 _"Stop fussing like that, Cora, you'll ruin your dress." Her mother's voice reached her tensed ears loud and clear.  
_

 _Cora was barely twenty years old and still she kept the enthusiasm she had as a girl. She was a very polite human being, well taught and loved to learn, but nothing was helpful... not even the strict British education and training she'd received since an early age, to win over her fevered personality when she was about to do something new and potentially unusual._

 _"Yes, Mother." Cora sighed, staring at her own reflection in the glass. She shared nothing with the woman sat beside her, starting from the features and ending with the personality. Since her beloved father passed away, Martha had devoted her life to finding good matches and marriages for both Cora and her brother. Because Harold was not the marrying type, Cora was the unlucky recipient of all of her mother's oppressive attention in the last year. It had been decided since her birth that Cora would marry an English man. Now that it was about to happen, her mother did not take her eyes off Cora for a single instant. She was preparing for that moment all her life and everything must have done magisterially._

 _"Men are fools, especially the young British type." Martha mumbled, inspecting her appearance with a critical look._ _"Do everything that you've been taught and you'll conquer the boy's heart."_

 _"Of course, Mother." Cora lowered her chin, opening the book she'd brought with her. She glanced at it without really reading the pages, her mind flying away somewhere over those green hills._

 _She didn't think men were fools. Some of them might have been, but not him. Surely she had tried to be as proper and polite as she could, but her first encounter with him at Lady Judith's afternoon tea hadn't been anything conventional or proper by the laws of society, and yet it had been beautiful._

 _She wasn't smiling or secretly flirting with him. On the contrary, she was crying. He'd watched her in the most indecorous state possible, one against all the rules written in books and taught by guardians. Yet he had been a gentlemen, comforting her and later taking care of her when she felt out of place in all those snobby balls. If only her mother knew everything…_

 _Probably Martha would have scolded her for spoiling everything and burning all her possibilities of marrying the Viscount. Cora thought otherwise._

 _What most might have seen as a failure, Cora thought of as her winning card. She was everything out of the ordinary and he seemed to like it. Cora was American, she'd shown herself in the most vulnerable times, she'd seen places that he'd not yet visited. They talked a lot about their travels, flying with their minds from Virginia to Egypt, Ohio to France. There were not a lot of girls who could've boasted such conversations with him._

 _Cora felt something for the man that passed the mere sympathy. She felt a bond, an invisible string that bound their beings together. Even when they were at opposite sides of a crowded room, they could still manage to find each other with the least effort, every time._

 _"Cora, are you even listening to me?"_

 _"What?" She turned her head slightly toward her mother and frowned. Her fingers almost made the book fall, making it blatant that she was only pretending to read. God knows how many times her mother had called her without Cora even noticing._

 _"What are you thinking?" Martha enquired with a firm voice that wouldn't accept a vague sentence as an answer._

 _Cora felt her cheeks growing red and start to tickle as the memory of Robert came to her mind, leading her through the room as a swirl of coloured dresses, music and laughs surrounded them during their last waltz._

 _"Nothing, really." Cora tried anyway, unable to stop smiling._

 _"You feel something for him, don't you?" Martha leaned over her, talking with a voice Cora didn't comprehend. She kept staring at the pages until her mother gripped her chin firmly and turned her head to look in her own direction. "Answer me." Her jaw fitted perfectly in Martha's palm, making it almost impossible for Cora to free herself without her mother agreeing._

 _"Perhaps." Cora stated with a hint of pride in her voice, stirring on the spot when Martha let her go._

 _"Oh, dear girl." The older woman shook her head. "If I could, I would stop this train and drag you back to Newport." She added with a long sigh._

 _"But why, mother?" Cora swallowed. "Aren't you happy?" Her big blue eyes searched her mother's much smaller ones._

 _"That lad will break you heart." Martha stated, her voice low as if she knew better._

 _"He won't." The girl replied, anger boiling in her veins with no evident reason. "He's different." She scoffed, hunching between her own arms, gripping the fabric of her clothing so hard that her knuckles became white. Cora wasn't planning on showing that she cared so much for Robert – if someone talked wrongly about him – and yet she couldn't help herself. Why she was acting like that, when they were nothing more than friends, she didn't know; she shouldn't have even bothered, she had never been the jealous type.._

 _"Everybody's different until you marry them!" Martha scoffed ironically, patting her daughter's shoulder without sentiment._

 _Cora clenched her teeth, trying to forget all the times she'd found her mother difficult or even impossible. If her last sentence was added to all the other things she'd said during her life, it would have been probably the tiny thing that pushed Cora over the edge for good. Why did she like to tease her own daughter so much? Why did she insist on teaching her a hard life in that awful manner?_

 _If Cora would happen to marry an English lord, she would have to learn how to live and survive on her own. She understood that. Yet she wouldn't mind having her mother give loving advice and support her in such a situation._

 _Her young heart was beating strongly while heading to Lord Downton's house. Her mother did everything to crush her hopes. If only she knew everything and saw that Cora and Robert shared a bond and not a disgrace._

 _"What if I find love, mother?" Cora asked in dim voice, so faint that Martha had trouble understanding her words._

 _"My sweet child." The older woman sighed sorrowfully as for the first time in her life, she seemed sincere. "It's so unlikely." She held Cora's hand and patted it with a feather light touch. "You're young, wealthy and very pretty. He's looking for all of that and you have also the... exotic quality. But don't fool yourself, now, he may marry you without being in love." Her voice was so calm and sweet, yet her words were cold and harsh as stone._

 _"You're wrong, mother." Cora pulled her hand away from the woman's grasp and looked at her disbelieving face with a determined glare. Her mother was probably judging her behavior right then and Cora didn't expect any less from her._

 _"Cora, you have known him for less than six months. He's probably been engaged since he was two years old. Be realistic!" Martha scolded her, raising her finger to point at the girl. "I don't want you to suffer. Promise me you won't fall in love with this lad, ever, and be prepared even for the worst. Life's not a romantic novel, child."_

 _Suddenly the realization that Robert could have either married her or never proposed at all became real to her. After all, they just talked, danced, strolled hand in hand. What if her mother was right? What if the bond was not enough for him? She was there to try to conquer his heart, as many other ladies had done before her and would certainly do after her. How could she be the one?_

 _"But it cannot be." Cora whispered, her chest raising and falling with difficulty inside the corset._

 _"Now, if you want this boy so much and think you could be happy with him, you shouldn't take anything for granted. Put into practice what has been taught to you all your life and it'll be fine. But don't mistake this with love, child, he's playing an act too, don't forget this." She concluded with a humph, leaning her back more comfortably on the seat._

 _Cora stared at her mother for a long moment, trying so hard to process her words. How could this be possible? Did they fool each other the whole time? Did he really play a part with her, like he did probably with other girls? It was so easy to mistake something for love... that was what her mother always told her._

 _No, she couldn't believe that. Because she'd always been sincere with him. Looking into his eyes, she could tell he'd been sincere, too. They hadn't been pretending.  
And it was her chance, her life. Maybe this time a daughter could known best._

 _"I'll be back soon, Mother." She mumbled, faking a passing sickness to escape the small cabin and walk on her own down the tight corridor._

 _She could never say a thing to her mother. She wasn't playing a part with Robert. If she failed, then, it wouldn't have mattered; but as long as she'd used her own ways, brain and feelings because she was sure that it was what Robert was doing, too._

 _What if he was having the exact same conversation with one of his parents, in that exact same moment?_

 _Cora smiled, taking a deep breath. Before she knew it, she found herself on the last wagon of the train with a small open balcony that let her see the landscape without glass in between._

 _The girl stepped out, gripping the cold iron railing hard, taking slow breaths of air that smelled of oaks and burned straw. She thought that they must be close to Ripon, one of the villages surrounding Downton and its properties._

 _A strange thrill crawled up her spine and spread all over her body, even the most remote parts of her limbs. Somewhere behind her, at the end of the railways there was London, her friends, what had been her home since the beginning of her season. Yet she didn't feel as if she was leaving anything behind. Cora wasn't afraid at the thought of never coming back. Was she going toward her future home? Was she going toward a bittersweet rejection? Was she about to fulfill her dreams and sentiments or was she about to crush all her hopes?_

 _Cora didn't know but she had a good feeling. She was happy. No matter how it would go, she would be able to see him again. No matter what, she was heading to her future, bright or dark, and she would accepted it._

 _Her father always told her to live happily, follow her heart and hope for the best. Now Cora was doing just that more than ever. She really was._

* * *

Her slender fingers wrapped around the cool iron until the firmness of her grip turned her fingers into stiff fists. Her knuckles became of a light shade of pink, although not visible, since the gloves protected her skin from prying eyes. She was alone on the small balcony at the end of the train, the air hitting her in swirls, making her light coat and skirt to flap around her body, sometimes following her shape and others carried around by the wind with fluent movements.

Cora didn't know how much time she spent there, she only knew that the lunch hour had gone by some time before. She wasn't hungry and when Edith and Robert moved to the dining car, she excused herself for some time alone. Quite frankly she felt the need to be on her own.  
Despite the fact that she knew Robert would be worried the entire meal – he seemed to care a lot for her, always – Cora very much appreciated that he let her go without too many warnings.

Robert seemed to understand her when Cora herself had trouble doing it. He trusted her and she had gained some strength herself from that. He made her feel reliable again. Now that she sensed that she was on the edge of something constantly, his trust in her capabilities was the fuel that kept her going.

She let her eyes wander around before setting them on the fast sequence of horizontal wooden beams that embodied the railway, rows of endless, identical fallen soldiers running away from her toward their future. It was exactly what she was doing, but in the opposite direction. If the beams could talk, what would would they say? What stories would they have told her? What were they leaving behind? Was their past also her future?

Cora suddenly felt so lost. If someone would have asked her to tell her story, she would have fallen silent because she had none. Everybody had a past. Upon leaving a place, everybody left something behind. Edith had left her paper and apartment, Robert his sister and a house, but what about her? She was leaving a broken memory, only a small part of herself that was a lie and a cruel joke compared to what her real life had been.

Yet for the first time, she didn't feel completely gloomy. Robert was there, somewhere near. He'd be by her side to bring the light whenever the place was too dark. He'd hold her hand when she was frightened, giving her courage to face what was still unknown.

As much as she strived to remember, something was blurring things. It prevented her from finding the way, as if she was in a big alley of a forgotten manor, where the nature had overtaken the path. She found herself sometimes here and sometimes there, only to get lost again in an endless circle which Cora hardly saw the end.

Cora knew that she had been here before. She had seen those trees once. The hills and villages of tiny houses in the distance were not strangers to her.  
She remembered everything covered in a dim fog as the chillier weather brushed against her skin as an uncomfortable companion. She had seen those rows, but the trees had been shorter and younger. She'd seen those hills, but covered by autumns leaves. Cora had watched as the indistinct image of the train flickered in the lake, but it had once had been wider and clearer. There had been different sheep but always the same piercing chirping of the birds overshadowed by the whistle of the train and the deafening noise of the wheels, iron on iron, that travelled from one rail to another as the bigger frame of the whole picture, past and present all mingled together into a broken painting, a puzzle of emotions and lives that belonged to her as much as they didn't.

She'd been here and she'd felt the same, once, maybe more. In her youth she'd travelled the same road with the same thrill for the future. For better of for worse, Cora felt she was heading to her brand new beginning, even if her life wasn't brand new. Her future felt happy and promising. Unlike the first time, she was returning to the house that witnessed her growth. She was returning to the rest of her family, everything she'd lost, everything she'd left behind from her absence, more than a week ago.

It felt like an eternity, a whole life ago. The worst scenario that often took place in her head was that everything that she'd lost remained lost. Everyone's efforts would have turned out useless. How could she disappoint a man like Robert, the rest of her family, when everyone counted on her, as she herself was the only cure now.

But what if she'd lost her memories forever, what if there wasn't any cure?

It was so strange, though. Cora was following a man who loved her, who promised to make her happy, welcome her inside his home as a wife, even if she was only a pale shadow of the woman he knew. She should have felt ashamed, but she didn't.

Cora was happy and she couldn't wait to arrive at Downton, even without her complete memory. It was their new beginning, and maybe as Robert said, she'd even fall in love again.

How strange was to entirely trust a man like that. How strange was it to look into his eyes and feel something warm thawing her heart and unlocking her mind. How strange it was to feel able to do anything as long as Robert's fingers were tangled with hers. She was ready to follow him everywhere, to forget the past that had never been and the future that was yet to come and just to live the moment, following her instinct and heart, that somehow told her that it was beating at the same pace of her husband's.

Or maybe it wasn't strange at all.

Maybe there was a real bond between them, not only a string as she had imagined, but a real connection. Something extraordinary that made her feel somehow worthy of his caring actions, causing her world crumble down when she'd thought she'd lost him even for a second. It was so rare that it was almost impossible to mistake. And if that wasn't something coming from her past, could it had been something from her present? Could it had been... _could it had been_ , really?

"You're going to fall over."

Cora startled when she heard Robert's voice caressing her ears. She straightened her back with a gasp, turning her whole body to face him as her hands were still grasping the rail. Only then did she realize she'd been leaning on that iron little parapet in a most uncommon and unladylike position with her elbows on the cold metal and her chin almost touching her chest.

"Robert." she whispered, her voice almost covered by the noises. "I didn't hear you."

"It's all right." Robert walked closer to her, leaning his back on one of the sidelong walls, his eyes locked on her and his lips bent into a timid smile. "I was beginning to worry."

"I must have lost track of time." She said, her voice a little raspy as she cleared her throat.

"Look Cora, I know it's not easy for you but I promise that it's for the best." He sighed, walking closer to her, the wind unmercifully messing his light hair. "You'll see yourself once you're there. You may not remember all about our family, but you needn't feel guilty. We'll help, you know, everyone will help." Robert took a deep breath, moistening his lips for a brief moment. "If you don't feel ready, though-"

"No, it's not that." Cora cut him off and her eyes closed, her tormented irises shielded by her lids.

"Then what is it?" Robert inquired, begging her with his eyes even if she couldn't see him.

She wearily opened her eyes and her lips parted into a muted gasp. Telling him her doubts and thoughts would be terribly wrong, that she knew. Even if he was her only confidant, she must keep all her fears for herself. Because Robert loved her, his wife, and the last thing Cora wanted was to make a fool of him. She didn't want to trick him, nor get his hopes up; she knew that if she started talking about sentiments and the strange feeling of deep trust, care and fondness that was slowly spreading inside her, including something more that she didn't dare to name, everything would be lost. She would be forced to play a role because she couldn't bear to break his suffering heart yet another time.

"Nothing." She gasped flatly, lowering her eyes once again to the floor. "You're all so kind with me and I fear- I fear I might disappoint you." She said. It was partially true. She didn't even know how many people were waiting for her arrival nor how many people she could let down if only her brain didn't work correctly. "This is my last-"

"Chance to remember. I know." Robert finished her sentence with a melancholic smile. "We love you for who you are, darling, not for who you used to be. You may recover fully or partially... so be it. You belong there, with us." He spoke firmly and passionately and Cora felt tears prickling the corner of her eyes when she heard those words. He was so in love with his wife that he was ready to accept her no matter what.

Had he been in love with her soul, too? Was that bond really their souls searching for each other? Was her own soul in love with his? Could she speak of that?

"And you would welcome me? Just... _me_?" She murmured, her voice almost completely covered by the train.

"Of course. Of course I would." Robert smiled brightly, his eyes flickering with a sentiment that Cora only could hope to share. He closed the small distance that was still between them and his hand flew instinctively onto her cheek. Her skin felt so cold beneath his palm. "You're chilly."

"I'm fine." She replied immediately, her gaze so lost in his. She didn't feel cold when he was beside her, even with the slightest touch.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me." Robert murmured, his eyes becoming glassy. She was so paler than she has been just a week ago, in addition to being even thinner, too. Only God knew what horror she had to go through while kidnapped in that nasty basement. Her cheeks didn't show that dim shade of pink over her cheekbones, neither her lips nor her jaw had much definition.

He felt guilty, because none of that would have happened if only... if only he'd acted as a good husband.

"But it's not your fault." Cora got even closer to him, her face peeking from beneath his to look directly into his eyes despite his heavy lids that hardly contained the tears. "I left." She stated, indefinable memories of herself storming out of a door appearing within her mind.

"I didn't defend you, Cora." He said in a dim voice, shaking slightly his head, his fingertips now trembling above her skin.

"It's all right." She tried to comfort him. Without even noticing, her hand had reached his and her fingers went to wrap around his wrist, her thumb brushing onto his skin with soft circles.

"No, it's not." Robert sobbed, then drew a sharp breath. "I let you go and I've almost lost you forever." His eyes locked in hers as with quick blinks he let all the tears fall on his cheeks. "I beg for your forgiveness, my darling."

"But there's nothing to forgive." Cora replied, her own voice almost cracked by tears that threatened to escape her lashes any minute. "I wish I could give you your wife back, right here and now." She was sincere. Cora would have done anything to erase his pain.

"No, I don't want that." He spoke softly, his free hand grasping her other arm. "I want you." He added then. This time, his voice didn't tremble.

"Then it's all I have." Cora said faintly, but loud enough for him to hear. "And I'll give that to you." Her lips bent up into a sincere smile.

Robert's mind flew back to more than a week ago, when a similar train had brought him and Edith and Molesley to London to face the destiny waiting for them. That day, they had nothing but questions and hopes that soon would be crushed because they were incapable of doing anything. Cora was lost. Those bastards held her captive. As the time passed, fate became more cruel to the point that everything seemed forever lost.

And it didn't matter if now Cora couldn't remember who she really was. Because now she was seeming to come back, willing to put her life in between his hands, trusting her husband totally as the most devoted wife, as the old Cora would have done. She was slowly coming back, throughout those little things that caused his heart to swell with warmth and bright hope.

"I shall, too, give you all I have."

"Who's the lucky one?" Cora chuckled, as he wiped away all the remaining sadness of moments before.

"I missed this, Cora." Robert sighed deeply, his fingers running along the line of her arm. "I missed you bitterly. Laughing with you, talking with you... touching you." He breathed, renewing his soft brush upon her cheek.

Cora realized that she was unable to stop looking into his eyes. She knew his charming and kind gaze by heart. It that made her chest fill with enlivening air and caused her to want to smile. It called to her, as if she was under a spell from which she didn't wish to be unbound.

She closed her eyes, her chest rising and falling with a quiet rhythm. She brought both her hands over his face, her palms on his cheeks and her fingers following the soft shape of his lined brow and smooth temples, her thumbs merely touching the tip of his nose.

Robert stood still, his eyes closed as well while his whole body trembled under her light touch. How much he'd yearned for this, how many times he'd imagined it just before sleeping. He'd had only her coat to remind him of her spirit, her perfume to imitate her presence, objects that had lulled him for such long nights... the harsh testimonies of her absence.

Her fingers danced across his skin, tracing paths she'd learned throughout the years and just now were becoming known again. It was like being in that abandoned manor again while the neglected road was leading her step by step closer to a shelter.

Cora moved her fingers further, and his locks begun to move between the empty spaces. Her thumbs shifted down, gently tracing the line of his lips, the small ripples tickling her fingers when she moved to the top and to the bottom. Then she touched their length with a quick brush until she found both corners.

She remembered those lips.

Cora smiled when soft, unreal, sensations caressed her palms once again, revealing smooth skin with wrinkles she recognised and even a rough chin in the chill of some nights. It was all so familiar and yet she felt that her memory wasn't complete. She missed a touch, a special contact that she couldn't get through her fingertips.

Cora bit her lips and rose up onto her toes, her head becoming lighter. She promised herself and Robert she would have to let go of all the things that were holding her back. Following her instinct and heart when something pushed her toward something apparently nonsensical or unsuitable. She promised to pry herself away from these thoughts, chasing it away whenever it had the taste of a broken or forgotten memory. Cora was ready to do that, maybe for the first time. She desperately wanted to keep just the warming and sweet sensation.

She'd touched that face before, caressed it, run her fingers through the hair and even those lips, but not in the same way.

Cora was ready despite the unmerciful chain that was still holding her back. She wanted to scream for the pain and difficulty. As much as she tried, she didn't seem to have enough strength to break the only thing that was still pulling her away from happiness, freedom and a better future, even when all that was just a step away from her.

It all seemed lost again when an unexpected switch of tracks made the train bump and she lost her balance, as she was still on her toes.

Fate made possible what was happening in her mind only just few instants ago.

Their lips crushed one against the other. Even when the train settled to its normal speed, running more calmly along the road, they didn't break apart.  
Neither Robert nor Cora seemed to intend to part.

On the contrary, they dwelled in that soft contact with all the taste of a sweet memory. It was something of the past that didn't feel old, but just familiar.

Robert wrapped his arms around her tiny body and sighed in relief when he realized it was still a perfect fit from which she didn't seem to be willing to leave. Instead, she settled herself in it, pressing her hands over his chest. For the first time, she didn't push him away. Robert finally felt himself again when his heart pumped hard against her palm. The past was behind them and everything was ahead.

They didn't part until another bump of the train forced them to do so.

Cora lowered immediately her chin as her cheeks turned bright pink and her lips bent up into an embarrassed smile that she seemed to strive to suppress, but without success.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't appropriate." She said faintly, but Robert frowned, grasping the hand she had put onto his heart, keeping it there a little longer.

"Appropriate, what is even 'proper'?" He shook his head, his voice trembling with sentiment. "Just a word, invented by society to enslave us with it." Their eyes met again and they were both flickering with the light of the sun, almost at its zenith. "But there's no proper or improper when love is involved." Robert said, swallowing hard when he pronounced that word that in days hadn't touched his lips. "When _we_ are involved."

"Robert, I-"

"I know you feel something, I can tell." He pledged, then smiled, yet Cora fell silent.

"Oh, please, do be inappropriate." They both turned sharply when Edith's voice broke the quiet that fell between the two. Of course there was the thundering noise of the train, but it was nothing more than a vague background for all of them. "I've never thought I'd say this. You have no idea." She was smiling and a hint of chuckle was inside her tone. "For all the times I felt embarrassed because my parents were being inappropriate at most public appearances or even at almost every family dinner." Edith's eyes started to fill up with melancholic tears that now melted with the happy ones that were coming. "But- that's who you are. It's something that I missed." Edith walked timidly toward them. They were now sharing a blank glance. Cora was lost in her daughter's words, so familiar and distant at the same time, but powerful, at least in that moment, for she saw a glimpse of the things to which Edith was referring. A quick brush on the cheek, a secret kiss, an apparent innocent touch of feet under the table. It was all there and it belonged to her. "So please, _do_ be inappropriate," the blond whispered again, leaning more securely against her father's shoulder and then extending her arm to call her mother to her. The older woman slowly joined the embrace as Edith shared a contented look with both of her parents. "that'll mean that the world is spinning in the right way."

Robert sighed loudly, kissing his daughter on the forehead and squeezing them both with all his strength, causing them to lightly giggle.

"Thank you, Edith." He paused and exchanged a little glance with his Cora. "We'll do everything in our power to bring both your parents back as well as getting our lives as they used to be. Won't we, dear?"

Cora looked up at him with a soft smile, leaning her heavy head on his other shoulder, her eyes locked in her daughter's, full of hope, then she nodded.

* * *

A little fluff for a great Friday. Lovebirds Cobert back in the track!  
What will happen next? Wait for the next chapter "Patience".

If you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)


	19. Chapter 19 - Patience

NdA: Hello! Here we are with the new update. This is the second-to-last chapter of this story and it's also the longest I've ever written. Well, it's not _that_ big actually, but it is for my standards, so I'm really proud of it. There's a lot of fluff involved (finally) for our Cobert.

Big hugs to who reviewed the last chapter: lulin, Dream of Ragtime, witchoesed, Amiliana Martin, granthamfan & the 3 guests, love ya guys! Also a huge thanks to the most wonderful beta ever, **CountessCora** , who takes care of my many mistakes.

For the record, I'm writing a lot, currently, because I've got more free time. Be prepared for some new fics :)  
That said, e _njoy_!

* * *

Chapter 19 – Patience

Robert woke up as a loud gasp escaped his lips. He guessed that he'd heard something coming from the music room but he had no clue on what it was. Could a lamp have tripped? Had a window had been left open and the wind had knocked over a flower vase?

It was so strange for him to fall asleep in the middle of the day, with his head uncomfortably leaning on the desk with a pile of unsigned documents as a pillow. It made his neck hurt due to the awkward angle. Frankly, he didn't recall falling asleep at all, not even thinking about having a nap. Surely he would have at least gone to the sofa. Most often he would have gone up to his bed, like Cora used to do.

Yes, Cora. Where was she?

Robert frowned, turning his head to his side to find the orange stuffed settee empty. It was so strange, because she'd gotten into the habit of lying there to keep him company when he was working. It didn't matter whether she was reading, sewing or taking a short nap, Cora was always there and that made him feel tranquil.

Yet she wasn't there at that moment and she wasn't in the library, either. It was oddly empty as well. No one had tea or was gathered there for a little conversation before dinner; no one had brought down the children to play. Where was everyone? Why did everything seem so silent, all because he'd fallen asleep without even realizing it?

He pushed back his chair, its legs squeaking loudly against the polished floor. The echo spread inside the empty room like a sinister tune that made his skin crawl. His hands and feet suddenly grew so cold while within his torso an incredible heat was tormenting his stomach, making him nauseous. His head didn't hurt nor was it spinning; on the contrary, he seemed to have a clear mind and a strong beat in his heart, perhaps too strong, like when something was about to happen.

Deep inside, he _could feel_ that something bad was about to happen. His first thoughts were of Cora. The rest of the family had someone to rely on and were rarely alone, while she... she had no one. It wasn't due to a lack of other people offering to help her. Cora so often refused it, determined to solve things by herself. In addition, she didn't want to bother anyone when they all had such busy lives. That theory, of course, didn't apply on Robert. For that reason, he had become accustomed to having her around quite often. He was flattered that his wife had chosen him to be her very first companion for most of the day. Robert had to admit that he enjoyed that quite a lot, too.

Still, not knowing where she was or what she was doing, especially when the house seemed awfully empty and odd, somehow, made him feel rather nervous.

"Cora?" He called vaguely, peeking out from the library's door that led to the main hallway. He called out to everyone of whom he could think... family, servants, anyone. But everything remained silent. Even the room had a peculiar light, where his eyes had no trouble seeing all the small specks of dust floating in the air, landing softly on the furniture and flying up toward the upper floors and the staircase. The carpet had gained a paler shade of red than he remembered.

Then he heard noises he couldn't recognize. They sounded like voices this time, which put his nervous spirit a little more at ease because he could hear Cora speaking. Her tone was calm and relaxed. The other voice was sharper, hissing and distinctly masculine, yet nothing like Tom, Henry, Barrow or one of the footmen.

It was a noise that he definitely had heard before, though. His body tensed, his stomach turned and anger started to rush through his veins as soon as the realization came vivid to his mind and the face that belonged to that voice started to form before his eyes, even before having slammed the door open.

Millions of questions started to gather in his thoughts because as much as he tried to find a logical reason for why Peter Coyle was standing in the middle of his music room, he simply couldn't do it. Peter's fingers gripped Cora's wrist, hurting her and causing her to look frightened as she was clearly suffering, while he was boasting one of his irritating grins.

It was as if time had frozen.

Robert knew that Coyle was not new to prison life. He was a smart thief who planned everything with plenty of prior knowledge. Peter had fooled Robert and the family once, for a really long time... and they caught him just under the wire.

"Well well, look who's here." Peter sang these words with his teeth pressed together. The echo of his voice stung Robert's ears.

"Get out of my house this instant!" Robert growled. He was supposed to be in jail and now he'd trespassed onto private property for the second time, threatening a refined lady inside her own house. "How dare you come in here?" He added with a hiss, taking a step nearer, biting his inner cheek while sharing a quick glance with Cora.

He wanted to reassure her, but the job was difficult; he wanted to free her from the man's grasp but he feared Peter might commit a heinous action he couldn't foresee.

"I'm a very resentful person, you see." Coyle said in a smarmy voice.

"You let her go." Robert cried with a clenched jaw, his hands stiffening into two fists with white knuckles.

"Or what?" The other man chuckled, shifting his grey eyes toward Cora, who began to stir and pull, trying to free herself and reach Robert's protection. "You stay put!" He hissed. With a final yelp, she settled herself.

Robert could feel his heart pumping so fast that he feared it might explode. But could he stay there and witness someone hurting his wife?

"You let her go!" He yelled again, ready to throw his whole body onto the man, careless about the consequences if it could helped Cora be safe.

Yet he stopped when a voice told him to. It wasn't Peter's, but Cora's. Her glimmering blue eyes – the only thing that glowed inside that room with pale colour that almost felt like different shades of grey – stared right into his.

"He has a knife." Cora murmured flatly.

Robert lowered his eyes just as much he needed to see a light flicker of blade, the handle between Peter's fingers. He didn't fear for himself but for Cora, who was far closer to the knife than he was, completely at Peter's mercy.

Had she been trying to protect Robert all that time? Was the soft talking he could hear from the hallway Cora resisting Coyle to keep the man away from him?

"In God's name, what do you want?" Robert roared, his palms beginning to feel sweaty, his mind blurring as his lungs constricted painfully. Was there going to be an end to all this?

"As I said, I'm a very resentful person." Peter went on, lifting his hand to make the blade shimmer yet another time in the dim light from the window. "As a matter of fact, we were just waiting for you." With a powerful tug, he pulled Cora toward him, wrapped his arm around her waist and placed the dagger dangerously close to her face. The polished metal reflected the blue pools of her eyes. "Weren't we, love?"

"Robert, go away." Cora whispered, but a squeeze from the other man took her breath away. Her tiny hands went to grasp his arms and her knuckles turned pale as she tried to ease the constriction, but it was completely useless.

"Don't come closer." Peter warned as soon as Robert stepped forward. His hand had been so fast that in a blink of an eye the knife was leaned on Cora's ivory neck, just beneath her chin which she had now slightly raised.

Robert felt so powerless and his mind went almost blank. What did Peter want? To torture him? He was succeeding. Peter would let Robert's family go for good if he just offered him money? A social status? Oh, anything, _anything_ in his power to have Cora safe.

"I'll give you anything, but please, I beg of you-"

"The great Earl of Grantham begging me. Not even you wealthy and rich people have the world at your feet after all..." Peter grinned wickedly and Robert felt his heart losing a beat when he spotted a thin red line upon her skin and a drop sliding down to the place where the blade and the handle met. "A man of your rank begging a common thief, what a pleasant turn of events, uh? Beg again." He hissed dryly.

"I beg you." Robert said, for the first time with a quiet tone, his lungs failing to bring air to his throat. He'd failed her. He'd promised her he'd kept her safe, but she hadn't been safe, not even in her own house. What kind of a husband was he?

"I suppose I can be generous today... by returning your favour." Peter spat, renewing his grin. "Since you stole _my_ wife from me, I shall take _yours_ from you."

Robert felt his heart stop. He knew what Peter was talking about and he knew – oh, sick mind – what he intended to do. It was a nightmare. It was! It must be! But he didn't have much time to realize, pray or hope because with a fast movement Peter dragged the knife down, cutting Cora's flesh as it was butter. Her body fell heavily to the floor as a red pool spread on the carpet, turning into a black liquid.

His ears cringed painfully with the echo of his own screams carried by the piercing sound of fading laughter.

"Robert."

The grey and pale images had melt into a clouded web, which had changed colour into a dark hole of nothing in a matter of seconds. Yet still inside that nothing, he could hear a voice calling to him.

Robert shot his eyes open, the dim light of a candle blinding him while his world took all the colours back.

"Cora?" He stammered, feeling his voice couldn't work properly. He sounded hoarse and tired. His heart was pumping so strongly that his chest hurt.

"Robert, you were having another bad dream." Cora smiled tenderly, her voice melodious, sweet and familiar, soothing him down.

"I was?" Robert's eyes slowly moved to focus on every piece of furniture of the well-known room which had welcomed him so many years of his life. He had grown fond of that room, but still he couldn't feel comfortable as in his own bedroom. The bed itself wasn't comfortable like the other bed they had in the adjoining room, the one she'd shared for all those years, that lulled him to sleep with his wife beside him.

He watched as Cora put the candle down on the bedside table, shifting from the edge of the mattress toward its centre.

"You were." She mumbled. "I heard you talking." Cora continued and his still nervous mind didn't immediately record that her slender fingers had gone to wrap around his hand, squeezing it in a calming manner.

"You're fine, then?" Robert frowned, and instinctively his glance went to inspect her neck. It was neat, clean and graceful, like always.

"You had that dream again?" She inquired and he felt her eyes inspecting him this time, almost from head to toe.

Robert nodded shyly, recalling all the nights he'd kept her awake because she could hear his screams from the other room. How many more times did he have to interrupt her sleep? He didn't know whether or not she was having trouble sleeping, but he felt terribly guilty to break into even that tiny rest she could have during the night.

"I'm sorry I woke you." Robert breathed, pulling the discarded covers back onto his legs.

"You didn't." She replied in a small voice. "Besides," she continued with a smile, "I don't think you should go back to sleep in those sweaty sheets."

He suddenly felt embarrassed about his damp shirt and pillowcase, the completely wrinkled blanket that was half thrown off the bed. What impression could he give of himself? Where was the fine lord she'd met in London? Where was the man who promised to protect her? Why could he only offer her a man who was afraid of his own dreams?

"I- I'll ring for someone-" Robert stammered, turning on his side to pull the cord, but Cora's grasp on his shoulder stopped him.

Her fingers felt so cold upon his flushed skin and her touch seemed to be able to control him with the least effort. That was all his wife's doing and it felt so familiar that almost made him cry.

"Don't bother them." She whispered sweetly, rising onto her feet as she pulled the covers off his legs. "Come in the other room. It isn't really morning yet."

Robert studied her features for quite a long time before reaching for her hand and leading her toward the other room. Why she'd asked him to join her in their room was a mystery. When she returned home almost a week ago, he suggested they sleep in separate rooms. She had accepted it but looked uneasy every night when they had to part.

She'd never complained, not even when she had to rush into his dressing room every night to comfort him and then return to her dark and cold bed. Robert was starting to think that she accepted the idea of different rooms for _his_ sake, not hers.

"You're sure you won't mind?" He asked in dim voice as he slipped inside the soft covers next to her. He sighed contentedly when the slight depression of the mattress, shaped along his body throughout the years, welcomed him and his eyes immediately went to her tranquil face.

"I'm sure." She said simply, shaking gently her head "We could fight our demons together." She whispered, wrinkling the sheets in her fist and pulling them under her chin.

Cora didn't speak about her own dreams that terrified her every time she closed her eyes. But having someone who could understand and console her, even with presence alone, was a great comfort. Robert was the only one who could make her fall into a peaceful slumber. The same happened to him.

It had been a week since the train had brought them to Ripon and the taxi drove them through the high black gates to the abbey, where the large yellow manor welcomed the small group into a whole new world dipped in green, where the sun painted in bright colours the beautiful picture of the castle emerging like a mountain from the grass.

Robert specifically required a different kind of welcome. Mary had suggested that everyone greet them, the master and mistress of the house, in a grand style with the full house gathered outside the front door, the family members on the right and the servants on the left, all shoulder to shoulder in a perfect line. But when Robert, Cora and Edith arrived, everyone was attending to their own business as they did every other common day.

Everyone had been presented to Cora in the slowest manner possible, starting with Violet, who insisted on being the very first person they'd met. She was incredibly gentle with her. However, Cora sensed something strange about that woman, even if she couldn't tell exactly what it was. She felt like there must have been some hard feelings between them in the past, but it seemed so unlikely given the tranquil manner in which the older woman had greeted her.

Robert had to bite his tongue in order to not laugh when Cora asked him why she couldn't recall such a nice mother-in-law. Her face had been priceless when he answered that perhaps it was because that woman was _not_ Violet Crawley.

Then it had been Tom and Mary's turn to appear. Thankfully, Cora recognized them almost immediately, her daughter in particular, whose sight brought tears to her blue eyes. Mary hadn't looked so moved in years, maybe on the same level as George's birth.

Everyone was acting so differently that Robert feared his wife couldn't recognize their own family because he had trouble himself.

They all had a nice meal. Everyone tried to focus on their lives instead of dwelling on Cora's lack of memories, and she seemed to enjoy their stories, questions about London and the learning how Robert cut his hand. They also listened intently to the story of the romantic event of the fair, the dance competition... and who could forget the moment on the bench when Robert told Cora about their wedding and her wedding ring?

Everything went back to normal when Barrow introduced himself with an elegant bow during the meal and Cora herself recalled the time when he had been helpful with the nanny's issue. It was then that Cora demanded to know about the children, calling each by name with mirth in her voice. Everyone smiled with pride and ease in their hearts.

By the time the whole family gathered in the nursery to play with the children, Cora knew everything she needed with all the good memories melding with the saddest ones. She remembered losing two children and finding new joy with her grandchildren. She'd learned about Matthew and all the people who crossed their lives, bad news and good ones, all the obstacles they overcame. As the words escaped her family members' mouths, more images and memories came to her mind; small ones, scenes... she could recall names and moments, and yet her life remained imperfect. Cora now knew broken pieces of a larger life she feared she'd lost forever.

She felt lost. Yet what she had soothed her aching heart. She felt in the right place when she held her children and grandchildren, as well as when she walked through those rooms filled up with ancient paintings, objects, books and clocks. It seemed right to climb those red stairs, her hand smoothly brushing on the wooden railing. She was at home when she first wore a cottony nightgown and lowered herself in that mattress which bore a soft hint on her shape.

Settling into life in the mansion had been much easier than she thought it might be. But nothing was more familiar than blinking awake in the morning to the sweet smell of coffee and Robert's presence that lasted throughout the day? He joined her maid when she woke Cora, smartly dressed in one of his day suits and waited for his wife to be ready for the day. Then he escorted her everywhere with a careful eye and a good word on every piece of furniture, trying to stir the most remote memory in her.

Soon the routine of the house became normal again and Cora easily settled in, feeling happy and curious about everything happening in the house. She wore a bright smile even when she felt like her husband's shadow. Her loneliness faded away when he was around. Being able to look at him anytime, if just for a brief moment, even when he was not looking back, soothed her spirit. She feared, or better, knew, that he felt the same way.

They drew strength from each other and she couldn't be more pleased to be of such importance from him, even when she felt useless. She was happy when someone called for her, asking her advice that she couldn't quite give. It made her feel part of the family once again, the family she owned, to which she belonged. Even if she couldn't quite feel at home yet, she was in the right place. Maybe one day, everything would return to how it used to be, as everyone kept telling her it would. She started to believe it and even hope for this.

She couldn't fail nor go wrong, not this time. Because her old self was locked somewhere inside those walls, her spirit trapped behind a waiting door. That was it; these people were her family and that house would be her home in the end.

* * *

"You can call Lord Grantham now."

Cora watched with careful eyes as Phyllis Baxter walked toward the door, pushing it ajar to reveal Robert's figure already prepared to step inside the room. He once again greeted the family doctor before turning his head to his wife, who was busy buttoning the upper laces of her nightgown and then shifting her long arms inside her light pink robe.

"Is everything all right with her, Dr. Clarkson?" Robert asked impatiently, his eyes incapable of breaking contact with Cora's face, even if she wasn't looking back at him.

"There are some improvements from my last examination, I must say." The man answered with a long sigh, which Robert didn't quite like. He'd visited Cora the day after their arrival and immediately expressed his concerns about her physical health. She had been certainly well looked after by the doctors in London, however the critical circumstances in which she had to live for days had not benefitted her. She was more exposed to common colds and flus throughout the years from that moment on. Her meals needed to be rich and complete in order to strengthen her body. Apart from that, Cora was fine in the physical sense. Her mind and memories remained compromised, yet it was nothing that time and patience couldn't cured, according to Clarkson. After all, he had known her and the family forever and Cora had always been one of his best patients.

"In which field?" Robert inquired again, taking a seat in one of the chairs, the nearest to the side of the bed on which Cora gracefully sat.

"Physically," The man replied with a broken smile, well knowing how much that word could've broken hopes and prayers. "Only Lady Grantham can tell us if her memories are back." He added, turning his head to her.

Cora looked up with somewhat lost eyes, parting her lips in a weak smile.

"I don't remember much more than the last time we met." She answered, shifting more comfortably on the mattress. She'd felt awkward the first time the man had been introduced to her. The doctor seemed to know her so well while she recalled very little about his face or voice. But now she seemed to get used to his presence and found him reliable when he spoke about her medical history, her previous sickness that could've weakened her body, or about the birth of her children which she herself asked him to tell her.

"What shall I write to Mrs. Levinson?"

Cora turned sharply to her husband, her blue eyes wide and puzzled. She felt like a child now that he admitted in front of the doctor that it had been his duty to write to her mother, back to America, because she had so little pleasant memories about that woman and he didn't want to spoil any relationship she may have known.

"Lady Grantham's in good health now and she will recover completely soon. As for her memories... we really can't tell. The human mind is unpredictable and surprising." Cora felt invisible for a long moment in which she strived to recall everything she could about her mother and brother whom she knew were somewhere in America, but with very little success. She was still lost in her thoughts when Clarkson spoke.

"Did you settle in well with the house's rhythms?" The doctor asked, well remembering the woman talking about the Abbey's routines, codes, and how complex they were for her to follow because she remembered very little about it.

"I guess so." She answered vaguely.

"She did. She's a natural now." Robert cut in, a proud smile curving his lips. She'd needed few tips from everyone, both family and staff, but she eventually managed to master it all perfectly as if she'd never left the house nor lost her memories. "It's positive, right?"

"Very." Clarkson nodded firmly, then paused for a short instant, only to take a little breath before talking again, as a glimpse of genius had sparked into his pupils. "May I suggest you something to whet Lady Grantham's mind?"

"Please." Robert said promptly, resting his elbows onto his knees as he shifted on the edge of the chair, his whole body tensed in anticipation.

"You could try some old photos or... objects from the past." Dr. Clarkson enthusiastically proposed.

"Been there, done that." Robert sighed sorrowfully. "It didn't carried much improvement."

"I saw dozens of photos." Cora jumped in. "But I can't see beyond the pictures. I can remember ordinary days where the girls were little, but nothing more. There are a lot of beautiful photos with no story for me." She paused, the air passing almost painfully in and out of her chest. It hurt to see her husband's face when he showed her their wedding picture. For a brief moment, the thought of faking some sort of happiness crossed her mind, but she remained true to herself and just stared at the picture without being able to find that memory inside her head. "Mr. Barrow brought down a lot of things from the attic, but that didn't help, either. This room is filled with baby bonnets and socks I don't recall making for the girls before they were born. There are clothes that belonged to me from before our marriage... all laying here and there, waiting for me to remember... but it doesn't work."

"These things require time, milady." Clarkson said kindly, giving her a broad smile. The sentence, however, was addressed to both Cora and Robert. "You need to be patient."

"We will be." Robert whispered loudly enough to be heard as a sincere smile formed onto his lips and his light blue eyes turned smoothly to his wife.

"There's one more thing..." Dr. Clarkson seemed to be thinking but he was doing it out loud. "Maybe it could be helpful." He added, starting to pace quietly around the bed, his steps muffled by the carpet.

"Name it." Robert frowned, with a little shrug of his shoulder when he noticed that Cora was carefully following every single movement Clarkson made, almost if she knew that something good was about to happen. He trusted his wife's instinct as much as he trusted his own.

"Some of the soldiers injured in the war recovered from memory memories by doing certain things. Maybe they didn't know they were doing something significant, but they were... or they didn't know they were reliving a specific moment of their life and... suddenly..." He left the sentence broken, those marvellous miracles still hanging in his amazed head. "Sometimes doctors and medicines are not the right cure or solution."

"Thank you, doctor." Robert looked at Cora and for a long moment. They just stayed there without talking, staring at each other with absentminded smiles and knowing glances. If the science had done its job and it was their duty to complete the work, they would hold the reins together. Yes, they both knew exactly what needed to be done.

Cora trusted him blindly. Robert had that determined look upon his face that he bore only when he was sure not to go wrong. After all, Cora was his wife, his first and last love. He knew her from a lifetime together. He was sure they could never fail. Maybe his wife didn't remember part of her life, but he knew from her eyes she wanted to; she belonged with the family and house. She wanted her life back, to have herself back, as much he wanted his love again by his side.

* * *

"Stop!"

Robert heard the pinched sound of his wife's voice, but since she had mirth in it and she was chuckling, he didn't believe it necessary to pay too much attention to her exclamation. He continued signing the paper he had under his fingers.

He'd checked her five minutes before out of the corner of his eyes, smiling when he captured her sewing while lying on the orange settee next to his desk. It was her place and he loved having her around, so close to him, especially when they'd been separated for so long that any time together never seemed to be enough.

"Tiaa, stop!" She said again, but this time she let out a frustrated sigh. "You're going to hurt yourself!"

At those words, Robert immediately drew his attention to the pair. Cora was waving her hand at the puppy, gaining nothing much in return other than a powerful wiggling tail and a playful bark. He saw the dog raising a paw a couple of times, attempting to bite the fabric, risking a sting from the needle.

"Tiaa." He warned, pointing at the dog. The puppy let out a soft yelp and leaned her face onto Cora's leg like nothing had happened.

"She's going to behave badly again as soon as you turn away, you know?" The woman sighed, petting the dog and playing with her floppy ears.

"She just missed you." Robert smiled. "I bet she remembers you making her cute vests that she couldn't stand to wear."

"Oh." Cora made a face, lifting up a half piece of cloth that much resembled a vest. "I thought you'd like it." She said, looking at the pup directly into her big brown eyes with a faked resentful wince.

"Good, good." Robert commented with a soft laugh, so happy that she'd returned to things she used to without even realizing it, exactly like the doctor said.

"Milord?"

Robert turned immediately to the other direction when Barrow entered the small library, making his presence known with a little bow.

"What is it, Barrow?" He asked politely, putting his pen down with a smooth movement, finding its place without even looking.

"Mr. Molesley asks if he may have a word with you." Barrow informed with an elegant wave of his head that suggested Robert that the request was immediate.

"Let him in, Barrow, thank you." Robert replied with an approving nod, watching the man as he exited the room from where he had entered.

Robert turned then to Cora, sharing her perplexed look when she asked him what Molesley might want and why he was in such a hurry, since it was almost noon, hence not the most proper time to present a request to talk to any member of the family.

So when Joseph appeared in the library, hat in hand and lips parted although not a properly formed word came from them, Robert focused all his attention on him. He had learned in the most surprising way how valuable the man could be.

"Mr. Molesley!" He explained in greeting, spinning a little his chair so he could face him. Cora put both feet down from the chaise for a more appropriate posture. Even Tiaa did the same, sitting by the mistress' feet with her head up. "What brings you here? I hope everything's fine with you."

"Oh yes, yes, Milord." The man stuttered with a soft smile. "Thank you." Molesley added and then suddenly changed his expression into a fearful one. "I hope I'm not bothering you. I can see you're working, uhm, I can come back later if-"

"No trouble, Mr. Molesley..." Robert cut him off, waving a hand at him, quite failing to hide his amusement toward the man's behaviour. He'd grown quite affectionate toward that goofy lad. "Please, Barrow told me you want to talk about something."

"Uh- yes." He nodded vaguely.

"Good things, I hope." Cora jumped in with a dim voice, quickly connecting Molesley to Baxter. Then she connected the ladies' maid with the dreadful experience they lived together not long ago. They didn't deserve any more bad news or unpleasant surprises.

"Yes, Milady, very good. Or- at least I hope they'll be." A timid hint of a chuckle escaped his lips before he started to talk again. "You see, I came to ask permission to marry."

"That's terrific, Molesley, my congratulations!" Robert said enthusiastically, standing to shake his hand, echoed by Cora, who give her praises in a more composed way. "But you don't need my permission. Even if you worked here as gardener during the summer, you're a teacher now and a free man." Robert frowned.

"I actually came here on Miss Baxter's behalf." Molesley confessed, torturing his hat with his fingers, suddenly nervous. "I haven't proposed to her yet, but I want to be sure... everything would be fine."

"It's fine for us." Robert piped up, turning slightly to see his wife nodding in agreement, her face lighting up with happiness.

"I'm sure she'll say yes, Mr. Molesley." Cora reassured the man. "A wedding. How marvellous!"

"I hope she will, Milady." Joseph smiled. "I'll let you know when the wedding will take place as soon as I discuss it with Miss Baxter."

"That, my friend, would be a wise idea." Robert commented gleefully, patting the man'sshoulder once again. "Our best wishes."

"Thank you, Milord." Molesley bowed and then turned, to disappear once again.

Robert stood still for a while, his mind completely caught up in thought. He'd seen that sparkle in his wife's eyes that he so much adored, her soft smile that still curved her lips as she returned to the chaise, her sewing work between her fingers as Tiaa happily returned to her place upon Cora's knees.

Cora seemed happy, as she was. Robert wondered if perhaps he could keep that joyful sensation in her heart a little longer. Could he inspire the same happiness in her, provoke that marvelous sensation, show her love and have nothing but the same in return? But not yet, not just yet.

* * *

It was late in the night when they all decided to go upstairs and finally seek the comfortable softness of each bed, waiting there for sleep to take over and carry everyone until morning. A new day, full of new possibilities and hopes, would be there.

Robert let himself fall on the small mattress in his dressing room, not even bothering to slip inside his robe, immediately shifting under the light covers with his back propped against the back of the bed. Mr. Bates had just left with Robert's evening clothes in hand. The lamp on the bedside table was still on, bathing the room in a dim orange light that helped him to think.

It had been a beautiful day, of course, and his smile was proof of it. The morning had been quiet and simple as the whole family walked down the paths toward the forest. The children played and ran around. Everyone was telling stories or making plans for the day and the week. He could have sworn that he'd caught Cora just staring a few times, her eyes glimmering and blinking at the possible memory as she noticed the little temples and mausoleum in the distance. Robert always let her be, welcoming her with a broad smile and open arms when she awoke from that sort of trance. He was happy when her hand shifted around his elbow, firmly gripping onto his arm as they walked along the grass. Robert's heart smiled, too, when she raised her chin to look at him and smile for no apparent reason. And then there had been that glance during lunch. It hadn't been anything too special or fancy but she was wearing a sweet smile while sipping from her glass. At some point, she'd looked toward him, unmoving. The water slowly touched her lips with a gentle wave. She did nothing special and yet that gesture didn't go unnoticed. He had framed that image inside his brain and it had haunted him almost the whole day. She was capturing his heart and soul with simple glances and smiles, like she used to... she was aching exactly like his Cora, even if she didn't realize that her actions were familiar to him. She'd done that her entire life and nothing on earth was more marvellous than seeing his wife behaving like the woman in love she once was.

Robert often had wondered if that was just her instinct playing or if something was brewing deep inside. He was happy about it whether they were her old memories or a rising sentiment.

He jolted and turned sharply to his right when the dividing door creaked open, revealing the dark figure of Cora peeking from behind it. The lamp only partially enlightened her fair skin, her fingers loosely gripped on the handle and her big, dark eyes that popped out onto her face, framed with the shadow behind her. It was almost as if it was threatening to swallow her fragile body at any moment.

"Robert? Am I bothering you?" She asked sweetly, pushing the door slightly open, letting more light in to shine on her.

"Not at all." Robert faintly shook his head, thinking she was beautiful with her cream nightgown and bare feet; although there was something he didn't quite like nor comprehend... her expression. She looked so lost and afraid.

"Is there something wrong, dear?" He inquired, frowning. He was already moving the blanket to free his legs and rush to her to discover whatever was the matter. It broke his heart to see her like this.

"Nothing is wrong, really." She answered softly, finally pushing the door open and leaning her shoulder on the frame, her eyes locked with his. "I just felt a little lonely."She confessed and Robert watched as her eye contact became elusive while her teeth went to torment her lower lip.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Robert said, putting both his feet down on the carpet, searching for his slippers. "You can't sleep?" He asked again, already knowing how awkward that question might be since they retired from the library not more than half an hour ago and she wouldn't have had the chance to even try to sleep yet.

"No." Cora didn't dare to look up or to speak loudly. She shyly shook her head, giving him nothing more than a hint of a sideways glance.

"Neither can I." Robert sighed sympathetically. "Perhaps I can keep you company until you fall asleep." He proposed. Without waiting for her answer, he rose to his feet, measuring the distance between them with a long step that brought him close to her. Cora had no choice but to look slightly upward, smile and back into her room.

"I'm causing such trouble." Cora made her tongue click as she walked back to her bed, settling on her side as he reached the opposite side, settling the covers as he knew she liked.

"No trouble at all. Besides, we need to get some rest for tomorrow." Robert chuckled, sighing for a moment as he basked in the marvellous sensation of his own bed... the depression he'd dug in the mattress throughout the years, the sweet perfume of the linens and, of course, the soothing presence of his wife beside him.

"Is it dangerous?" Cora asked, digging herself under the covers, her head slightly tilted in his direction. "Henry and Tom's race, I mean."

"I suppose you can say that." Robert nodded, sorrowful at the memory of Mary's husband losing his best friend in one of those crazy races. They'd witnessed the tragic accident, they'd seen it all. "But they are prepared and nothing will go wrong." He added, trying to be comforting.

"That's another thing going through my mind." She sighed.

Robert frowned. He didn't want to lie to Cora, so he had to tell her the truth. Yet on the other hand, he felt guilty to cause her to feel concerned.

"Don't give it much thought, dear." He smiled sincerely, searching for her hand under the covers, squeezing it hard when their fingers shifted smoothly, tangling perfectly.

"Well..."

"How about I read something to you?" He offered with a grin, his eyes never leaving hers as he explored the smooth surface of the bedside table with his free hand. Almost knocking the lamp over, Robert stopped only when his fingers touched what that he identified as a book. Cora hadn't answered yet, but he was sure she wasn't disappointed... maybe just curious. It was rare that he read to her because most of the time it was the other way around, unless it was some special occasion when she was ill or worried and he tried to lull her to sleep with his charming, deep voice.

"What?" Cora peeped in an amused voice.

Only then did Robert realize that he was staring at the brown cover with a puzzled or rather disgusted and disappointed look.  
" _An old-fashioned girl_?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." Cora nodded. "The girls brought it up for me the other day." She explained with mirth in her voice, but he couldn't help rolling his eyes. "Why?"

"Ah, the girls." He nodded as well, sticking his finger where the thin piece of fabric laid between the pages, opening the book with a smooth movement. "You haven't read this in a while. I suppose it reminds Mary and Edith of the times when you three used to snuggle together during the cold winters before the mantel, on the carpet, driving Mama mad. Times were lovely back then."

"I know." Cora smiled, sinking back into the covers, her chin bent slightly up toward him. "I remember that." She said simply.

Robert instantly turned to her, just staring at those blue eyes flickering despite the darkness. He'd listened to those three words quite few times for so many different reasons, in diverse moments. Yet when she recalled something from their youth, such as their daughters as children or the early years before their marriage, his heart skipped a beat. For him, it was so much more important than anything else. It didn't matter to him if she only remembered images of their current life or most recent years. The times that she was beginning to recall were softer and sweeter, without the bitter taste of the war or loss. They were the reason for smiles or happy tears, not sad ones, as happened more often than he liked. Of course, he eventually hoped for her to remember everything. On the other hand, wanted her to be happy and light-hearted. Robert was torn.

"Where did you stop reading?" He cleared his throat, bending a little over his wife to show her the pages, waiting for her fingers to point the line. It wasn't a new chapter nor a new paragraph. She'd just stopped in the middle of something, as if she had been interrupted while reading. Robert silently wondered what happened but didn't dwell much upon it. " _Little things of this sort are especially good work for little people; a kind little thought, an unselfish little act, a cheery little word are so sweet and comfortable, that no one can fail to feel their beauty and love the giver, no matter how small they are. Mothers do a great deal of this sort of thing, unseen, unthanked, but felt and remembered long afterward and never lost, for this is the simple magic that binds hearts together and keeps home happy_."

Cora was kept staring at the upper part of the canopy, studying the patterns and the figures upon it. She'd listened to her husband's words for a brief moment but unexpectedly she found herself wandering the most dark and mysterious paths and corners of her mind as his words spun around, making her see things such as memories, old and new... some of which made her curious about a lot of things.

It happened especially when those words from Robert's mouth made her see the last few days when her life had been turned upside down yet another time, when she experienced a kind of fancy living without love or fondness whatsoever. Then there were the heavenly moments when he stepped into her reality, showing her so much more than she thought she deserved.

She started to live on little things, finding real life in those quick walks, messages, smiles and kind words they exchanged. There was that dance and the little flower he gave her on the evening of her birthday. Her life had become colourful since he came, those gloomy days of wandering aimlessly faded away, replaced by his strong arm on which she firmly had gripped, letting him lead her through dark times and good times, toward their house. She trusted him and him alone... his heart, eyes, the closeness that brought the sun into her life even when it wasn't actually there.

She found the beauty and love she sought among those little things indeed. It wasn't in the fancy riding habits and clothes, nor in the glorious house but in the people inside it, especially Robert. For their hearts were constantly searching for one another. His heartbeat kept her alive and his smile affected her very lips.

And what was all of this if not the exact thing for which she was searching? What was it if not the right path to walk? If it wasn't right, there wouldn't have been any spark inside her the first time she laid eyes upon him. She wouldn't have felt her heart thaw out when he first hugged her, letting her grow stiff under his touch as her brain and heart fought hard one against the other; she shouldn't have felt happy when they'd danced among all the other people, her mind shouldn't have awakened in that very moment, carrying all the memories of dances, music, holding hands... his face, smiling down at her as the words spun around again and again with the taste of wine and the sound of laughter ringing inside her head. She shouldn't have felt scared when he fell that day on the street or felt like dying at the mere thought of living the rest of her life without him. She would never have felt so right, happy and loved when they kissed on the train only few days ago.

And what about all those days? The nightmares they fought together?

That all must've meant something. If it wasn't love, what else could she call it?

Her heart pumped almost painfully against her ribcage, her breath short in anticipation. He brain was telling her to wait but her whole body and soul was telling her not to heed this feeling. She wouldn't wait, not anymore... what for? Extend the agony? Delay something she knew it would happen sooner or later? No, she couldn't.

Cora shut her eyes, squeezing her lids hard. Her fingers did the same, mercilessly gripping and wrinkling the covers inside her fists. She wasn't listening to Robert anymore; his words had become nothing more than a meaningless litany.

She was nervous and scared, but what she felt overcame all.

Cora drew a small, sharp breath before talking, her eyes still closed. She had to try or she felt she might die.

"Kiss me." She said, in a firm and dim voice.

Cora listened carefully when Robert abruptly stopped reading, creating a deafening silence that made her whole body shake.

They both could only hear their breathing, broken or completely absent along with the rhythmic beating of their hearts echoing into their ears and throats.

"What?" Robert asked in a trembling voice, his fingers so weak that the book fell onto his lap, shifting the covers, tumbling off the bed and hitting the carpet with a soft thud.

"I said kiss me..?" Cora repeated, her eyes moving slowly toward him. She felt incredibly embarrassed and yet her fright had completely gone, maybe replaced by bravery, but she felt relieved as if finally she did something good and right.

Robert, on the other hand, was staring at her with his mouth open in shock, completely puzzled, his mind constantly asking if he was dreaming or wide awake... even if he'd overdone his whiskey.

It wasn't that he was displeased, of course. But he wanted to understand why she had asked him. The look upon his wife's face told him that he had heard right and the soft rouge that was visible on her cheekbones made his heart melt. He was not mad. Why had she said such a thing? So far, there had been nothing more than chaste kisses on cheeks, quick hugs and glances. It had indeed been so breathtaking beautiful, yet he couldn't explain the reason for that demand. Maybe there wasn't one.

Maybe it was as the doctor had told them that morning. Perhaps he had done something right, something that reminded her of the old days, something that awakened her memories for good. The words could've been the trigger and now she possibly knew everything.

"Do you remember, Cora?" Robert asked in fading voice, his head slightly nodding in anticipation, his lips curved into an already joyful smile. There could be a reason why she said those exact words. Maybe she didn't only remember just her life, but her sentiment too. "Do you remember... loving me?" He tried, swallowing hard as he pronounced those last two words.

Cora looked sheepishly into his eyes, hating to dash his hopes yet another time.

"No." She whispered so weakly that he could barely hear. "I do not remember, and-" she drew a short breath, biting her inner cheek when even the hint of smile upon his mouth faded "-I do not remember loving you."

He stared at her blankly, his eyes unmoving and his breath absent. She could see his bewilderment, the hopes shattering with hundreds or thousands of questions crowding his mind. Robert's blood pumping through his body was nearly audible, bitter as Cora's own words had carried him to this point.

"Then how-" Robert frowned, turning slightly to his side to better face her, his body so stiff that he had trouble moving properly. "-why?" He stuttered, leaving his lips ajar.. "Why do you want to-" Robert's lungs required air all of a sudden, forcing him to leave the sentence unfinished.

Cora stared back at him. Her cheeks and chest were flushed. For a long moment, she forgot how to breathe. It was as if she'd fallen into some strange parallel world where she could not speak or move but only let her sentiment talk to her. Cora's heart was beating words, as if those words were coming out of her mouth. It was not time to stay silent, not any longer. It was the time to speak, because... because why not, if she knew that her emotion wouldn't have changed? Could she dare to say what was in her heart and mind out loud? Could she?

She was tearing apart from the unspoken words. She shouldn't have been afraid to open her heart to a lifelong partner. He was her only friend in that dark place. He was her husband, her only confidant. After all, it was he that made everything possible. Why not ease his pain with simple, wholehearted words that could do the same for her? Cora drew a short breath, looking straight into his eyes and filled her lungs with just enough air to speak what she'd repeated inside her brain since he'd asked her why.

"Because I love you now." She said, stressing the last words as if the past was no longer of import, as if there was only the present. So many times he had told her to stay in the present to make her feel better about her lacking memory. "I love you now, Robert."She repeated. For an instant, her fingers touched her own warm lips, curved into a soft smile. Saying those words out loud made it more real. Cora almost couldn't believe herself for having been brave enough to tell him that emotion she didn't dare to name, the one that brewed inside her for such a long time without her even knowing, the one that spread from her heart to the furthest parts of her body.

She held her breath once again when she saw his eyes flickering and growing watery as his lips trembled while the skin on his chin wrinkled oddly. She didn't want him to cry, of course, but if he had to do so, she really hoped it was out of a good response to her action.

"Oh, Cora." He said, his voice hoarse and shaking. "You mean it? You really mean it?" They both smiled simultaneously and Cora herself felt something prickling her eyes while her heart and stomach flipped with the excitement and happiness inside her.

"I do." She replied sincerely, nodding gently. "I'm sorry I can't remember the love we shared, but," she lowered her eyes as a passing sorrowful shadow crossed her them, "I know I love you at this moment and this must mean something." Cora swallowed hard, her fingers playing lazily with the hem of the linens. "Something good."

"I never would have thought of it, not even in my wildest dream." Robert whispered as his hand leaned onto her cheek, wiping away small tears that had fallen from her lashes. "I know the past is important, but this moment is much more precious." He smiled, daring to slip his fingers inside her soft locks for the first time in days. He felt so lucky and happy when she didn't move, except for her eyes, which fell gently closed, just enjoying the sensation, as he wished for her to do. "I love you dearly, Cora, and I can't ask for anything more than that you love me too. I- I don't care if you once loved me. All I care is that you love me now. Hopefully, in the future, we can live and grow old together as we once promised each other."

"I do." She repeated, her lips bent into a constant smile. "I do love you and I'll love you more every day with each piece of our lives that I'll find."

"My Cora... my love." The words slipped out his mouth as no more than soft gasps that she wouldn't have understood if it wasn't for his lips moving.

Cora smiled, tilting her head as her hand leaned upon his cheeks, feeling the softness of his rough skin beneath her palm, through her fingers.

"I want to remember what it feels like to be your wife, Robert. I don't care if I can't remember straight away. I do care for the present, this moment. I do care that... that I love you. If I had the chance to start my live all over again, I'd do it with you. I just want to love you." She said calmly, measuring every word, putting all her effort and sentiment she found inside her heart. How beautiful it was to have his love and to give him the same love! She could promise him the future and present he deserved. "Now, kiss me?" she added with a coy smile and audaciously leaned slightly over, waiting for him to do as she had asked. Their lips touched so faintly that, for a moment, they asked themselves if they were dreaming. Then they closed their eyes as they made the mutual decision to close the distance between them. Their lips explored the softness of each other as their breaths became one with the taste of liquor combined with the sweetness of honey milk. Then their kisses became more profound, more passionate, more their own.

In the privacy of their room, they were finding what was lost. Perhaps they were recreating something brand new that carried the taste of a beginning and a nonexistent end.

There was not embarrassment, restriction nor fears.

Robert and Cora were husband and wife, yet also two sweethearts savoring love for the first time. They were all and nothing, but they were in love and unafraid of the outcome because their decision couldn't bring anything bad. They'd lived two whole lives and were just starting a new one together.

And if that was wrong, how could it feel so right and divine?

Robert felt like himself again with his wife beside him, their love blooming again. It was indeed stronger than ever, despite what the couple had been through. Cora was in her rightful place within his arms, where she was supposed to be for the rest of her existence.

It was right and it was beautiful.

"I love you so, my darling." He breathed against her lips, his thumb brushing against the shapes of her cheek and jawline.

"Show me." She simply whispered back, her blue eyes stuck in his now darker ones.

"What?" Robert frowned another time, trying to see if he'd heard right, or better, if he'd understood what she meant. He knew that look, smile and was cognizant of the soft warmness that now was spreading onto her fair skin. "Cora, I-"

"I want everything back, Robert." She exclaimed as she began to chew her bottom lip. "Or... I want everything for the first time." She wasn't exactly sure how to tell him what she wanted, nor why. Cora just knew that she forgot all the manners she had learned, what was proper or improper, for now it was just Cora and her husband, alone together, and she was eager to feel him close, so close that they would become one. Weren't they already?

She just wanted to feel whole again. For that to happen, she knew she needed Robert. After all, her husband was a fundamental part in it.

"Cora..." He almost gasped her name as her body, heart and brain were all fighting for the same reason: only the Lord knew how long he'd craved for her touch, how much he wanted to kiss her again, feel her close to him, draw warmth from her and give her the same thing in the slight chill of the night. And yet.. how could he ignore the feeling that he was betraying her? Was it too soon? But what was time in a moment like this? Weren't they soul mates? Weren't they in love? Weren't they married? Why, why on earth did he have to feel this way, creating trouble for nothing? Why did he have to hold himself back and prevent Cora from getting what she wished?

"I love you, Robert." She said slowly but firmly. "I know I did in the past, even if I don't remember. I want us back."

"My sweet, sweet Cora..." He whispered, searching for her hand and squeezing it hard, his eyes unsteady, looking at every inch of her face to see any evidence of second thoughts or uncertainty. "Are you sure, now?" He waited for her shy nod and then curved his lips into an odd smile, from which a soft laughter escaped. "God knows it's what I want, too, but-"

"I am sure." Cora said, her voice betraying a little chuckle. "Robert, time won't make any difference. I love you at this moment and I'll love you tomorrow, and the day after as well." She let her fingers slip through his hair, softly and slowly, making him involuntarily hum. "It doesn't _have_ to be tonight, of course, but just know that I'm your wife. I _feel_ like your wife and I want us to have everything like we used to, like we should have, no restrictions of any kind."

"I love you now, too, dearest darling." Robert murmured, his fingers slowly caressing her cheek, as if he was facing upon an inestimable piece of art, a statue, a precious painting or the muse who inspired it. It was so real and yet so unreal, about to disappear with the slightest mistake.

He closed his eyes, tasting every bit of heaven that had been granted with a silent pledge, his fingers restlessly touching every inch of her pale and warm skin. He followed her jaw down to her neck to the blade of her shoulder, rubbing the thin fabric off with a firm stroke until it slipped down her arm to her elbow, where it rested for a moment. Robert dared to place a small kiss onto her exposed skin, collecting all her shivers and quivers.

It was beautiful. He'd missed her dearly and now he felt complete again, home again. For his wife was next to him, her skin bathed into soft warmth that he'd learned to recognize throughout the years, that sensation that soothed him down to sleep, the same feeling that filled his universe, that made him the man he was.

He'd longed for that contact as well as the dreams and desires, even the lust he'd tasted during that time of anticipation and thoughts. Nothing else could brighten everything, making it feel more fair, languid and affectionate.

He felt more intimate with his wife than ever before when their bodies touched, skin rubbing against one another in a slow tangled movement that connected them physically, mentally and emotionally. It was a caring waltz that followed the pace of their combined heartbeats, restoring what had been lost. The close hugs had been gone with the memories, as were the occasions for soft kisses.

The room fell silent for a long moment, as if the world had stopped to witness two halves of the same heart finally reunited, connected with the most ancient and yet rare sentiment. Their kisses that quietly echoed in the air, their breaths racing one after the other into a dazed prayer which ended into a long sigh and a smile, their eyes locked, blue on blue, turned into a darker shade which also glimmered out of love and fulfillment.

"I love you." Cora whispered gently, cherishing the perfect moment of that tight hug embracing all that she felt. She knew she belonged to him as much as his heart was devoted to hers.

"I love you too, darling one." He murmured back, kissing her knuckles with a loving smile.

Cora closed her eyes and he shifted at her side, his hand still tenderly brushing her warm cheek. She was so beautiful with her lips slightly parted in an oh-so-weak smile, about to fall asleep.

"Cora?" He whispered. Her eyes flickered open.

The candle had died, yet even inside the almost complete darkness of the room, her blue irises glowed like stars.

"Yes?"

Robert stared at her for a long moment, nervously biting his bottom lip as the words threatened to escape any minute. He was uncertain of letting them out. A storm was brewing inside of him and he really didn't know if it was better to face it and take the rock off his chest or if he needed to wait for it to cool down. He could leave the future to fate. But could he now that it was all clear, now that she'd offered him everything? Would it be fair?

No, he couldn't keep the secret, not any longer. He had to try, just as she did.

He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them once more, he was ready to speak. It was something that he'd already done before, after all.

"Would you like to marry me?" He asked, his stomach flipping inside his belly.

Cora looked at him with a puzzled expression, before chuckling happily close to his smiling face.

"But, Robert," she stammered, not sure to laugh or be serious. She chose the latter, for her heart told her so, "we already _are_ married." Cora mumbled faintly.

"Of course we are." Robert nodded. For a moment he considered how strange those words must have sounded. She needed an explanation, she deserved it. After all, he was proposing for the second time in his life to the same woman for a reason. The reason wasn't just love. It had been also a rational decision. He had been a practical, romantic man for whole his life... and _his_ Cora knew that. "You need to do everything that mattered again, right?"

"Right." Cora smiled, nodding along.

"Nothing was more important than the day you became my wife and I your husband." Robert went on, searching once again for her hand and squeezing it, briefly kissing the back of her fingers before locking his eyes in hers.

"I suppose not, Robert." She swallowed when he held his breath, getting ready to say what he had borne in his mind and heart the whole time.

"We shall renew our vows." He said. All at once, images of their younger selves flashed before his eyes. How beautiful she was and how gorgeous she would be again! She'd wear a white dress, her smile upon her peach lips as her blue eyes glimmered with happiness. If the wedding occurred, she might remember something. And if not, he could create new memories: happy ones, precious ones to carry to the grave just like the memories of their first ceremony. They had nothing to lose. What could go wrong? "You love me, don't you, Cora?"

She bit her lower lip, fidgeting under the covers, her heart pumping blood painfully inside her ribcage. What else could she say? She'd told him she loved him since the night had fallen.

She was back against the wall, and never in her life had she thought of it being a sweet sensation.

"I do love you, Robert."

He smiled tenderly and moved closer to her lips, his breath warmly caressing hers. "So, will you marry me?"

"Yes. Yes, I will."

* * *

Ready for the much deserved happy ending? See you all soon (I hope), stay tuned for the next smaller and happiest update "An Endless Love".

If you have time, **leave a feedback please** , thank you! :)


	20. Chapter 20 - An endless Love

Hello! Here we are with the final chapter. It's been a long journey and I loved it! I've got a few words for some special ones, see you at the bottom of the page.  
Ready for the happy ending? For now, and for the last time in this story.. e _njoy_!  
Oh, and _happy IWD_!

* * *

Chapter 20 – An Endless Love

Cora was unsure whether or not she was awake until the soft squeak of the door opening proved to her that the morning had indeed arrived. Along with the gentle sunbeams that crept inside through the fabric of the curtains, the new day had welcomed her into a new life... awakening her at last not just from physical slumber but from slumber of her mind. She felt awake for the first time in weeks. Just as in all her most beautiful dreams, she opened her eyes when the smell of breakfast reached her nostrils.

She turned under the covers, feeling a little confused as she extended her arms when at first she touched the empty side of the bed. Yet when the realization of which day it was came to her mind, she couldn't help but smile, humming in delight and anticipation of the events of the day ahead.

"Time to wake up, sleeping beauty."

Cora frowned a little when she heard the familiar, yet unusual voice greeting her. She blinked a few times, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her fingers as two figures darted around her room. One was busy opening the curtains and the other rushed to the side of the bed, pinning her body to the bed with something that resembled a wooden tray.

"What are you doing?" Cora asked, grinning, when the full light of the new day entered the room, revealing the mysterious figures as none other than her daughters, all dressed up in soft colours with elegant hairstyles and pearls around their necks.

"Pampering the bride, of course." Edith chuckled, pushing the tray a bit closer, showing her mama its contents: orange juice, her favourite cake, toast, eggs... everything she could've wished for.

"We dismissed Baxter on our way here." Mary added with a bright smile, walking closer to stand beside her sister. "We thought you'd like it," she explained, biting her lip. "us, taking care of you for today."

"And of course she agreed on fixing anything if we mess up." Edith chirped with a grimace, sharing a conspirative look with her sister, who slightly nodded.

"You couldn't have thought of a better gift, my darlings." Cora whispered, happy tears threatening to escape her lashes any minute.

"Early this morning, we sent Barrow to look for your wedding gown, Mama." Mary sighed gravely, taking a seat next to Edith as their mother drank her juice with an everlasting smile upon her face. Nothing seemed to have the power to sadden her mood and yet Mary feared that the news she was going to say could throw a dampener on the celebration; but on the other hand, how could she not tell her? Only the previous evening, her mama was talking about how lovely would be to wear the same dress she wore the first time. Even if they knew she was just thinking out loud, Mary and Edith had thought it would have been indeed lovely to retrieve such precious item their mama didn't even completely remember.

"You really did?" Cora questioned excitedly, but the somber expressions she saw in response shrunk her smile almost immediately.

"It's still beautiful, mama, but it's a little ruined." Edith mumbled. "You can't wear it today, it has this unpleasant yellow shade all over."

"That's a pity." Cora sighed, putting the glass down and setting the tray aside, ready to get up soon. She suddenly felt nervous and fidgety as an unusual trilling waved back and forth inside her chest, stronger each time her heart beat. "You're sure it's ruined?"

"Well," Mary raised her eyebrows, looking down to meet her sister's gaze. "it's in my room, I can take the box to you."

Cora nodded with a pleading expression they couldn't resist. They had discussed it for a few minutes before entering their mother's room, whether or not it was better to keep the secret. How they just wished they had the power to clean that gown with a magical touch and make that day perfect in every way for Cora.  
They didn't have a magic wand, of course, but they promised each other to do everything they could to make the day flawless and unforgettable for everyone to mark a new beginning after the horrible situation that had torn their lives apart.

Edith worked hard to comb her mama's hair as she had watched so many times as a child, when Cora's maid pinned her dark locks and braided her curls in beautiful styles, so different from the modern and popular ones they all currently wore. When Edith looked at her mama's reflection in the mirror, she felt like a child again, as in the times when she sat on her lap to play with her jewels as Cora got ready for dinner.

Her mama looked like a perfect Victorian dame and Edith couldn't have been more proud of her work. She'd studied her parents' wedding picture for a whole night, even practicing a little on Marigold as she played with her dollies. Now, looking at the result, she was so happy at the idea of reliving such a special day for her family. How many people could say they had seen their own parents getting married for the second time? How many would know how everything had started? How many had gotten to live one day in 1890?

"There." Edith said proudly, pinning a silver barrette to one side of Cora's head.

Cora's eyes immediately darted to the jewel as her fingers flew up to touch the blue stones upon it. It was a ghostly touch and yet Edith followed her movement as if she was captured under a spell.

"I remember this one." Cora mumbled, her brain working hard to separate the reflection in the mirror with the same reflection of many years ago, so similar and yet so different for her.

"Papa gave it to you." The girl explained with a melancholy smile. "It had been shipped with the letter that said you had been-" Edith swallowed hard, shaking her head to erase the painful memories. "It doesn't matter now." She sighed, renewing her grin.

"Robert gave me this for my birthday." Cora whispered, her eyelids falling slowly. "One of the first we spend together, if not the very first one."

"Yes, that's right." Edith nodded happily in a dim voice, afraid that if she spoke too loud everything might be spoiled.

"And I lost it, you know?" Cora chuckled, her blue eyes clouded with memories as she was lost somewhere in a missing world on the other side of the mirror, a place only she was allowed to see and touch. "The same night, I thought I put it in my jewellery box but it wasn't there. And I lied to your father for days saying that I didn't want to wear it because I was too afraid of breaking it, when in truth I didn't know where it was." She paused for a moment, gently shaking her head with a curious smile upon her lips. "Your father pretended to trust me when he knew I was lying because he was the one who had the barrette. He found it on the carpet and had it cleaned. I felt so silly and in love with your father like never before."

Edith sat quietly on the settee behind Cora, listening to her mother's voice telling the story she heard so many times as a child, but now if felt like the very first time. She didn't even notice that Mary had returned, as she, as well, had been charmed by the story and the cherished memory that had returned to her mama's heart and mind on that very day, just like that.

Mary was still frozen in the doorway, with the opened box between her hands when Cora spotted her in the mirror and called to her with a wide smile.

"That's it?" Cora asked thrillingly, getting up so fast that none of them had the chance to reply or to beg for her to continue the story.

"Yes." Mary answered gloomily. "See? It's old and it's a winter dress. You couldn't wear it anyway-"

"It's perfect." Cora cut in, her eyes shimmering as her fingers brushed the rustling lace.

"But, Mama," Edith frowned, walking closer to the other women, ready to support her sister in defending the new dress their Granny had chosen; sober, crème, nothing close to an authentic wedding gown. They all were in favor of the different kind of gown since this wasn't a real wedding. A more serious cloth would be more proper but how could they have been sure of their choice? Their mother's eyes were glimmering over the original dress. Every fiber of her being blatantly screamed her will to wear that gown one more time. "You're going to die from the heat in this." Edith mumbled, her own voice unsure of the real meaning of those words. It all seemed settled and nothing on earth would be able to change her mother's mind.

"I don't care." Cora shook her head and grabbed the gown from the box, lifting it with one smooth movement to hold the soft fabric against her chest. "I _have_ to wear it." It was hers the first time she married Robert and it had to be hers this time also. She wouldn't have agreed to wear anything else.

Edith smiled almost immediately, followed by her sister, who sighed in surrender. How could they even hope to persuade Cora to change her mind on such an important day?

"I'll speak with Granny." Mary breathed gravely, faking her annoyance.

They carefully helped Cora to slip out of her robe and nightgown and to put on the lace wedding dress, as Edith settled the fabric smoothly around her body. It wrapped around Cora softly and perfectly, almost as if it was made for that day instead of almost forty years before. Mary tightened the silky ribbon at her waist for the final touch.

"Just like in the picture." Edith whispered.  
Mary frowned slightly, wishing she'd been the first to say those words as their mother looked like her younger self in her wedding photograph. Nothing seemed to have changed from the hair, the dress, her smile and the shimmer into her eyes. She was the same girl in love who was about to marry her fairytale prince.

"Thank you, my girls." Cora took one last look in the mirror, smiling when she recognized the reflection inside the glass. When she turned to face her daughters, they almost immediately reached out for a tight embrace, which she happily give them, her mind only for a second wandering in the distance, wishing for Sybil to be there, too. Maybe she was indeed, or in the next room, the nursery, at little Sybbie's side as she prepared her pretty dress for the ceremony.

"You've got everything, Mama." Mary softly kissed Cora's cheeks before stepping back, looking at her mother with a critical gaze. "You've got your old dress, your silver and blue barrette and... Granny sends you this." She said lastly, pinning the family brooch in the centre of her chest, under the small lace collar.

"Traditions are traditions." Edith smiled, kissing her mother's cheek as well. "Whether it's a first or a second wedding."

"I shall need something new now." Cora chuckled with an embarrassed grin, as her cheeks turned red. She felt like a bride, even if technically she wasn't. And yet, was it so wrong to feel that way?

"You have it, Mama." Edith smiled, grabbing one hand as Mary did the same. "You've got your new beginning ahead with a lot of grandchildren to cuddle. A long, happy new life with papa, us and the children, together."

Cora smiled, taking a deep breath before settling her eyes on the door, both her hands firmly holding onto her daughters'.

"I couldn't dream of anything better."

* * *

Violet well remembered the last time she walked through the main doors of Downton as the mother of the groom. It was a long time ago but the slight excitement at the bottom of her stomach was the same. Nevertheless, if the first time that bothering tickle was of annoyance and hidden anxiety, this time was of utter joy and pride. However, she would never speak of it.

At first, she thought they were being absolutely inappropriate in their modern decision to renewing their vows. She hadn't even had heard of anything like that. She thought it was some horrible American tradition but then she dismissed the idea considering that Cora knew perhaps less about America and its traditions than she did. Violet had never heard of any nobleman performing such a curious ceremony, but since the 'wedding' was taking place in the hall with the family only, being nothing elaborate nor fancy, she thought it better to refrain from saying anything unpleasant. After all, she was more than happy for both her son and daughter-in-law, the same woman she had despised and learned to love. Violet was more than ready to tolerate the new event just to see Cora smile again as she came back to the family, entering in the same way she had many years before... with the same glow, the same dress, the same thrill for the future and the same love for her only son.

Violet would have never admit it out loud but she was happy to be there, to witness for the second time Robert's wedding to Cora, the one she was proud to call his beloved wife and her own daughter-in-law.

So when she sat in the first row of chairs that had been arranged in the hall, she smiled contently to herself as her daughter took a seat next to her along with Isobel and Tom and the husbands of her granddaughters, their children in tow.

There weren't as many in attendance as the first time as they weren't gathering in the church. They had no priest not organ playing in the background. Yet it was so easy for Violet, along with anyone present for the first wedding, to go back in time and see a young Robert take a young Cora as his forever wife, to see them as barely adults while they swore their love and devotion to each other for the rest of their time on earth.

Violet thought Cora was beautiful, even if she was wearing her old wedding gown, even if her hair was styled in the mode of the Victorian Era, as if time hadn't actually passed by. In a way, Violet felt that way herself. She truly felt as if she was witnessing everything here for the first time. Neither Robert nor Cora after all had changed a bit. Cora had always been loving and kind even if she had grown much during the years until the name of countess fit her perfectly in elegance and grace. Robert, although he had become more open and soft throughout the years, always had a growing love for his wife, the same sentiment he'd discovered later in their marriage, born soon after they met, even though he ignored it at first.

Then, when Violet closed her eyes for a moment, memories of a lifetime ago came back to her mind and she found herself sitting on the cold bench of the church in the freezing air of February as the smell of flowers assaulted her nose. Her ears were pleasantly touched by melodic music which walked along the solemn Latin words that would have warranted his son in the bonds of marriage for eternity.

* * *

 _Cora was pretty, she had to admit that. She almost looked like an English girl with her hair combed in the latest fashion in London, wearing her pearly white lace gown shipped directly from New York, brought straightaway safe and sound by none other than Martha Levinson, who was currently seated next to her, sobbing horribly into her tissue, her face half hidden behind a vulgar red fur._

 _Violet sometimes couldn't believe how a fragile and – she had to say – graceful creature like Cora could have been raised in America, since her mother was always so exaggerative in everything she did. But most of the time, she felt the duty of complaining regarding such negligence in the choosing of the next Countess of Grantham._

 _It was all said and done, nevertheless, because now that the American Princess was at the altar, securely holding onto Robert's hand, nothing on earth would have prevented their wedding. Not that she would have liked it to have been prevented now._

 _No matter how much Violet could complain, Cora was indeed a pretty girl. She was willing to learn, wishing to please her husband in every way possible, even if she thought she was silly for loving a man who had chosen her just for her money. Violet couldn't help but notice that her Robert was falling for the girl without even noticing it. Violet already knew that the union between them was going to be a winning one, both for love and also for a more venal matter of money. Cora brought love and security to the family in so many different ways, many of which she probably wasn't aware. And how could she? She was so little and young, naive in certain aspects. Maybe a lot of people would consider Robert and Cora two fools in love or simply too young to see life as it was. Yet Violet knew better – and she suspected that Martha knew too – because all mothers know best._

 _She scoffed for convenience when she heard Martha wiping her nose and sobbing even louder as the priest was preparing the final speech which would bond the Levinson and the Crawley families._

 _Violet wasn't openly smiling because she was too focused on the small lump at the base of her throat. The emotion which she could not name as its cause was unsure. Was it excitement? Unhappiness? Was it secret joy for her only son and his wife-to-be?_

 _She felt a curious feeling when Cora's voice echoed dimly inside the church. It was a soft chirping, yet it was enough to thaw her heart in a way Violet couldn't believe was possible. She turned slightly to her left, frowning when she saw Martha in a state of complete bliss as her daughter repeated the pastor's words with care and grace. Violet thought it was highly inappropriate that Martha was mouthing the same words as if was a prayer, although deep inside, Violet was following each of the words herself, reciting everything by heart. Maybe she didn't look like it but she was a romantic, too. After all, even if she wasn't willing to show her sentiment to the world, Violet knew herself and that was enough.  
The act she performed every day was the same act Cora would have to perform for the rest of her life. It wasn't easy but it was right._

 _"With this ring I thee wed." Cora whispered loud enough for all the people inside the church to hear. Violet blinked when the girl pronounced the vows. Cora held her breath as her slender fingers met Robert's. "And with it I bestow all of the treasure of my mind, heart and hands." No matter how strange it sounded, Violet knew she wasn't only parroting the pastor but was speaking with her heart in her hand.. Perhaps a lot of the people there thought it meaningless but Violet could see beyond that, much further than the spouses themselves. She knew better because she had never had such luck when she was the one at the altar getting married. Robert and Cora had something more than she and Robert's father had shared. Violet couldn't deny it; she was happy, even if she could never tell a living soul._

 _"I give you this ring in pledge of my love and devotion." Her son said back, adorning Cora's finger with a thin golden ring with a neat movement. Robert went on with his vows, yet Violet couldn't hear any other sound. Everything was clouded and her heart was pumping fast._

 _She was happy._

 _She was happy but she couldn't show it._

 _She was happy but also jealous of everything they had and of everything they would have in a year or two._

 _She was happy but it was more proper to show anger and regret.  
As the years went by, this duty became habit._

 _Love is rare, while hate has always been much easier to perform._

* * *

Violet blinked away the memories of a distant February that seemed to have taken life before her eyes again. It was beautiful and emotional, just as it had been then. She was now smiling at the brand new couple that were married almost forty years ago.

For how unconventional it was, it was right. Violet knew this because as she looked into her daughter-in-law's eyes, she could see all the old thrill, all the love she tried so hard to hide that now ran freely from her body and soul.

Robert was handsome and Cora was pretty. She may have had a few more lines on her face, but she was still pretty like always.

Violet felt silly for all those years she had wasted in hatred and unpleasant words toward the poor girl. But now there wasn't much for her to do except look brightly at the future.

Violet was indeed happy, genuinely happy that all of their lives were finally back in place.

* * *

Robert was smiling restlessly for minutes now and he had no intention to stop. He was so completely happy to hold Cora's hand, relieve the day of their marriage, that magical 16th of February that brought the most precious thing in his life. Cora was his very light, his very reason to breathe every morning. Cora was everything, now more than ever. He knew he couldn't live without her sweet kisses, the comfort of her embrace at night nor without her smile to welcome him each time he came back home. Cora was life itself. It was like tasting the air for the first time in years because she was back at his side.

Robert entangled his fingers with Cora's. They turned to the small crowd of people gathered in the hall of Downton... many friends with amiable eyes and smiles, their blood family and those who were family of the heart. The whole staff was present because both Robert and Cora knew that they would be nothing without their faithful staff. In that room were so many people from the past and the present, everyone who counted, those whom they loved and cherished, for that special and unique occasion.

Robert was happy and proud of his life and, most of all, of Cora.

Robert was grateful for his family and for the second chance destiny had given to him and his wife.

He lifted her hand, kissing he knuckles softly, unafraid of the dozens of eyes that were trained upon them.

"Many years ago I married Cora." He spoke, his voice almost cracking with emotion. "And after too long I realized that I loved her. Without her, I would be nothing. I would have been a pale shadow of the man I am today, and maybe not even that." He paused for a while, meeting Cora's shining eyes. With that small gesture, he seemed to have taken all the strength of the world. "The day Mary was born I thought that I would have married Cora again, hundreds of times, if it was possible. And I've had that thought millions of times throughout the years of our marriage." He took a deep breath, just to smile again, as a single tear streamed down his cheek, quickly captured with his finger. "We've come through a lot of bad times, and yet here we are today, celebrating our love and our union for the second time, as if it was the first. In the name of a new beginning, from where everything had started." He swallowed hard, turning again, this time to face Cora, who was looking back at him with her lips parted, completely captured by his words. "I give you this day, Cora, my love, for you to come back in this family like you first did, back in both our collective lives and into your own. We love you very much. _I_ love you very much and I'd be honoured and blissfully joyous to give you a grand welcome back."

"I love you very much, too, Robert." Cora murmured back, her voice cracking several times due to the happy tears. "And I cherish all of you. I thank you for being here from the bottom of my heart." She whispered, sharing a smile with everyone.

She wasn't afraid that the celebration would appear egoistical or like a frivolous game because it meant the world to her. After all, she knew that everyone knew that.

"We should move to the library for the toast, then." Robert proposed, kissing her cheek as he extended his arm to show the guests where to direct themselves.

Several minutes had passed since the ceremony was over. The hall, once full of people, now rested empty and silent with only a distant murmuring coming from the adjoining room, serving as a quite melancholic background.

"Are you all right, darling?" Robert whispered near her ear, laying his hand upon her shoulder to give her a reassuring, soft squeeze.

"Perfectly." Cora smiled back, covering his hand with her own, much smaller and colder. "I just wanted to say... that I'll be faithful, I promise." She grinned over her shoulder, tilting her head so their eyes could meet properly.

"What?" Robert frowned, confused and yet alert at the familiar words.

"I'll make you happy and I'll keep you safe." Cora replied properly. "This time, I shall make you that promise." She added, smiling when he appeared to remember. All those days trying to get Cora's memories back and now he was the one who had to remember their wedding day, his promises to her, sealed with the same ring she had on her finger that carried the word 'fides' inside of it.

"Do you remember, Cora?" Robert asked hopefully, grabbing her hands, for her eyes had never been able to lie to him. This time he was sure what the answer would be.

"Yes, I do remember." She nodded happily, her eyes becoming wet and shimmering again.

"Everything?" He asked, his heart beating madly inside his chest.

"No, not everything." Cora shook her head a bit unhappily. Yet, despite her answer, neither of them felt mournful. "But a lot." She added, images of her life inside Downton, from her wedding day on were taking form inside her mind and settling inside her heart. "And I _will_ remember everything, one day, I'm sure of it." She murmured again, as reminiscences of her childhood, memories of her first trip to London with her mother, the first time she met her husband, her wedding day, their children, their love blooming ran through her mind. The old sentiment was now melting with her present one, becoming stronger and purer.

"So you're coming back at last, my darling?" Robert inquired, lifting both of her hands to kiss her skin. There he remained, with his lips pressed on the back of her hands, inhaling her scent, drowning into her blue irises.

"But don't you see?" Cora sighed happily, freeing herself from his grasp just to lean her palms onto his cheeks. "Don't you see, my dearest darling, Robert?" She took a small breath before talking again "I'm already back."

"You are?" He asked instinctively, even if he knew the answer. For weeks, he'd thought that his mission was to bring Cora back to Downton, but it had never been about bringing her back physically, it always had been about bringing back her spirit, too. It had been a journey she only do on her own. It had begun long ago and now was it really ending?

"I belong here. This is my family. _You_ are my family. This... this is me." She murmured and closed her eyes, pressing her forehead to his, her reddened lips brushing against his mouth with a soft caress. "Because you are my home. I'm back to you, at last."

* * *

 ** _FINE_**

note: (from Wikipedia) _A wedding vow renewal ceremony is a ceremony in which a married couple renew or reaffirm their wedding vows. The ceremonies have been popular in Italy for decades, and have existed in United States since the 1950s, but only became popular there after the 1970s. [...] In the United Kingdom, the Church of England offers a service called "Thanksgiving for marriage" for the renewal of offices also offer ceremonies, conducted by registrars but with no legal status, for the renewal of vows. Celebrants can carry out this wonderful services and these can be held anywhere and how you choose. With any Vow renewal there is no legal requirement you are just reiterating the vows you once took._  
So yes, it's the wrong period for the Coberts, but well, forgive me?

* * *

And that was it. Frankly, I'm tearing up. I loved it, I loved it all and I hope you guys enjoyed this story as well! There will be more stories, Cobert stories, of course.. so stay tuned for more updates if you want ;)

I owe you a lot. I thank from the bottom of my heart every one of you who read this, followed (you're so many!), favourited and most of all reviewed, because it helped me a lot as a writer but as a person too. I must say that without the help of the best beta ever, I wouldn't be here. So, here's to you, **CountessCora**! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Then, in no particular order I have to mention:

 **Dream of Ragtime** , my mumsie. Thank you for your support and patience.. and for our crazy times as well!

 **witchoesed** , my loyal reader. Your reviews really warm me up everytime!

 **granthamfan** , your enthusiasm inspired me, I hope this final chapter didn't disappoint you!

 **lulin** , another devoted reader, your reviews make me happy!

 **lemacd** , your words are heartwarming. Your passion is golden!

 **Emma** , thanks for your feedbacks, they kept me going!

And then, my "honourable mention" who didn't review the previous chapter(s) but are always in my heart: **Downtonix** , my friendmate. **Countess of Cobert** , **sinceyoufellinlovewithme** , **eyeon** , **Amiliana Martin** , **ohtobealady** , all the **guest** s, my Tumblr friends and of course any other who contributed to get me to the amazing number of 160+ reviews. Insane! Thank you all!

I shall miss this story.. but of course it's not over.  
When one story ends, another one begins.

Bye, see you soon.

I dedicate this to my fiancè.


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